New to it all and I am not desirable, should I just give up?

[SnF2930 27]

My hubby and I decided to try swinging and see how it goes. Well as I was looking around at posts and pics from other people I started to realize there was no hope for me lol. I don't have a desirable body after having 3 kids and my body never bounced back. You pretty much need one if you decide to share your body with someone lol. My hubby is excited to start our new adventure but now I am bummed out that no one will want me...not even him. So now what?

[wearetheone1967 40]

STOP IT! Sometimes, it is the person inside that makes you beautiful, not the physical. Yes, the physical is a part of it, but a thin attractive, "beautiful person" can be SO ugly inside.

 

My wife has given me 8 kids and it isn't stopping her. I am way overweight, but I still forge ahead.

 

Don't judge yourself against the pictures of others. Just be yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised!

 

At any rate, welcome aboard. We hope you enjoy you stay, and "Hello", from Green Bay, Wisconsin!

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Hello, SnF2930, and welcome to SwingersBoard!

 

I'm Mr. CoupleInMD79, but I think I understand the sentiment that you are expressing. I think many people, women and men both, have a concern that they will not be seen as attractive or sexy by others. But I'm here to tell you that the swinger community is made up of real people, just like you and me, and we come in all shapes and sizes! Some of the hottest play times I've had have been with people who are not "model beautiful", but who are nonetheless very sexy- in the way they smile, the glint of naughty fun in their eye, how they carry themselves, their laugh, their confidence, and the way they make people feel comfortable.

 

My wife never believed that she was attractive, or sexy, or "hot", even if I told her so. She always assumed that I "had to say that, because you're married to me." And, according to those damned height/weight tables, she is overweight, factually speaking. It was tough at first for her to dress sexy, thinking that she was not attractive enough to make herself really look hot. But since we have been in the lifestyle, she has heard about how hot she is from a lot of guys (and not a few women, too!), and I think she is finally starting to believe it!

 

Have you two put up a profile on any of the swinger sites like SLS, SDC, SZC, Kasidie, APG, or Quiver? Have you posted any pictures of yourself in your profile, on one of those sites (or here, actually)? If you have, I'm curious to hear what kinds of feedback you've gotten, if any.

 

One other thing in your post made me worry a little. You expressed some concern that even your husband might not want you. Has he said anything to suggest that this is the case? And how is your sex life these days- are you having sex very much? When you do, does it appear then like your husband finds you attractive and sexy?

 

Welcome aboard, and I hope to hear back from you!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

First, I want to WELCOME you to Swingersboard. And it's good that you started by posting an incisive question.

 

If all you are seeing in swingers' pictures are "The Beautiful People", you have not looked into the right places. The pictures that my wife and I see at swingers' Web sites like SLS or SZC reflect a cross section of the north American population; young, old; tall, short; hour-glass shape, pear shape. And if a woman has an "apron" or stretch marks after bearing children, she does not ask her husband to post a picture showing such. But believe me when I say that I have had the pleasure of "unwrapping" a playmate for the first time and seeing things that were not displayed in in a profile picture, having complete comfort with that revelation, of course.

 

You should not, of course, do anything that puts you ill at ease. You might need to investigate things a little further or you might find that you will not like it at all. You say that you and your husband came to a mutual decision. Which of you was the first to bring up the idea? How was the idea first presented?

[Alura 2,775]

from Oklahoma to the Swingers Board, SnF! We're glad to have you here.

 

While I don't feel your weight will rule out your success in swinging, I'd still like to encourage you to try to change that. My late wife was quick to blame her weight increase for her breast cancer. While I can't say definitively that was the cause, she read a library of books on the illness, so I'll leave that to her. I won't encourage you to lose weight in order to swing, but I will encourage you to do it for your health.

 

My best wishes to you and your husband in swinging!

[njbm 2,906]

I am on a hospital and Doctor supervised weight loss program. I started it about 3 week ago and I've lost over 12 lbs. I am doing it for health and appearance reasons. If it helps in swinging, all the better.

