Showing surgical scars at clothing optional resorts

[Mbgdallas 203]

So what is everyone's take on surgical scars.

 

Wife had open heart surgery last week and due to complications during surgery they ended up having to crack open her chest. So now she is going to have this big long vertical scar down the middle of the chest. Because of the way it started she will have a horizontal 5" scar just to the right and under her right breast. Due to more complications that decided to implant a pace maker so she will have a 2" horizontal scar just above her left collar bone. In her abdomen she will have 3 smaller scars from chest tubes. On the inside of her right leg there will be a scar from where the incision was made to hook her to the Heart/lung bypass machine.

 

Clearly she has been torn up pretty good. She is very concerned about how these scars are going to appear and is now a big big impediment to getting her to a clothing optional resort or event.

 

Any advice/thoughts/observations of what you have seen or what you might think of this?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

A beautiful woman in our vacation group had extensive surgery last year. She was not comfortable showing her scars and chose to wear cover ups most of the time she was socializing. This was not a problem for anyone. Clothing optional allows for a variety of sexy options.

 

Scars are part of life. I think though that most women do not feel comfortable showing everything to strangers. I have been to a clothing optional resort for four vacations and was nude much of the time. I don't think I would be completely nude if I had new scars. I would wear sexy dresses and cover ups. Other people would probably be fine with it and accepting, but I would not be comfortable with new scars.

 

I wish your wife the best in her recovery. If going on a clothing optional vacation is not on her wish list, I would probably not pursue that type of trip. The stress and anxiety would not be good for her.

 

Like the woman I described in the first paragraph, the resort we go to is like home for us. We have friends and amazing memories. She wanted to be there regardless of her scars, but I know it was still a hurdle for her to overcome.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I agree with the idea that she should not feel compelled to go naked if she is uncomfortable. But I can also tell you that I have seen some women at C/O resorts or cruises with large scars, and they strutted their stuff proudly! I don't recall it being an issue for anybody.

[kikonkrome 844]

First off I wish your wife a speedy recovery.

 

Secondly I think people completely understand the self conscious feeling regarding scars.

 

That said I don't think people will look twice, maybe I am wrong. I have certainly played in the past with a lady that had a full masectomy, one of my all time great swing experiences frankly.

 

Real people are sexy, real people have scars, hope that makes sense?

[robaval 220]

Scars at Hidden Beach as well as other nude or clothes optional resorts that we frequent are not a issue. It's part of life! Some men and ladies have no problem showing and using lots of sunscreen during the day! Other people will wear a little cover cover up, which can be racier than full nude for almost all people. Julie and Rob

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

Sometimes a scar is just a scar.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Hi, Mbgdallas. I also would like to wish your wife an uneventful but quick recovery from her surgery.

 

As for scars, your question actually reminded me of two other threads that have brought up similar questions:

 

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/51203-body-scars-vs-face-scars/

 

https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/49772-would-scars-turn-you-off-from-playing-with-someone-when-swinging/

 

I love how consistent SW_PA has been in all three threads about scars though.

 

As part realist though, I have to say, I think it would depend on how new the scar is. A fresh scar could scare others just because of the contrasting colors of the scar to the surrounding skin. And as you can see from the above threads, body scars seem less intimidating than face scars.

 

This is just me, but I remember being afraid of looking at my brother's chest scar from when I was younger. Knowing what causes chest scars scare me personally--just because of how I grew up. Not everyone has that sort of experience so they might not think twice about it.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . I love how consistent SW_PA has been in all three threads about scars though.

I'm busted!

 

I too wish a quick recovery. Use plenty of cocoa butter.

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

It takes about a year for scar to fully mature and fade. For the first six months or so, sunscreen is essential to prevent a secondary injury--meaning you don't want to sunburn a fresh scar. That said, scars are evidence that something mechanical has been fixed. Making a decision to go out an enjoy naked time after surgery is a strong and positive statement. We made that decision, too.

[asncpl 730]

Scars are part of life. I think though that most women do not feel comfortable showing everything to strangers. I have been to a clothing optional resort for four vacations and was nude much of the time. I don't think I would be completely nude if I had new scars. I would wear sexy dresses and cover ups. Other people would probably be fine with it and accepting, but I would not be comfortable with new scars.

