No pic profiles?

[enhancer 1,586]

Just wondering how others that do put an effort into having lots of pics of both of you on your online profiles feel about others that have none or just cock and pussy pics on theirs contacting you saying hey we want to meet you?

 

Why would we want to meet someone who can clearly see everything about our body types when we have no idea what they look like? We don't even want to meet anyone until face pics are exchanged let alone talk to them when they have nothing!

 

If that makes us snobs like some have told us we are then so be it, but how is it fair to these people that they get to see you and not show you anything in return?

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

If there are only a few cock and pussy pics with no indication of body type I generally just skip over them. There are plenty others out there that do give a good indication. If they contact us, we just ask if we could see some more pics first.

 

If that makes me a snob then I don't care. I am looking for others that we connect with on a little more than just a physical level and the amount of effort someone puts into their profile says a lot. Therefore, if they can not put an equal amount of effort as we do, we will probably not be interested in them after we meet them anyway. I really don't think it makes us snobby though. Everyone swings their own way and this is ours. If you can not be accepting of that, oh well, no skin off my back. I guess that does sound snobby, but it's really not, it's more a live and let live mentality. You do your thing, enjoy it how you want, and I'll do mine.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

If we get a message from a profile that has no pictures or only up close pictures of their genitals, I automatically think it won't work out because we then have to ask about seeing face/body pictures. When we do that, it usually goes one of two ways--either they send them and we're not attracted (then we have to obviously reject them because of what we've seen) or we get total silence.

 

It's hard doing the online route and we're more apt to click with someone at a party because there's so much more you can assess in five minutes of seeing and talking with someone in person than what you see and read from messages online.

[enhancer 1,586]

If we get a message from a profile that has no pictures or only up close pictures of their genitals, I automatically think it won't work out because we then have to ask about seeing face/body pictures. When we do that, it usually goes one of two ways--either they send them and we're not attracted (then we have to obviously reject them because of what we've seen) or we get total silence.

 

It's hard doing the online route and we're more apt to click with someone at a party because there's so much more you can assess in five minutes of seeing and talking with someone in person than what you see and read from messages online.

 

We wish we could just go to club to meet people, but the nearest one to us would be about a seven hour drive no matter which way we go so online is our option!

[sunbuckus 3,569]

I am always in awe of those who can make the online route work so kudos to you guys and everyone else who does!

[enhancer 1,586]

I am always in awe of those who can make the online route work so kudos to you guys and everyone else who does!

 

It doesn't come easy without putting a lot of effort into it, but the great people we have meet this way have made it worth while.

 

We can totally see by the way some people do things though why they do not have any success.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

We have only one club here in my town and it's on the other side of town. About a 45 minute drive to get there from where I live. I've read mixed reviews of the club, many saying it is great but then out of towners that did reviews had horrible things to say about and that we deserve better here. In addition, I worry about running in to people I know as I have heard that the club here has started catering to a crowd that are not swingers or into the LS at all, they just go there because they can dance and have fun and not be judged. Since it kinda has that reputation, I am worried about running in to people I know that are not swingers. That leaves longish drives and overnight stays as the only real club option for us, and I don't like clubs to begin with, so online is the only option for us as well. Luckily, so far it has worked out great, we'll have to see if we want to try to meet another couple from online and see how that goes though. One meeting is not exactly a great sample size.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

It doesn't come easy without putting a lot of effort into it, but the great people we have meet this way have made it worth while.

 

We can totally see by the way some people do things though why they do not have any success.

 

This is huge. About 80-90% of the profile we look at are complete garbage. Crappy pics that tell you nothing, poorly written profiles with bad grammar and typos and don't really tell you anything at all about the people or what they are looking for. It's no wonder they have bad luck. We took the time to set up our profile well, only a couple pics that really did not show anything outside of our body type and have gotten several responses from people with similar profiles. We had to tell at least 4-5 different couples, "sorry, we are taking it slow, we are interested but have already arranged a meeting with another couple and are waiting to see how that goes." They all responded, very positively, some with some additional pics as well, saying to take our time and contact them when we are ready while letting us know they are very interested.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

No pics (even if the face is blocked out) or just pics from below the waist to about the knee, poor or almost nothing written in the profile, bad grammar or spelling, or emails that obviously say you never even read our profile will never get you a response and most likely will get you blocked.

