What does "creepy" mean to you?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

When it comes to other people, especially swingers, what makes someone "creepy"? It occurred to me this is one of those terms that we all probably use, as in "don't be that creepy guy/girl people always avoid", but defining that exact line where something or someone goes from not creepy to creepy is hard to put your finger on.

 

To us, it's kind of one of those "I'll know it when I see it" things. I can't say that we have really run into anyone or anything in swinging that was so unsettling it would have totally and instantly creeped us out. Some occasional poor manners or behavior, yes, but that's not really the same as creepy. In general though, when I get that feeling, accurate or not, that someone is just playing by different rules in their head than you and rest of society are, that's uncomfortable and can be creepy. Put another way, creepy = unpredictable.

 

What's creepy to you, and what are some times you have experienced it in swinging?

[two4youinswva 3,068]

If you're attracted to the person that is dropping sexual innuendos in your direction: Sexy

If you're NOT attracted to the person that is dropping sexual innuendos in your direction: Creepy

 

Kind of like how when you're wealthy, "weird" is spelled "eccentric".

 

Beyond that, I agree 100% that Unpredictable=Creepy

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Yeah, it's all in the eye of the beholder I guess. I got thinking further about my own post where I said "playing by different rules in their head than you and rest of society are", and it occurred to me that we as swingers are playing by different rules than most of society, so does that make us all creepy? We would all say absolutely not, but not sure others would agree...that eye of the beholder thing again. It makes you wonder how often you let misunderstood = creepy in your own mind.

[kikonkrome 844]

Well there's creepy and they are hitting on you, and there's creepy and they are at the same party as you.

 

Creepy and they are hitting on you, happens all the time, so you give them the brush off. They get it and move on. I mean eventually you are going to be that 'creepy' couple. The ones that tried to chat up the couple that wasn't interested and bailed and moved on. Hey I would rather us be the shark than the sheep.

 

Creepy and just at the same party as you? You just avoid. I am going to say it, the 20 year old slurring her words prostitutes with the 70 year guy. Should we call the cops? Kinda brings down the party.

[ZoDee 81]

MrsZ's opinion is that it's that lustful look that some men give that says "I just want to jump your bones".

 

Regardless of situation and any mutual interest or forms of attraction.

[Guest bogiedave]

MrsZ's opinion is that it's that lustful look that some men give that says "I just want to jump your bones".

 

Regardless of situation and any mutual interest or forms of attraction.

 

 

 

That's interesting, because we both much prefer getting that lustful look from people we are attracted to to not getting it. I have to admit, I don't get it nearly as often as she does. But she loves it.

 

Creepy seems to have a lot to do with bad haircuts, to me. She says it's the guy who looks like a cross between a pedophile and a serial killer. Not that they all look alike, or anything, but there is a vibe...

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Creepy

 

Playing in a room with a window with another couple. Walk out and this single guy leers at us and says, "Thank you ladies..."

 

In a hot tub with a man, he is kissing me etc, He says, "Ahh, it's so good not to be cheating."

 

From a club review I wrote: Unfortunately, the CSG (creepy single guy) factor is still very present at the club. And, man are there some creepers! This is coming from someone who likes single guys and plays mfm from time to time. The guys are leaning up against the back wall leering at the scene. It's just off-putting. At one point when I was walking past by myself, one guy said (in the red-ridinghood wolf voice), "How are you young lady?" Now, I'm fucking forty years old! I'm fine with someone saying hello and introducing themselves, just don't be creepy about it.

[econobiker 165]

Having attended swing clubs and then also having been a "semi-open" houseparty co-host for many years, myself and the host couple's husband several times had to be the "voices of reason" to a couple men over that time period.

 

"creepy" to me is mainly any guy not understanding that "no means no" from just talking to a lady who doesn't like him all the way to the lady stopping a specific sex act during a scene.

 

But to me it's also someone (mostly F) having to get hammered drunk in order to "open up enough" to swing, it's also a man or woman not treating someone else's property with respect that you know they understand (like a guy with an immaculately clean car who spills a drink on the floor of the house but doesn't even try to clean it up).

 

Maybe I'm inured to leering voyeurs watching me and a woman together because our parties only had one or two closed rooms in the last couple of years, prior to that all rooms were open. And I am an exhibitionist with swinging.

[Tabota 40]

Creepy to me is the person (I've seen both males and females doing this) that sit at a party or in a club, off to the side by themselves, nursing a drink, watching the crowd but not interacting at all. Does not approach anyone, doesn't talk to the bartender, just gets the drink and goes and sits out of the way but in full view of the room, surveying. That gives me the 'creepy person looking for it's next mark' vibe.

As well, the overachiever.... dances too hard, gets in everyone's face on the dance floor, bumps 'inadvertently' into others, puts a hand on another persons shoulder or back perhaps for a second too long. Doesn't seem overly creepy, til you see them do it repeatedly, to many different people. The last guy I saw doing this, looked like he was enjoying feeling the ladies bra straps thru their shirt. Made my skin crawl. Had the staff watch him, and he was gone in under 30 minutes, so what I saw wasnt my own hang up. The owner thought he was creepy too.

[lcmim 1,083]

Creepy to me is the person (I've seen both males and females doing this) that sit at a party or in a club, off to the side by themselves, nursing a drink, watching the crowd but not interacting at all. Does not approach anyone, doesn't talk to the bartender, just gets the drink and goes and sits out of the way but in full view of the room, surveying.

 

It is also possible that they are intimidated by their own fears. I am thinking in terms of the guys and girls in high school who would go to the dance and stand by the wall, wondering what was wrong with them that they couldn't have fun and dance, when all they really needed to do was screw up enough nerve to ask one of the others standing at the wall , waiting, for a dance.

 

I like to go and initiate conversations with these people, without any intent of going farther. Once the ice is broken the river starts to flow.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

...living down by the river, in a van.

 

(Matt Foley/SNL reference...if you don't get it, please look it up)