Small breasts a dealbreaker?

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Hey,

 

My husband and I are new to swinging, but we've jumped in with both feet and are having a great time.

 

I thought I'd made peace with my small breasts decades ago. But now--especially after four kids, all breastfed, and a bunch of weight loss, my 34A/Bs are constantly on my mind when I'm preparing to go out to a swinger event. I feel like I'm turning off potential partners before they even get a chance to meet us. I'm very pretty (just being frank, the same way I am about my breast size!) and have a nice ass--but I feel like the breasts are probably a dealbreaker for men and women alike (I'm very bi).

 

I'd never considered implants for many reasons: the expense, the embarrassment of admitting to my vanilla friends and acquaintances that I felt the need to "improve" my sexual appearance, not caring for the way fake breasts feel on other women, and the possibility of making my daughters think they are not perfect the way they are, however they turn out. But most of all, because my mother died of breast cancer and I have to have frequent mammos and occasional biopsies, I don't think they're an option. OTOH, it sucks to feel like I'm missing out because of my breast size. At least guys with small packages are able to keep it a secret until people get naked, lol! I do use padded/pushup bras sometimes, but in moderation, because I don't want to see anyone's face fall when I take my top off. :-)

 

Thoughts? Am I crazy to think many people walk on by when they see my figure? Or am I being realistic? Am I being stupid about implants?

 

Thanks.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I have two friends with breasts that are probably smaller than yours and both of these ladies are extremely popular in the lifestyle. They are wonderful, sexy people and I'm sure you are too. You are enough.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

I don't think it will matter a bit. You're thinking and worrying about it 100X more than anyone else will I'm positive. I know that's easy to say, because we all have things about ourselves that we wish were different, and so it's much easier to advise someone else to do than it is to do it yourself. Personality and the vibe you give off makes up 95% of attraction I think. This is swinging, not sorting through a stack of retouched photos to select the Playboy Playmate of the Year award, and so people are looking for other real people, with all their perceived "faults", who they hit it off with and want to share something together. If that chemistry is (or isn't) there, your breast size is not going to change anything.

 

Another factor in how people perceive you is confidence. If implants are something you want for YOU, then that's worth considering. If it's something you are doing for someone else, then don't.

[kikonkrome 843]

One factor we enjoy most about swinging is the variety. If this means itty-bitty-titties, whooo hoo!!!

 

As CoupleNUs said, we all have something that we aren't happy with.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

FunintheSnow, has anyone actually commented negatively on your breast size? Have you seen a look of disappointment on anybody's face when checking out your breasts? I ask in order to just make sure that you haven't actually gotten any negative feedback yet. Assuming you haven't, then this is likely an issue only to you!

 

Firstly, some people really go for smaller breasts. Secondly, as others have said, your hotness is much more about how you carry yourself, how comfortable and sexy you feel, how comfortable and sexy you make others feel, than it is about a particular physical attribute.

 

So I say, strut your stuff proudly!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

I know no woman who is completely happy with what she sees in a mirror. I suspect that if you know how others perceive you, you would feel lifted.

[oc1234 435]

I am a male who has always been really turned on by very small breasts. Our male friend who my wife and I play with also is really turned on by very small breasts. Large breasts are not something we look for.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

FunintheSnow, has anyone actually commented negatively on your breast size? Have you seen a look of disappointment on anybody's face when checking out your breasts? I ask in order to just make sure that you haven't actually gotten any negative feedback yet. Assuming you haven't, then this is likely an issue only to you!

 

Thanks for the question! No...it's more a matter of how big-breast-obsessed the lifestyle seems. (Real life may well be, too, but I'm just not exposed to people outside the LS who talk openly about it.) The bragging about breast size (done by proud husbands ), the number of women who have had augmentation (suggesting that you should have big breasts, and if you don't, you should spend money and trouble and take a medical risk to get them), the wet t-shirt contests... There's one club near me that's having a "breasts vs. booties" contest. Now, I'm not saying I'd win that with my booty, but at least it acknowledges that breasts aren't all a woman could have going on.

 

Maybe I just need to start going topless at clubs. :-) I'm partly joking, but on the other hand, why not? Maybe I'd meet "my people" like oc1234, and if not, pretty soon I wouldn't have to worry about anyone being disappointed, because everyone would know. I'd be the tiny titty queen.

 

I'm super tired after a weekend at a hotel takeover, so apologies if I sound silly at this point.

