We have questions about our first house party.

[findinganswers 369]

We have been invited to our first house party. Really an apartment party. We have taken the jump from playing friends to playing with two friends. Now our friends have invited us to meet people they have played with for years. There might be up to 10 couples. I know I can go at least twice. Hopefully not too fast. Me and the wife talked this morning. How many of the men could she be with? I was joking every guy will want her. Sounded like I am bragging but I still think she is hot. But really we will be the new couple and I think every guy wants to try something new.

Another question is I don't know if I could be a sloppy second. When we played with friends we went bare. Not sure how their parties work as far as condoms. We also know there isn't much room to split up. We live in the city and our friends just have a 2 bedroom apartment. Is it common for people to wash up between partners?

I probably have other questions.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

We have been invited to our first house party. Really an apartment party. We have taken the jump from playing friends to playing with two friends. Now our friends have invited us to meet people they have played with for years. There might be up to 10 couples. I know I can go at least twice. Hopefully not too fast. Me and the wife talked this morning. How many of the men could she be with? I was joking every guy will want her. Sounded like I am bragging but I still think she is hot. But really we will be the new couple and I think every guy wants to try something new.

Another question is I don't know if I could be a sloppy second. When we played with friends we went bare. Not sure how their parties work as far as condoms. We also know there isn't much room to split up. We live in the city and our friends just have a 2 bedroom apartment. Is it common for people to wash up between partners?

I probably have other questions.

First and foremost, create no expectations for yourselves other than to enjoy yourselves and to have a good time. Second, do not try to match your wife encounter-for-encounter. Women will almost always receive more attention at a party and that is the way it should be. You might run out of amunition and not be able to shoot but she is very liable to still be going like the energizer bunny. This fact of party life was hard for me to understand but I have now recognized it as the natural way of things.

 

And you should remove the notion of sloppy second from your mind. Some people are going to freshen after a tumble in the hay; others will not. And it would be poor form to ask, "hey, did you sanitize that thing after your recent frolic?" This is another thing that bothered me at first but I am now of the belief that if I can exchange bodily fluids by way of wet, sloppy kisses, any other bodily fluid is just another bodily fluid.

 

STIs are real. You can manage risk by using protection even if nobody else at the party seems to be. I have never run into a woman at a party who raised an objection.

 

Have a good time and let us know how it works out.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

^^^^ What SW_PA_Couple said!

 

Your wife should have as much fun as she wants. As stated above, biology will likely prevent you from having as many rounds as her, but that is the way of the swinger world.

 

Many people use condoms for play, whether at a party, club, or individual play date. But again as stated above, the decision on condom use should be made by the people involved, and their spouses.

 

Feel free to post any other questions you might think of!

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Parties can be very different. I would ask your friends who have been before how things go.

[njbm 2,871]

Whatever we expect to happen at a party never happens. This is the thrill of the hobby. My wife, who is attractive, draws attention at parties. Have safe fun!

[TricianMike 772]

We are not big into large house parties. We have attended a few and as said above all are different. The ones we did go to we knew one couple before going and found others we knew at the party. Parties can go many ways, some can be a gathering of small groups who have found a place to enjoy. Maybe 2 couples off to the side. You would either have to join in a group or be invited in. We have been to parties that we were immediately hit on. You know at least one couple that has already been with this group before. Ask them how it normally goes. I am sure you are not the first "new" couple attending. Be prepared for everything. What happens if someone you are not attracted to approaches you? What happens if no one approaches you? Would you just watch or try to engage? Mike is straight but not all men at a large party are. But don't worry, most men will not approach you and bi men at parties we have attended were rare.

Don't worry about your prowess. If you can't or go too soon, most women have experienced that before. There will be others to help.

Sloppy seconds may be an issue to you at first. Mike had that phobia but learned to work through it. If you wouldn't mind having a woman go down on you after someone else was in her mouth, you shouldn't worry about some guy cumming in her below before you. If you wear a condom, it really shouldn't be a problem.

Be prepared though for your wife to have more sex than you. I have found new women are a bigger prize than new men. You will as you said only be able a few times. She may have many more men being the new one.

Have fun and enjoy. Let us all know how it goes

[TricianMike 772]

As Tricia and others have stated, you never know. I can tell you what you may find, a great group of people or one obnoxious putz who is going to ruin your fun. You just don't know. Set your expectations low and hope for the best. You are going to look for the one woman who you want to play with. With luck she will be available and willing. Don't get too excited to fast. Stay calm and take your time. It may seem like a buffet and you may go too fast and then not enjoy the other goodies.

