Why lie on profiles?

[Sjmar 141]

Maybe this is just a vent post, and hope that's ok, but as we venture into SLS, I've gotta ask- why do women blatantly lie about their weight??? I'm not saying I can tell you to the pound how much someone weighs, but if you post that you're 180 and you are obviously, clearly not less than like 250, do you think folks won't notice?? I mean I fudged like 7 lbs on my own profile lol, but I'm just baffled as to why someone would do that so significantly (especially when they have posted photos). There are so many people who enjoy beautiful women of all shapes and sizes, I just don't get the deception.

 

It goes both ways, too- I've actually almost gone right past profiles where she's listed as like 120lbs (mostly because I'm new to this and therefore am a bit self-conscious about at least my first experience being with a woman who is significantly more slender than myself) and then catch site of a pic and realize "oh wow no she's definitely fluffier than 120, yay!" Vent over lol

 

-sincerely, 172lb woman who's listed as 165 haha

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Vent away: it's just one of those things. Ms. Gold looks great but she is also tall (5'9"). As a result, she is bound to weigh more than someone who is 5'1". All too often, however, weight is a deciding factor when people are looking for others. It's not right or fair, but it is. When we are looking, however, we also instantly weed out anyone who is under 140. We both like curves on a woman. There needs to be some other way of measuring people... getting penalized because you are tall is not right. Maybe even just not listing weight but requiring a photograph... I don't know. Problem is most everyone does it but some do it in a more believable way than others.

[Sjmar 141]

And for sure I get that my 172lbs (at 5'3") looks completely different than someone who is the same weight and 6 inches taller (and different build, bone structure, etc....I probably have like 30 lbs just in my big T&A lol). But really, sometimes what they have down is just a physical impossibility, like, by a lot. And I have much more respect for someone who chooses not to divulge their number (it just says 0lbs) than someone who is obviously lying by like 50 (or more!) lbs. I think the deception bothers me more than the actual weight, it makes me wonder what else that person is dishonest about....

[intuition897 2,179]

We were just at the beach yesterday. I love being in my 40's because I have finally stopped giving a fuck, and recognize that bodies are just bodies and they're all different. Okay, so some folks should probably give more of a fuck about themselves and take their weight and health more seriously, because they're allowing it to detract from their enjoyment of life. But as long as people are just being balanced - not living in the fridge, or on the other end of the spectrum - starving and chained to a treadmill - bodies are perfect in their imperfections.

 

I saw a lot of beautiful bodies there, but you know what? That's what happens when gravity hasn't had its wicked way with you for as many years as it's had with me. I'm not about to hold it against them. And I'm not going to feel bad about what I've got packed into my bikini either. It ain't that bad, considering.

 

I'm 5'7" and about 168 lbs. Yeah, I've got a bit of a gut on me, and a bit of cellulite, but whatever! As long as I can fit into the outfits I like, and I get to eat ice cream and drink wine now and then, I'm okay with it. That's what happens when you combine 42 years of gravity, two pregnancies and about 50 lbs of weight gain/loss. My lot in life could be much worse.

 

The weight thing on profiles is a pain in the ass. Whenever we can get away with it, we skip adding our weight. Just look at our photos. If you like them, great, if not, whatever. People are always surprised when I tell them what I weigh, because I carry the weight all over. Mr. intuition has probably packed on 10 lbs of solid muscle in the last 6 months or so, so his weight is also deceiving. I don't know if the weight listing is a help or a hindrance, because I have found us "weeding out" couples based on their weight, too. We do prefer couples who are height/weight proportionate. But how many people have we passed over with whom we might have great chemistry because of it?

[Sjmar 141]

Mrs Intuition, I agree completely! I think so many different bodies are beautiful, and that often it's the "flaws" that are especially beautiful- they are what make us all unique. And even within what I'm sexually attracted to, I'm not particularly attracted to very skinny women, nor morbidly obese, but lots and lots in between :-) (I also have had kids (3, with 2 c-sections) and weight gain/loss of like 65 lbs, and I have a pic on my sls profile that includes my beautiful baby belly, jiggle, stretch marks and all)

And that's why I don't get why folks lie! If I, for instance, put on my profile that I weighed 125lbs, not only would it be painfully, ridiculously obvious that I was lying, but for every person who might scroll past me because I'm not 125lbs, there's someone else who thinks all my curves are red hot ;-) No matter anyone's size, there's someone who's attracted to that body type- we should all be free to be honest, and to not pose as anyone other than ourselves

[njbm 2,863]

People seem to lie more about their age than their weight. We've met people who write that they are in their 50s, but are in their 60s or 70s. Some people say that they are younger than us and they are considerably older.

[Sjmar 141]

Oh gosh lol njbm I didn't even think about that one!! Oh my.....smh

[intuition897 2,179]

If I, for instance, put on my profile that I weighed 125lbs, not only would it be painfully, ridiculously obvious that I was lying, but for every person who might scroll past me because I'm not 125lbs, there's someone else who thinks all my curves are red hot ;-) No matter anyone's size, there's someone who's attracted to that body type- we should all be free to be honest, and to not pose as anyone other than ourselves

 

I KNOW! Exactly. Most of my stuff jiggles, and that's just the way I like it.

[JandKinBoise 856]

I have to wonder if some folks think that if they can just get this couple to meet, they will see how awesome they are.

We met a few guys whose profile pictures were taken 10 or 15 years prior and listed their age as that. I would always wonder how stressed out a guy would be, walking into a bar, about to be caught in an obvious lie. We were kind the first time, well kinda. After that we just called them out right away. Then we put it in our profile that lies in profiles will be discussed first. Seemed harsh but the mmf search is wrought with deception. Becoming a little cynical is hard to avoid.

