Upcoming Phoenix trip

[eldiablo311 201]

My wife and I will be in Scottsdale here soon for a vacation. I am hoping that my wife will find another guy, or even girl, to take back to the room and fuck in front of me. She has been with 2 guys (not at the same time, 2 separate times) and 1 girl so far since we have been married and we have been married for 3 years now, so I know she is willing to do it given the right circumstances. In fact, with the girl, that was all her doing and she instigated it...I didn't even know she was planning that! And she has said that it was fun flirting with the guys more than anything...she was disappointed in their size once she got them in bed and they didn't make her cum.

 

My wife, in recent months, hasn't felt great about her body because she hasn't been able to workout as much as she would like. I think she is not feeling very sexy. I tell her she looks great naked as much as I can. Also when I bring up this idea, she gets a little annoyed saying that "I also want romance" between me and her, like a nice dinner out and sexy time just between the 2 of us. She also has said "I don't look forward to trips as much anymore because of this". Other times she says the thought excites her to flirt and possibly more. I feel like I am getting mixed signals.

 

What should I do? Should I just keep quiet about the subject unless she brings it up? When we are on the trip should I suggest, like I have usually recently, that we go into a bar separately so she can flirt with guys and possibly take one home if she likes him?

 

Any suggestions are appreciated! I tried to keep this as brief as possible and still explain the situation.

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

Give the lady what she wants: some romance! Make her feel special and that you love her. Telling her that you want her to go flirt with other men doesn't always say 'I love you' the way women want to hear it. It sounds like she is feeling disconnected with you and is asking you to try and fix this. So fix it...the rest will come on its own.

[eldiablo311 201]

Sounds like great advise, that is what I'm thinking as well. Like you say the rest will fall into place once she feels better about the romance between us. We will have plenty of time for that on our upcoming trip!

 

Thanks!

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

Be sure to let us know how things go...

[eldiablo311 201]

I will do that! I will give an update after the trip in a couple of weeks.

[longun45 115]

I have only 2 words for you - FLOWERS and seduction.

[eldiablo311 201]

I have only 2 words for you - FLOWERS and seduction.

 

I totally agree, but I do get the strong sense from talking to her recently, her body image is playing into this a lot. She doesn't feel good about how she looks right now, even though I tell her she looks great. I imagine it will all fall into place soon.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Body image issues is something I struggle with constantly. Even if she were willing to swing and find a playmate, it is only a temporary band-aid and it could actually make her feel worse in the end.

 

The best way for her to feel better about herself is if she is able to recognize the problem and is willing to do something about it.

 

For myself, I find that I feel much better about myself when I return to a regular exercise routine. Perhaps your wife might find it useful for her too and be physically active in something she enjoys.

[eldiablo311 201]

Yeah, she is a tough girl and likes to work out. When we first met she was doing triathlons. I think she has just gotten out of the routine lately and sometimes when that happens, it can be hard to motivate yourself to get back into the gym on a consistent basis I think. Her work has been really busy lately and stressful, so sometimes she just wants to come home afterwards and have a few glasses of wine...which I don't blame her!

 

I know she will get back into working out regularly again soon, it's just a matter of time, it's just a shame that it may be taking a toll on our "play time" right not LOL!

 

I figure when we go on this trip next week, I will let her know that I am down to see if she can meet a guy or girl that she likes and to take them home with us...if she wants. I want to throw it out there and let her know she has the green light from me, but I don't want to make her feel pressured at the same time. I figure I'm the gas, and she is the brakes in these situations. I think when we get out there and we are having fun and relaxing and having lots of sex...she may start feeling better about herself and may be willing to do it.

 

Also I have suggested to her that, before the trip, we should go shopping for some sexy clothes for her to wear out there. To turn me on and other guys/girls as well. That might help her feel sexy too, that and a nice mani/pedi beforehand.

 

We will see! We are staying in Scottsdale at a nice resort, so that will be fun.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I figure when we go on this trip next week, I will let her know that I am down to see if she can meet a guy or girl that she likes and to take them home with us...if she wants. I want to throw it out there and let her know she has the green light from me, but I don't want to make her feel pressured at the same time. I figure I'm the gas, and she is the brakes in these situations. I think when we get out there and we are having fun and relaxing and having lots of sex...she may start feeling better about herself and may be willing to do it.

 

Based on what you've shared in this thread, I wouldn't say a single word about any kind of hook ups on this trip. Just you two. No one else. Don't even mention it. She'll see that you're listening to her, and that it's all about the two of you when the chips are down.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

In the future, let her be the "gas pedal" so that you know that she is interested and ready.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

. . . We are staying in Scottsdale at a nice resort, so that will be fun.

