Do you play on the first meeting?

[njbm 2,932]

We meet people for dinner that we meet on SLS. We usually do not play at the first meeting. We like to discuss it and it's hard to do with the other couple there. What do others do?

[Brad145 58]

We meet couples at clubs for the most part, and yes we play at first meeting.

[Ebonylehigh 254]

We prefer to meet couples for apps/drinks and then go play if we click. We have done the initial meet only dates before and sometimes it sucks to do that and have a lousy play experience at the next meet up. Two nights wasted instead of one. Ugh hate to be so blunt but it has happened. To discuss a quick bathroom break is all we need. But honestly we have it down to just a look at this point oh and a wink.

[Fundamental Law 2,940]

We plan nothing other than a drinks or dinner meeting. Our experience (your mileage may vary) is as follows.

 

1. Couples are always different than what one expects. No matter the extent of picture exchange, prior conversation, whatever--what matters is the couple across from us at the table. It's always an unknown--until it's not.

 

2. It's not just the appearance. Interpersonal dynamics matter, meaning how they treat each other, us, the staff. We like to observe without pressure or expectation. Yes, it's an interview of sorts.

 

So far, nothing precludes first date play. However...

 

3. There has to be authentic 4 way chemistry. That's harder for us. Maybe we overthink. We value the chance to reflect without expectations or time pressure. More often than not, it's not a fit and there is no second date. This way both couples can go their separate ways without the awkwardness of one couple thinking 'yes' and the other 'no' and both having their evenings not go as expected albeit for different reasons.

 

We're just not comfortable with a nod and a wink.

[njbm 2,932]

When we are at a party, club or cruise, it's go time, so we will play at first meeting. However, a couple of times, we played after dinner or drinks and never really discussed it. Often have crummy get together.

[njbm 2,932]

Sometimes we go to a house party or hotel party and have an evening that we consider disappointing. Then a couple that we met but didn't play with contacts us after the party and we have a fun get together, thus rendering the party a success. Delayed fuse success! Hi to Ebonylehigh; this is how we met!

[JandKinBoise 862]

We always have the plan of meeting first, talking about it then setting a date. We have found it best though, to be ready to play. More than once, we knew we were going to go thru with it and were glad we had a plan.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

We typically don't play on the first date...until we do, which has happened several times and worked out well. Maybe the most accurate was of saying it is we don't have expectations or a plan to make play happen on the first date, but if the stars come into alignment on their own, we don't resist that.

[N&G 207]

We look for people who are willing to play on the first meeting. We tend to avoid profiles that say otherwise. Over the years we've found that if we don't play on the first date we probably will never play. One of the good things about house or hotel parties is that they either want to play or they don't. If they aren't interested there are other people to ask.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

Only when we play on the first date.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

The majority of the time, we play on the first meet. Most of those times were at a party or club. Sometimes, we'll meet a couple at a party but meet up at a later time and play.

 

Since we require a sitter and we don't routinely go out right now, I think it can be a put off for other couples if we had a "no playing on the first meeting" rule when it can be hard for us to find the time for the first meeting!

 

But there isn't a right or wrong way play (or not) on the first meet. Sometimes it suits a couple better to play on the first meet and later in their life, it might work out better to have a "no play on first meeting" rule.

[asncpl 731]

We don't have a hard and fast rule of no playing at first meeting. We don't have any expectation of play at first meeting, and we tell the other couple that we "usually" don't play at first meet. But we leave the door open, and we have had experiences that we really hit it off with the other couple and we ended up playing after drinks or dinner. I think it comes down to whatever you are comfortable.

[Guest]

Yes, more so than not but most of our play has been with couples at clubs and MFM with guys that we just meet on the fly, not through pre-arranged meetings.

[Brimba 30]

Yes - always.

[bbarnsworth 2,668]

It's rare that if we play with others that it's not on the first meeting. My wife and I have subtle, non-verbal, agreed upon signals to let each other know if our interests of the night are acceptable to each other. If we agree, then we play. if not, we don't.