 

I am good at losing and gaining, not so good at maintaining. But it is a thought to try to lose weight.

 

I agree with the previous posters. Some people are not traditionally attractive, but are sexy and desirable nonetheless. Hope your husband appreciates you and only swing if you both want to.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Welcome to the Swingers Board!

 

Please don't take this wrong...but, you're wrong Swingers are very much just everyday people, and that means scars, stretch marks, extra pounds, etc., and speaking personally, that's what makes it sexy and fun, you can see them as a real person just like you see yourself as a real person. As mentioned above, sexy and attractive comes from inside. No amount of pretty wrapping paper can hide something that's ugly inside, and no amount of plain brown heavy paper can keep the light that is inside from shining through if it is just allowed to shine.

 

Regarding the pics, at least on the sites we frequent, I can't say that we've really seen that much other than obvious fake profiles. The profiles where you can tell there is a real couple behind it just from the way it is written, then their pics show a real couple too. If you are talking about ads for swinger clubs, resorts, etc. then just remember that advertising isn't selling reality, it's selling fantasy.

 

I promise you, you will be wanted. Will you be wanted by everyone, no, nobody is, just like you won't want everyone that you see. There's nothing personal to it, attraction is just a funny and unpredictable thing that you can't predict ahead of time just based on some set criteria for appearance or whatever.

 

Just be yourself, focus on just having fun and not some set expectations, and everything else will fall into place.

[love2dp 53]

Post a pic, I will be honest but gentle and not rude. I will tell you if I would fuck you or not as an unbiased answer. I've been with ALL sized and looks of women. From skinny to huge, and so beautiful every one looks at her even other women. I can guarantee you a fat huge obese woman's pussy feels just as good as a smoking hot stunning woman's pussy does. A fat woman has to do a lot more hygiene cleaning down there. DO NOT prefer fat women, but I will fuck the shit out of one if she has a cute face and a halfway decent ass. I don't care your shape. If you don't have at least a half way decent ass I'm not interested. I like doggy style so a decent as has to be had. And a clean smell and odor too. Nothing more of a boner killer then a pussy that's not cleaned properly. Not being rude here, just being honest and talking openly.

[SnF2930 27]

Wow! Thank you all for replying! I really appreciate each of your responses! Yeah we do have pros on Quiver and SLS ! Snf2930 on Quiver and Newnncurious on SLS.

 

I was the first one to bring up the option of swinging. We haven't been having sex a lot and my needs weren't getting met! I have talked to him numerous times about why we weren't physical and he would just IDK. So I thought maybe he just doesn't want sex with me so I gave him the swinging option to maybe spice things up a little. I have always wanted to be with another woman also. I work out but it's just not helping with the loose skin part and it's been difficult to lose the lbs.

 

You all are so supportive and thank you so much! We are still pretty awkward at this whole thing. So I guess we will learn as we go lol

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

You all are so supportive and thank you so much! We are still pretty awkward at this whole thing. So i guess we will learn as we go lol

I appreciate the courage that you show in bringing up such personal subjects in a public forum. I believe it shows your determination to put things right.

 

It also appears to me that your husband is the primary source of your poor self image. A relationship should not be in such a state while entering into or actively engaged in swing lifestyle. Lifestyle has a funny way of amplifying problems. This might include but not be limited to your having an adverse reaction should you see him having a good time with a woman while knowing that he has been neglecting you.

 

On the other hand, the flattery that comes with having men pay attention to you can boost a self image. I recommend fixing things with your husband first.

 

Your profile at SLS does not, by the way, come up in a search. This is sometimes the case when a profile is new, you have been more than thirty days since logging on, or when somebody did not know to turn off the "block couples" feature attendant to the profile.

