What does your play partner do differently in bed?

[findinganswers 369]

Having sex with someone new is one of the reasons we swing. What does your swing partners do that is different than what your SO doesn't? If you enjoy that new thing, do you tell your SO?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I'll answer your second question. I generally say nothing to my wife about what a playmate does differently.

 

1. She has never expressed an interest.

2. I have an intuitive feeling that saying to my wife that so-and-so performs a particular sex act better than she would surface some future day as trouble.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

The Mrs. and I definitely tell each other all about what we've done during our play with others after we are finished. Giving the "full report" afterwards is one of the habits we've developed. It helps to reaffirm, each time we play with others, that we have nothing to hide and want to share the experience, even if we've played in separate rooms or even on separate play dates. And by the way, we make it a point to share the details, whether we enjoyed the experience or not- there's a lesson to be learned either way!

 

The Mrs. told me about an encounter at a house party where she gave a guy oral- to completion... in her mouth. It was a huge turn-on to hear about that, though I confess that I felt a little... jealous?... that she had never done that with me. This was pretty early in our swinging career, and we had not yet encountered a situation like that. But she gave a repeat performance, just for me, soon after that. And I have to say it was a very intense and satisfying experience!

 

I have also been telling the Mrs. about some experimentation I have been doing with a single woman I have had some solo play dates with. The woman and I have messed around a little with using restraints- Velcro cuffs on the ankles, bondage tape on the wrists. I have been both the restrainer and the restrainee on different occasions. I've told my Mrs. all about this. Not sure whether she is especially turned on by it, and due to young people in the house we have not had the chance to try it ourselves yet. But we shall see!

[PeterJ 948]

I'll answer your second question. I generally say nothing to my wife about what a playmate does differently.

 

1. She has never expressed an interest.

2. I have an intuitive feeling that saying to my wife that so-and-so performs a particular sex act better than she would surface some future day as trouble.

 

Quite possibly that "future day" would be the exact same day in which you voiced that observation… :-)

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Mrs two4you can't handle a man ejaculating in her mouth. The gag reflex is too strong. She'll lick him after he's finished, but that initial ejaculation is too much for her. I have had a few swing partners that have been more than willing to demonstrate their skill at taking it all.

She knows about it, and she's happy for me when it happens.

 

Flipping the script, Mrs two4you also enjoys a dominant man. One that can spank that ass just right, make restraint and domination part of the sex, and, generally show her "who's boss". I SUCK at being a dominant (or submissive for that matter). She has played with a couple of guys that were really good at this and were able to hit all the right buttons.

Obviously, I know about those trysts and am really happy for her when it happens.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

I take a proactive role and ask Mr. Sun if a playmate does something that he enjoys that I haven't done. I want to learn how to be a better lover and learn new and different techniques. I may suck at it or never be good at it but at least I tried. Or I would learn something and add to my repertoire. Of course, there are certain sexual acts that I have tried or that just don't interest me and in those situations, I am more than happy when Mr. Sun can find a playmate who enjoys doing those with him.

[asncpl 729]

I usually like it a bit rougher with my play partners, like someone who can really dominate me. Mr. A is not that type. He knows it, and we are both fine with it, so there is no jealousy there. But whatever I do with my play partners, I am always willing to do with Mr. A, but he may not be as into it.

[Shore2Please 611]

This is a great question because I just answered another thread and this question popped in my head too. I have not been with that many men and swinging is still brand new for us. I have always been well satisfied sexually by my husband. Being with a new sex partner was very different. I can't put my finger on what is different. I think every partner is different just like all people are different. Looking back, I can say I was seduced. We didn't just have sex that first time, he took his time. He touched me differently than my husband. He smelled differently, he tasted differently. His rhythm was different. His positions were different. His little noises were different. I can't say how but when he was giving me oral it felt different. He touched me differently and in different places. Over the years we know what our partner likes but when with someone new you find they like other things. It felt strange and fun having a man directing me to do things to him. He told me I felt tighter than his wife. I never even thought I was tight. He also said I was more limber. The same way I thought his oral was different he said "I wish .... was as good as you in sucking" Compliment?