Get ready for your wife to be with half the men. She is the new toy and everyone wants to play with it. You know the guy in the locker room with no towel? The one swaying in the wind that you pretend you didn't look at? He will be at your party. Every party has that one big guy. Let your wife enjoy. Don't worry he won't ruin her for ever. She too is in the toy store. She wants to play with all the new toys. She will know when to stop or she may want more new games. She is going to be with more toys than you are. Let her enjoy. Don't get angry if every guy wants her. Have fun and enjoy watching. You should be happy that you have a wonderful wife who is enjoying.

[econobiker 165]

We have been invited to our first house party. ....

I was joking every guy will want her. Sounded like I am bragging but I still think she is hot. But really we will be the new couple and I think every guy wants to try something new.

 

And there may probably be several women who might want to try out the "new" guy which you are.....

 

 

another question is I don't know if I could be a sloppy second. When we played with friends we went bare. Not sure how their parties work as far as condoms. We also know there isn't much room to split up. We live in the city and our friends just have a 2 bedroom apartment. Is it common for people to wash up between partners?

 

You can wear protection and she can have partners wear protection for penetration -no one can fault you for that. Oral between two partners both ways carries a certain risk of STD's but apparently far less than penetration activities. Still may have more than just her fluids but most women (and men) do clean up before another partner encounter.

Good party hosts should provide items to use to freshen up between such as hand soap, clean wash clothes, disposable wet wipes, mouth wash, etc.

[econobiker 165]

As we're about to attend our second-ever house party, your comments sound so likely to be spot on...we will know a couple of couples, but have been to eager to meet some others that will be attending. Lots of bi ladies for T....plus the hosts have invited "that guy". We are ready for us to both have fun, but as usual, ladies rule "Pacing" ourselves will be the challenge...but what a welcome challenge!

 

The comments got me thinking about the first few house parties I attended after my first (in which I had met Red the night before at the meet and greet.) While I am not and never will be "that guy" due to being of completely average shape and size between my legs, I became "almost that guy" once the women found out that I had bedded down and was, in fact, dating Red, the unicorn single bi-female who typically didn't play with many people (male or female) at the parties. I think the other women wanted to know what I had that had captured Red. While average in size and stature, over the next few parties, I ended up giving several women a good tasting of what Red had mightily enjoyed via my oral performance skills.

 

Good luck and enjoy the fun...

[Shore2Please 611]

Does your wife have questions and what are her thoughts of being with multi-men. I enjoy one on one with a man. Being you and her are talking about it, she wants to do it. I would think some of the men will try to show off a little, I could be wrong. For those of you who have done parties, don't the women get sore after a few men? I think the excitement and anticipation will be better than the actual act of being with all those men.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

My Mrs. gets to play a lot at our favorite house party. And by the way, it's not always multi-men at the same time- sometimes it's one on one, several times, with different guys. Now when it IS multiple guys at once, I don't recall it being an actually competitive thing between the guys, trying to show off or anything. And yes, she does get sore after a while, but it is well-earned, and it usually takes a few rounds before she is too worn out to continue!

[Shore2Please 611]

My Mrs. gets to play a lot at our favorite house party. And by the way, it's not always multi-men at the same time- sometimes it's one on one, several times, with different guys. Now when it IS multiple guys at once, I don't recall it being an actually competitive thing between the guys, trying to show off or anything. And yes, she does get sore after a while, but it is well-earned, and it usually takes a few rounds before she is too worn out to continue!

 

We are still novices to this and like the original poster, looking for answers. When I do read the posts on here my mind wanders. The what ifs come out. I am not sure what happens. Don't think it would be competitive, just showy. I found being alone with one man was very sensual. Having sex in front of others more animalistic. I have been made sore just by my husband. A good sore. He was sore too. Just imagining what it would be like with a number of men

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

You're right about the animalistic vs sensual nature of play in a group vs one on one. We find the same kind of thing in same-room swapping vs swapping in separate rooms. When we're one on one with our play partner, we feel more free to take our time, talk more (including sexy dirty talk), and make it generally a more passionate, intense experience! So for example, at our last house party, while the Mrs. was getting serviced by a couple of guys at once, I was off with a favorite woman friend, one on one, having a long, sensual, passionate, intense, loud, leg-shaking good time! I ended up going just one round at that party (the Mrs. got tired and asked to leave just as I was getting ready to take a new-to-me woman upstairs...), but it was a good night for both of us.

