Need advice transitioning to swinging as a single

[junkyard38 21]

Happy New Year to one and all. Back when I was in the dating scene with benefits, I took a different approach. There were two ladies whom I had interaction with in the bedroom. When I sensed trouble of jealousy, we three had a mutual date where we sat down like civilized folks, discussing not one was better then the other, but singly they brought to the bedroom something different with new excitement. When we all realized each one had a valid point, attitudes changed and we three continued for many years. It did provide many times of great pleasure, we had threesome's with everyone getting something different out of the experience. Communication is the secret too anything even with folks for fwb. Those were the years to remember, never regret having the open and meaningful discussion.

 

Hello folks. When I answered the post things were going as we all had hoped. Well now things have changed. Of the two partners, one has gotten married, returning to her vanilla status. The second lady has moved on due to her occupation. My dilemma now is that because of my age the consensuses is go for the younger gentleman. Granted I am in the older bracket. The ladies who are willing to be fwb shun my requests.

The snow might be on the roof but the fire is not out.

 

Question is how does one go about be accepted in the younger LS. It is now getting to the point no need to even try. I am on Swing Lifestyle. On SLS things have changed. If you do not fit into their perception of a lively partner, forget him and his request. When I write to folks/ single ladies, being a gentleman and respectful makes no difference.

 

So Swingers Board, I'm open to suggestions. Granted I am somewhat isolated, but have wheels to travel. Thank you, Don.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

There are women of our age who have profiles at SLS and other such Web sites. I would also recommend that meet-n-greet events are good places to meet people of all ages.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

junkyard38, I tried to look up your profile on SLS, but didn't find it. So I'm not sure what age range you are referring to. Regardless, I have confidence that there are some possibilities for you, whatever your age. This is based on what I've seen in my area.

 

Are there any clubs or groups in your area? One thing we are doing to build some initial rapport with people before we meet them is to post, comment, and chat with them on secret Facebook groups that are affiliated with local clubs or lifestyle groups. It's another way to introduce yourself to a variety of people, in addition to the local meet and greets that SW_PA_Couple suggested.

[kikonkrome 844]

When I was single I certainly had a great time dating multiple ladies. Some where in the lifestyle (I guess), some were just FWB, some I tried having a more serious relationship with. I think you just need to get out there and not let the continuous rejection get to your head. Oh and stay in great shape.

[Guest sandraandalex]

Hello Don,

 

I wanted to write to you about your sexual goals as a 68 year old man in the LS.

 

First, in the vanilla world, the ratio of men to women in your age group, strongly favors you. It is a target rich environment. My guess is your geographic isolation may be keeping you from meeting women in your age group that would be interested you. Now, would they be interested in a LS situation, it is unlikely, but you would get to have sex within the framework they are comfortable with.

 

Second, if you're going 'younger' and with people that don't know who you are, appearances do count. At 5'11' and 245 pounds, you need to hit the gym and put yourself on a plan to perhaps at least get to 200. It won't be easy, losing weight at your age is like going to war with your body. People you know well, can often see past the weight issues, because they see you more as a person. A good thing. But when you're starting form the ground up, initial impression is everything. Oh, and as they say, check with your Doctor before starting an exercise or diet regimen.

 

That being said, if you do have extra weight, make certain your clothes fit well and are great quality. Good fitting clothes are the way an overweight person can make up for that aspect of their appearance. Proper grooming, no comb overs, good eyewear, all can help set a positive tone. Lastly, have a good set of professionally taken photos that have you look your best while not embellishing the truth for internet use.

 

Don't sell yourself short. You had an amazing arrangement and it took a lot of work to get that together. You may never have anything like that again. Be open to the 'undiscovered country' of something unique in a future relationship.

 

I'm 25, while at a house party not to long ago, I encountered a man who was 50 or so. Normally, the thought of having sex with him would unlikely occur to me. In my mind, the years were too big a bridge to cross Yet, while at the party. the longer we spoke, the subjects were everything but sex, the more the idea of sex with him sounded fun. And you know what ? It sure was. He was a great fuck.My husband,who was off with a mutual friend, did see us going at it, was surprised yet said he could tell I was having fun. That being said, he was relatively fit, groomed and a gentlemen. Weeks later, my husband Alex, told me that he had come up to him hours later and said that he never expected the sex to happen and that I had made his year. What a generous thing to say.

 

While you're older than him, but in a similar situation, if I was 45 and you 68, it might have been something to consider as well. In the right conditions. Again, don't sell yourself short.

 

Be well. Sandra.