[asncpl 728]

I have 32A/Bs and I have always been very insecured about them. It's something I raised in other postings on this board and everyone has been so supportive. And in hindsight, no one we played with has actually said they're too small. People have different tastes and preferences, and I'm fine if someone doesn't want to play with me because I have small breasts because I have come across plenty of playmates who loved them. So I'd say they haven't impeded the lifestyle, although it's difficult to get rid of the self-doubts completely. I really try to banish the thoughts from my head.

 

As for implants, I considered them too but decided against it. For one thing, I have asked many male and female playmates, and the majority of them told me they don't like the feel of implants. They can also lead to health problems later.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Thanks for the question! No...it's more a matter of how big-breast-obsessed the lifestyle seems. (Real life may well be, too, but I'm just not exposed to people outside the LS who talk openly about it.) The bragging about breast size (done by proud husbands ), the number of women who have had augmentation (suggesting that you should have big breasts, and if you don't, you should spend money and trouble and take a medical risk to get them), the wet t-shirt contests... There's one club near me that's having a "breasts vs. booties" contest. Now, I'm not saying I'd win that with my booty, but at least it acknowledges that breasts aren't all a woman could have going on.

 

Maybe I just need to start going topless at clubs. :-) I'm partly joking, but on the other hand, why not? Maybe I'd meet "my people" like oc1234, and if not, pretty soon I wouldn't have to worry about anyone being disappointed, because everyone would know. I'd be the tiny titty queen.

 

I'm super tired after a weekend at a hotel takeover, so apologies if I sound silly at this point.

It takes all kinds to make the world go around! I suspect that even some of those guys who brag about their wives' big boobs would enjoy playing with a spirited, sexy woman, even if she had a smaller chest.

 

I have played with only a couple of women who had augmentation, and those things did feel a little strange... I much prefer natural, whatever size they may be.

 

Given what you said at the end of your post, it sounds to me like you are having an excellent time. Not too silly, but maybe a little spent! Perhaps this is going to turn out to be a non-issue, and something that you needn't be concerned about. That's not to say that you might not run across someone at some point who will pass on playing with you based on your breast size. But it's also possible that some foolish guy might decide to move on to someone else, based on your hair color, or your height, or some other factor that prevents him from "clicking" with you. But if they miss the chance to play with you, it's their loss! I predict that you will have plenty of fun!

[AZCoupleII 46]

To me it is not any different than the size of a man's penis. It's not about the size. It's about attitude. If you feel sexy, it will show no matter what size your breasts are.

[Mbgdallas 203]

I will take small over large any day of the week and three times on Sunday. I am just a small breast lover.

 

As far as enhancement goes I would beg you not to. Don't mess up a beautiful thing. I hate fake. Now all that is my preference. If you want to do it for you then you should do what you want to do. I just want to assure you that there is no need to be self conscious or afraid of itty bitty titties. I love them and would rather see them and play with them more than anything else.

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

We are MUCH more interested in what is contained behind those breasts (in other words, we are more interest in whats contained inside of the person than the exterior). Display your breasts proudly, confidence is very sexy. Breast size is not important (once again, size doesn't matter only this time it's being said about a woman). We would never overlook you based on your breast size.

[Baconheads 426]

I will take small over large any day of the week and three times on Sunday. I am just a small breast lover.

 

As far as enhancement goes I would beg you not to. Don't mess up a beautiful thing. I hate fake. Now all that is my preference. If you want to do it for you then you should do what you want to do. I just want to assure you that there is no need to be self conscious or afraid of itty bitty titties. I love them and would rather see them and play with them more than anything else.

 

I love boobs! Love 'em big, love 'em small. Never a deal breaker either way. Own them. Love them and others will too. Many fake boobs look great, others look dorky. Some look great, but just don't match the body they're attached to. I would also beg you to not mess with a good thing.

[Baconheads 426]

Anybody here ever tried the herbal breast enlargement treatments? Do they work? Seems like a safer way to have bigger boobs than surgery. (We just watched an episode of "Botched")

[Mbgdallas 203]

I was at Disney Springs this evening and found myself noticing all of the wonderful MILFS with very little on because it was so stinkin' hot and humid. Every one that got my attention had smaller boobs. Just confirms that I am an itty bitty titty man.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Thank you so much for all the encouragement, everyone! It really makes me feel more confident.

 

I haven't tried herbal treatments, Baconheads (if I had, you'd know they don't work, lol) but I once heard the following on a radio call-in show. A woman said she'd asked her husband for a boob job for her birthday. Instead, he got her a new pickup--without power steering. ? Not quite the same, but apparently it did perk things up a bit.

 

I do do a lot of pec exercises--not just to perk up my breasts (pecs are muscle, while breasts are mostly fat, after all) but because I work out a lot in general--and they're crucial to my new pole dancing hobby. ? Having strong pecs does create the illusion of cleavage--I mean, there's more of a shape there than I would have otherwise.

