Feeling a little weird

[louisvillemojo 41]

So we have a couple we have played with several times in last few months and always enjoy. The mrs is beautiful and loves oral, and is one of those lucky women who look absolutely beautiful doing it. I love to watch her with my hubby or hers. She deserves a medal, I swear she can do it for hours and never gets her lipstick messed up or get mascara smeared. It's amazing. I've seen hubby get a lot of bjs, but no one has came close to the sensual way this women pulls it off.

I on the other hand seem to give noisy messy blowjobs and end up with my makeup and saliva everywhere lol. No big deal, we have different techniques but I know both our men enjoy the differences.

Now for the issue: I happen to notice last night that both men always hold her head and guide her. Thinking back, it's always happened. I feel weird (is it envy?) because my man (or hers) never holds my head. Like I've asked him too before to help show me what he likes and he will for just a second then stops. I pointed it out to my hubby last night on way home and he said he didn't even realize he was doing it. We got home and I asked him to guide me, he once again did for minute and stopped. But I seriously watched him guide hers for a hr earlier.

Then today I told him I wanted to give him him head, and he turned me down. Said he's too tired.

 

I feel weird. Something is bothering me but I can't seem to figure it out. The first thing that comes to mind is jealousy, but I know there is nothing to be jealous of. I enjoy watching and it never made me upset until I thought about the head holding thing. What is wrong with me cause I feel so weird about this. I know it may sound stupid or silly, but this is bothering me and I need advice from someone who has hopefully been there. And maybe a man who can tell me my mascara running cause I'm choking on his cock is just as hot. And why are they holding her head but not mine? I want my head held too! Why does this even bother me? How do I fix it? Help!

[Baconheads 438]

I gotta think they are not holding your head because you know exactly what to do! Give me a noisy, sloppy blowjob any day over a pretty one!

 

He's too tired? Can't help you with that one other than to say it's probably not your technique.

[occpl 18]

I've tried holding my wife's head. It feels to me like I'm interfering with her free motion to do what she does SO well. I end up just running my fingers through her hair occasionally. It feels absolutely incredible as is, so I don't want to mess with it. I can't answer for your husband or friend, but that's how I feel. I hope this helps.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I gotta think they are not holding your head because you know exactly what to do! Give me a noisy, sloppy blowjob any day over a pretty one!

 

He's too tired? Can't help you with that one other than to say it's probably not your technique.

 

I'm going to second this. Every experienced woman is different and that women can see it very differently from men.

 

You might be admiring how her lipstick stays so neat and interpreting them guiding her as especially sensual; they are just as likely admiring the hungry, dripping scene at their feet and don't want to get in your way.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

As as guy, I can tell you that holding a woman's head while she's going down on me is sometimes a little bit of a dicey proposition. Let me give you a little frank explanation...

 

First of all, while I like the sensations, the visual, and the sounds, it's not very easy for me to cum from oral. So I often feel a little like I'm putting a woman out if she spends a long time sucking my cock, hoping to get me all the way to the promised land! I acknowledge that getting in my own head like this is not especially conducive to letting go, but I wonder if your hubby, or the other guy, might be doing that.

 

I also worry sometimes about getting carried away while receiving a blowjob, and accidentally thrusting too deep. If the action is feeling really good, I might be reluctant to hold the woman's head, not wanting to lose control and start fucking her mouth too deeply. How deep do you and the other woman take the guy's cock when you go down on a guy? It may be that she does not sound like she is not choking on the guy's cock, while you are making more noise, including choking noises? Some guys like those sounds, but maybe other guys would be worried, as I might be, that they're making you uncomfortable.

 

On the other hand, if you are both making the guys cum (or feel very good!) from your respective BJ techniques, then I say vive le difference!

 

This sounds like a perfect opportunity for a girl-girl talk between you and the other woman. There's no reason why you two can't compare notes on giving blowjobs, and it might be interesting for both of you to discuss your techniques. This is not a jealousy thing, it's an opportunity to learn from each other!