 

Sincerely,

 

~Michael

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Wow! Thank you all for replying! I really appreciate each of your responses! Yeah we do have pros on Quiver and SLS ! Snf2930 on Quiver and Newnncurious on SLS.

OK, so I was able to see your profiles, on both sites. I don't know whether to give you a big, reassuring hug, or kick you in the butt, woman! You are no-kidding, no shit, no foolin' smokin hot!! Between your beautiful face, and your hot red hair, you would have not one single speck of trouble attracting more people than you can handle. I noticed that you didn't list your weight on SLS, but you did on Quiver. And I will tell you that, as one example only, I have been completely turned on by women who weighed a hell of a lot more than you do! So let's put that issue to bed, give it a drink of water, and kiss it goodnight!

 

All that said, I also have some of the same concerns for you two as SW_PA_Couple has. For a couple, swinging can be something of a relationship minefield, with potential marriage-exploding stresses and problems lurking everywhere. You two will need a solid relationship, built upon mutual trust and respect, and characterized by open and honest communication. You'll need that firm foundation in order to navigate the minefield together, help each other avoid the mines, and defuse the ones you can't avoid.

 

One good place to start might be to sit down together and really dig into the question of why your husband does not seem as interested in sex with you as you want him to be. Does he find you less appealing somehow? Have you had children, and now he has trouble thinking of you as the sexy woman he married in addition to the mother of his kids? Is his appetite simply less than yours? Does he feel pressured to have sex, and turned off by that pressure? Is he just bored?

 

I understand that he answers your queries on this topic with an "I don't know", but that needs to be the beginning of the conversation, not the end of it. He may legitimately not be able to put his finger on the reasons, in which case talking over the subject, maybe giving him a few of the suggestions above, might help to clarify his feelings for both of you. On the other hand, he may in fact have a good idea why he feels this way, but is angry or feels his reason might hurt you to know. But I believe you both have to be willing to work through this issue, whatever the reasons, in order to be in a good place to begin swinging. As the Bonnie Raitt song says, take a deep breath and look under that rock!

 

I wish you two good luck in this endeavor! If you build your swinging activities on a solid relationship foundation, then you will find that swinging will bring you two closer together, and improve your marriage as it has for many of us.

[Mbgdallas 203]

Woman. Get ahold of yourself. You are smokin hot.

 

I am outside of your age range but would meet with you in a heartbeat.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Welcome, SnF2930. I have seen that you have shared your profile names and I did take a peek as well. You are gorgeous. But even before taking a peek, I knew how you felt because I was in your shoes four years ago! I also have three kids and worried about being desirable with the stretch marks, cellulite, and loose skin. You have nothing to fear, dear.

[SnF2930 27]

Hey everyone! I appreciate all your replies! Thank you. I didn't mean to put my husband in such bad light. I guess I was having a weak moment. I took some of your advice and we talked this more and the specifics and how we both felt about our situation and our body image! He assured me that I am very beautiful and is still extremely attracted me and the stretch marks and weight have nothing to do with my beauty. He said if I didn't want to proceed with this then it would be no problem to quit. I feel better now that we are on the same page. I see now that it was just me and my insecurities. I let him know I would still like to explore. Thank you guys for the compliments! but most of all thank you for your help.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I'm so glad to hear that you guys have talked this out!

 

So, about you and hubby not having as much sex as you wanted... are you happy with your mutual understanding of that situation? Do you figure on that situation changing going forward, swinging aside?

 

I'm happy that you both have been willing to dig in and explore your feelings more. I think a lot of people believe that swinging is exclusively about sharing hot fantasies with your partner and your swinging friends. And it is a lot about that, but it is also about sharing your fears, insecurities, and turn-offs with your partner, along with the fantasies, dreams, and turn-ons. Whatever happens between you two and anybody else in the future, you have already taken a great step by opening your communication more!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I too am happy that you have adjusted your compass and trimmed your sails. Happy to learn that your relationship with your husband is better than I originally perceived. Sunbuckus' observations are, I believe, especially cogent. Hope that you are ready to go forward.