I believe that we stayed at that one a few years ago. If my guess is correct, it is really nice. Have a really nice time.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I think you should listen to what she is saying. Do not talk about other people. Stop pestering her, she knows. Heck, I've never met you, but I see your name on a thread and I know! It's the guy who wants to see his gf/wife with other people...

 

Just go and have a romantic, sexy time together. Show her that you and she are enough.

[eldiablo311 201]

Good points, enough said! Lol, you guys are right. I will shut up about it, however, if she brings it up...then I figure it's fair game for me to talk about at that point.

 

I will let nature take it's course.

 

Yes, this resort is really nice, and it's been a couple of years now since we have been there. We usually go once or twice a year and have a blast!

[eldiablo311 201]

So, before we go one this trip next week. What do you think about what we have been doing for the last several weeks? I have told her I will eat her pussy while she looks up guys masturbating on the internet. We have done this several times now, and she seems to really enjoy it and get turned on also by looking at the guys while I keep her entertained! Do you think this is a good way to approach the topic? Am I pressuring her too much by asking her to do that?

 

I figure this is a good way for her to feel "comfortable" about thinking about other guys, while she gets to enjoy something that she really likes from me at the same time and I get to enjoy knowing that she is getting turned on by thinking about and cumming to watching other guys that she is turned on by. What do you think about that?

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

Well I hope that you have been working extra hard on making her feel loved (emotionally, not just physically) and giving her some romance. The other thing you should have been doing is talking about your fantasies and just working on communication in general. Next thing is to NOT try to force things. Sometimes we play a game when we are out with each other and look at the other (in our case) couples around us and discuss if we would enjoy seeing them naked and/or swapping with them. We have no intention of trying to hook up with these couples, but it is kind of a sexy game we can play in public with each other. From here, you just need to see where she is willing to go with it. Don't pressure her, just make the weekend fun and sexy and make sure that YOU have no expectations other than having a great weekend together. If anything happens...this weekend or in the future, great! If not, that is great as well. Your wife should ALWAYS come first and everything else is just the sprinkles on the ice cream sundae. Make sure she KNOWS this all the way through.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I would keep my mouth shut about all things related to swinging until she brings it up. It doesn't count if you are the one who hints at them. Looking at porn does not mean that she's on the route to being a swinger or ready to engage in swinging activities. When she says to you, "Hey, remember when we played with that man/couple? I'd like to do that again sometime," then you know she might be more emotionally and mentally ready. Otherwise, if you keep bringing it up and she doesn't, you might be forcing/nagging her.

[eldiablo311 201]

Sounds good, thanks for all the great advice! I will keep my mouth shut about it, UNLESS she says something about it first, and focus on us having a fun, sexy, romantic time!

 

Maybe I will try playing a variation of that game GoCouple was talking about. We have done that before, but where I ask her to tell me what guys she sees that she would fuck or like to see naked.

 

Also, I'm still going to bring condoms, just in case, as usual.

 

I had a dream last night about her stripped down to her underwear kneeling before a guy that was sitting on the bed in his underwear and she was taking her bra off and then she leaned in to make out with him...soo hot! Do you think I should mention the dream or just leave that alone? I suppose that would be "bringing the subject up"...so probably not good right?

 

One last thing, she always, including recently, has said that she would love to fuck another girl again and she will always want to do that. So, it's more the having sex with another guy thing that she is not into as much...sometimes...depending on the situation. Lol! She always playful jokes with me, recently, about some football players she thinks are hot, and she insinuates that she would want to fuck them...she does this with a little naughty smirk on her face because she knows I like to hear it. So she does, somewhat mention stuff to me, even recently.

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

...well you ALWAYS want to be prepared. While most likely nothing will happen (other than the both of you having a great time together), it's better to be ready instead of not being ready and having the opportunity happen.

[eldiablo311 201]

...well you ALWAYS want to be prepared. While most likely nothing will happen (other than the both of you having a great time together), it's better to be ready instead of not being ready and having the opportunity happen.

 

I agree, that is exactly what I was thinking. Like you said, most likely nothing will happen, but I want to be prepared. I've experienced times with her where I thought nothing was going to happen, and then boom! It happens!

 

She will see the condoms and mention the subject to me at that time I'm sure, but other than that I'm not going to do anything to bring the idea up.

 

We are here at our resort now, so we will see what happens!

