We need truthful answers about the Lifestyle

[EB BiCurious 15]

Hello All,

 

My wife and I are new to this site and are going to be new to the Lifestyle. We will be going to a local On Premise Swingers club in the near future and if the possibility to go to a Private House party arises we would not object.

 

We are interested in a Bi-Curious or a Bi-Sexual couple who have had some experience in the Lifestyle to guide us in the right etiquette to experience all that we have been fantasizing about for some time. We are going to be very honest and get to one of our fantasies (here we go).

 

My husband's fantasy, with my definite approval, would like to have male on male sex, of course with all parties involved approval (don't want to step on any-ones toes). We are not excluding anything or any acts which lead up to his fantasy. You can tell by the way we are phrasing this how green we are (green does not imply to jealousy of any sort but inexperience in the Lifestyle).

 

As of now we are a monogamous couple together for almost 20 years and have recently realized our mutual bi-sexual interest. We are in this as a couple, that will not take one for the team. Any answers or questions you have for us would be responded to very honestly as one of our biggest dislikes are hypocrites.

 

We are not posers or phonies, we are honest and down to earth people.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

To answer a question you haven't really asked... male bisexuality and male-on-male sex is, in my experience, still very taboo in many swingers clubs. While clubs are usually fine with the behaviors of consenting adults behind closed doors, public displays of male-on-male are generally discouraged and finding a male bisexual encounter at a club is difficult and often closeted. Yes, it is a double standard (since female bisexuality is almost expected), and in my opinion a deplorable one, but it is a reality.

[nouse4aname 15]

Yeah, there's a lot of beating about the bush on the subject with code words put in place like being "open-minded". In the heat of the moment, the wife asking the other guy if he can suck you does tend to get a positive response.

 

For best results simply list your online profile truthfully as bi/curious.

[kikonkrome 844]

Hello All,

We are interested in a Bi-Curious or a Bi-Sexual couple who have had some experience in the Lifestyle to guide us in the right etiquette to experience all that we have been fantasizing about for some time. We are going to be very honest and get to one of our fantasies (here we go).

 

My husbands fantasy, with my definite approval, would like to have male on male sex, of course with all parties involved approval(don't want to step on any-ones toes). We are not excluding anything or any acts which lead up to his fantasy. You can tell by the way we are phrasing this how green we are(Green does not imply to jealousy of any sort but inexperience in the Lifestyle).

 

You are not alone with the all bi-sexual fantasy/reality. It is a little more tricky than just female bi-sexual, or straight partner swap. However it is definitely possible to make it a reality. I think there is a certain segment of Swingers that are into it, and are more quiet about their desires than others.

 

I and other members of the board will be more than happy to share our experiences and give as much help as we can. Just let us know what your questions are?

 

Honestly a lot of what applies to standard swinging applies to the all bisexual world as well.

 

Most importantly enjoy your search and the whole experience.

 

[Guest sandraandalex]

Well, you could email the hosts of the Club you're going to and see if they can recommend someone or a course of action to take. After all, if you want to know about a restaurant, ask the Chef.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . .male bisexuality and male-on-male sex is, in my experience, still very taboo in many swingers clubs. . .

This matches my observation. A female friend of mine asked, on behalf of her boyfriend, the owner/operator of the largest club near here and received a song and dance that added up to, "do what you want behind closed doors but don't display it to any of the members who are out on the main floor."

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

My recomendation would be to use one or more of the swinger sites that leans to connecting local couples. Some sites are more for event connections or travelers. If you search habitually on the same sites you can learn to read what the profiles are really saying. I'd also recommend a site with discussion forums. I've had better luck on those. It seems folks are looking at what I write & getting interested. I'm certainly learning a lot more about the people who post comments on the discussions than those with only some brief profiles.

