Group dinners with swingers

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Here's a little report about what I've been up to. I'd love to hear your experiences with similar events!

 

We've been running a monthly meet and greet for almost four years so from time to time we like to change it up and do something new. I'm calling it The Dirty Dozen Meet and Eat.

 

I remember Julie talking about inviting a number of couples to dinner as a way to meet people. There is also a thing that the Do You Know George? Group does in big cities called Just for Dinner. We've done some events (photo shoots and visits to out of town clubs) with the group where we did group dinners before or after in the past and they were pretty easy to set up and people enjoyed them.

 

We decided to organize a dinner for us and 12 couples at a local independent, nice steakhouse. I also allowed for 2 singles. I just made an open invitation to our online group for meet and greet. The party filled up within 2 days so I made a waiting list. Since that time we've had 5 of the 12 couples drop off and be replaced by waiting list couples, so everyone who wanted to participate will get to.

 

We're going to be at a big table in the main part of the restaurant. Right now I can't find any restaurants that are acceptable to me (Golden Corral is not acceptable to me!) that will allow a large group in a private area to have separate checks, so a private room is not feasible. There were a couple people who only want to come if it is private, but they're not willing to put a couple thousand dollars on their credit card and neither am I.

 

The idea is that this is a way to get to know people without the loud music, drinking and dancing (which are all well and good) that are characteristic of meet and greet and swing clubs.

 

Many of the people coming already know each other pretty well. There is only one couple who are new to us and the group. So, that is kind of a bummer. But, everyone we know who is coming is wonderful. No single guys actually want to come, but one couple did protest their possible inclusion. I always include singles, so that is their problem to get over if they want to participate.

 

The dinner is this Saturday, so I will come back and let you know how it goes. In the meantime, I'd love to hear any thoughts about group dinners.

 

I've asked people to sit across the table from their spouse next to someone of the opposite sex and to try to sit next to someone new. To me that seems like the best way to get the most people conversing, but I'm not really sure.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

What a fun idea! Please let us know how it turned out. I've been wondering if we should try our hand at hosting and such so your ideas help give us ideas.

[kikonkrome 844]

I admit I am pretty fascinated about how this turns out. I agree about shouting over the loud music to try and get to know some people is really frustrating. We have done special dinners for other organizations we have joined and they are a lot of fun!

 

That's a shame about the lack of private room. You could have people pre-pay, similar to what the clubs do on a big weekend night. You do get the points when you throw down your credit card, but I would guess for a first event your idea is more prudent.

 

I look forward to hearing what happens.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

That sounds like a recipe for a great evening. I'm also looking forward to hearing how it works out.

 

Right now I can't find any restaurants that are acceptable to me (Golden Corral is not acceptable to me!)

 

But, they have that chocolate waterfall that everyone lets their kids stick their half eaten marshmallows in! What's not acceptable about that?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

If it helps or lends encouragement, my wife and I know that it can be done. While visiting friends in Florida last November, they tool us to such a monthly meeting and the method of sitting across from your S. O. was applied. It was a pizza place but a very large pizza place having really large tables that could be moved together in-line.

 

I've been watching you promote this at SwingerZoneCentral and I think it's great. Where do you get all of your energy, dear woman?

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

If only you were closer, we would come. Yes, let us know how things go...

[sunbuckus 3,569]

But, they have that chocolate waterfall that everyone lets their kids stick their half eaten marshmallows in! What's not acceptable about that?

 

Did you really have to bring up that delightful imagery??

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Did you really have to bring up that delightful imagery??

 

Sometimes my personal filter goes on vacation.

 

Back on topic: Since it's going to be in a restaurant with others, how vanilla do you think you'll need to keep the conversation?

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Sometimes my personal filter goes on vacation.

 

I hope you know I was joking with you...although, the thought of what happens with that chocolate fountain is quite disturbing.

[asncpl 730]

That's a shame about the lack of private room. You could have people pre-pay, similar to what the clubs do on a big weekend night. You do get the points when you throw down your credit card, but I would guess for a first event your idea is more prudent.