[eldiablo311 201]

Just a quick update, she already saw the condoms in the drawer when she was putting stuff away and she wasn't offended or mad. She just smiled and said I don't know what you think is going to happen and I'm going to call this the condom drawer!

 

I told her it's just in case. Then later she something about me wanting to get down to it. I haven't said anything about the topic so far other than "it's just incase".

[eldiablo311 201]

So I haven't brought the subject up, but she mentioned it a couple of times and when I asked her if she was into it, or ,liked it, she said that she did like it, but that she "doesn't feel that into it right now." I asked her why and she said because she didn't feel that good about the way she looks right now.

 

So I feel this is the main reason she doesn't want to do anything with anyone right now. She said she enjoys it, and it is exciting, especially with another woman. So I don't think it's going to happen this trip, but not because of anything I have done or said, but because she doesn't feel good about how her body looks right now.

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

This is a very good thing! Just keep talking and work on helping her feel better about herself. Women are their own hardest critics.

[eldiablo311 201]

I agree woman are their their own hardest critics sometimes! She doesn't feel great about her body right now, but she is very committed to working out hard once we get back from this trip! Me also!

 

We went to a strip club last night and we got a private dance from a sexy girl and we were both sucking on her nipples, the girl was grabbing my dick, I was grabbing her ass, I kissed her, my wife did too, and I was kissing my wife and sucking on my wife's tit's also! Good time! My wife was way into it and totally cool with all of it! The stripper even asked if she would be okay with her dancing on me, and my wife said

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

REALLY...you're leaving it at that?!!

[eldiablo311 201]

Sorry! Busy with the trip and coming back home! We just got back, and we are very SAD!!! We had a blast! She didn't sleep with anyone, but there was plenty of talk, that she initiated, about it. Including with that stripper. The stripper said she lost her virginity to a black man and loved it! My wife got to talking with her about that and I told her my wife wants to try a black guy and the stripper was joking that she wouldn't want to go back! Lol!

 

We also did some role play in bed, where I told her to think about the first guy she slept with after her long term relationship with her ex girlfriend. She said he was the reason she wanted to give guys another try, because he was good in bed and made her cum a lot. She said he wasn't that big, but he know how to fuck her, and he fucked her hard. Anyways, I asked her to think about him while I was fucking her and imagine it was him, to think back to how he fucked her, we even did the same positions like they did together. I asked her to say "Fuck me David!" and she really got into it and came extremely hard!

 

Afterward, she claimed she just did it for me and that she wasn't really into that, but, I don't know? The look on her face and tone of her voice and how hard she came? I just can't help but think she LOVED it.

 

What do you guys think?

 

p.s. - Yes, my wife was extremely cool with that stripper being all over me. I was sucking on the strippers tits, and grabbing her ass and taking turns with sucking on my wife's tits also....so much fun!

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

Why are you even trying to analyze this? Just ENJOY it. And I hope you made sure to let her know how hot it was and how much YOU enjoyed it.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I think she knows how much Mr. eldiablo enjoyed it...the question is if Mrs. eldiablo enjoyed it or is just doing it for his pleasure.

[eldiablo311 201]

Good point, why over complicate it huh!

[eldiablo311 201]

I think she knows how much Mr. eldiablo enjoyed it...the question is if Mrs. eldiablo enjoyed it or is just doing it for his pleasure.

 

Yeah, that is what my question is exactly. I mean, of course, I enjoyed it immensely and I told her I thought it was super hot and turned me on, but that is my concern...does she like to think about it. I really don't want her doing things unless she is a least getting some pleasure/fun out of it herself...hopefully a lot of pleasure.

 

I guess I could just not worry about it, but I want her to enjoy these things we do. I want her to want to do them, even if she doesn't want to instigate these adventures, I hope that once we are in the middle of them she enjoys and is turned on by them.

 

To another point, I really think the main thing holding her back from doing anything with another person recently is her body image. She even said "I am the bait in these situations" speaking in reference to how she needs to get back into good shape so that she can attract girls/guys and feel good about herself naked in front of a stranger.

 

We were even talking on this last trip about how she had gone on a business trip by herself in the recent past and went to the hotel bar and some guys were hitting on her. I asked her if she would consider taking a guy up to her room if she really liked him and I said I was okay with it...she said "yeah, maybe." I think that is more evidence that she does want to do this stuff at least sometimes.

 

The whole point of this is I don't want to pressure her, but I also want her to want to do it and I want her to tell me she wants to do it because I LOVE it and it turns me on so much.