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This is not the first time this has happened to us but we are never sure how to handle it. We are having a drink at a restaraunt bar waiting for our table and this couple starts chatting us up. They weren't bad looking but we both got the feeling they were swingers looking to pick us up. We were close to home so we let it go because we were afraid maybe we know them from somewhere else (like kids school). Very frustrating to not be able to know if someone is a swinger without asking them (which we will never do). Any ideas?

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We are a pretty outgoing couple and talk to other people and other couples all the time. Just because ourselves and a new couple are laughing and joking I never expected them to swing.

 

That being said we have had some moments that I thought got flirty. However we were never directly asked.

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If we had been away from our home base I might have been more inquisitive but as I mentioned I was afraid perhaps our kids were in school together, or some other possible connection too close to home. Would be nice to have something to wear so we could know. I will have to investigate.

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First time softswing occurred with another couple, we a couple hours from our homes at a town half way between and were chatted up by another couple while waiting for a table. We ended up at a table for 4 instead of two tables for two. The girls set a date to meet a couple weeks later to meet. Very hot, ended up getting some wine and going and getting a motel room to hangout at. Ended up watching them have sex and them watching us...... It was a first for both couples.

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We will get dressed up, a little sexy for a vanilla night or a for the two of us night. If we see someone similarly dressed, we will say hi, perhaps compliment them just to make them feel good. On the other hand, we have had couples hit on us. Funny thing is we had one couple be rather friendly at a nice bar where we stopped before going to a couple club a few miles away. And then, we saw them later at the club...It was good that we had all been friendly.

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I did some research last night and found swinger jewelry which I have actually seen before but had no idea that's what it is! I bought it for my s.o. and myself and we will see! It's called Partners id. Anybody have their stuff?

 

Chiccouplexx we also stopped for a drink at a bar once and saw a couple we thought were attractive. They ended up at our swing club later that night! We did not have an opportunity to speak with them at the bar but we spoke at the club. It made me think our "swingdar" is accurate.

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Did you try the secret swingers handshake? Neither of us had ever heard (or until you mentioned it) seen of the partners ID. You could have hit us with it and we wouldn't have known what it meant.

 

When you are on this side of the (swingers) fence, it's easy to mistake 'very friendly' for 'swingers' or a 'pick up'. With 'swingers' being 5% (or less) and most people being friendly, most likely they are just friendly, outgoing people. Still, never hurts to be nice.

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I agree that usually people are just being friendly but because we are swingers we naturally think it could be more. I like the idea of jewelry! We ordered it so if you see us out with it you will know! We are leaving for Temptations in March and thought it would be good to have it.

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"Swinger jewelry" is out there but I would bet lots of money that the majority of swingers don't meet with other swingers just because they were wearing "swinger jewelry". Swingers meet other swingers in places where they congregate--swinger meet and greets, swinger clubs, swinger house parties, swinger hotel take-overs, swinger cruises, etc.

 

Unless a majority of swingers are willing to wear a shirt that says, "I'm a swinger! Are you??" then I can't see swingers hooking up in vanilla places on a regular basis.

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We spend a fair amount of time in our local swing club but we get excited by chance encounters while we are out and about. We visit his family twice a year and are always hoping to find something while there. The jewelry we found is very nice and there's no way anyone who's not a swinger would ever know it's swinger jewelry. We will let you know if we have success with it. We think it's a great idea.

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We have heard the thing about wearing a black ring on the right hand being a signal that you are a swinger. Just for grins, we got ourselves a couple of black rings. We have worn them while out and about numerous times, and someone has noticed the "secret swinger symbol" exactly one time. That was when we were at the rooftop hot tub, naked as jaybirds (except for our black swingers rings, of course!), at a swinger-friendly resort in Cancun!

 

We do enjoy speculating about whether people we see at restaurants, the mall, etc., are swingers. But we have not yet been hit on in a vanilla setting. We need to wear those rings out to the mall!

