Single male now - thinking about swinging again

[ncmd_couple 597]

I'm single again after many years. I'm not going to get married again, I'm done. But I'm not dead yet either. So it is very different for me to think about swinging again, as a single. Fortunately we met some great gentlemen over the years for me to emulate. It just feels weird....

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Hi, ncmd_couple! I "know of" you from your older posts and it's good to see you return. I hope swinging as a single male is a successful journey for you!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Good to see you back here at Swingersboard again. My wife and I know several singles. They all seem comfortable in their situations. I expect that you'll find your own happy place.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Good to see you back here at Swingersboard again. My wife and I know several singles. They all seem comfortable in their situations. I expect that you'll find your own happy place.

 

I really miss the good times when I lived up that way. Enjoyed meeting you two. Miss the Cottage. Nothing like that in NC and the swinging in this area is really different that in the NE. But I don't miss the snow!!!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Great to see you back on here! It has been a while, eh?

 

If memory serves, I'm betting you'll have success as a single male in the swinging world.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

It will take some time to adapt I'm sure, but you're in a lot better place than most single guys since you a have experience and already "get" swinging.

 

Really happy to have you back here with us! It just happened that your post was at the top of the home page wall when I logged in, and it immediately caught my eye and I was like: hey - that's ncmd!!

[ncmd_couple 597]

Lots of changes for me, I got married at 18, back in 1977, been through a lot of changes over the years. Interesting part is that this is the first time since then that I get to call the ball on everything. I am in a very different work environment, good and bad, mostly good, but I seem to be at work all the time, or sleeping, and I'm having problems dealing with the work schedule. It does not allow me to go out much. And as I said, the swinging community is very different here. Slam bam thank ya' ma-am, which isn't really my style.

 

We dipped our toes in when we moved here, and it was ugly. That may have been part of the end of our relationship.

 

I tried for the last 6 years, but, it is what it is.

 

I didn't choose this path, but I have to make the best of it. Swinging, I miss the relaxed sexy environment, see where it goes, and the friends that I made there. But I also know that the dynamic changes. More about her than me at first. I have always been about pleasing others more than myself.

 

Now, I have options, but when I have interactions I tend to be more restrained, with the new work situation, and several that have hit on me since the word got out, I'm like oh shit, I have always drawn a line that they had to be older than my oldest daughter plus 10. Another is married.

 

Needless to say, I have never been really good at playing the game since I have always been married, I'm considering being upfront and asking, but the HR dangers of that scare the shit out of me at this point, so I haven't.

 

Being really single for the first time really scares the shit out of me. Easier to deal with the dog and my work schedule at this point.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Ya got my sympathy, I like a lot of people hung on to a dying relationship, knowing what it's like as a single male held me back for several years.

 

... And as I said, the swinging community is very different here. Slam bam thank ya' ma-am, which isn't really my style.

 

 

For some it is. Others develop friendships or relationships.

 

 

I have always drawn a line that they had to be older than my oldest daughter plus 10.

 

Well you know yourself. Having connected to or been in relationships with women half my age or younger, in a variety of ways including sexually, I have to say it not a total waste to pursue opportunities & interest from that direction. Making yourself Others with respect and equality despite age changes the dynamic. Tho at age 61 you will still look odd with a 24 y/o on your arm.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Thought I would stop by and give an update. I have been on SLS again over the last few months. Unfortunately the swinger clubs are a difficult nut to crack. You have to be sponsored by a couple to even get in to the club, but meeting couples outside of the club are a challenge as well. Looking at the desires of the couples in my area, I don't really fit into the mix primarily because of my age, I'm too old for most. Hell, the only contact I have had is a Bi male wanting to hook up. Passed on that...

 

But I found a local bar and will see what the vibe is. My playdar is pretty good and there is just a different vibe to swingers.

 

So I'm just biding my time. I might take a ride up to Raleigh for a meet-n-greet, but I hate going up there at night. Just being patient and biding my time...

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Thought I would stop by and give an update. I have been on SLS again over the last few months. Unfortunately the swinger clubs are a difficult nut to crack. You have to be sponsored by a couple to even get in to the club, but meeting couples outside of the club are a challenge as well. Looking at the desires of the couples in my area, I don't really fit into the mix primarily because of my age, I'm too old for most. Hell, the only contact I have had is a Bi male wanting to hook up. Passed on that...

 

But I found a local bar and will see what the vibe is. My playdar is pretty good and there is just a different vibe to swingers.

 

So I'm just biding my time. I might take a ride up to Raleigh for a meet-n-greet, but I hate going up there at night. Just being patient and biding my time...

 

Patience & working at it as netted me five single women & a couple threesomes. Some of the people I've played with were duds, others have been really interesting & fun, off as well as on the bed.

[Alura 2,774]

I remember you, Nc_md couple. Glad to have you back!

[ncmd_couple 597]

Alura,

 

How have you been doing?

[ncmd_couple 597]

I thought I would check in. I have had contact with a couple of women through SLS. Nothing has come of that as of yet. I'm just taking my time, but I wish I didn't have to work Friday night, singles night at the local club.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Well, had to update my profile on SLS today, the ticker rolled over 58 yesterday. On the plus side, I had a great birthday. I found a new Bi hopefully single female close to me on there this morning. I reached out to her, I guess I will find out if there is any interest on her part.

[ncmd_couple 597]

Well, for some reason I came back to visit here. I guess I miss the open discussions and the open lifestyle of swinging whether it ends up in bed or not. Life has dealt me a number of challenges over the last few years, separation, then divorce, loss of job and out of work for two years. But on the plus side, I'm back to work and have re-married. And things are looking up. My new wife is willing to visit the Cottage in PA, a great club, but it is a long way away and it has been years since I have been there and I'm sure it has changed.

 

Part of the problem is that the attitude of males in swinger couples in NC are really different than they were in the NE when I was active years ago. They are aggressive. We had a party at the house back in July, one couple there I was pretty sure were swingers from the wife that we have known for a few years. After the party, which was a family event, he grabbed my wife and tried to stuff his tongue down her throat, which obviously put her off. When she told me, I'm like what the fuck! Same thing happened with my ex-wife with out first encounter with swingers in NC. And that ended our swinging here.

 

I'm 60 now, I enjoyed the openess, the relaxed atmosphere, The respect for others. It seems that what drew me to swinging has been lost. Back then, if we wound up in bed, it was for the mutual enjoyment, now.....

 

I guess I just miss how it used to be...

[njbm 2,868]

Sounds like you are just with the wrong people. How about a long weekend at Paradise Lakes resort near Tampa?

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

This has gone from a single male swinger thread to a married maybe swinger couple. All I can say i don't get impatient and search around for people who are respectful and sensitive.

[ncmd_couple 597]

This has gone from a single male swinger thread to a married maybe swinger couple. All I can say i don't get impatient and search around for people who are respectful and sensitive.

 

Well, three years have passed and there have been a lot changes in my life and I decided that it would make more sense if I kept the post in the original thread. I guess I am more disappointed that the guy would be an ass out of the gate like that at a family event. I'm thinking about talking to his wife as I used to work with her and know her a lot better.