Men, how long is your refractory period?

[sunbuckus 3,567]

There are men who are "one and done" for the night and others who can go a few times a night. I thought it would be interesting to hear the different refractory periods of the men here. Or, perhaps you were one but then switched to the other? Maybe you do certain exercises to help decrease your refractory period?

 

When we first dated, Mr. Sun was able to go a few times in the same night but now he's usually a one and done.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

When we first dated, Mr. Sun was able to go a few times in the same night but now he's usually a one and done.

 

That is me as well. Used to be a "Gimme 5 minutes and I'll be ready again" guy. These days, not so much. :/

[sunbuckus 3,567]

That is me as well. Used to be a "Gimme 5 minutes and I'll be ready again" guy. These days, not so much. :/

 

At least you know you're not alone.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Count me as a member of the club too. If things are really over the top, I could be ready to go again within the hour, but once and done is the norm now. That's if I orgasm. Now if I don't, then that's a different story, I can go off and on for a good while until tiredness finally kicks in.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

This is normal for the aging male. Erections themselves are less rigid and the interval between ejaculation and the next erection gets prolonged. A great deal depends on rest, stimulation and sobriety. A great deal also depends on blood flow--vascular fitness and dilators such as Viagra. Pacing oneself and enjoying sexuality beyond intercourse are useful strategies.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . Maybe you do certain exercises to help decrease your refractory period?

No exercises of which I know. But these elements help:

 

* Use it or loose it. But don't overuse. Obstain from sex on the day before and on the day of any planned "big event".

 

* Stay away from beer, wine, and distilled stuff.

 

* Have a nice, quiet nap on the afternoon before a planned evening event.

 

I am not able to do as many as I once did but even at my age, by following this regimen, the curtain rises on the second act about a half hour after the curtain lowers on the first act.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

This is normal for the aging male. Erections themselves are less rigid and the interval between ejaculation and the next erection gets prolonged. A great deal depends on rest, stimulation and sobriety. A great deal also depends on blood flow--vascular fitness and dilators such as Viagra. Pacing oneself and enjoying sexuality beyond intercourse are useful strategies.

 

One thing that has been encouraging (or whistling past the graveyard waiting for the other shoe to drop), is although there has been a noticeable difference in refractory time, the erections are just as hard, or if Mrs cplnuswing is to be believed, even bigger and harder, and we've been together a long time so she has quite a bit of experience with this particular subject I'm not sure how that could be since the way it feels to me, any harder and it would have burst and that was true at 20, 30, 40, and now too. Not sure what is going on there because nothing else has really changed. If anything I'm less fit now than I was at any of those ages. I'm certainly not complaining, if that puts me a standard deviation or two off the mean in the right direction, I'll happily be there.

[love2dp 52]

Totally depends on lots of things. But the routine thing is one and done. But my ex and I would play for a long time sometimes too.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

It varies for me with the situation. Now, I am helped by the fact that I'm on testosterone therapy, and also have a little pharmaceutical help, but I can usually go more than once a night. The times after the first often take a long time to reach orgasm, but I can usually stay hard for as long as my physical endurance lasts! I'd say that, 15 to 45 minutes after orgasm, I'm ready to go again. I have, on very rare occasions where I was very excited, stayed hard after orgasm, and been able to go a second round without even pulling out!

[kikonkrome 844]

Usually a few times a night, especially in a swinging situation. Pretty regularly do the five minute break and then I am ready to go again, especially if my wife is getting off, that really turns me on.

 

My wife is pretty patient as frankly if we go the swing club, typically I can't sleep and want to do it a few more times, while she needs to sleep.

[angelkin 1,326]

I'm not a guy but I can speak for my experience with my guy...he's capable of multiple orgasms without losing his erection. If we want it again, very little refractory time is needed at all. He frequently stays hard long after his first orgasm and most often the goal is just pleasing me, but of course he gets pleasure too. We affectionately call his member "ever-ready".

[MrDiscover 802]

I'm like Angelkins partner. Is things are very exciting, I stay hard most of the times. Otherwise, I'm back in business after a quarter of an hour or so. It can take longer after the second round, however.

 

It also depends on how I come. If I come wihout an ejaculation, most times I stay hard.

[njbm 2,868]

Wow, wait till you guys hit 50!

[angelkin 1,326]

My partner is 47 and in good physical shape, let's hope he's the exception:)

[njbm 2,868]

It gets harder as time goes on and I'm not talking about the member. With ED medication, there is an improvement. And good physical condition and alcohol avoidance help. But Father Time waits for no one. Play a lot when you are young!

[njbm 2,868]

Not to be Debbie Downer, but menopause is no picnic either. Research estrogen replacement drugs such as Estrace, but be extremely careful. Many hormone replacement therapies have been abandoned due to increased cancer risk.

