Profiles That Rub You.....Not in a Good Way

[AngelandTiger 364]

Hi,

 

Well, it's spring and we are gearing up for, what tends to be for us, the swing season. Kids are going to be getting out of school (5 teens at home makes for VERY little free time during the school year), and the weather is getting warm enough to take our 4 layers of long underwear off. In our couplehood, I am the "screener"...the Social Media Butterfly....the person who sends and receives messages on line (I want to learn to receive massages on line, but it's slow going....). When I find someone that seems a good match, be it couple or single, we'll exchange pleasantries and chat a bit about what we are interested in, swap pics and set up a meeting (contingent, of course, on Angel's agreement). I usually wind up sending out SLS email (we're only on SLS because it's best for our area...and we have only one regular "meet and greet" near us, and it's iffy. So, I tend to spend some time each day perusing profiles.

 

Some things just rub me the wrong way...elitist profiles, ageist profiles (and I'm not talking about people setting their age range, I'm talking about in your face "don't contact us if you're x years old....that's just gross" kind of stuff. Some profiles are great, some annoy, and others are just so so.

 

Here's a classic (I'll use NO names here):

 

"Tall, muscular guy looking to take you down hard".

 

That's the sum total of the profile.

 

Here's another:

 

Just joined up here. Looking for fun with HWP girls only...fatties don't waist[sic] my time. If you think your[sic] fat, YOU ARE.

 

Finally, one I came across today. Think they don't want any single guys?

 

Looking For:

Please read our profile and if you think your a fit please contact us. please height and weight proportion. (ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE GUYS!!!!)

(MUST HAVE PHOTOS NO PHOTOS NO RESPONSE! !!!!

We are looking for people to have adult fun with. Full swap only and we will read your profile. No single guys. sorry

We also ask to remain together as a couple

(ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE GUYS!!!!)

One more thing must be HWP

We are not bed jumpers.

Looking for friends to play with on regular basis.

 

Description:

Both of us are attractive. My wife is vary horny and is a squirter and I been told that I'm vary good in the bedroom.

She has no off button and he is very willing to please.

We are both clean D/D

Both of us have had limited experiences in the swinging lifestyle but are existed to share some time with others. Swapping is fine but we ask to stay in the same room.

Protection is a must. Non negotiable.

No P/P

No S&M

No Back Door.except for her husband.

(ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE GUYS!!!!)

We are not bed jumpers.

Looking for friends to play with on regular basis.

 

Fantasies and / or real experiences:

My wife is BI curious but she likes sex with guys more.

She has had the pleasure of being with a women only once and would like to explore some more.

(ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE GUYS!!!!)

We are not bed jumpers.

Looking for friends to play with on regular basis.

 

Additional comments and things to do, see, hear or learn about:

Must use protection and be discreet.

Condoms!

(ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE GUYS!!!!)

(MUST HAVE PHOTOS NO PHOTOS NO RESPONSE! !!!!)

We are not bed jumpers.

Looking for friends to play with on regular basis.

 

Soooooooo....what are some of your "faves"?? Anything that irritates, annoys, makes you laugh...cringe......throw up in your mouth a little?

 

And, for reference, we're angelandtiger on SLS, so please do look at our profile and crucify us as well......we can take it.

 

No, really...we can take it. You wanna come over?

 

T

[WSB421 91]

This is funny and actually a thread that is long overdue. One pet peeve of mine is any attempt at being clever by replacing come with cum in a profile. If there was a clever joke to be made there someone would have struck gold by now, just don't!

[AngelandTiger 364]

I often wonder about that fun HWP.....what exactly do they mean? Some people say, "We're HWP and expect same". HWP may mean anything from emaciated to morbidly obese, depending on the eye of the HWP beholder. I love women of all sizes, shapes, skin tone and nail length. I am bi, and our profile says so, so I like guys bodies of different sizes too..yes, those of different sizes TOO. However, I sense a certain militancy in some HWP people.....

 

"We're HWP and EXPECT THE SAME. Yes, you had BETTER be the same. THE SAME......yes, we need you to be HWP...we work out 22 times a week and GODDAMMIT WE EXPECT THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Wow...too much coffee. Well, you get the idea. It strikes me that many profiles seem to contain lots of negatives...."We don't want"...."No xxx", "We're not into.." instead of good stuff..."We like", "We'd love it if you'd", "We enjoy".... Some seem fairly demanding...and some are just downright condescending...."If we reply to your message, please be prepared to meet, we don't want to waste our time...." yes, I actually read that once.