 

No worries about looking for answers- that's why we're all here! Let your mind wander, think of some "what ifs", and ask away!

[Shore2Please 611]

You're right about the animalistic vs sensual nature of play in a group vs one on one. We find the same kind of thing in same-room swapping vs swapping in separate rooms. When we're one on one with our play partner, we feel more free to take our time, talk more (including sexy dirty talk), and make it generally a more passionate, intense experience! So for example, at our last house party, while the Mrs. was getting serviced by a couple of guys at once, I was off with a favorite woman friend, one on one, having a long, sensual, passionate, intense, loud, leg-shaking good time! I ended up going just one round at that party (the Mrs. got tired and asked to leave just as I was getting ready to take a new-to-me woman upstairs...), but it was a good night for both of us.

 

No worries about looking for answers- that's why we're all here! Let your mind wander, think of some "what ifs", and ask away!

Thank you for seeing things like me. When I was alone with him in another room I felt everything shake. We took all night making our bodies a team working together. My experience with others watching was more like I was being fucked.

[findinganswers 369]

Thanks again. The more questions I ask, the more questions I have. Some interesting responses. I brought up to the Mrs. the possibility of "that guy". She laughed and wanted to know if I always check out the guys in the locker room. Told her you can't miss those guts. Am I right?

She said she would be careful if that guy was there and she pointed out that we have a toy maybe a replica of that guy.

We discussed the condom question. I know that our friends have played with many of the people at the party and we weren't too safe with our friends. I said we shouldn't be stupid though. We do have a family.

I asked her how many men would she be with. Neither of us had an answer. We don't know. My figure was higher in how many men would want her. I said all would. She doesn't think she would be the one everyone wants. I asked her if someone she wasn't attracted to made a play, how would she react. I told her I wouldn't go after someone if I wasn't physically attracted to. That started another conversation. We did make up a signal if she needed help with someone she didn't want. But what if I am not available to see the signal. I told her we would get our friends to watch out for her.

I asked her if we are going too fast. We have only been with friends and this opens a new field. Our friend tell us that almost everyone is in decent shape but remember when you are nude people look different. Nobody will force anything and we can always say NO. I know there is one guy our friend told my wife she will want, haven't seen him yet but he might be That Guy. I just hope there are some women who want me.

[Psyrex 56]

Thanks again. The more questions I ask, the more questions I have. Some interesting responses. I brought up to the Mrs. the possibility of "that guy". She laughed and wanted to know if I always check out the guys in the locker room. Told her you can't miss those guts. Am I right?

She said she would be careful if that guy was there and she pointed out that we have a toy maybe a replica of that guy.

We discussed the condom question. I know that our friends have played with many of the people at the party and we weren't too safe with our friends. I said we shouldn't be stupid though. We do have a family.

I asked her how many men would she be with. Neither of us had an answer. We don't know. My figure was higher in how many men would want her. I said all would. She doesn't think she would be the one everyone wants. I asked her if someone she wasn't attracted to made a play, how would she react. I told her I wouldn't go after someone if I wasn't physically attracted to. That started another conversation. We did make up a signal if she needed help with someone she didn't want. But what if I am not available to see the signal. I told her we would get our friends to watch out for her.

I asked her if we are going too fast. We have only been with friends and this opens a new field. Our friend tell us that almost everyone is in decent shape but remember when you are nude people look different. Nobody will force anything and we can always say NO. I know there is one guy our friend told my wife she will want, haven't seen him yet but he might be That Guy. I just hope there are some women who want me.

 

Hello,

while we're not into house parties with possible multiple partners, we have fantasized about it.

I think something in econobiker's last post bears repeating: whether or not your wife hooks up with that guy, it never, ever hurts to have awesome oral skills for her. I can lift a small horse tied to a string with my tongue.

 

Have fun!

[findinganswers 369]

Hello,

while we're not into house parties with possible multiple partners, we have fantasized about it.

I think something in econobiker's last post bears repeating: whether or not your wife hooks up with that guy, it never, ever hurts to have awesome oral skills for her. I can lift a small horse tied to a string with my tongue.

 

Have fun!

 

Her oral skills are of top notch caliber. Why do you think I married her? Ha. Now do I have to worry about her hurting her jaw?