[enhancer 1,586]

I really don't think you have anything to worry about at all! Everyone has different techniques when it comes to sexual activities and most of us men enjoy all of them.

 

Maybe with you if you are gagging and choking on it the guys are just being respectful enough to let you control how much you are taking in and letting you set the pace.

 

She on the other hand might just have a better gag reflex so the boys are going to town on throat fucking her.

 

Either way I am sure the guys are enjoying your technique a whole bunch. There is nothing wrong with a sloppy, noisy, makeup running bj in my mind.

 

Honestly if what you want is to have them grab your head and go to town I suggest you let it be known while in the act! Tell them grab my head and fuck my mouth. If I heard that while in the act I would not hesitate to do what I am told knowing it is what you want.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Give me a noisy, sloppy blowjob any day over a pretty one!

 

We second that. Don't worry about it (but that's always easier to say than do). If it's still a problem, talk with your husband. Let him know that you are concerned about this and get his input. If all else fails, the two of you can come over and me and the Ms. will give you our honest opinion as to your technique...

[louisvillemojo 41]

Both techniques seem to be enjoyed. No one has ever came from oral (even after hr) from anyone, we seem to have marathon type sessions with this couple and the guys hold out for sex.

I guess even with sex we have different styles. It's like she is more soft and sensual and I'm more of the hardcore one. Both Styles seem to be enjoyed by all though.

 

With her bjs, it's soft and slow and neat, and they gently hold her head or hair or play with hair. With me I tell them to fuck my face and they will oblige for a min but then stop. They don't really touch me but more grab the sheets and say "oh god". I know the boys like both. Having such a big difference in same room though can be strange. For example sex ended the other night with her gently riding my hubby for 30 min (he didn't cum but still enjoyed himself) and her hubby pulling my hair n banging me doggy style n smacking my butt. (He came, we had to stop n do oral a few times so he didn't cum to quickly).

For lack of better way to explain, they seem to "make love" to her but "fuck" me. And that's cool, cause I wanna be fucked. I'm just feeling weird about the head holding. She can definitely do it longer then me, but she's not exerting half the energy I am.

 

Ok, thought of better way to describe issue. It's like they hold her head gentle like something treasured and I'm over here being used. But I like being used, so why does it bother me?

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

It sounds to me like when they are with you, they are having to concentrate on NOT coming (too quickly). With her, it sounds like they are being 'softer'...but it still sounds like they are having to 'help' her do it in a way that is pleasurable. Given the option, we'll still take you

[padoc 1,704]

We agree with GoldCo. It sounds to us like with you, the guys are getting seriously stimulated whereas with the other woman, its possible they are trying to "help" her help them to get off. Your sloppy, makeup wrecking bj's would certainly be my choice and are descriptive of Mrs Docs technique, one that never fails to satisfy and needs absolutely NO guidance. You have nothing to be bothered about. That sloppy, wet, messy look is one we call the "fresh fucked look" and nothing is more erotic or attractive.

[louisvillemojo 41]

Well thank you, but any ideas why is it bothering me and how I fix it?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Have you considered playing in separate rooms?

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Well thank you, but any ideas why is it bothering me and how I fix it?

OK, you asked for ideas on understanding your bothered feelings and how to "fix it". So here's a couple of ideas!

 

You said that you like being used, getting fucked instead of being "made love to". Maybe one of these times, you might try and see how the grass on the other side of the fence looks- from that side! What I mean is this: try having a session, with your hubby or with the other guy, where you play the role of the more passionate, softer, sensual, gentler woman. Try giving head that way, and having sex that way, just to feel what it's like. If you can "stay in character" for the duration, think afterwards about how it was different, what you did or didn't like about that style compared to your more familiar style.

 

Whether you come away from that experiment thinking, "wow, was that ever boring?", or appreciating the pleasures of a different way of playing, your improved understanding of her style may help you to feel less bothered by her technique.