 

Ok, have at it.

 

T

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I see a surprising number of profiles that take a negative tone also, and it leaves me shaking my head. Why do these people think that listing a lengthy recitation of their "don't likes" is going to attract us to you? It also makes me a little sad to see profiles like this, because I imagine that these folks have likely been burned repeatedly. In particular, I've seen several profiles that contain the "no single guys" declaration over and over, and I can envision these poor people being bombarded by inquiries from single guys, putting that wave-off to single guys in their profile, having it ignored, adding more repetitions, etc.

[njbm 2,871]

Some people have so many demands that no one qualifies. HWP, ten inches, 36Ds. I find people's personality and sexuality more appealing after an initial physical attraction to a wide range of people. Sometimes we say about people we meet in person "if we judged them on their pictures, we would not have had that nice meeting."

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

I've pretty much stopped browsing online entirely and have mostly given up on finding more couple in our area. Pretty much all the profiles are like this and it's a real turn off. If they are not like this, then they are way over exerting the fact that they are looking for single females only in their description. However, they have set in the options they are looking for single females or couples. The description makes it clear they are not looking for couples though. Some say select couples may be considered, but even that makes me wants to just move on.

[enhancer 1,585]

Some things we find laughable!

 

We are an above average looking couple! Thanks for letting us know how attractive we should think you are before even meeting.

 

Must have this size of tits and penis! The good old size kings and queens. Good luck with that.

 

We are professionals! Okay so you have a job and are not a homeless bum.

 

Married cheaters that put they are an honest and respectful guy on their profile! Ah ya don't think so.

 

Single guys that say they like getting blowjobs! Duh really.

 

The people that contact us that have on their profile she likes tall muscular men and he likes tall skinny women with long legs! Did they look at our pics and stats? I am 5 10" with as average of a body as you can get and she is 5 2" and curvy as hell. Don't think we meet your requirements.

 

Couples that are only looking for a female, but the woman is straight! Huh?

[Baconheads 432]

It doesn't seem to matter how many times you put "No single men" in your profile you still get obnoxious messages from single and "masquerading as single" guys.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

My wife and I have learned how to ignore the foolishness. After a while, you too will learn how to ignore it or even laugh it off. Trust me on this.

[Fokkers 16]

Doesn't SLS have a filter setting that doesn't allow you to see single guys and for single guys not to see you if you don't ant to see them?? I just turned it on and avoided getting the messages from them.

[sunbuckus 3,567]

Doesn't SLS have a filter setting that doesn't allow you to see single guys and for single guys not to see you if you don't ant to see them?? I just turned it on and avoided getting the messages from them.

 

Yes, that's what we do as well. If we are interested in looking for single males, we still have that option (I believe) but we have greatly reduced messages from single males just by turning on the setting to hide our profile from single males.

 

**Also, welcome to the forum and love the name and accompanying avatar!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

That SLS filter disallows a person who is using a single male profile from viewing your couples profile. When you turn on the filter, you can still see single male profiles. The many, many single males who use a couples profile will still be able to get to you.

 

There is a chink in this armor. If you post a Hot Date, everybody and anybody can see your profile and even send you a message -- even profiles that you have blocked. Here is the surpreme irony -- although the blocked profile can message you, you will not be able to message back!

[BuiltForSin 66]

Doesn't SLS have a filter setting that doesn't allow you to see single guys and for single guys not to see you if you don't ant to see them?? I just turned it on and avoided getting the messages from them.

 

They do! It does not work in all instances but it works good enough. We turned it on after a guy approached my wife when she was shopping and said he recognized her (her face is blurred but she has very long hair and was wearing the same clothes as the photo) he tried to shove money in her hand and then followed her out to her car.. So I removed any photos with clothes she may wear again and restricted the profile from those that are for sure not going to be a match (singles).

 

This has caused us some flak at meets when introducing ourselves to singles - they could see us on the invite but were blocked from viewing the profile. Nothing horrible just some snide remarks by a couple of them.

 

SLS has kind of solved the problem for us after an update to their buggy software: It is now impossible to say you are not interested in single men and *not* block them from your profile... If you go to the privacy settings you have and option that says "Hide profile from single men" if you set this to "no" (don't block) it instantly changes your preferences for single men to "Defiantly!" so if you then go into your profile to change that to a no (and the options are "Definitely! - "yes" - "a little" - "no" - "block") if you set it to "no" it instantly also changes your "Hide profile from single males" to "yes" ... so there is no way to make a profile visible to single males while also saying you are not interested... "no" and "block" are now functionally the exact same thing.