[Psyrex 56]

Her oral skills are of top notch caliber. Why do you think I married her? Ha. Now do I have to worry about her hurting her jaw?

 

I was actually talking about your oral skills.

 

One time my key just would not go into the lock. I was stuck outside. Now, I could have had a kind stranger open it. And that's okay. My wife is okay with me helping a guy get home, too, as long as she's there, ya know? I can and will figure a way to get in my own house and I ain't sleeping outside. Anyways, my point is, our locksmith drove up and found me vigorously licking our front door and now he won't come back out.

[findinganswers 369]

Our "party" ended up much smaller than we expected. We were one of 4 couples and 2 of the couples were our friends who we have played with. We were told that even though people say they are coming, some just don't show up. Their parties normally have 7-10 couples. I don't know if I was relieved or disappointed in the numbers. Our friends seemed to know this couple very well.

[Shore2Please 611]

Our "party" ended up much smaller than we expected. We were one of 4 couples and 2 of the couples were our friends who we have played with. We were told that even though people say they are coming, some just don't show up. Their parties normally have 7-10 couples. I don't know if I was relieved or disappointed in the numbers. Our friends seemed to know this couple very well.

 

Seems like you preferred it being a small party. You had your reservations about both your ability and your wife being with too many men. With one new couple you may have had time to adjust to strangers. I presume this is the first time you had sex with strangers. For me knowing one couple eased the way to playing with a stranger

[TricianMike 772]

Our "party" ended up much smaller than we expected. We were one of 4 couples and 2 of the couples were our friends who we have played with. We were told that even though people say they are coming, some just don't show up. Their parties normally have 7-10 couples. I don't know if I was relieved or disappointed in the numbers. Our friends seemed to know this couple very well.

 

You never know until you are there how many are going to be there. We are always the tag along couple. Someone we know is going and asks us to come. We enjoy small parties, just us and another couple. Five couples is fine, after that it can get too busy and noisy. Most likely for both of you this was the best scenario. Meeting one new couple along with good friends gave you the opportunity to make a new friend and and new sex partners. I am sure there are those who enjoy the anonymous sex which a big party affords. I rather know the name attached to the penis. If your wife is into this new experience, she most likely had the thrill of a new man. Mike said he could always tell someone who is new the LS. A little hesitation maybe. I hope your small party went well enough to keep you intersted.

[econobiker 165]

Thanks again. The more questions I ask, the more questions I have. Some interesting responses. I brought up to the Mrs. the possibility of "that guy". She laughed and wanted to know if I always check out the guys in the locker room. Told her you can't miss those guys. Am I right? She said she would be careful if that guy was there and she pointed out that we have a toy maybe a replica of that guy.

.......

I asked her if we are going too fast. We have only been with friends and this opens a new field. Our friend tell us that almost everyone is in decent shape but remember when you are nude people look different. Nobody will force anything and we can always say NO. I know there is one guy our friend told my wife she will want, haven't seen him yet but he might be That Guy. I just hope there are some women who want me.

 

At one of the only couple recent house parties that Red and I attended that we DIDN'T host, that guy showed up and I got to hear the ladies all trading knowledge behind his back. His physical stature, even when soft, was confirmed later that night when he walked nude into the kitchen to get a beer to drink. Yeah, he knew what he was doing.

 

I personally never worried about people being "in shape" because our parties were size friendly for bigger folks especially being in the southeast usa.

[Baconheads 432]

Our "party" ended up much smaller than we expected. We were one of 4 couples and 2 of the couples were our friends who we have played with. We were told that even though people say they are coming, some just don't show up. Their parties normally have 7-10 couples. I don't know if I was relieved or disappointed in the numbers. Our friends seemed to know this couple very well.

 

So how was it? Give us some details!

[findinganswers 369]

So how was it? Give us some details!

 

Looking back we are becoming more accepting of the fun. I have now been with three women in the last few months. It is exciting to be with someone new> This was someone completely new, never met her before.

[Shore2Please 611]

Looking back we are becoming more accepting of the fun. I have now been with three women in the last few months. It is exciting to be with someone new> This was someone completely new, never met her before.

,

 

How did your wife like the party? Did you talk about it after? I have so many questions I wish she would answer. I think we are like you, relatively new and just a few experiences and I am reading your experiences from a male view. We are not with our best friends, but rather with strangers we met on vacation. I know I have written in other posts that they were new to this too, but sometimes I have my doubts. Regardless of their experience, I don't have regrets. We have already been with them and another couple but now it seems they are having more couples. This is the reason I question their experience. I admit that having sex with other men is more appealing now that I did it.