[AskMeOk 148]

Please understand that some people just don't do pictures. They. Just. Can't.

 

Teachers, counselors, cops, lawyers, judges, politicians, tv personalities, etc., etc.

 

Been there, done that........ and got abused and/or ignored for being being one of those assholes without pictures.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

Please understand that some people just don't do pictures. They. Just. Can't.

 

Teachers, counselors, cops, lawyers, judges, politicians, tv personalities, etc., etc.

 

Been there, done that........ and got abused and/or ignored for being being one of those assholes without pictures.

 

As long as your face is not displayed and there are no identifiable markings like tattoos, I see no reason for you can't have body shots, even if you are famous. Without a face or an identifiable marking, how would anyone know it was you? They could suspect it was you, but not know.

[freddymike 18]

I don't upload pics or videos to any of my sites where I basically don't want to be picked up

and it works out just fine for me. As a cup size A cock size 20 shemale I have now come to

terms with the fact that more people and couples and groups etc want to shag me than I can

handle or cope with so not posting pics on some sites gives me some time out and creates

groups of people and networks and communities etc that don't just want me for a ride.

[AskMeOk 148]

As long as your face is not displayed and there are no identifiable markings like tattoos, I see no reason for you can't have body shots, even if you are famous. Without a face or an identifiable marking, how would anyone know it was you? They could suspect it was you, but not know.

 

Two things....

 

If you are (for example) a teacher (especially in NC, which in their far right wing bliss, ended tenure) even an accusation of violating any morals clause is more than enough to get you fired. And with the current teacher-hating political situation, I wouldn't be surprised to see a charge of "sex offender" thrown in for good measure.

 

Lastly, SWMBO said, "No."

[ZoDee 81]

We wish we could just go to club to meet people, but the nearest one to us would be about a seven hour drive no matter which way we go so online is our option!

 

Ditto that, with 7 hours being about right for us too.

 

Did have a couple of club nights on a weekend away a few months back, but wrong crowd/no crowd.

Only a hand full of couples present & all on a different page.

 

Online & distance problems are our biggest roadblock here too.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

When we are looking at profiles, we take into account many factors- pictures or no, appearance (if they have pictures), written description or not, indications of friendliness/openness/comfortable-ness (note: I realize that "comfortable-ness" is not a word...), ability to communicate clearly, sense of humor, and "intangibles" that we sense from the total profile.

 

Two things that weigh especially heavily against a couple are: 1) having no written description (if they don't care enough about the impression they make to write a few sentences, we will probably pass them by), and 2) having no pictures at all in the profile (leaves me thinking that they are not serious, very unattractive, or maybe too concerned about privacy to be able to relax and enjoy swinging in the first place). No one factor can completely exclude a profile from consideration, but if a profile has either of the above problems, then it will need a lot of extra goodness in some other area to make up for it!

 

Sunbuckus, we identify most of the couples we meet through some kind of online means- one of the swinger sites, or more recently, through secret Facebook groups for lifestyle groups. Meeting people "cold" in a club... I am in awe of people who can do THAT!

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

Two things....

 

If you are (for example) a teacher (especially in NC, which in their far right wing bliss, ended tenure) even an accusation of violating any morals clause is more than enough to get you fired. And with the current teacher-hating political situation, I wouldn't be surprised to see a charge of "sex offender" thrown in for good measure.

 

Lastly, SWMBO said, "No."

 

Again though, without your face or any identifiable markings, how could anyone even guess it was you? They can't and they can not make any legal accusations either. Also, even if there was something identifiable, someone would have to be out to get you. Depending on the site, you can make it so that only other paid and verified members can see your photos. So someone would have to have paid for the site and submitted their own photos to get verified. If they have done that, then try to accuse you of anything, it will come up what were they doing on there. That's enough to stop most people.

 

Wife saying no is a completely different story though. If one part of a couple is not comfortable doing something, don't do it. Pretty simple. However, don't make up excuses like we can't because..... Someone recognizing you is not really a concern. I'd be much more worried about someone recognizing me at a club than I would identifying me online, because without a picture of my face, since I have no tattoos or identifiable scars, all they are seeing is parts of me people I would be worried about identifying me have never seen.