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We always laugh about that ring because my husband's uncle wore a black wedding band and trust me he was no swinger.

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Try throwing swinger specific terms like 'vanilla', 'play' and 'unicorn'into the conversation. Taken on their own, their alternative context is probably usually lost on non-swingers, but a swinger will quickly pick up on the hidden meaning. That's something that I plan on doing should we ever run into this.

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We met this nice couple that seemed to be testing the limits of our acceptability to swinging while in a pool at a Florida resort. My nipples and hubby's erection seemed to give away our interest. But that was also evident with the other couple.

 

Of course, being at a nudist resort caught in a very clear water of the shallow end gave all of us visibility. We agreed to let the guys calm down so we could walk to their RV so we could fuck our brains out.

 

Poor guys only went partially down as we left and almost went fully erect as our hostess announced that's ours. it was a great 1970's one afternoon fuck fest with that couple. Never happen from a restaurant encounter as it really was my hubby's reaction by sporting an erection at the tone of questions that was first noticed.

 

Yeah, we have both been aroused from "some" restaurant conversations, but we really couldn't detect physical manifestations of reciprocal sensations of the other couples.

 

So, we just go home with wet precum underwear and then fantasize about the evening.

 

Jump forward many decades later and living in a VERY small community, we no longer even consider the random chance to explore. We have become attentive to the subtle ness that comes out of conversations to "sense" if their is an interest. Amazingly, there certainly are.

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The biggest problem with swinger jewelry is that it usually isn't that hard to understand the meaning...which means that anyone seeing it can understand the meaning.

 

It isn't very subtle and really doesn't protect your anonymity (which most swingers would rather protect).

 

Even if there WAS something, there's still the problem of making all the other swingers aware of this as a universal symbol for swingers. I guess we could just include it in the 'swingers training manual'...but then someone would need to write that as well. It seems like the 'black ring, right hand' has been promoted by more than a few people and websites, but what if you are just someone who likes wearing a black ring? I just don't know of a good way to make all the swingers aware without the general public also knowing and that kind of defeats the purpose.

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From what we can see, this company is doing pretty well with it. It's on SDC and Kasidie and maybe other places too. I don't see why people would think it's swinger jewelry, there's really nothing about it that would tell people. Like I said, we ordered it and will be getting it tomorrow! We will test it out and let you know! We found it on this website if you want to check it out. It would be awesome if someone could make this work! Swingers Jewelry? Jewelry for swingers and everyone else

 

Has anyone been to Temptations? Did we make a mistake and should be going to Desire?

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Did we make a mistake and should be going to Desire?

The answer to that question really depends on what you are looking to get out of the experience. Temptation is, if I recall, topless-optional on the beach. But I don't think it's particularly known as a lifestyle-friendly resort, and I'm not aware of any opportunities for sex out in the open, if that's something you were looking for. The two Desire resorts near Cancun are clothing-optional, 100% naked-like, for men and women both. And they are lifestyle-friendly (with certain places where "public" sex is allowed), though I don't think there's particularly any pressure to do swinger-ey stuff there. As a matter of fact, people who are active swingers might find Desire (particularly Desire Pearl, from what we've heard- we've only been to Desire Riviera Maya) to be a little sleepy, play-wise. Of course, that depends entirely on the crowd who is there on a particular day. If you want the most swinger-friendly experience, enforced total nakedness in some places, and numerous places to have sex out in the open, then Hedonism II is the place for you!

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We have been to Hedo and found tons of nudists there. It was hard to know who was a swinger! We wanted to try something different but now I'm not sure...

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MarniJohn said:
We have been to Hedo and found tons of nudists there. It was hard to know who was a swinger! We wanted to try something different but now I'm not sure...

Another option for you might be a swinger cruise. We did the Bliss Cruise last November/December, and we had a blast! Check out a review of the cruise that I wrote up Bliss Cruise 2015 Review

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There are two desires correct? Which one do you think is better for play time?