[Baconheads 426]

Thank you so much for all the encouragement, everyone! It really makes me feel more confident.

 

I haven't tried herbal treatments, Baconheads (if I had, you'd know they don't work, lol) but I once heard the following on a radio call-in show. A woman said she'd asked her husband for a boob job for her birthday. Instead, he got her a new pickup--without power steering. Not quite the same, but apparently it did perk things up a bit.

 

I do do a lot of pec exercises--not just to perk up my breasts (pecs are muscle, while breasts are mostly fat, after all) but because I work out a lot in general--and they're crucial to my new pole dancing hobby. Having strong pecs does create the illusion of cleavage--I mean, there's more of a shape there than I would have otherwise.

 

Haha! Made me laugh. My 66 bronco used to have armstrong steering but it just made my back hurt.

[yorktownvaguy 76]

I take small breasts over large ones any time (and yes I am a male). For one a nice shapely ass and crotch turns me on more than breasts. I am Dutch (immigrated to the US in 86) and find the US males are much more breast centric than the average European guys. Secondly, smaller breasts are easier to massage in my eyes. Furthermore, isn't the whole package more important that its parts?

[enhancer 1,582]

Anyone who is not going to want to be with a beautiful attractive woman simply, because her boobs are not popping out of her shirt is a complete idiot IMO! Their loss.

 

Ms Enhancer is a B cup! In the 5 plus years we have been in the lifestyle we have never seen this as being any issue. She has never had any lack of interest when we have gone to parties or events. Maybe her ass makes up for it. If we see online profiles with size kings or queens we skip them as do many others I am sure.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Well, I have to add a PS now. We went to a club last night and I got a lot of attention and compliments on my outfit and my ass. My outfit did make the most of what boobs I have, but the focus was definitely on the rear, and we did not lack for potential play partners. So, y'all already knew this, but... you were right!

[Baconheads 426]

So did you get to play? Out with it!

[Guest FunintheSnow]

So did you get to play? Out with it!

 

We did not, but only because I had my period. Well, I played with my husband, and I have to give a shout out to sea sponge tampons as a result. ? It was my first time using one and while I wouldn't want to risk it with a new partner, there was absolutely no mess.

 

It's pretty pathetic how much I smile remembering a guy saying to my husband, "That's some ass." And a couple of people just had to ask to feel. ?

[edtungsten5858 29]

When it comes to swinging and interacting with others, breast size does not matter at all. The number one thing is an open minded, wild attitude. Age, weight and endowments are never a factor. As far as surgical enhancement, don't do it for swinging; but if you think you will like the results in general, think about it.

[Wornsilver 219]

I like women, virtually all sizes and shapes, and am especially attracted to women with small boobs. I think they are sexy (and I really don't like fake ones). But I thought I would mention something that did turn me off, something I would not have predicted--she had a "little girl" voice. My little buddy could not get past that!! Just for the record, the bare, shaved look gives me some trouble, too, since the symbol of sexual maturity is lacking. Just me.

[intuition897 2,179]

I've got a pretty big rack, and I'm currently waiting for reduction surgery. Big tits are NOT as much fun as you might think. They are a huge pain in neck...literally. Do you have any idea how glad I'll be to not HAVE to wear a bra? To not suffer from boob-sweat in July? To not have to shop at the big-lady store to find a size that fits? To be able to buy those cute little light-weight bras from Walmart for $5.99? To be able to wear something strapless? To be able to wear shirts that button in the front? To not be borderline obscene in every goddamned outfit you put on? I can't wear anything low-cut at the office without seeming like a complete hussy, but a smaller-busted coworker could pull it off.

 

Ultimately, boob size is a preference, and for every type, there's someone who loves them. And what does that mean? It means that one size is not better than another. It's just different. I'm with cplnuswing: you're not auditioning for America's Next Top Model, you're swinging. People like real people, with real bodies, real confidence, and real chemistry. Work what you've got! Just assume people will find you sexy, and they will. A powerful sexual presence can reside in any kind of body, so find your inner goddess and let Her out.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

I do have some (secondhand) idea, intuition897, not personally but from having had a roommate and good friend who was plagued with backaches and the rest of it. I hope your surgery comes soon and that it goes well!

 

Before I was in the LS I did actively enjoy all the positive aspects you describe. My original post was a while ago and I've pretty much come to terms with it. If our culture didn't obsess over breasts, I wouldn't feel any differently about mine than I do about any other aspect of my appearance that might not be Barbie-like.