 

That's what I'm thinking too. I organized luncheons before at one of my previous jobs and with the number of people you have, restaurants may be able to give you a set price with a choice of entrees, such as fish, steaks or vegetarian, and set courses like a salad and dessert. You can collect from the attendees beforehand so you won't be out of any money.

 

My other thought is that with a big dinner party, I tend to only converse with the 2 people immediately next to me. It's hard to shout across the table. If the restaurant has a bar area, I think it's good to have people show up a little early to mingle at the bar. It allows them to talk to everyone with the help of some social lubricant.

 

Please let us know how it goes.

[Alura 2,775]

Laura and I used to host a vanilla party twice a year on Saturday night. On the same weekend, we'd have a Swingers Board Meet Up! The swingers all stayed in a local apartment community where they offered fully furnished apartments as one-night-at-a-time rentals for little more than the price of a hotel room. On Friday (and Thursday, for the enthusiastic ones) we had dinner with the swingers in local restaurants, usually about a dozen people. Husbands did not sit with their wives. The wait staff, all of whom knew Laura and me, was pretty good at sorting out "Put mine on his bill." when they took our orders. Once a waitress whispered into Laura's ear, "Is this a swingers party, Laura?" Laura simply whispered back, "Yes, Belinda."

 

Saturday night was the vanilla party, with about sixty people in attendance. The swingers, of course, were also invited. They were discrete and never caused a problem.

 

One Saturday evening, Laura and Mrs. Playmate were chatting with a long time friend of ours,"Donna," a "born-again" Christian, when Donna, asked how the two of them happened to know each other.

 

Taken aback, Mrs. Playmate replied, "I'm not sure. My husband and Mr. Alura met somewhere."

 

"It was in a book store," reminded Laura. True, an adult book store, where both were reading the 3 X 5 cards on the "Swingers Bulletin Board." Mr. Playmate pointed to a card and said, "This is ours." I pointed to another and said,"This one is ours." We read the cards and decided to go for a cup of coffee together where we made plans for dinner that evening.

 

"Oh! I remember!" added Mrs. Playmate. "They were both looking for something for their wives.". True, we were looking for a different man to fuck her.

 

I have a lot of fun memories from those parties. After Laura's death, we tried to keep up the tradition, but it just didn't work.

[midnightplayer 135]

I might be too late for this dinner but how about a set menu, a beef entree and then a fish or chicken with a set price, cash bar in a private room. A lot of restaurants will go for this. Have the participants call the restaurant and give them their credit card for the two dinners and then you are assured you are not stuck with the check. That can be worked out. Lastly in a private room there will be good quiet conversation and mingling. Give all the ladies a number 1-whatever. Good way to meet and circulate. Lastly when it time to sit down, have all the gentlemen sit down and leave a place on each side of them open; then have the lady holding the number on choose where she wants to sit and go through 2 thorough whatever number you have and let the ladies choose where they want to sit with the stipulation of not sitting next to their spouse. Just some out of the box thoughts.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I'm back to share the outcome of our first group dinner!

 

The dinner went well. We had a reservation for 7pm on a Saturday night. Most people arrived by 6:45 and were having a drink at the bar. We had 23 people total. 11 couples and one wife of a couple. One couple no showed and one cancelled that morning. We were seated at one long table in the main dining room of the restaurant. I asked the group to sit so that you were across the table from your spouse with someone of the opposite sex on both sides of you. The group accomplished this with no problem.

 

The restaurant is an independent, upscale restaurant and typically the service is very good. For whatever reason they were not prepared initially for a group our size. I had to go back to the hostess stand to ask them to bring menus! The drinks and order taking was really slow. After finishing my drink (2nd b/c I already had one in the bar) I told them they absolutely needed to bring us bread! Three couples ordered appetizers, the rest did not. Once the appetizer service began the time progression between courses was normal. No one got dessert. Because of the slow start the meal was not finished until 10:30.

 

The food was great and the company even better. We had a great time and everyone else did also. There were 2 newer couples that attended.