Do you watch your wife have sex with men?

Does she watch you?

Do you talk about your feelings of watching?

I know my husband was having sex in another room but when I saw it I had different feelings. Not sure if jealousy was involved but it was some sort of feeling. I read here that so many want to watch their partners, do women want to watch too?

Do you do the same things with your partner watching as you would do if you were alone in another room? Would you be comfortable if your wife went to another room with a man and have you asked her how she would feel if you were alone with a woman? What do each of you prefer?

Going to stop here but I hope you think before answering and that you ask her about her thoughts.

[cplnluv1 872]

,

 

How did your wife like the party? Did you talk about it after? I have so many questions I wish she would answer.

Do you watch your wife have sex with men?

Does she watch you?

Do you talk about your feelings of watching?

I know my husband was having sex in another room but when I saw it I had different feelings. Not sure if jealousy was involved but it was some sort of feeling. I read here that so many want to watch their partners, do women want to watch too?

Do you do the same things with your partner watching as you would do if you were alone in another room? Would you be comfortable if your wife went to another room with a man and have you asked her how she would feel if you were alone with a woman? What do each of you prefer?

Going to stop here but I hope you think before answering and that you ask her about her thoughts.

 

I am happy you are asking questions. I think if you are going to continue in this life style you have to communicate and ask questions. Not all flavors fit all couples. Some men like to watch their wives, some don't. I like to watch my husband and I know he loves watching me with both women and men. It was one of the reasons we got started.

You mentioned your jealousy in seeing your husband having sex. You also say you enjoy sex with your new partners. You have to ask why you are jealous and discuss it with your husband. We are not party people. We enjoy one on one with new couples. We usually talk about jealousies with new couples before we start. We know different couples have reacted in different ways. So many men won't admit they are afraid how they will measure up to other men. My husband admitted he was afraid the first man he saw me with was going to be so much better than him. He was younger and larger. I always say don't worry, it was just different. So much of what we do is based on couples where the other woman is curious and my husband always watches. Almost all of time it goes beyond that to swinging. As I said we both enjoy watching more an more. And we enjoy discussing after. Not every man I am with rocks my world. And not every woman is the best for either of us. I tell the truth to my husband, If a man was great and I orgasm he knows and is happy.

[findinganswers 369]

,

 

How did your wife like the party? Did you talk about it after? I have so many questions I wish she would answer. I think we are like you, relatively new and just a few experiences and I am reading your experiences from a male view. We are not with our best friends, but rather with strangers we met on vacation. I know I have written in other posts that they were new to this too, but sometimes I have my doubts. Regardless of their experience, I don't have regrets. We have already been with them and another couple but now it seems they are having more couples. This is the reason I question their experience. I admit that having sex with other men is more appealing now that I did it.

Do you watch your wife have sex with men?

Does she watch you?

Do you talk about your feelings of watching?

I know my husband was having sex in another room but when I saw it I had different feelings. Not sure if jealousy was involved but it was some sort of feeling. I read here that so many want to watch their partners, do women want to watch too?

Do you do the same things with your partner watching as you would do if you were alone in another room? Would you be comfortable if your wife went to another room with a man and have you asked her how she would feel if you were alone with a woman? What do each of you prefer?

Going to stop here but I hope you think before answering and that you ask her about her thoughts.

 