[intuition897 2,179]

I remember a couple we once met who claimed to be a good 10-15 years younger than they actually were. And it was SO obvious. Mr. intuition and I looked at one another with a look that said it all: This is NOT happening. To our complete astonishment, they continued to pretend they were in their early 30's when it was obvious they were easily in their mid 40's. One of them even slipped when they were talking about their kids and said something about 'darned teenagers' or 'empty nest' or something. The other one's eyes got real big as if to say "STFU you idiot, you're giving away our age!" Yeah...we didn't need you to 'give away' anything, Captain Obvious.

 

The take-away from that was the impression of a couple who was so desperate to play with a younger couple that they had to resort to dishonesty to get laid. And that's just pathetic. We were embarrassed for them. Why do that to yourselves??

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Vent away: it's just one of those things. Ms. Gold looks great but she is also tall (5'9"). As a result, she is bound to weigh more than someone who is 5'1". All too often, however, weight is a deciding factor when people are looking for others. It's not right or fair, but it is. When we are looking, however, we also instantly weed out anyone who is under 140 (unless you are under 5' 3"). We both like curves on a woman. There needs to be some other way of measuring people... getting penalized because you are tall is not right. Maybe even just not listing weight but requiring a photograph... I don't know. Problem is most everyone does it but some do it in a more believable way than others.

 

Corrected to take height into consideration

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

As for us the bottom line is if we all feel a connection...looks are really not that important. It just happens that both of us also like stuff that juggles (and stretch marks can be very sexy).

[angelkin 1,326]

Recently had a couple of folks meet up with us that were way off the profile. Single fellow, pictures were old and he was clearly 10 years older than his pics. We felt betrayed and lied to...why people feel it's ok to be dishonest in the lifestyle is completely beyond me.

 

The other was a single lady, her pics were recent, but only of her face and cleavage. She was at least 50 lbs heavier than listed in her profile and her age was 10-15 years off.

 

Put the truth out there and let us decide for ourselves if we are interested. That's what we do. Ages and weights are accurate, pictures are a nice mix of face and full body shots (no nudes)-and on pictures I love that are older, I put a date to indicate that the representation is from a few years ago.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

There needs to be some other way of measuring people... getting penalized because you are tall is not right. Maybe even just not listing weight but requiring a photograph... I don't know. Problem is most everyone does it but some do it in a more believable way than others.

 

My hubby and I consider height--don't others? To give perspective, he will say things like,"He's two inches taller than me and weighs 50 pounds more"--although we would still defer to a photo for a real sense of whether we're attracted to a couple. Listed weights get more, um, weight with the men because there's often a scarcity of pictures of the guy.

 

I have to admit that I've had a birthday since we joined SLS but have not updated my profile yet. 46 just sounds so much younger than 47 to me...

 

Off to do a search for a thread about why there are so few pics of men on SLS! There is bound to be one somewhere on this site.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Women NEVER are older than 49 (sometimes it's 49+1 or more, but still 49). As for the lack of men photos, most people are more interested in the women...plain and simple (and there is a thread about men and dick pixs, uggg). Being one year off in your profile is not a crime, what we hate is when they have a heading about how they are preparing to do something that passed months ago ("We'll see you at the Halloween costume party Oct 31"). They check into their account almost every day but don't pay any attention to what their account actually SAYS.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

I suppose we are more interested in the women because both of us may play with the woman, while only one of us will play with the guy...but that doesn't excuse having 90% of the pics be of her (if there are any of him at all). Our minimum standsrd for contacting a couple is now: "She's attractive, and as far as I can tell from that one distant pic if him on his bike, I do not find him repugnant." But really, I am the one folks need to convince, and as a woman, I am probably fussier than a lot of guys, so a couple with some decent, clear pictures of just a regular-looking guy would do so well, I would think!

 

Maybe the problem is that (as far as I can tell) guys are usually the ones haunting SLS? In our case, it's slightly more likely to be me.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

PS I agree, no dick pics! But I can get a good enough sense of a guy's body if he's wearing clothes that fit well. :-)

[enhancer 1,582]

Ya I don't get why people bother lying on their profile! They have to know the truth will come out when they meet in person. As far as the weight listed on someone's profile we could care less, because we are not even going to start talking to people unless they have pictures of everyone who wants to be involved that clearly show their body type. We are beyond tired of trying to pry pictures out of people that show interest in us. We have plenty of pics of both of our bodies from every imaginable angle on our profiles. We also add new ones on a regular basis. If people want to talk then we expect the same from them. Weight is just a number. Pictures tell us more. If we meet and those pictures are not accurate see you later. For the record we do not mind penis,pussy or dirty pics as long as that isn't all they have. If we can't see your body and then your face there will be no talk of meeting.

[enhancer 1,582]

I would like to say also that to date neither one of us has been with a woman that isn't extra on the curves like Ms Enhancer is. We are both attracted to women with real bodies and real curves. Personality in person will always trump looks for us, but that is what we look for to begin with. We are not attracted to the tall skinny model look, but tons of people are and that is their right.

 

Don't settle for something you don't want, but it doesn't hurt to meet people in person for a no commitment drink and see if there is something there. We have been pleasantly surprised doing that.

[Fundamental Law 2,882]

Often the weight/height/age representations are aspirational. (See also: genital dimensions ) The problem arises when aspiration is confused with fantasy (this is true in many aspects of the LS ). Our take--we have gravitated to couples who are well grounded in reality. We find it reassuring on first meeting them that their posted photos were recent and representative.

[njbm 2,863]

I saw a SLS profile that requested BMI figures of a very narrow range. Harsh! There are some chubby people who are fun and sexually proficient!

[Sjmar 141]

I saw a SLS profile that requested BMI figures of a very narrow range. Harsh! There are some chubby people who are fun and sexually proficient!

Haha, like me!!!