 

A few couples went to the local swing club after and said that worked out great.

 

The feedback we got was mostly the slow service. Some people thought we should have started earlier, I disagree. Three of the couples had an hour drive to get there. The restaurant was packed when we arrived at 6:45, but starting to clear out by 7:30. Everyone said they liked the food and had a good time and would do it again.

 

Another ?complaint was that you could only talk to the people at your end of the table. I think that is more about managing expectations since the idea is to get to know people better at a quieter event and we do have regular meet and greet every month where you talk to dozens of couples in one evening. We were able to have nice conversations with the couples on either side of us and have some playful banter with a couple next to them also. Fortunately, no one seemed to be insufferable and everyone seemed to get along well with the people near them. We were right in the middle of the table. Interestingly, one end of the table was much more silly, while the other was more serious. They all said they liked it though. We were on the silly side and instigating a bit of it.

 

I'm glad we did it the way we did. If I had people pay ahead in order to reserve a private area it would not have worked out (I have successfully done many pay ahead events in the past using paypal). For this event I created a party on swingerzonecentral with space for 26 people at least a month before the event. I took names for a waiting list because the party filled within 2 days. Of the original 13 couples, only 6 ended up at the event. 3 fill ins also cancelled and were replaced. In the end everyone on the wait list who wanted to got to attend. I sent out a confirmation email on the Monday before the dinner.

 

We also had a discussion topic on our group board for the event. There was a lot of excitement about the dinner. Some people wanted a private room. One couple who was not attending complained that I was willing to have 2 single males attend (this was specified on the invitation). We welcome singles in our group, so I had to slap them down a little bit and stand up for the guys. The funny thing is that no single guys actually wanted to attend!

 

Personally, my husband and I had a great time. This format is very much our style. We expected to spend the whole evening at dinner so we didn't worry much about the slow pace. I think next time it will be important to set that expectation in advance. We had a really fun time with the people near us at the table.

 

So that's the long story of a long dinner! If you have any questions, just ask. We are going to do it again at another restaurant at the end of April.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Thanks for the great update, funcouple!! How do you find the energy and time to set up these wonderful swing events? Also, I still wish we lived closer to you guys!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Was your group dinner on a weekday evening?

[cplnuswing 4,713]

That sounds like a really good evening! Great job on the planning too, but no surprise there

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Wish we could have come. Just a thought: a buffet since that encourages people to mingle more (?). Maybe instead of one big table, several smaller tables and have people switch tables as the meal progresses...just trying to think of ways to have more mingling.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

It was a Saturday night.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I thought I would update this since we hosted our second dinner a few weeks ago.

 

I chose a different independent restaurant and they had a private room without a charge or insisting on all one check! I had to guarantee $400, but didn't need to hold it on my credit card, which was no problem. There was space for 24 people, we had 21 show.

 

This time we had a different group with only a few from the last dinner due to schedules, so that was nice to mix it up. We did have one single gentleman, and as I told detractors previously, he was perfectly capable of making conversation and using appropriate table manners (some people in my group were mad that I would allow singles to participate).

 

I worked with the restaurant ahead of time to have a limited menu. There were 2 soups, 2 salads and 4 entree choices, full bar and dessert. This helped the flow of the meal a lot. It was still a long dinner 7pm - 10 or 10:30, but we had a great time.

 

The room had a door so we could say whatever we wanted, and it was a bit more risque joking. The other nice thing was that we were able to do an introduction time at the start. After everyone got drinks, I had each person say their name, partner's name, screen name and make a toast or tell something they were excited about. I think that helped to promote a bit more cross table talk throughout the evening.

 

I believe that 3 couples went to the swing club after. Everyone seemed to have a good time. The food and service were great.

 

We plan to do another dinner in August before taking the group to a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

A really good plan! Offering a limited menu and having a private room solves two of the problems that my wife and I have seen at group dinners. Having a single check solves a problem that many restaurants are likely top encounter and I can understand how it would get everybody out the door more quickly when the dinner comes to its conclusion.