I read this post a week ago and it made me think. We have and do talk about our new experience but I think we needed to really talk about it. I wanted to know what she was really thinking about. It is funny that we did this and had fun and I know my wife very well but sometimes we don't express our deepest thoughts. It has been some time since our first time with our friends and maybe some of what we remember is cloudy and we were in bed ourselves when we had this conversation. The rules were we had to be truthful. I reminded her that she had led me to believe that she didn't know our friends were swingers until recently. I asked her how long she knew and she said she knew a long time and was surprised when she found out and then wondered about it. She was curious but afraid to do it or even to discuss it with me. He friend told her about the parties and fun but she kept it a secret from me. I know girls will talk just as much as men maybe more. She finally wanted to tell me but had to find a way. They did and I was the outsider. I told her it pissed me off the way that went down. I felt tricked instead of her opening up to a desire. We got passed that. I asked her about that first time and what she was feeling. She asked me to go first in what I was feeling. I had very mixed feelings. My wife was going to fuck our good friend, the husband of her best friend and I was going to be with that best friend. I told my wife that I have thought about what it would be like to "do" her friend in my head many times. We have been friends for so long and joked about over and over again. To me it was a joke. Little did I know for her it could have happened with us years ago. I told her I was not sure how I would react. I did say that looking back, I am happy it was friends we did this with. They made us so comfortable or as comfortable as I could me seeing my wife with someone else. They made it fum. I said watching her with her friend...WOW. She said that scared her the most. She still isn't 100% into doing that. We talked about that for some time and I said don't feel pressured into anything. I told her I held my breath when he touched her. Luckily the original touching and feeling wasn't romantic, it was done with fun and joking. I saw in her eyes that she like thee touching. She told me she tried to suppress how it felt. She was worried how I felt. When he went down on her she closed her eyes. I always wondered what she looked like when I went down on her. She again told me she worried that I would be mad if she came. But eventually she did cum and she took him in her mouth. I admitted that was the toughest part for me. Again they made it easier because we joked a little but still watching my wife go down on a guy we know or for that matter any guy took some getting used to. I think it was easier when she stopped and they started to fuck. By that time I was already with the wife pretty busy. My wife said she wanted to watch more or me and her friend that first time. She wasn't afraid to watch and excited and hoped I was as good as she had told her friend I was. I think she made that part up.

[10thBadger 25]

I think most men in probably including myself just think that if your wife is having sex with another man and you are seeing her being so aroused and pleased more than you can do in the bed with her, it is a baseball bat to your ego because you wonder why can I make my wife do the same thing that the stranger is making her do. I saw one person on her say that my husband is doing the same exact thing that this guy was doing but it is because of the newness. I partially understand that but at the same time it is still a baseball bat to your ego and pride when you see the woman that you love being aesthetic  and going wild under another man’s cock and wondering why you cannot do the same for her when you are doing the exact same thing or even worse if your wife is letting this total stranger do things to her that when you asked her to do that in your bedroom she refuses to do . Those are the kind of things that drive men crazy and start making them feel less then. I’ve been reading this forum for awhile, with my wife and even she said that maybe it is just different because it is a different person because she is used to me even though I able to please her, it’s just that a different person is doing it and I was like wow but how am I supposed to feel if you are more excited with this stranger than you are with me and I am your husband and I am the one you love. She said well since we have never had that experience and even though our first experience at the club didn’t go very well because we didn’t stay long because they were acting crazy. We probably will never find out.

 

I think it’s just a ego thing but at the same time  is the hurtful pride that I man feels. I read the stories where the men get all upset whenever women are acting totally different with the stranger than they are with their own husband in their bed and I feel for them because I’m not sure how I would act but I knew it wouldn’t be good. I’m not even sure I would be able to look at my wife again if she acted like a wild animal under another dude but then was less active with me.

[MidwestHoneys 358]

11 hours ago, 10thBadger said:

think it’s just a ego thing but at the same time  is the hurtful pride that I man feels. I read the stories where the men get all upset whenever women are acting totally different with the stranger than they are with their own husband in their bed and I feel for them because I’m not sure how I would act but I knew it wouldn’t be good. I’m not even sure I would be able to look at my wife again if she acted like a wild animal under another dude but then was less active with me.

Dude, you sure have so many negative comments. You’re not a swinger, don’t do it, find another page to post on. Nobody wants to read your negativity over and over again. Where do you get the time to post so much. 
 

Having your wife enjoy another man says more about your insecurities which means swinging is not for you. It’s a shame you can’t let her enjoy, maybe watching her enjoy will make you better. 
 

I read this before, do you get upset if your wife enjoys eating in a restaurant where the chef is a better cook? 

[10thBadger 25]

The fact is my wife and I have a friend that is in the swinger community but I would say more soft core if that’s that’s a word. He has taken us to a club and it was not a good experience because something happened bad at the club the first time. My friend also told my wife an hour to look at the site and just read the good and bad. I myself really don’t care if others enjoy it because if you enjoy something with your partner and it is working out for you. That’s cool!!

 

 But at the same time when I see stuff on here and I just comment or my wife and I jointly comment and we discussed things that we have read on here, we are just expressing our opinion just like everyone else. My wife and I have thought about it several times to try to go to the club again but that experience freaked her out so bad that I don’t think she would ever do it and at the same time we both know that we are pretty jealous over each other . My wife especially is jealous and of course I am jealous of my beautiful wife and I’m trying to get my mind around the fact of sharing her or me being shared. That’s why we read the form.