We've only been to Desire Riviera Maya. But I can tell you that, from the reports of several people we met who had switched resorts in mid-vacation, Desire Pearl often has a more "sleepy" play vibe than RM has. And we've heard that the average age runs a little higher at Pearl than at RM. Of course that is always dependent on the particular crowd on a given day, and your mileage may vary.

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We've never been to Pearl but heard that since it is 'in town' you can't expose any skin on the beach. That's more than enough reason for us not to go there. Also, most everyone we've talked to that has been to Cancun have gone to Rivera Maya...not one person has ever said that they have been to Pearl. Since we always go to Rivera Maya, we would recommend there. I don't see how Pearl could be any better...

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We were at Desire Pearl in August 2014, and total nudity was allowed and accepted on the beach. There are large signs at each end of the beach warning passers-by of what they might see. It made for some great entertainment watching people stroll through. Some locked their eyes straight ahead, others gawked a little more. Security kept people from loitering though, do that was good.

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Just to follow up we did go to Temptations and although it was nice we ended up switching over to Desire. We got lucky that someone left early so a room opened while we were still there. It was beautiful and we had so much fun! As I mentioned we bought lifestyle jewelry and we did wear it. People did know what it was and that made it even more fun! I have since worn my necklace in public and other than a compliment nobody has asked me what it is or seemd to think it meant something. It would be great to see everyone on the same page with this concept. The website is swingerjewelry.net

 

Next we would like to take a lifestyle cruise. Someone mentioned Bliss. Are there others?

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Just to follow up we did go to Temptations and although it was nice we ended up switching over to Desire. We got lucky that someone left early so a room opened while we were still there. It was beautiful and we had so much fun! As I mentioned we bought lifestyle jewelry and we did wear it. People did know what it was and that made it even more fun! I have since worn my necklace in public and other than a compliment nobody has asked me what it is or seemd to think it meant something. It would be great to see everyone on the same page with this concept. The website is swingerjewelry.net

 

Next we would like to take a lifestyle cruise. Someone mentioned Bliss. Are there others?

 

I think the problem with any sort of swinger jewelry, or any other identifiers, is that if it does take off, then people will know what it means. Sure, right now, no vanilla people ask what it is, but if all the sudden all swingers started wearing it, which I believe is estimated at 5% of the population, vanilla people would notice and start looking for it, then find out what it is, then they know about you. Of course, you could always play dumb at that point and say it's just something you saw and thought looked cool, but still, not something I would ever consider wearing.

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MarniJohn said:
If we had been away from our home base I might have been more inquisitive but as I mentioned I was afraid perhaps our kids were in school together, or some other possible connection too close to home. Would be nice to have something to wear so we could know. I will have to investigate.

 

We actually met a couple at the Tulsa Ballet. Our kids were in the high school band, knew each other, their kids knew us, and we knew their kids, but the parents didn't recognize each other. They became close (so to speak) for years.

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MarniJohn said:
Next we would like to take a lifestyle cruise. Someone mentioned Bliss. Are there others?

We were on the Bliss Cruise, and it was fantastic! And yes, there are other lifestyle cruises. The Bliss Cruise is arranged by an outfit called Topless Travel, but there is another adult travel business called Couples Cruise that often runs lifestyle cruises. They are running an eastern Carribean cruise next month on the MSC Divina! I believe this is a full-ship swinger takeover, like the Bliss Cruise was.

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If you are looking to play, the cruise was easiest. We thought Desire RM had more play activity than Pearl. It may be luck of the draw for who showed up that week.

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We would love to meet a vanilla couple randomly in a non swingers place and end-up having sex with them. We love the idea and we find it so erotic. But the reality makes it very difficult (never actually happen to us). I feel that, even if both parts of that couple would be turned on by the idea I don't think they would 'do it'. Probably because they would even be too scared to show interest in front of their lover. I believe for many vanilla couples, the fantasy is enough and the maximum they would go.

 

and that is... very sad :(

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