 

For the young and uninformed, things can get dry down there after menopause.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Not to be Debbie Downer, but menopause is no picnic either. Research estrogen replacement drugs such as Estrace, but be extremely careful. Many hormone replacement therapies have been abandoned due to increased cancer risk.

 

For the young and uninformed, things can get dry down there after menopause.

Well, now I am going to make a point of calling you Debbie Downer. Both of you.

 

So, the Mrs. and I are both over 50. And we both are doing some hormone replacement therapy, including testosterone (for both of us). We have heard of the increased cancer risk, as well as the increased heart disease risk. But we believe that our doctors are managing the therapy in such a way as to mitigate those risks. And in addition to the increase in energy and metabolism, as well as making weight loss easier, the effect on libido and performance is significant and unmistakable!

[asncpl 729]

When we first dated, Mr. Sun was able to go a few times in the same night but now he's usually a one and done.

 

Count Mr. A in that club. But all is not lost because Mr. A discovers the power of edging. Nowadays he does all he can not to have an orgasm but simply edging for a few times. He told me his ideal is about 5 times, and the result is that his orgasm will be intense and multiple.

[njbm 2,868]

We've discussed this with you guys (Couple in Md) in person. Younger players should know that these options are available. We did not know about them two years ago. But they do have to "read the warning label."

With that, hope to play as long as possible.

[njbm 2,868]

Edging? Going in lightly and briefly?

[Baconheads 431]

I'm not a guy but I can speak for my experience with my guy...he's capable of multiple orgasms without losing his erection. If we want it again, very little refractory time is needed at all. He frequently stays hard long after his first orgasm and most often the goal is just pleasing me, but of course he gets pleasure too. We affectionately call his member "ever-ready".

 

I was like this in college. Now, at 55, not so much although nowadays I stay hard a lot longer before I come. She comes first as they say. And second, third and fourth!

 

We also do bioidentical hormone replacement. I do thyroid, testosterone and some stuff called DHEA. Not only does it give my Johnson a new lease on life, but it has made me more excited about my career and life in general. Testosterone therapy does not increase heart disease risk, it reduces it. A metabolite of testosterone is estrogen, which is protective of the heart and actually lowers cholesterol. My cholesterol went from 220 to 158, along with red yeast rice ( a natural statin blend).

 

The levels of hormones are titrated using blood tests. I had in the beginning a normal testosterone level for a 50's male. Who wants that?!! Now Ii have the levels of a 30 year old. One side effect: I wake up every morning with this massive boner and it's hard to pee. Oh, well, I just sit down on the head and push it down so I don't make a mess. the things we have to deal with! Sheesh!

[econobiker 165]

My refractory period is basically 1 day, but......

I put out volume if I have a "bellowing like a bull from the depths of my body" orgasm . This always resulted in a very messy pussy for Red, with large cream pie outflow upon my withdrawing. Her vagina is tighter ,more narrow and more shallow than most all of my other partners (and ex-wife) so it is like "a perfect storm" for a cream pie mess. This got to be so messy and uncomfortable for her that we now use condoms for her comfort and ease of clean up.

 

Among my swing partners, I have had several experienced fellatrixs gag on the volume because they thought that my precum ejaculate was actually the main event. The ladies were already busy swallowing away when the volume of my actual orgasm hit their mouths/throats and shocked them to the point of gagging. Some of the ladies were troopers by finishing up by swallowing it all while others not so discretely have spit into a paper towel/tissues/ wipes...

 

Bring your rain coats ladies....

 

(for reference I am about an average length of 6" long- with average size testicles, not huge nor low hanging)

[Bob250 74]

A lot depends on the nature of the sex. If I'm really into my partner , the "down time" is a few minutes. During my LS experiences, I noticed that there were some women I could stay hard with, orgasm or not, but others I was "one and done". I've never failed to get it up, except once when I had a couple of cracked ribs and didn't know it. So I guess, for me , the "down time" is situational.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

When I get "that feeling", I pull out and get her into a different position. That usually is enough time for "that feeling" to go away temporarily until it returns again and the "process" starts over. Some women get frustrated by this and some women love the variety of being in different positions.

 

After a few times , "that feeling" takes longer to to come back and I've had experiences where it doesn't ever come back and I've been able to have sex with her for as long as she wants to without cumming.

 

The one position where I've been able to keep it hard after I've cum is with her on top.

 

I've also been able to go on for however long she wants to after a break after I've cum I'd say after about ten or fifteen minutes.

[machiavel55 81]

I read a very funny comment about 10 years ago on a very different board.....the post was from a man in his 60's who said:

''When I was younger I would use my watch to calculate my refractory period, nowadays I use the calendar''

[let's do it again 414]

I'm a 62 year old male and if my lady goes into 69 right after I have cum in her, I can get right back up and going again. If she doesn't 69, the it's probably an hour if she takes charge of getting it going.

[Numex 2,409]

On 1/13/2016 at 4:46 PM, sunbuckus said:

Men, how long is your refractory period?