[Caliente08 15]

We don't like profiles with a snooty tone. It's good to be picky, but you don't have to kill us with how good looking you are, especially when you don't have pics up.

Lastly, we see a few "we only play in our race" lines. Hmmm, always gives us the sense that you are a closet racist. I don't know, maybe we are wrong.

[econobiker 165]

Hi,

...

Soooooooo....what are some of your "faves"?? Anything that irritates, annoys, makes you laugh...cringe......throw up in your mouth a little?

 

And, for reference, we're angelandtiger on SLS, so please do look at our profile and crucify us as well......we can take it.

 

No, really...we can take it. You wanna come over?

 

T

 

Shouldn't your last line be: "You wanna CUM over?"

[AskMeOk 148]

Doesn't SLS have a filter setting that doesn't allow you to see single guys and for single guys not to see you if you don't ant to see them?? I just turned it on and avoided getting the messages from them.

 

Yeah, that works, except for the following "couples".....

 

1) Wife/GF left and I can't figure out how to change the profile, so single male looking for......

 

2) Attractive couple that used to swing together, but wife has lost interest... now male swinging alone.....

 

3) Female profile picture, everything in profile about looking for women and written in first person singular......

 

4) Close-up cock shot, everything in profile about looking for women and written in first person singular......

 

Makes one wonder if some of these profiles are ever actually approved..... or maintained......

[AngelandTiger 364]

And our new favorite, expressing the double standard that still exists in the lifestyle :

 

"Males must be straight and females that are Bi or Bi-curious must understand that some women simply prefer to play straight. "

 

Apparently, playing straight is something Bi GUYS can't understand......

 

T

[enhancer 1,585]

And our new favorite, expressing the double standard that still exists in the lifestyle :

 

"Males must be straight and females that are Bi or Bi-curious must understand that some women simply prefer to play straight. "

 

Apparently, playing straight is something Bi GUYS can't understand......

 

T

 

We don't get the couples that list their woman as straight, but also have in their profile that they are interested in bi women! Why?

 

Then there are the ones that list their woman as bi, but then when you talk to them you find out they are not actually bi, but are receptive to having other women do things to them, but nothing in return back! Umm no thanks, there is no reason for any bi woman to be that desperate to be with another woman. Lots of very real bi ladies out there to fill that need.

 

As far as the bi guy things go we would have no problem having one join us knowing that I am not bi in anyway and have no interest in man on man activity! Thing is ever single bi guy we have talked to and made clear to that I am straight ends up throwing in the conversation at some point that they would love to suck my cock too.

[econobiker 165]

Deleted and combined posts.

[econobiker 165]

We don't get the couples that list their woman as straight, but also have in their profile that they are interested in bi women! Why?

 

Then there are the ones that list their woman as bi, but then when you talk to them you find out they are not actually bi, but are receptive to having other women do things to them, but nothing in return back! Umm no thanks, there is no reason for any bi woman to be that desperate to be with another woman. Lots of very real bi ladies out there to fill that need.

....

 

The "passive" bi woman seeking activity is called a "pillow princess" i.e. a woman who wants another woman to orally service her but will not reciprocate on the other woman in any way.

 

When I'm bored, sometimes I read through my region's Craigslist casual encounter personal advertisements usually scanning for swinging related postings.

 

It's the completely the same there because there are always W4W ads listing a W seeking a W for "me and my man" or "us women will play while my man watches only" yet there is the category MW4W which is the appropriate category for those scenes. So I "flag" those incorrect W4W ads as inappropriate.

[enhancer 1,585]

The "passive" bi woman seeking activity is called a "pillow princess" i.e. a woman who wants another woman to orally service her but will not reciprocate on the other woman in any way

 

When I'm bored, sometimes I read through my region's Craigslist casual encounter personal advertisements usually scanning for swinging related postings.

 

It's the completely the same there because there are always W4W ads listing a W seeking a W for "me and my man" or "us women will play while my man watches only" yet there is the category MW4W which is the appropriate category for those scenes. So I "flag" those incorrect W4W ads as inappropriate.

 

We will just stick to calling these pillow princesses not a chance!

 

Yes we see profiles on AFF like this too! Listed as a just a woman, pics and stats of just her. Then there will be one line in the profile saying I will only play with my husband there and involved. Nothing else about him in the profile. What a joke. I can't believe anyone would fall for this kind of bait and lure.