[Mbgdallas 203]

One thing to remember... Most of what you see in magazines and photos is all airbrushed to what we have been led to believe is perfection. We have been given a false expectation and rarely do we find those naturally. Porn has also mislead us into believing that all women orgasm massively, all men have big cocks, and shoot big loads. Not true.

 

So I have always thought I was small. Well compared to porn stars and stories that is true. But being in some other sites that have real pictures of real people that they are posting I have learned that the majority of the men on there are not so different than me and that I am really pretty average. I just have to pay attention.

 

I also noticed when sitting 10 feet from college cheerleaders doing their thing, women who are in great shape and prime of their physical life, have flab and stretch marks. It is not uncommon when you get up close and it is not airbrushed.

 

So... What I am trying to say is I have learned my expectations were to high and that I am really pretty normal. Once I got my head around that everything else came together.

[econobiker 165]

SnF2930,

 

It's not about the body but its about the attitude. I have partied with women of all shapes and weights ages 25 to 63. Scars, tattoos, stretch marks, false teeth, big breasts, small breasts, tall, short, skinny to obsese. It's all about the attitude of the lady.

 

My wife Red is a perfect example of this- 5'8" smaller bbw very apple shaped -thin legs, larger stomach, flat butt, and small bust. But she always had guys (and some girls) flirting with her and attempting to bed her down at the swing parties we used to cohost. It was and is about her attitude.

 

Keep up reading here, and asking questions, and sharing with your husband.

 

Regards, econo of econo and Red

[AngelandTiger 364]

I echo what has been said here. I don't have much to add to all of the great advice (imagine that, Tiger without new advice). The people here are spot on. Trust me, they KNOW.

 

My motivation to actually add a post to this thread was somewhat single-minded. I simply had to let you know that I think that you are 100% absolutely GORGEOUS. Seriously, drop-dead gorgeous. If you lived near us, we would have jumped at the chance to meet you in a fraction of a heartbeat.

 

Thanks for letting us see your profile. It was certainly worth the search.

[SwingAcademic 22]

Can you post a picture here on Swingersboard? I'm asking because I don't have memberships to the other sites, as I'm not in the Lifestyle currently, just here looking for information. But I am curious to see what someone looks like who though she wasn't attractive, while others strongly disagreed.

[AskMeOk 148]

OK, you made me look and I have to admit, I was prepared to be a bit disappointed.

 

Girl, you are absolutely a hottie! Get out there and mingle, I can't imagine ANYBODY turning you down.... ever.

 

I would make one constructive criticism. Everything (other than the pics) that make(s) me want to desperately head you over to the bedroom door is what I read... and, frankly, there isn't a lot to read. Revisit your profile and talk us through why we can't live without your sex and/or friendship....

 

Another thing you may not realize is that you are hot enough to be intimidating to some guys. You might need to be a bit more aggressive to get them out of their shell......

[EastInWest 1,524]

Came in here to see what all the fuss was about.

 

Whoever convinced you that you are not desirable played a mean trick on you. (It wasn't you, was it?)

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

We want to disagree with everything said by everyone else. We agree with you that you just aren't that desirable and that nobody else would want you. We, however, are feeling in a particularly generous mood today and are willing, purely out of our own great sympathy, to give you a chance (we are seemingly always chasing after lost causes and have decided to make you our latest). Don't listen to what anyone else here says, they are all lairs anyway. We're heading to the airport now and should be there in about three hours. We're hoping that you can provide transportation...

 

Seriously, you are hot. Also (and if you search you will find out) that some men and couples PREFER women that have curves (although we can't tell from your pictures if you do or not). In the L/S there is every body type imaginable and very few (as in I haven't ever heard anyone say they couldn't eventually find someone to play with) who are left out. If you are just trying to get people to say you look great, you've succeeded. If you really feel the way you seem to, then listen to what everyone has said. Either way, I'm sure you will do just fine...