 

If you are a teacher in a conservative state and post body shots in underwear only, the only parts of you visible are parts that parents and other staff have never seen anyway. They see you only with your clothes on and mainly see your face. Pics with your clothes off and no face will not be identifiable.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . If that makes us snobs like some have told us we are then so be it

Fly your flag proudly. We too are snobs.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We both have morals clauses in our job descriptions but still have pictures (although the faces are blocked) in our online profiles. While you can't tell exactly what we look like, you can get more of an idea as to what we are like and if you contact us, we will usually send the unedited pictures in response. A picture is worth a thousand words...even an edited picture is still worth 500 words...

[BuiltForSin 66]

We have for the most part given up doing initial meetings with couples one-on-one . Starting in October we put a lot of effort in trying to meet that perfect couple where we meshed perfectly. We had seven times *in a row* over the course of two months last minute cancellations and no-shows of which all but one were from people who contacted us first. So.. Pictures / no pictures, seemly perfect match or red flags galore we give the same option: There is a meet and if one or more couples that would like to meet tell us they will be at the meet then we will attend. If there is any chemistry there we can contact each other afterward and move forward. If they can't make make the meet we say "Well when you decide to go, let us know and we will make the effort to be there."

[lokkie 16]

Pics in profiles has always been a little wierd for me because I tend to come across as a lot more slender and muscular than I really. Like others have suggested though When I opt to not put a profile pic up I do take the time to describe myself in words, generally something like "Bigger guy but not sloppy".

[AskMeOk 148]

Pics in profiles has always been a little wierd for me because I tend to come across as a lot more slender and muscular than I really. Like others have suggested though When I opt to not put a profile pic up I do take the time to describe myself in words, generally something like "Bigger guy but not sloppy".

 

I'm not making a pitch for doing Jabba the Hut, but making the decision not to get to know another party just due to a picture, IMHO, is quite shortsighted. I've seen a "10+" become a 2 after she opens her mouth. I've also seen the opposite. To each his own, though. Just my 2¢.......

[enhancer 1,586]

Pics in profiles has always been a little wierd for me because I tend to come across as a lot more slender and muscular than I really. Like others have suggested though When I opt to not put a profile pic up I do take the time to describe myself in words, generally something like "Bigger guy but not sloppy".

 

Having a well written is a big plus as well! Problem is there are many out there including us that set their search to only include profiles with pics that will never read it. There are also people like us again that also do not even bother to open and read people's profiles if there are no pics. We know we are not alone on this.

 

The best odds of meeting others online are to have both a well written profile and clear pics of at least your body type to start out with. It is really up to each individual on if they want increase those odds or not though.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

Pics in profiles has always been a little wierd for me because I tend to come across as a lot more slender and muscular than I really. Like others have suggested though When I opt to not put a profile pic up I do take the time to describe myself in words, generally something like "Bigger guy but not sloppy".

 

Clothes on pic from neck to knees is more than enough to give people a general idea of your body type. You don't need much more than that and as long as you look at least kinda similar to that pic you're in good shape. As Enhancer said, with no pic, you will not even be seen by most couples. The option to only see profiles with pics was on by default for us on AFF and we never bothered to turn it off. Generally, I assume(I know, I know), that if you do not put up a pic, you've got something to hide. Sure, some pics get an instant hell no from either my wife(usually) or myself, but no pic means you don't even get looked at.

[lokkie 16]

I think I'd get over it more of I was more reliant on online profiles. The wife and I tend to lean more heavily on kik. Though if we do ever switch it up (though we do have a sls profile) I see now pics are must.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

I think I'd get over it more of I was more reliant on online profiles. The wife and I tend to lean more heavily on kik. Though if we do ever switch it up (though we do have a sls profile) I see now pics are must.

 

I thought kik was just a chat app, you can actually use it to find people too? We find people online, message them, swap more personal pics, then begin chatting with them on kik. Did not think it had a database of other swinger couples to browse.

