The transition to sex!

[Striker1374 19]

Ok so I am eternally great full for all the great advice I'm getting here so I'm just going to keep firing away with questions I have. This is in regards to that awkward time period of we have had a couple drinks and chatted for a bit. I'm looking at her she's looking at me he's looking at her. How does the situation go from chatting to playing?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Keep the questions coming, that's why we are here

 

Maybe some more details would help. Are you talking like making the transition from somewhere public like a bar to somewhere more private? Or do you mean that you are already somewhere private and then how do you transition from the social to the sexual? Is this meeting occurring when all parties have a pretty good understanding there will probably be play involved, or is this the scenario where it's a face to face meet that turns out really well and all lights turn green at that point?

[Striker1374 19]

Hmmm. The situation I'm referring to is we are some place private and play is on the table. However you brought up a situation I had not thought about. We are meeting the guy at a local wing place for a drink. We have already talks about what we want and don't want. So if things go well how do we take it home?

[kikonkrome 844]

Well basically you need to just ask...'Do you want to go play?'...'Should we go somewhere private?'...usually you get some awkward silences which tell you it's time. Especially if they are sitting through an awkward conversation, that means they are interested.

 

Another favorite is 'Hey I know this is awkward, but should we go play?'.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Like Kikon said, if you are out somewhere public, you can usually kind of sense when it's time to move on to somewhere else or else say your good-nights. Are you guys doing the hosting? If so, the ball will kind of be in your court to say "would you like to come back to the house/room for a drink?"

 

Once that bridge has been crossed, then it is in fact time for a drink, even if it ends up sitting on the table with only a few sips gone and the ice melting Fix a drink, go out on the deck, or some other kind of ice-breaker. Make small talk, she can stand/sit next to him, or else start off a little ways away and then move closer to him. A hand casually rested on the shoulder or thigh, sitting close with thighs touching, a head leaned in close during a laugh, etc. Mrs. cplnuswing is really good at this, as are most women.

 

When she is sending signals, nature will take its course. If he is still fairly new at this, he may be so out of sorts that he's totally oblivious to subtlety though (been there, done that myself) so she just needs to progressively ramp it up until his light bulb comes on since us guys can be kind of slow on the uptake there sometimes.

 

Some making out could go on there for a little bit, then you or her needs to say "how about we go back to the bedroom?" Go to the bedroom, get naked, and have fun

[Alura 2,775]

Don't ask a question that can be answered with 'yes' or 'no.' "How do y'all feel about going back to our place and playing?"

[Tahoecple 319]

First, that is a great question. As you probably have already figured out the first stage is for you and your wife to be on the same page. You two need to be together on what your plans are for the night. I know from experience that if you have convinced your wife to join you in meeting another couple, just to have drinks or dinner and nothing more, it makes it awkward to go from there to playing. If you are meeting another couple for drinks or dinner and there is a play date on the table you first want to make sure that the wife is on board with that plan.

 

When we meet a new couple, we both go into the meet with no expectations and just improvise sort to speak. It’s also no big secret that men have a much lower threshold in requirements for playmates than women. For this reason, my wife always has the veto vote for what happens or doesn’t happen. What we have done is that we came up with some “go, no go” comments. If the wife excused herself to call home to check on one of the kids, it means we will be going home after dinner alone.

 

Much of how you handle taking it to the play stage comes from how you setup the get together in the first place. If you found this couple on a swinger’s site, then it would be safe to say that you both know what you are there for. If you and your wife are both on board to taking it to the play stage, we have found that the direct approach works best. Remember you are there to find playmates so at some point during the evening you should have broached that subject with them if there was an attraction. You can broach the subject with, how long have you two been into this, or what are you two into, just something to get the conversation going in that direction.

 

Another consideration is how experienced the other couple is. If they are new to this, you might suggest going dancing. If they are experienced, you might just tell them how much you have enjoyed meeting them and ask them if they would be interested in going back to your place or room. I wouldn’t be too graphic, but you need to express both of your willingness and interest in taking this to the next level, if they are, if you want to play with them.

 

Most important is to just be yourself, be open and honest about what you are there for. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you are there for. Let the other couple know that you are interested in them, if you are. Let them know that both of you are interested in playing with them, if not tonight maybe sometime in the near future. Don’t be pushy, express your interest and if they are interested, they will have to make the next move. Don’t be afraid of rejection, you will click with some couples, and you won’t click with some couples. If it doesn’t click, wish them well and continue your search. If it does click, have fun.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

 

There have been more than a few first meetings where it seems like everyone is afraid to talk about sex. The big elephant in the room and it is just avoided. Don't be afraid to just break the ice and come out and say something...after all, it's what you're here for.