[SnF2930 27]

Hey guys! I have tried to reply a few times and each time i tried to post it failed. Anyways yeah it was me making myself think that. My husband tells me all the time how gorgeous i am but i am not sure why i feel this way. Thank you all for you input and advice i really do appreciate it. I think it may take me a minute to get used to showing my body to others lol. After all we have been together for 13 yrs lol (16,17 yrs old) and haven't been with anyone else.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

It's okay to remind yourself that you are a sexy desirable woman, it can be part of the journey. For the last so many years you have been mom and dad instead of lovers and sexual people. This is just a step on the trip. Accept it and take the next step. Glad to have the beautiful, sexy woman you are back.

[econobiker 165]

Hey guys! I have tried to reply a few times and each time i tried to post it failed. Anyways yeah it was me making myself think that. My husband tells me all the time how gorgeous i am but i am not sure why i feel this way. Thank you all for you input and advice i really do appreciate it. I think it may take me a minute to get used to showing my body to others lol. After all we have been together for 13 yrs lol (16,17 yrs old) and haven't been with anyone else.

 

Even being NON-sexually nude in front of other people is difficult for some people especially if you've never been involved in say, school or college group sports or a workplace requiring changing clothing or showering with same gender team mates or coworkers. And how your family of origin was or not open about nudity affects how you feel. Then your feelings can compound doubly so when you're asked to be sexually or erotically nude in front of other adults if you've never been involved with relationships with other people before.

 

One way to get comfortable in being nude without the swinging component is to go to a nude beach if you can access one. Then you'll find out that there are people who you would not have thought should be nude are out there bare-ass nekkid! As soon as you might think "I've got a few stretch marks from having a couple babies.", you'll see another woman who looks like she had carried multiple litters of babies, while bouncing on a trampoline, while in the sun outside, and without sun burn protection...

 

You'll be ok, just keep comfortable.

[datzme4ya 18]

If anything ... this is probably my biggest fear too. After having 3 kiddos my body is definitely not my ideal & when we started discussing the possibilities of this lifestyle I had to start dealing with my insecurities. I'm nowhere near as body positive about myself as I want to be, but I am slowly coming around to understanding everyone is different & everyone has their own version of what they find attractive. *hugs*

[WSB421 91]

Have to reiterate what people have already posted here, you and your husband are among the most attractive people I've seen a profile for. We are also new to this and my wife has many of the same (misguided)insecurities you do. We are within your age range but too damn far away. The four of us meeting would have been mutually beneficial I believe, for the confidence of the female parties at the very least.

 

Also, when reading this forum underline anything sunbuckus or SW_PA_Couple have to say. They are like guiding lights helping you through a dense forest.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Go to a nudist beach or resort and most of anyone's body issues will be re-leaved. Swingers (and nudists) are not just the 'beautiful people', but the every day people (there's more everyday people than beautiful people...it's just a numbers game). Ten minutes at a nudist anything and you'll be saying to yourself 'I'm really not that bad'...and you most likely are not. Real women HAVE curves and are more beautiful because of them.

[twoormoretotango 35]

This is the Wifey half of the couple: babe, I hope you're Bi because I think you are HOT! I have body image issues too, 3 kids, age marches on, but I have been really surprised at how attitude trumps everything. Naughty in N'Awlins is a great place to see an overview of the LS world, since you have about 900 couples all together in a hotel takeover in a hotel on Bourbon so you get to see a WIDE range of ages, sizes, looks, personalities, etc.

 

Here's a little secret: The people in the swinging lifestyle are the most non-judgemental, welcoming, accepting, affirming people you'll ever meet. And a woman with a great attitude of lets have fun! is always attractive and never has a problem connecting! Our first NiN, I thought, with my being a bit on the older side and bigger side, we'll probably end up just having fun with each other in a really great, sexual, sexy environment and that will be great. The odds of actually connecting with someone else, I thought, when everyone has their choice of all the great bods out there, are pretty low.

