Would you play with someone you know from the vanilla world?

[njbm 2,924]

A local couple contacted us on SLS. I think I know the female of the couple to be a former employee of a fellow professional. I don't think she knows it is me. If they join us in a pact of secrecy would you meet and perhaps play or would you just pass ?

[JandKinBoise 862]

That's a good question and the situation probably comes up a lot, especially in smaller communities.

 

We walked into a bar once to meet a guy we had been e-mailing for a week or so, even exchanged pictures. We all were kinda freaked out when we all recognized each other. We had worked at the same company and knew each other socially. It had been years ago and the pictures didn't register with any of us. At least we knew we liked the guy so after some logistics were managed, we had a good time with him.

 

I think if you contact this couple, you will find she is going to be more protective and paranoid than you. I'd go for it. Sometimes meeting someone you know can make the situation a little more comfortable overall.

[kikonkrome 845]

I think we would pass, although to be clear the situation has never come up. The closest we came was meeting a teacher at a local school, but the only reason we knew that was because she told us.

[freddymike 18]

Stay out of it while you still can. You know and they don't yet. And keep your mouth shut about it. Just what I would do that's all. If you don't go with that many people your judgement might be clouded though.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I dunno, the connection seems enough at arms length to me to be OK. From your description, it looks like there is not really a danger of having to see this person every day if things don't work out. And, as always, you have a "mutual assured destruction" pact with this woman, by virtue of the fact that you both have the ability to out the other, but an interest in not doing so.

 

So I say, go for it! It might be exciting!

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Tough call, there are a lot of different variables that can come into play making each one of these situations a pure judgment call. I think I would just get down to the most basic - are you very protective of your full identity with playmates and other swingers? If the answer to that is yes, then don't do it since that cat will be out of the bag from the first minute. If that isn't that big of issue to you, and since it sounds like there isn't much if any overlap otherwise, then you might want to consider it...still seems a bit risky though.

[ViSexual 1,009]

Of the five couples we swapped with years ago, four were prior vanilla acquaintances.

The first was the couple who seduced us. He was a fellow cop and in my police academy.

The second was my assistant manager in a car dealership.

The third was a salesman that worked for me in the dealership.

The fourth was the builder of a house we were having built.

 

None of these situations caused any problems and there was never any drama. In fact, it was fun because I'd had fantasies about those wives before. And, maybe, my wife and given thought to the husbands too.

[findinganswers 377]

We have and it is the best. What better than playing with friends? They are our best vanilla friends and now our best spumoni friends. It put the cherry on the top.

[intuition897 2,180]

We haven't, but honestly - for me at least - it would be optimal. I'd rather that I know them somewhat. Not because I'm afraid to fuck a complete stranger, but because most of my pleasure is intellectual. I like the mind-fuck of knowing someone as an acquaintance - someone you keep at arm's length in your everyday vanilla life - and then getting the privilege of being allowed into their personal space and getting to see them in a whole new light...then going back to our respective lives with our minds totally blown by the experience. I am so weird.

[Alura 2,777]

There are some benefits to fucking friends. Y'all can play fun games together.

 

We used to have "date night" when The swapped couples would go out to dinner, sometimes in the same restaurant, sitting separately, pretending to not know each other. Then we'd go home and fuck.

 

We need a separate thread for "date night" scenarios...

[intuition897 2,180]

There are some benefits to fucking friends. Y'all can play fun games together.

 

We used to have "date night" when The swapped couples would go out to dinner, sometimes in the same restaurant, sitting separately, pretending to not know each other. Then we'd go home and fuck.

 

We need a separate thread for "date night" scenarios...

 

Love this! You're right. We need a whole "Truth or Dare" swingers games thread. Somebody throws down the gauntlet and players have to rise to the challenge. Alura, I've often thought about that scenario. Being in the lifestyle and others not knowing about your predilections is sort of like dressing like a nun but wearing red lace underbritches. LOL

[Alura 2,777]

Love this! You're right. We need a whole "Truth or Dare" swingers games thread. Somebody throws down the gauntlet and players have to rise to the challenge. Alura, I've often thought about that scenario. Being in the lifestyle and others not knowing about your predilections is sort of like dressing like a nun but wearing red lace underbritches. LOL

 

This reminds me of Laura's and my wedding, Intuition. The ceremony was officiated by a lady who was a "minister" of the "Abundant Life" church. (She answered an ad in Rolling Stone to get her ordination.) She wore a long black dress with a clerical collar. In a chat after the ceremony, we learned that she wore, under the habit, red hot pants and fishnet stockings, because she was scheduled to deliver a singing Valentines Day greeting after our wedding. Had we known, we would have asked her to ditch the habit.