 

I have been suprised by the number of propositions from "STRAIGHT" male halves of couples to me the Bi single male. It seems a lot of those husbands have skills & interests they do not brag about in their profiles. Also have had some straight claiming couples ask if I had a bi buddy who could join me playing with the wife while hubby watched. Hmmm...

[EB BiCurious 15]

Thank you for all your comments. We heard on a podcast called Swingcast by Jon and Allie, that the best way to get the lay of the land is to talk to the bartender. Do you think the bartender would have that info on a Bi-Couple at a on-Premise site?

[kikonkrome 844]

Do you think the bartender would have that info on a Bi-Couple at a on-Premise site?

 

I have never done it. Usually the club or party states what kind of party it is. If it's not stated you can easily assume its for bi - girls and straight guys. Even then with a given couple there's a pretty good chance they will both be straight.

 

The only time I have come across bi - guys is at parties where it is specifically stated that the guys are bi and there will be male on male contact.

 

Bizarre as this may sound I have heard some hatred filled male homophobic reactions to your question, or the implied question. Personally I am there to have fun, so it's not that big a thing for me.

 

If you have Never been to a swing club before I would recommend reading the guides here and going to just observe. Be part of the scene.

 

I would specifically look for an all bi party to go to as well if that's your thing.

 

If you are unsure about a party ask the host, guide, etc., bouncer at the door. Ask who the host is from the bouncer at the door? Usually you meet the host pretty quickly and they will be ecstatic to fill you in on more details than you could need.

[asncpl 729]

We are both bi-sexual so I sympathize with your situation. Like other posters said, you are unlikely to find what you want at a public swinger club. We were very fortunate that a few years ago a local couple responded to our online profile and invited us to a private party that they hosted for bi-couples only (and those who don't mind the presence of bisexual activities). We became regulars ever since. Besides the other great suggestions already posted, I say go out to clubs and what not and meet people. It doesn't sound like you are against straight swinging, so have fun and you may meet a like-minded couple when you least expect it.

 

If you take a look at the other posts on this topic, there are several forms of bi when it comes to men. Not sure what you are into, but some are easier to find partners than others. As an example, finding a male half of a couple to receive oral sex from your husband is definitely way easier than finding another guy to take it up the behind. So I think it's good to sort out how bi-curious you are.

[Funguy796 44]

Hello EB, Since you are in Western Florida, I would recommend you go to any of the clubs just north of Tampa. There are several. I have been to Paradise Lake. Get naked and join people in the hot tub. You will meet many people and just thru chatting you will find people to explore with. The bartender and desk lady will help you if you let them know, "we are new and a bi cur couple looking for others..." I have asked if they know the background on people and they are focused on ensuring you find a good match. Good luck, Marc

[JHugh 24]

Check around in your area for a bi or bi-friendly lifestyle group. We have one in the Piedmont NC area and they have had some nice parties. Very open and friendly to the bi-curious with no pressure.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I think if you put an ad on SLS (swinglifestyle.com) and say exactly what you're saying here, you'll meet compatible couples. You'll be surprised that a lot of their ads might say straight male. But going to a swinger's club might be a risky thing. I think you'll be better with an ad and then screen whoever answers well.

[Cleve76Pom 24]

Do research on bi-friendly groups, they are out there

 

This will allow you to move forward

[lizard-lix 32]

One other potential avenue is going to a kink party/club instead of a swiniger's party/club.

 

When I was in TX, the kink party (held in the swinger's club, on a night they are closed) was 100% bi friendly and the playroom was a total mix-it-up zone (yes, they did BDSM and other kink as well as just sex, but it was a great place to meet people for about anything... Negotiate and jump in if it works).

 

I also agree with the folks above. Ask, look for openly stated bi-friendly groups and start out carefully if you are a typical swinger's club. At one club we used to go to, male bisexuality was not at all welcome. At another club we went to, the couple that first approached us was immediately open about the wife wanting to hook up with bi guys, the hubby was OK with it, but wasn't committed.

 

Good luck!