 

Well. to our surprise, every night we were there (and also once at noon!) we played with great couples. In fact, on Saturday night we had 3 couples in our room and had the kind of night I only fantasized about! The kind where afterwards Hubby and I looked at each other and said "Did this week really happen??" And from a pure physical point of view, you'd easily beat me in "hot" points!

 

You are going to be very pleasantly surprised. First - you are HOT. No kidding. Secondly, the swinging lifestyle has given me more affirmations and made me feel better about myself than anything else I can think of. Have fun!!!

[SnF2930 27]

Thanks again guys! Not gonna lie it feels nice to hear compliments but even better that someone can relate!

 

Is there any advice you could give us on safety tips, how to approach others, what to wear when going to a swinger club? Anything and everything helps! Thank you so much!

[sunbuckus 3,569]

SnF2930 said:

Thanks again guys! Not gonna lie it feels nice to hear compliments but even better that someone can relate!

 

Is there any advice you could give us on safety tips, how to approach others, what to wear when going to a swinger club? Anything and everything helps! Thank you so much!

 

If you're asking about safety tips regarding being at a swingers club, they have rules for everyone to abide by. No means no. Always ask before touching. And a variety of others, depending on the club (like if they require all doors to stay open or not). If anyone isn't following the rules, it is imperative to let the club hosts/owners know so they can deal with it. They have a financial incentive in wanting to maintain a safe environment for swingers or else the swingers will no longer patron that club.

 

As for approaching others, I'd say a simple, "Hi, my name is SnF2930, and this is Mr. Snf2930, my husband." Maybe add in a compliment about their clothes/shoes/hair/jewelry or comment that you two saw them across the room and wanted to introduce yourselves.

 

Some clubs do theme nights or have a dress code. Each club is different so it's best to call the club to make sure. Most of the time, you can't go wrong with a nice dress and perhaps slacks for the male. In our area, jeans are acceptable but I have heard from other members that jeans are not in their locale.

 

I highly recommend checking out the Swinging at Clubs, Socials, and Hotels forum as well as the Dress to Impress forum. And even the archives! If you have any questions after looking there, you can always start a new thread in the appropriate forum.

[eruditesdw 29]

Right to the point I would say.

[SnF2930 27]

Thank you

I guess there arent a whole lot of swinger clubs here in Colorado. It has actually been a little annoying trying to find people online also around my area.

But ill keep with it i guess.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Thank you

I guess there arent a whole lot of swinger clubs here in Colorado. It has actually been a little annoying trying to find people online also around my area.

But ill keep with it i guess.

I understand your frustration with meeting people online! I have to tell you, we have not actually met anyone through Quiver. So far, Quiver has seemed mostly like a way to flirt and share pictures, for people who live so far apart that there is very little chance they'll ever meet in person. Hopefully that will change as they attract more members.

 

I would like to think you would be having more luck through SLS. There may be more chaff to sort through there, but also more people who really want to meet! Have you joined, or been invited to join, any of the groups on SLS who hold meet-and-greets? As annoying as this process may sometimes be, there is a rather nice potential payoff!

 

Since I'm posting, I thought I'd also make a mention about dressing for clubs. When the Mrs. and I go to a club, it's usually on a "double date" with another couple. When the club is having a theme night, we like to have fun dressing according to the theme, with the Mrs. dressing in a sexy variation on the theme, of course. On other nights, I dress in a nice collared button-down shirt (often clubs have a "no t-shirt" dress code for guys), decent jeans or slacks, and shoes (not sneakers- also a common club rule). Oh, and also some kind of sexy or tiny underwear... The Mrs. generally wears something presentable to the public on the way to the club, but packs a few very sexy dresses in our "play bag" that we bring with us. Once safely inside the club, she will change into one of her tight dresses, with lots of slits or cutouts in it, high-heel shoes (Come Fuck Me shoes, or CFMs!), and maybe sexy panties- or maybe go commando! Now if that dress should, for any reason, come off over the course of the evening, she might put on a different one afterwards. By the way, one place she goes to shop online for these dresses is yandy.com.