[Wornsilver 219]

I've got a pretty big rack, and I'm currently waiting for reduction surgery. Big tits are NOT as much fun as you might think. They are a huge pain in neck...literally. Do you have any idea how glad I'll be to not HAVE to wear a bra? To not suffer from boob-sweat in July? To not have to shop at the big-lady store to find a size that fits? To be able to buy those cute little light-weight bras from Walmart for $5.99? To be able to wear something strapless? To be able to wear shirts that button in the front? To not be borderline obscene in every goddamned outfit you put on? I can't wear anything low-cut at the office without seeming like a complete hussy, but a smaller-busted coworker could pull it off.

 

Ultimately, boob size is a preference, and for every type, there's someone who loves them. And what does that mean? It means that one size is not better than another. It's just different. I'm with cplnuswing: you're not auditioning for America's Next Top Model, you're swinging. People like real people, with real bodies, real confidence, and real chemistry. Work what you've got! Just assume people will find you sexy, and they will. A powerful sexual presence can reside in any kind of body, so find your inner goddess and let Her out.

 

Good luck with the surgery. How long do you think you will have to wait? Is the surgery called "elective" or something like that so the wait is longer? Or is there a long wait for most medical attention? You have contributed so much to this site over the years and you present as a lovely person, regardless of your breast size--big or small. Again, hope all goes well and soon!

[intuition897 2,179]

Good luck with the surgery. How long do you think you will have to wait? Is the surgery called "elective" or something like that so the wait is longer? Or is there a long wait for most medical attention? You have contributed so much to this site over the years and you present as a lovely person, regardless of your breast size--big or small. Again, hope all goes well and soon!

 

Thanks, Wornsilver. Yes, it's considered elective, so it tends to have a pretty long wait list. I've been waiting for a surgery date over 2 years now, which is getting ridiculous. But when they have to choose between, say, a cancer patient and me, I can understand getting bumped. Since I've lost weight, it's not quite as problematic as it once was - I was a 38H bra size at one point. Try packing THAT into a bathing suit. But I've always been "top-heavy" and I'm looking forward to the rest of my life knowing how the other half lives.

[Niknmik 161]

Just speaking for myself as a pansexual person, I have big breasts and I am probably most attracted to smaller breasts in other women. Something about the contrast really does it for me on a mental level. That being said in general I don't tend to scrutinize or linger over other people's bodies in a bad way. Maybe some other people are different but when I'm mentally attracted, I naturally focus on what I find attractive about their body and everything else kind of fades away. Even stuff like amazing eyes, big hands, a really delicate neck, etc.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

I was a 38H bra size at one point. Try packing THAT into a bathing suit.

A woman friend of ours weighs 90 pounds and has a shape like a bean pole (a bean pole having no protuberances). She is also legally blind. At a party she encounters a dining room chair and finds a brassiere draped over the back. She holds the bra up close to her good eye and reads out loud, "44EE." Her only comment was, "this much material could be used to make an entire dress for me."

 

Bean poles are OK with me.

[Curiouscouple61 64]

[HUBBY] oh trust me they are far from a dealbreaker. In fact there are tons of men out there who have a huge fetish for them and don't like big boobs at all.

 

You'll find plenty of people who will be super into them. In my experience men aren't too picky. A guy may say that he likes a tall blonde, with blue eyes and big D cup boobs, but really if he runs into a really cute brunette who is 5ft5, brown eyes and a B cup, you know what? He's fine with that! Cute is cute. I think men are more flexible than even some women are in this regard. In my experience, a lot of girls I know who say they don't like blonde guys, mean it and just won't date a blonde guy unless their preferences change when they are older. I've known girls who prefer tall guys at least 6ft and they stick to it. I've known very few guys that don't go outside of their declared preferences because at the end of the day, if we think you are cute, we're into you regardless of type.

 

PS small perky boobs are super fun to play with in my book. I love variety, big boobs are fun on a different way, but small boobs are crazy fun too.

[BandT65 16]

We like our girls small and sporty, from your post it sounds like you're just our type. Don't change a thing!

[Wornsilver 219]

Thanks, Wornsilver. Yes, it's considered elective, so it tends to have a pretty long wait list. I've been waiting for a surgery date over 2 years now, which is getting ridiculous. But when they have to choose between, say, a cancer patient and me, I can understand getting bumped. Since I've lost weight, it's not quite as problematic as it once was - I was a 38H bra size at one point. Try packing THAT into a bathing suit. But I've always been "top-heavy" and I'm looking forward to the rest of my life knowing how the other half lives.

 

Hey, Intuition. Did you ever get the surgery? Hope so.