 

Another thing you might consider is really thinking through and analyzing the question of her technique vs. your technique. What exactly is it that bothers you? Is it her technique itself, or the guys' reaction to her technique, that bothers you? Do you think that the guys holding her head mean that they are enjoying her more than you? Do you have feelings of jealousy, or concerns that her technique is somehow more intimate than yours? By the way, one of the great things about people in the lifestyle is that you could actually have this very conversation with the other three people involved. How does the other woman feel about your different sexual techniques- she might be feeling a little jealous of the vigorous, exciting experience you give to the guys!

 

I hope some of these ideas are useful!

[louisvillemojo 41]

 

Do you think that the guys holding her head mean that they are enjoying her more than you? Do you have feelings of jealousy, or concerns that her technique is somehow more intimate than yours?

 

How does the other woman feel about your different sexual techniques- she might be feeling a little jealous of the vigorous, exciting experience you give to the guys.

 

 

This! You summed it up better then I could. I feel like her technique is much more intimate then mine. I know that sounds silly, I mean we are all having sex, it's all intimate. It's just feels/looks different.

 

I'm happy to talk to them about it, just not sure how to bring it up without sounding Petty. I'm doing a bad job communicating this, I couldn't even get hubby to understand cause I'm not sure what exactly about it is bothering me myself.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

This! You summed it up better then I could. I feel like her technique is much more intimate then mine. I know that sounds silly, I mean we are all having sex, it's all intimate. It's just feels/looks different.

No worries- I understand what you mean, and it is not silly at all! It looks more passionate to you than you think your method looks, and maybe that triggers a thought that there is more feeling behind it than you are comfortable seeing.

 

People have different triggers for feelings. I know one couple who are full swap, and generally very comfortable, but when a woman gently strokes her husband's cheek, it makes her a little jealous. To her, that gesture has a connotation of deep feelings that she finds uncomfortable to see.

 

I'm happy to talk to them about it, just not sure how to bring it up without sounding Petty. I'm doing a bad job communicating this, I couldn't even get hubby to understand cause I'm not sure what exactly about it is bothering me myself.

It's tough to clearly communicate a feeling, when you're not sure yourself what exactly the feeling really is, or where it's coming from. I think you are doing a good job communicating to us! If this couple are willing to be good friends along with playmates, then they will welcome this conversation. It doesn't have to be framed as a negative thing- you feel a little funny is all, and you want to talk it over with your friends.

 

Some people prefer to kinda keep their play experiences a little more at arm's length, rather than going for the quiet, passionate experiences. They tend to "keep it light", with more joking and more raw fucking, and less whispered dirty talk or romantic kissing during play. Do you think your preferred style leans more this way?

[larry818 58]

Then today I told him I wanted to give him him head, and he turned me down. Said he's too tired.

 

I do this with my wife all the time. While I love getting head and she's willing to do it, she doesn't enjoy it, and because of that, I can't enjoy it with her. So, I avoid it.

 

Maybe your hubby thinks the same thing?

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

If you don't feel comfortable with talking with everyone, how about you just go for the soft, 'love making' technique the next time you are together and then ask the guys which do they prefer?

 

Ms. Gold is always willing to suck me, but knowing that she is willing...well, sometimes I am JUST TIRED. Take what he said at face value...

[Swing*8701 887]

It's bothering you because you think their behaviors indicate a preference or to a skill set that you do not have. The thing is, that isn't going on at all. So, you have to do something about it, such as realize that YOU are the preferred one, in actuality. You truly are doing the 'grass is greener, " and not realizing you have the better 'lawn'. You simply have this thing in your mind that she's preferred and it's not the case.

 

on

Well thank you, but any ideas why is it bothering me and how I fix it?

[njbm 2,903]

One of the reasons that I wanted to get into the lifestyle is for different sexual experiences. I want to learn techniques from other people. I wanted to use my techniques on other people who never saw my techniques. I wanted my wife to enjoy oral and intercourse with men who do it differently than me. Are they better? Not necessarily, but they are different. And we enjoy different experiences.

 

Our culture is too competitive. Enjoy different, don't try to rate things.