 

We are not really the ones to give you very expert advice about how to meet people "cold" in the clubs. I think we kinda suck at that, to be honest! One thing about some clubs is that there is a regular crowd, many of whom know each other for a long time. So it can seem to a new person like a clique-ish atmosphere sometimes. But if you come across as friendly and happy, I'm sure you will be OK.

 

One "social convention" that applies in clubs is about the playroom doors. If you go into a playroom, and leave the door open behind you, that is a way of inviting others to stop by. So if you and your guy go into a playroom, and start going at it with the door open, you might attract an audience! Anyone interested in watching would simply watch, and those who you've inspired to want to participate would ask if it's all right to come in and join you, and even then, would still ask if it's OK to touch, etc. If you feel like you want people to watch, but not join in, just politely decline their request to come in. And if you want to be left to your own devices, simply close the door behind you, and people won't barge in. Don't worry, you'll still be able to hear everyone else through the walls or over the open ceiling between rooms (very common, in our experience), and they will be able to hear you!

 

However you meet people, I do hope you enjoy yourselves. And if you ever find your sexy self here in the DC/Baltimore area, be sure to look us up!

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Just about everyone we've met is more than happy to talk with others, especially if they are looking for information. A great way to approach another couple is 'hey, we're new and looking for info and saw you two and thought we would like to talk with you'.

 

Other rules (but these are more personal rules). Never move faster than the slowest member is comfortable with. Set limits before hand and honor them...no changing them until the two of you can discuss them IN PRIVATE. Go with no expectations other than just having an enjoyable evening. Always have a 'secret code' for your partner to know that you are not interested or want to leave (for us it's asking the other if they remembered to feed the animals...we have more than a few animals).

[SnF2930 27]

Thanks for guidance! Yeah the sites are pretty slow. The groups on SLS seem deserted. Along with your advice ive been looking up videos,info,research on a lot if this. Some people have a twisted idea of what this lifestyle is all about. Lol

But i found this OPENLOVE videos that have been kind of helpful. Its a swinger couple called Jon and Jackie and they can be interesting.

I have been looking for the meet and greets but they clubs that have it are pretty expensive. Is it typical for a club to charge 100$ per couple for one theme night? Its called Scarlet Ranch. It looks like a very classy place but not sure if i wanna throw away that money..

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . I have been looking for the meet and greets but they clubs that have it are pretty expensive. Is it typical for a club to charge 100$ per couple for one theme night? Its called Scarlet Ranch. It looks like a very classy place but not sure if i wanna throw away that money..

Clubs do host meet-n-greet events, but the events around my area are the kind that have no door fee or charge for admission. It is a funny thing about SLS but information about actual no-charge meets-and-greets are found in just about any of the tab categories HotDate, Clubs, Socials, Parties, Travel , SLS Groups, Other. People seem to take very little care to list them under a proper title and club owners make a big effort to make sure that their very expensive events are seen in all seven categories. Might be different for Denver but the actual meet-n-greet activities in my region are found in "SLS Groups" and "Other". Example: a local bar named Rooster's Roadhouse has no-charge Friday night events but you have to join the SLS group called Rooster's Roadhouse to learn which Friday nights. It might have been more helpful if the group had originally been named Rooster Roadhouse Meet and Greet but that's not what happened.

 

I recommend this: Click on the "Groups" link in the left-hand column of the SLS main page. Another page will open in a new browser tab. Under the Groups by Location title, click on Colorado. Click on the "Social" link under the "Clubs + Groups" subtitle. Some of the groups that you see listed are commercial interests in disguise but some will be genuine people-just-trying-to-meet people groups that host actual group events.