[intuition897 2,180]

This reminds me of Laura's and my wedding, Intuition. The ceremony was officiated by a lady who was a "minister" of the "Abundant Life" church. (She answered an ad in Rolling Stone to get her ordination.) She wore a long black dress with a clerical collar. In a chat after the ceremony, we learned that she wore, under the habit, red hot pants and fishnet stockings, because she was scheduled to deliver a singing Valentines Day greeting after our wedding. Had we known, we would have asked her to ditch the habit.

 

OMG, that's hilarious!!

[asncpl 730]

I dunno, the connection seems enough at arms length to me to be OK. From your description, it looks like there is not really a danger of having to see this person every day if things don't work out. And, as always, you have a "mutual assured destruction" pact with this woman, by virtue of the fact that you both have the ability to out the other, but an interest in not doing so.

 

Well said. Our concern is not so much our secret will be out but rather it would make the vanilla relationship awkward. We played with a couple whose husband had a business relationship with my husband, but we played only after the business was concluded. It really depends on your vanilla relationship with this couple, the extent of mutual acquaintances and even the size of your community.

[GoldCoCouple 4,070]

Tough question (even after reading all of the other answers). It could be fun, but the thought of what could happen if things didn't go well. Especially since this is a former employee of a fellow professional. We try to keep play and private lives separate, but we REALLY keep play and professional lives as far apart as possible. Then again, we both have 'morals clauses' in our employment contracts and would never want what we do to play get back to what we do for money.

[Bob250 74]

It depends of if you are talking about acquaintences, or close friends. If the first, I don't see why not. If the second, I can see a great many issues and potential hazards. I would not, but I am not a person who likes drama or potential drama.

[Bob250 74]

I dunno, the connection seems enough at arms length to me to be OK. From your description, it looks like there is not really a danger of having to see this person every day if things don't work out. And, as always, you have a "mutual assured destruction" pact with this woman, by virtue of the fact that you both have the ability to out the other, but an interest in not doing so.

 

So I say, go for it! It might be exciting!

This right here is a good reason why not. "Mutual assured distruction"? Really? How do we get from fun times with friends to mutual potential blackmail. If this is your rationale for doing something with "friends" .......I'll pass.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

This right here is a good reason why not. "Mutual assured distruction"? Really? How do we get from fun times with friends to mutual potential blackmail. If this is your rationale for doing something with "friends" .......I'll pass.

Well, Bob, I think you have either misunderstood what I was saying, or are trying to be intentionally provocative.

 

Firstly, that was a tongue-in-cheek, humorous-to-some (though not to you, apparently) way of expressing the state of affairs with two couples who know each other from their vanilla lives, who then discover that they are swingers. Everyone has a vested interest in keeping the secret for each other- do you think this is not the case?

 

Secondly, no one here is talking about blackmailing their friends. That is entirely a creation of your own imagination. I would not have any sinister motives in this situation- would you?

[Mbgdallas 203]

I am trying to decide if I have any friends or people I know that I would want to play with. Let me think....

 

I have one couple that we are friends with that we have a great time together in the vanilla world. She is hot and would love to fuck her. Would play with them in a heartbeat.

 

Know another young lady who used to work for me that I would almost be brave enough to approach who has turned into an absolutely beautiful woman. Trouble is she is 25 years my junior so not going to happen.

 

Had a friend several years ago who used to flirt with all the time. She would be an awesome playmate. This is the most likely person I know that would ever get together to play with. She is almost a better friend with my wife. She is 13 years my junior which she loves to point out to me. Trouble is we have lost contact and not sure where she is currently.

 

So I guess my answer is sure. Why not if you are attracted to each other. I can see some dangers but that is also life.

[Bob250 74]

Well, Bob, I think you have either misunderstood what I was saying, or are trying to be intentionally provocative.

 

Firstly, that was a tongue-in-cheek, humorous-to-some (though not to you, apparently) way of expressing the state of affairs with two couples who know each other from their vanilla lives, who then discover that they are swingers. Everyone has a vested interest in keeping the secret for each other- do you think this is not the case?

 

Secondly, no one here is talking about blackmailing their friends. That is entirely a creation of your own imagination. I would not have any sinister motives in this situation- would you?

Well, MD, my Blackmail comment was MY 'tongue in cheek" attempt at humor. We can draw two different conclusions from this: 1. Neither of us are very funny or 2. It is difficult to convey humor on an internet forum. Personally, I suspect it is #2.

The point I was trying to make , is that there is far less possibility for drama, if you become vanilla friends with play mates, than the other way around. It has been my experience and the experiences of my GF that to swing with vanilla friends is a mine field looking to explode.