When we first dated, Mr. Sun was able to go a few times in the same night but now he's usually a one and done.

It really depends on the situation - from immediately to the next day.  The two things that will keep me going is having a second, different willing woman to have sex with me (the expectation of a different pussy), and getting oral to get me hard again.

 

The time that I was ready to go immediately after having fucked two other women was when I saw my wife having a DP with two other men in our group.  The fact that one of the men in her wasn't me drove me crazy.  My wife presented herself sloppy to me from two other men and I wanted her more than ever.  I had a most intense orgasm in her cunt (my third in a row), but ejaculated next to nothing.  My balls ached for a day.  My wife turns me on.  After she has had sex with another guy (or couple) it turns me on even more.  I have an irresistible urge to reclaim her.  Fortunately, she always lets me.

[PeterJ 940]

Ha! I’m in my mid-70s now. Refractory period is at least an hour under the most favorable of circumstances. Of more relevance, my libido has diminished to the point that I’m not really interested in more than one sexual encounter a day. 
 

Ah, but in my younger days. 🙄😂 When I was 30 I dated for a time a professor of mine who was a certified sex therapist. She found it fascinating that early in our relationship I was able to achieve orgasm and ejaculate in her vagina and yet not lose my erection. She found reaching orgasm challenging, so it a plus not having to worry about her partner orgasming and losing his election.

 

Ten years prior, when I was 20 there was an evening I had two dates, one early and the other late. I orgasmed with the first woman five times over about three fours and then after an hour or so of rest, three times the second one. That second woman was a little pissed that I hadn’t showered between dates. Neither said anything but I suspect they were both annoyed that I was piggy and didn’t focus more than their  pleasure. I just kind of assumed if it was good for me it would be good for them.

 

Happily, about a year later I began adding Benefits to my relationship with a woman who had already been a Friend for a couple of years. In an engagement of several hours I would cum two or three times. After several of these dates she mentioned that she was also having sex with a 47-year-old colleague at work I was semi-amazed he could still fuck. "You know he can only do it once in an a night, but he does that one time really well."
 

That got my attention and at least got me thinking. But I guess it didn’t change my behavior because a few dates later, after one or two rounds, she had a talk with me.I’m paraphrasing this conversation from a half-century ago, but not by much because it was really consequential. "Look, I put you in your heaven." (She had fabulous oral skills. "Now, you should put me in mine!" For her that was achieved through attentive oral. I hadn’t really given much oral up till then, which was part of my lack of focus on my partner’s pleasure. She gave me patient guidance while I learned how to bring her to orgasm with my tongue and lips. And her orgasms were quite spectacular as it turned out. "Watch out, I’m going to cum," she said. It was a warning well heeded. I thought she was going to buck off the bed! 
 

That was my conversion experience to the Church of Pay the Fuck Attention to Your Partner’s Needs. Eventually we got married — to other people. And eventually we lost touch with one another. Despite occasional internet sleuthing I’ve never found a trace of her. I wish I could let her know how much her gentle tutorial changed my sex life. For setting me on the road to being an attentive and thoughtful lover I owe her a huge debt. And even if they don’t know it, so do those women who followed her into my bed and found the experience worthwhile. Thanks, Mary, wherever you are.

[hunterdonNJcpl 1,383]

On 1/20/2016 at 9:46 AM, Baconheads said:

We also do bioidentical hormone replacement. I do thyroid, testosterone and some stuff called DHEA...

Thank you that is very informative! Something to as my doc about.

 

My refractory period has gone down to once per day - twice if I'm lucky. My wife, on the other hand, has always been the type who can go all night long - and still is.  We like to include virile young men in our fun, but I never wanted to completely rely on them to get my wife off - which is definitely the case these days.

 

Time to look into hormone replacement.

[Billygoat 443]

Depending on age range.  Up to 40 I was that guy…at a drop of a dime, highly active and could cum, have a coffee and go again, often several times in an evening.

 

forties still more then active and a reliable go to for one on one, threesomes moresomes and group activities.  Always a pleaser and found enjoyment giving women….of most any variety lots of attention before enjoying myself.

 

Fifties still very active but noticed a change in volume and a slightly declining level of activity but still active 2-3 times over a 4-5 hour period of time.

 

Now mid sixties often two times over an evening, longer to recover after the first.  And on occasion we have a complete disconnect.  I still go out of my way to pleasure who I’m with. But on occasion….no matter how much my partner I’m with will try…..zip.  You can show a good game but you can’t play Pool with a rope.

 

Believe me we are both very active with each other.  Occasionally we have to wait til later.  But with lady friends there is the occasional no go….yet I can more then please in other ways.

 

I started to find that my fail right increased with new, first time play partners so mostly I stay with long term playmates and FWB.

 

 

[MidwestHoneys 356]

It’s possible for me to go a second time almost immediately. A third time 15-20 minutes later even if I am too tired to do much more than just let her do the work.