 

Now I have seen mini veterans in here come and say that they are tired of hearing all the good stories and that many people that are in the community always want to tell the great things about what happens and always try to convert others who have had bad experiences. I think it was the person who started the site that came on there and said to several veteran members That it is good that so many come in here and expressed their opinions of positivity but at the same time it is even better for others to show the Darkside of this community and let the newbies know what they are up against so that if they do decide to try, they have pitfalls of which they can avoid . She said it was almost like a what to do and what Dont to do. So that if they do try they will have a good time and not be discouraged because somebody did something cool to them. 
 

so when I am expressing my opinion or my wife expressing her opinion on why somebody did this is merely just us pondering what we have saw in the positive area and why these people broke these so-called golden rules which we see all the time. My wife said yesterday evening that everybody talks about these rules that they are supposed to follow and then in the heat of the moment they threw all these rules away and do something that hurts their partner and then thinks that’s OK and just talk about it and try it again. The rules are supposed to be the bedrock and foundation and that leads to the trust but it seems like  so many people don’t follow those rules and then someone ends up getting hurt and then the person that didn’t follow the rules as I was trying to convince the other person that it was just a minor blip on the screen and to just roll with the punches which is not what others are saying about the rules that protect each other. That’s her words and not mine .

 

It’s not to say that we are interested because we are but at the same time we are learning and then commenting on what we have read. Now if someone wants to get butt hurt over the fact that we comment because we see something that is very interesting or we see something that is hurtful and we are wondering why or why does person has excuses for what they did when it is obvious that they are either not telling the truth or dare trying to paint a colorful picture to make them not look as bad. There’s so be it. That is the reason why they have this forum. No the people get butt hurt over the fact that we are not full on swingers.. And that they get hurt that we comment because we are not full on swingers. Dude I guess the supervisors website needs to change the rules of Who can join and read the website because if the criteria is that you have to be a swinger to comment or do you have an opinion, then that’s cool too and it is understandable to a certain point.

 

Like I said it is interesting to us and like I said the first experience was not a good one at all. Actually it was a very dangerous one but as my friend told me who is in the life that you live at this time swinging, just join this website and read some of the stories and you will see the negative and you will see the positive and then you will see some of the absurd and you will get a laugh at something and then you’ll get a tear out of something else you read. But at the end we are learning and pondering and wondering if we could ever do this very good and solid relationship and haven’t seen some relationship say that their relationship has grown. We have seen some that have been destroyed and reading the site and company we get to Weigh our options. 
 

I hope that clears that up and if it doesn’t that’s cool too. Badger out!!

[10thBadger 25]

Oh I forgot to address the question that you gave me. My insecurities, why does it have to be my insecurities. Maybe it is just a feeling that I have that I don’t think I will be able to share my wife like so many that are not in this lifestyle. Why does everything have to be something is wrong with that person if they disagree with sharing the spouse To another human being. I have seen many of you speak like this to others peoples and say there’s something wrong with you if you’re not willing to share the one you love, there must be something wrong with you lol. Don’t you hate when people say to you how in the hell can you share your spouse, there must be something wrong with you lol

 

Each of us are different and there is no right or wrong, is whether you are willing to or not. Some of us just can’t understand it or just can’t imagine how we would feel if we shared the one you love with someone else. I cannot express how I would feel at this time and what I believe might be late would be knowing myself. My wife does the same thing when she comments. It’s not that we are wrong, it’s not that we are different, it’s just that we are who we are and we are only here to learn  because we’ve heard so many other good stories about people who have made it work and we’re going to hell? How are these people doing it. We aren’t judging because if that’s what you want to do that’s cool with us. We’re just wondering how you can get into the mindset of doing something like that without destroying something that you already have that is wonderful.  That’s all I’m saying.

 

So no I don’t have any insecurities, I am a pretty confident damn man. Have you been in the military for 26 years, I have seen a lot and done a lot but at the same time I am willing to look at what other people are doing and if it sounds like everything I’m saying is negative , it really isn’t meant to be that way but if it seems that way to you then hey you can’t please everyone and I’m not really sure I am here to please everyone and to make everybody like me. That is not the goal of my wife and I reading  and learning from the site. Have a good one. Badger out

[lcmim 1,082]

Different??