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

... He said "I wish .... was as good as you in sucking" Compliment?

Yes, It sounds like a nice compliment for you. But if he doesn't tweak this to say "she was different" rather than "she was better" when he tells his wife about it, his key may not work in the front door any more!

[cplnluv1 872]

We don't have regular play partners. I can say every couple we meet is different. Some are different in a good way, some not. We always discuss our meetings when we are back home. Almost all the couples we meet are pretty new to this. Some men just don't know what they are doing. I remember telling one guy that it's not a bowling ball. We have met women who just don't move and others that start cumming at the first touch. Some women are eager to try things, some are scared. Most men are eager. Some too eager. Some are fast others I wish they were fast. On the whole most are nice, pleasant and fun. Viva la difference.

[TricianMike 772]

I will answer the question of what my play partners want to do that they don't do with their SO. I do discuss everything with Mike, it part of our excitement. I know many of the men I have been with do things with me that they don't do at home. I consider myself pretty free to what I will do with the right person. Mike tells me most women he has been with are pretty open but you have to read what they want or won't do. I can't tell you how many men want to put it in the rear. Some will admit their SO won't. Others you just know. I don't allow all men to go there. It was said about cumming in a mouth. That has never been a problem for me but again many wives won't or can't. I have been praised by the way I touch or will play with a man. Not sure what their wives are doing differently. As someone said, we are all different in different ways.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

In my one experience so far, the only thing the other woman did my wife does not was squirt. She came a lot easier as well, which was very satisfying for me as well. Really made me feel good when the first time she mounted me she came pretty much as soon as I entered her, then again and again and again. My wife seemed to think I was doing something differently though, which I really wasn't. I was hardly doing anything at all.

 

Now this is the only play partner I can really compare but so far, my wife is better at BJs, is tighter and knows how to move it so it feels much much better.

[willyoats 324]

Every partner has something special to bring to the party. The ones I remember best are the ones I have been with multiple times. Those repeat encounters always mean that we enjoy each other's company and want to be together again. With the three women that I have many repeats, the most significant difference is how much they all enjoy oral sex, both giving and receiving, something that my wife is indifferent about.

 

About sharing this info, no way. My wife is perfectly content to let me have my playtime but is not at all interested in hearing about what went on. That's a mild disappointment to me, as I would like to share. I always want to know all about what she did with her partners, and I would like her to be interested in what I did, but it is not to be! That's a VERY small price to pay for all the other pleasures we share together and separately.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

About sharing this info, no way. My wife is perfectly content to let me have my playtime but is not at all interested in hearing about what went on. That's a mild disappointment to me, as I would like to share. I always want to know all about what she did with her partners, and I would like her to be interested in what I did, but it is not to be! That's a VERY small price to pay for all the other pleasures we share together and separately.

That's interesting. Have you seen any other signs that she has any feelings of jealousy? Maybe she feels that your reporting how much you liked some activity that she isn't interested in would put pressure on her to try it also. In any case, assuming you two have talked it out and are both convinced that there is no problem lurking undertake he surface, then all is well!

 

Every play partner is different in many ways, large and small, from everyone else. That difference is part of what makes this lifestyle so much fun, and keeps it interesting and fresh!

[let's do it again 414]

Talks filthy and I love it ! K doesn't talk dirty because she doesn't feel like she does it well and it embarrasses her .

[Numex 2,412]

1.  Everything is different with a different partner, some things subtly, others wildly different.  

2.  My wife and I talk about everything.  That's how we got started in swinging, talking about what we liked about our past partners - I had few, she had many.  I realized how much she liked the variety, so I let her play,

[couplers 4,636]

Different men pump at different frequencies. 

 

Different women trace different patterns with their tongue.