[tractorman 17]

Well I am not alone in loving ladies with small breasts, the only thing I like better is having them pierced a sign of a true kinky lady. I have know a couple of ladies that have had implants what a waste of a nice pair of breasts. Stick with what you have they sound wonderful.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

Thoughts? Am I crazy to think many people walk on by when they see my figure? Or am I being realistic? Am I being stupid about implants?

 

I love women of all shapes and sizes.

 

It sounds as if you think people are walking by because you have small tits. How big is big enough. How little is too little Do you really want an experience with people who are that shallow?

[scots 33]

Any part of a breast you can't get in your mouth is wasted.

[PSULioness 827]

When I was younger I was very self-conscious of my late development. I never met anyone who ran because I wasn’t big.

[LoveLove 28]

I've had many conversations with my husband about his lifetime of partners and he has never expressed any kind of aversion to any body type. One partner with pretty much just nipples, he said he just loved their erectness and it was just as much of a turn on...she also had other turn ons about her...slim, soft legs, etc.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

Here is what science tells us about this question:

 

Men Like Big Boobs

[Married63 21]

I cant speak for any one but myself...eyes & smile are what makes a woman atractive and sexy.. boobs, ass and the rest is the spicy variety that makes each of you unique... so dont worry about your boobs.. just smile & let us see your beautifull eyes and youll drive us guys crazy... boing! be yourself, be happy... smiles are sooo dammm sexy..lol

[njbm 2,863]

I like any kind of shapely boobs. The other curves are a bonus. I am a little on the heavy side, so if the woman is too, no problem , who am I to complain. My wife on the other hand is super fit.

 

I agree that it is more about the smile, personality and innate sexiness that attracts me over one body part.

 

Huge boobs are not a turn on for me. I don't think that I have been with a woman with enhanced breasts, but if it is ok with her, it is ok with me.

[couplers 4,588]

Obviously, those in my poly family like my tits well enough. Among the three of us girls there is a good variety of me being tiny, Clair being fairly large and Lora nicely in the middle. My point in commenting here though is that of all the other guys who have commented on me being small breasted (at the gym, at work, running partners, etc.) secretly, down deep, really want to have a peak at whatever is actually there.

[Jare1998 62]

The Mr. Half of Jare1998 loves variety, big ones, small ones, and anything in between. He doesn't particularly like really big ones (to big to fit in his hand) but he doesn't complain to much. Point is many guys and gals like variety, hence why we are swingers, right?! I agree though, fake ones just don't feel the same as nice natural ones. I'd rather have small natural boobies than big fakers any day. I can't stand it when the fakers wrinkle and bunch up when they hang, looks awful!

[harplitt 25]

If you have a sexy attitude and a friendly disposition, you have nothing to worry about. Chemistry doesn't come about due to bra size. It just happens. We like awesome people.

 

I'm a stranger, but I'm guessing you don't need implants to be happy, so don't get them to make someone else happy.

[Wornsilver 219]

I cant speak for any one but myself...eyes & smile are what makes a woman atractive and sexy.. boobs, ass and the rest is the spicy variety that makes each of you unique... so dont worry about your boobs.. just smile & let us see your beautifull eyes and youll drive us guys crazy... boing! be yourself, be happy... smiles are sooo dammm sexy..lol

 

Not only that, but the person connected to the boobs is the key. The question is: does she respond to me? If so, the rest is "spice," as you say

[Numex 2,386]

The Mr. Half of Jare1998 loves variety, big ones, small ones, and anything in between.

 

It's not just big and small, although I agree my wife and I like all the different sizes, it's also the shape, how they hang, how they bounce. And don't get me started on nipples! The variety is wonderful.

[Numex 2,386]

So did you get to play? Out with it!

 

We did not, but only because I had my period.

 

My wife and I and the couples we play with don't let a woman's period stop us, just throw down some old towels and go at it. The girls are pretty horny as well, so it's appreciated.

 

Oral is limited to a cleaned clit, but other than that it doesn't slow us down.

[tractorman 17]

Take you small breasts with you, when your comfortable show them, I am sure they and you will be just fine.

[drquincy 16]

To answer your question "Am I crazy to think ... " Yes! (lol). There's nothing wrong with what you have. It's your insecurity and a bit of paranoia speaking, thinking that everyone is looking at your "small" breast, judging you ... You sound like a reasonable person and no, most people do not care. Personally, I would prefere your 34A before something along the lines of 36 DDD. No, seriously, you have nothing to worry about. If someone has a probalem with it, screw them (not literally), they are not worth of your tme. Stop worrying abut it, you are just fine!