 

I knew a woman who had breast cancer and had one of her breast tissue removed, so one side of her chest is flat with a large scar on the side near her arm. She attended nude events as well as parties, and although I didn't play with her, I chatted with her and had no problem with her scar. Personally, it doesn't bother me, but the question is whether she is comfortable in her own skin. And if she's not comfortable, perhaps it's best to wait for it to heal a bit or cover it up. After all, the main thing is that she has fun at the resort, and she should do whatever makes her feel comfortable.

[Mbgdallas 203]

Fresh scar. OK I have to have a little bit of humor here. Are you talking about the types that still have stitches and gaps like Frankenstein?

 

In reality. I have a scar from neck surgery 4 1/2 years ago. It is still obvious but I don't know that it has changed much over the years as far as fading. It never was "red" after it healed.

 

Now I also have three small scars from gallbladder surgery 3 1/2 years ago. They almost look like Bullet wounds. They are very dark and very very red. They actually are ugly.

 

The scars don't bother me. I am a man and scars make you look tough. Women seem to have a much different take on it.

 

On one hand it is a conversation piece. Now if someone wants to ask me about mine it's a great start to a conversation. Actually a laugh your ass off story to me. But I know some people are sensitive so you don't dare mention them.

 

We had a lady at work years ago who had a very raspy breathy voice. It was one of the hottest voices that I had ever heard. We were pretty good friends and one day I told her how much I liked her voice. I didn't say it in a sexual way or creepy way. It was just a compliment. She was very upset by my comment and had to profusely apologize and send her flowers. I was trying to be nice and ended up hurting her. That taught me a lesson to just keep your mouth shut about anything abnormal.

[sunbuckus 3,569]

Mbgdallas said:

Fresh scar. OK I have to have a little bit of humor here. Are you talking about the types that still have stitches and gaps like Frankenstein?

 

Oh, no, no, no! Mr. Sun somewhat recently had surgery and I remember how swollen, puffy, and red those areas of his body were. That is what I had in mind when I meant fresh scars.

 

Mbgdallas said:

On one hand it is a conversation piece. Now if someone wants to ask me about mine it's a great start to a conversation. Actualy a laugh your ass of story to me. But I know some people are sensitive so you don't dare mention them.

 

We had a lady at work years ago who had a very raspy breathy voice. It was one of the hottest voices that I had ever heard. We were pretty good friends and one day I told her how much I liked her voice. I didn't say it in a sexual way or creepy way. It was just a compliment. She was very upset by my comment and had to profusely apologize and send her flowers. I was trying to be nice and ended up hurting her. That taught me a lesson to just keep your mouth shut about anything abnormal.

 

I have to admit, it is refreshing to hear someone become attune to being sensitive to how certain questions can trigger others. Sometimes you wonder if such questions are too personal--and I used to be very sensitive about a lot of things in my life. Fortunately, writing about them has helped alleviate some of that sensitivity. It also helps to know that personal stories can help others understand more about a situation. I hope this woman in your life will come to such a place where the mention of her voice doesn't upset her.

[AZCoupleII 46]

"Scars are tattoos with better stories."

 

-Michael Xavier

[Mbgdallas 203]

sunbuckus said:

Oh, no, no, no! Mr. Sun somewhat recently had surgery and I remember how swollen, puffy, and red those areas of his body were. That is what I had in mind when I meant fresh scars.

 

I have to admit, it is refreshing to hear someone become attune to being sensitive to how certain questions can trigger others. Sometimes you wonder if such questions are too personal--and I used to be very sensitive about a lot of things in my life. Fortunately, writing about them has helped alleviate some of that sensitivity. It also helps to know that personal stories can help others understand more about a situation. I hope this woman in your life will come to such a place where the mention of her voice doesn't upset her.

 

Thanks, Sunbuckus. Unfortunately she is not and never was a woman in my life just a work acquaintance that I talked with regularly. She left the firm and state 20 years ago and haven't heard from her since.

[divenaked 325]

As soon as I read the Title into this thread, I knew I had to respond. I have not bothered to even read the previous responses, knowing how most of the people here feel.

 

You are beautiful, Your scars prove you are a survivor.

[AskMeOk 148]

Clothing optional resorts (of all flavors) are stocked with people of all sizes, shapes, ages, and the presence or absence of every feature ever imagined. Scars are nothing worth even noticing.

[SuzieG 24]

"Scars are tattoos with better stories."

 

-Michael Xavier

 

Word.

 

I think they're sexy. But, I was in love with two different military men with battle scars.

 

Scars heal, more so with women than men as well. Maderma works VERY well if used religiously.

 

Also, perhaps consider tattoos over the scars? Turn them into art.