[Lionheart72 2,191]

A local couple contacted us on SLS. I think I know the female of the couple to be a former employee of a fellow professional. I don't think she knows it is me. If they join us in a pact of secrecy would you meet and perhaps play or would you just pass ?

 

The very first time I went to a local swingers club, we met people we knew in "vanilla life." We all laughed about it and it was nice to have someone we knew to hang out with. For a couple of years, I had friends over every week to play games only to eventually discover that every one in the group was poly, kinky and/or swinging. So, I think the vanilla world isn't always as vanilla as you'd think.

 

If someone is in the lifestyle, and knows the rules, I don't see why they can't be successful play partners if everyone is so inclined.

[intuition897 2,180]

There's a couple's ad on AFF in our local area and Mr. intuition said, "I wonder if that's so-and-so from work. It wouldn't surprise me." I remarked that they had a really great ad, actually, and I was interested. He said, "Yeah he's a good guy. I wouldn't mind playing with them." I said, "Whaaat?! You'd play with someone you worked with?" He said yes, he would. This coworker was a decent guy. This pissed me off a little because I've written off potential fun with anyone in my workplace because the don't-shit-where-you-eat rule had always been in effect. Now he tells me, LOL. I guess we'll have to revamp that one.

[Bob250 74]

There's a couple's ad on AFF in our local area and Mr. intuition said, "I wonder if that's so-and-so from work. It wouldn't surprise me." I remarked that they had a really great ad, actually, and I was interested. He said, "Yeah he's a good guy. I wouldn't mind playing with them." I said, "Whaaat?! You'd play with someone you worked with?" He said yes, he would. This coworker was a decent guy. This pissed me off a little because I've written off potential fun with anyone in my workplace because the don't-shit-where-you-eat rule had always been in effect. Now he tells me, LOL. I guess we'll have to revamp that one.

This is a very good rule. Just like loaded guns MIGHT not go off, but wouldn't it be better to UNLOAD them? The people who got me interested in the LS were vanilla friends and co workers, and we all agreed that the rewards of sex ( the wife had the hots for me, and I, her)was not worth the potential damage to our friendship and business relationships. Why chance it, when there are lots of play partners out in the LS, who would not be potential flashpoints?

[Bob250 74]

Let me explain that by "friends" I mean the close personal kind. Casual Acquaintences might be different.

[intuition897 2,180]

Let me explain that by "friends" I mean the close personal kind. Casual Acquaintences might be different.

 

Yeah we don't socialize much with coworkers after hours.

[GoNatural 104]

I'd do it. These types of situations are more fun for me. I may have a chance with a neighbor that lives a half-mile away.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

A local couple contacted us on SLS. I think I know the female of the couple to be a former employee of a fellow professional. I don't think she knows it is me. If they join us in a pact of secrecy would you meet and perhaps play or would you just pass ?

Well, njbm, it seems that it is going to happen to us. We were contacted by people who recognized our images from our SLS profile. And they are members of the synagogue. My wife and I have admitted to each other more than once as we sit and listed to the mumbo jumbo in the sanctuary we sometimes wonder. "who in here might be swingers?" Well, two of them found us. We're getting together with them next week.

 

So in answer to your question, yes we would. And I guess, so would they.

[freddymike 18]

Ok it might not all be an official secret but I do know that if you knowingly go with people who openly give others away to you the chances are they will give you away to others in the future. I keep a discrete mobile home in another country. Also now being a cup size A cock size 7 trans type person I make a point of not risking betraying others even if I am betrayed myself. I hope that adds something positive to the whole debate.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

Ok it might not all be an official secret but I do know that if you knowingly go with people who openly give others away to you the chances are they will give you away to others in the future. I keep a discrete mobile home in another country. Also now being a cup size A cock size 7 trans type person I make a point of not risking betraying others even if I am betrayed myself. I hope that adds something positive to the whole debate.

 

? ? ?

[themorethemerry 16]

We used to have "date night" when The swapped couples would go out to dinner, sometimes in the same restaurant, sitting separately, pretending to not know each other. Then we'd go home and fuck.

 

Wow, this is really hot, I've never heard this kind of game before. I'll note it down on my TODO list.

[freddymike 18]

I have not read this thread in a while. It seems a very general question now best answered the other way around. Which is in greater supply seems to be my answer now? As the song goes a kiss is just a kiss and a sigh is just a sigh.

[Guest]

O guess I don’t understand why we are saying these folks are from the vanilla world, they have been communicating about swinging and are meeting you for the purpose of swinging. Is that vanilla? Maybe they are first timers, maybe they are not, but they are not vanilla. You knowing them and not knowing they had swinging tendencies doesn’t make them vanilla. Them not knowing that you were swingers doesn’t make them vanilla.