We all are to one extent or another.

 

Wrong??

Not wired that way? Good for you in realizing that. 

Considering it is one thing. It shows a natural curiosity.

Deciding to or not to is a developmental process. What you decide is irrelevant as to rightness or wrongness by any objective standard.

Right or wrong FOR YOU is the issue.

I do not see anyone here criticizing people who do not go our route.

I do see, often, the comment that many are not so wired, and should just realize it and stay away for their own and others welfare.

Another thing that I see is the constant refrain that BOTH members of a couple need to be on the same page, regardless of what that page happens to be. This group is very supportive of honest, transparent, and clear communication between spouses.

Edited December 9, 2021 by lcmim

[MidwestHoneys 358]

1 hour ago, 10thBadger said:

no I don’t have any insecurities, I am a pretty confident damn man. Have you been in the military for 26 years,

Thanks for your service. Have you been checked for PTSD? 
 

Insecurities, jealousy or maybe just selfishness. I think it’s great that Honey can enjoy herself without me being involved. Sure I love being with her sharing her enjoyments, sharing meals, movies, concerts and sex, I don’t have to be there for her to enjoy. If she meets some guy or chick and comes home I'm happy for her. If a guy fucks her better and she has a huge cum, I’m thrilled for her. If she meets a chick she thinks I would enjoy she shares it the chick wants it. 
 

Looks like you don’t know how to let her enjoy which is fine if she is fine with. Til you experience it you won’t know. 
 

[10thBadger 25]

Well, that is where we see differently. I presently do not have that kind of thinking and neither does my wife. We are just very interested in how people are able to do this and to be plainly obvious and truthful. The only reason that we are on here is because a friend of ours Took us to a club and showed us that environment. We were baffled at the same time stand near looking and saying wow how can you do this. We were not judging but we were just amazed that people were able to separate love from sex with other people.

 

 Yes to answer your question I have a check for PTSD and everyone has that comes back from combat. I was checked when I was in the Ranger Battalion and while in 10th group. And yes we get checked always and I have 17 combat tours. 
 

but like I said you just have a different way of looking at things as I have a different way of looking at things but at least I am trying to look at your point of you but at the same time it is rather hard to imagine this is something that we would do but as I stated before It did spark an interest that my wife and I are researching for not a better word. My wife keeps saying no way, I still don’t understand the mindset. I too am on the same page as her because it’s almost like testing a relationship Strength and hopes to see if it doesn’t break and some couples are able to do that and some are not. 
 

but to say the problem with my wife and I is that we have insecurities, selfishness and jealousy because we don’t think the same way as others it’s pretty childish. Most of the comments that I make is when somebody tries to sugarcoat breaking the rules of their swinger relationship and then making light of the fact that their partner Somehow needs to grow up and just roll with the punches. The rules that you set are not supposed to be broken, just on a whim or a passing errotic event. That is when both are in my wife call bullshit.

 

Like right now we are reading about a man who is about to break up with his wife of 25 or 28 years because she finally said that she has been doing this for him and not because she liked swinging. We are reading all the responses because they are telling him that he has been selfish and not being correct with his wife and then summer saying hey is this is the life you want to live then you might want to try to find another woman but at the same time he is saying that he loves her and doesn’t want to lose her but doesn’t want to lose the lifestyle because he is addicted to the lifestyle and the pleasure that he was happy within the lifestyle. It is very interesting to us because we’re trying to see where this is going and how is this guy going to react to being blazed by some very veteran members Of this site. And it has been harsh to say the least. They blasted him harder than I ever would’ve blessed somebody on here.

 

Like everybody says this lifestyle is not for everyone and if you’re able to block out any feelings about your wife having sex with other men and you were happy with it. Good for you but it doesn’t mean that anyone else is less than if they are not comfortable with sharing the spouse. Julie just said that in her peace where she was speaking with this guy and a lot of people agree with her. And I think she is a veteran member or the person who started this website  but I can’t be sure because I’m still navigating this website slowly and trying to figure out how to get to certain places.

 

Have a good one, badger out 

[shy_couple 459]

2 hours ago, 10thBadger said:

badger out 

Oh, if it were only true….

 

Where is the ignore use option?

[MidwestHoneys 358]

2 hours ago, shy_couple said:

Oh, if it were only true….

 

Where is the ignore use option?

Go to the lines on the right top, then settings, ignore users and put the account you want to ignore