[lokkie 16]

I can't speak for every city but Chicago has a couple swingers and hook up kik chat rooms that are advertised on Craigslist.

[AngelandTiger 364]

We'll message and talk to couples/singles who have no pics in their profiles (our search doesn't eliminate them) if their profile is interesting and informative. We'll RARELY message those with genital pics only..in fact, the profile would have to be MARKEDLY better than average for us to do so. We do answer all inquiries, however. We feel we owe people an answer if they take the trouble to write us. However, if what they write is one of those really bad openers, we DO ignore those.

 

AngelandTiger

[datzme4ya 18]

SA_NewtoLS .. it looks like we are in the same town. We have just started this journey & I was bummed to find out about there really being only the one club. In fact, I had been hoping that once I started getting more involved online it would uncover maybe some that weren't just advertised but that doesn't seem to be.

[BuiltForSin 66]

If we get a message from a profile that has no pictures or only up close pictures of their genitals, I automatically think it won't work out because we then have to ask about seeing face/body pictures. When we do that, it usually goes one of two ways--either they send them and we're not attracted (then we have to obviously reject them because of what we've seen) or we get total silence.

 

Yes exactly. We have that as a bullet item in out profile: "When we initiate communication we open up and share pictures up front. This gives people the opportunity to make a graceful exit after seeing our faces. We appreciate the same consideration." we go back and forth on overly nice and overly direct or trying to add humor - we used to add "If we have to chose between asking for photos and walking away we are walking away." but it felt like a bit much - maybe after the next bad day

[BuiltForSin 66]

We'll message and talk to couples/singles who have no pics in their profiles (our search doesn't eliminate them) if their profile is interesting and informative. We'll RARELY message those with genital pics only..in fact, the profile would have to be MARKEDLY better than average for us to do so. We do answer all inquiries, however. We feel we owe people an answer if they take the trouble to write us. However, if what they write is one of those really bad openers, we DO ignore those.

 

We answer anyone who mails us but we don't go to deep - if there seems to be interest then lets meet and see if there is chemistry. We don't do the ongoing emails or texts - gauge interests, set up a time/date for an initial meet, that's it. We now limit this to initial meeting at meet and greets or baring that we will share a drink while out at a local club but stress we may be meeting others "come by, lets share a drink and a dance or two and see if there is any chemistry." - Just burned one too many times by no shows and last minute cancellations to gamble an entire evening on people we don't know.

[shy_couple 460]

All we can do is quote Sweet Brown, "I ain't got time fa dat!"

[econobiker 165]

This is huge. About 80-90% of the profile we look at are complete garbage. Crappy pics that tell you nothing, poorly written profiles with bad grammar and typos and don't really tell you anything at all about the people or what they are looking for. It's no wonder they have bad luck.

 

With the proliferation of internet access, people of all levels of learning and education are online trying to get nookie of some sort. Whereas years ago maybe certain bars were the nexus of the more coarse, rougher crowd, now they post among us. And they may actually connect with similar people of similar backgounds. After all, folks continue fall for the Nigerian 419 scam so that they post to swinger sites would/should not surpise us.

In a non-swinging venue, I first encountered this issue 15-16 years ago when selling stuff via a big online auction website. That some folks were barely literate were attempting to buy my stuff and trying to ask me about items.

[AskMeOk 148]

With the proliferation of internet access, people of all levels of learning and education are online.........

 

I don't disagree with your point, but considering social network sites (e.g. Facebook)..... it appears that some groups "do computers" and some don't. It makes me wonder which groups don't get the digital message.... that might have gotten the message in the bad old days of swinger mags....

[econobiker 165]

I don't disagree with your point, but considering social network sites (e.g. Facebook)..... it appears that some groups "do computers" and some don't. It makes me wonder which groups don't get the digital message.... that might have gotten the message in the bad old days of swinger mags....

 

I think that that the less literate wouldn't have gotten the digital or the analog message because they would not have gotten to the point of swingers magazines advertising. It's the lower cost of entry for smart phones onto the internet that I posted about in another thread that allows them. Just like folks on social networking like Facebook who still believe every forwarded message without verification against Snopes website, these folks are not literate and savy enough to understand the common themes and desires of others.