When one pair finishes playing first

[Guest FunintheSnow]

A comment on the thread/poll about same vs. separate rooms reminded me of a question that's been on my mind--in your experience, what tends to happen when one pair finishes having sex in same-room play? Does the other pair feel pressure to finish up?

 

Edited to add: Yeah, I know someone's always going to finish first, barring wild coincidences. But I couldn't think of a better way to put it.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We've both been on each end of this scenario, and it really depended on the situation. Sometimes we've watched the other, sometimes we go grab a drink and chat outside the room. For us there isn't a wrong move, but for some couples they may have a preference.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

It kind of depends on the venue. In a hotel room, private play room at a club, or something like that, then yes, we do feel some pressure to finish up. For a little while just sitting and watching the others still going at it is fun and feels natural, but after a while, it starts to feel awkward I think. Along the lines of my answer in the same vs. separate thread you referenced, that's why given our druthers, we like to play somewhere where there is room for everyone to do what feels right to them right then without having to worry about making the others feel pressured or uncomfortable.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Hmm...do you think this would be something it would be worth discussing beforehand, if it could be done naturally? I have another post burning in my brain, all about how much folks discuss things beforehand (because real-life LS seems to involve a lot less discussion than I had been led to believe by podcasts and books)... but for now, I'm wondering aloud whether my husband and I could figure out our feelings about this and share them with the other couple ("Hey, if two of us are going at it and the other two are done, sometimes we throw a towel on and head out for some water...would that bother you?") I dunno... I have the newbie fear of over-discussing everything.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think the example you gave with the going out for some water would be just fine and no one should be bothered by that...or they shouldn't be anyways.

 

You bring up a very interesting point about how in real life things don't get discussed as much as you might think; I would agree that is true. But, I think there is an explanation for that too. In real life, you get all the visual clues too like body language, etc. that is completely lacking in a forum post or whatever. Here we have to type everything out, there you will be able to answer many things with fewer words. Like the example you gave with the going out for water...if someone replied, "oh, we always stay together all of the time when playing" then that answers that question about the water break, but also is a really good indicator on whether they play separate room, whether they might be up for solo play if you all hit it off good, and so on.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I have a couple of examples of what not to do if you finish first. Do NOT watch the other couple and give loud play-by-play with color commentary! We have also had cases where one of us ( the Mrs. ) has finished first, and they and their play partner began chatting and laughing, which is kinda distracting. That one made me say, while trying to keep a rhythm going, "Hey, do ya mind? We're trying to fuck over here!"

 

We tend to play this kind of thing by ear, rather than discussing a detail like this beforehand. Generally, our M.O. is to keep voices low, and maybe chat quietly, if we're not watching while cuddling with our play partner. Sometimes we will excuse ourselves and retire to another room.

[Guest]

To me, this can be awkward, especially if the guy you were with heads to the bathroom afterwards leaving you completely alone. The last time it happened, at a couples club, another gentleman offered to join me and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Hubby was quite pleased with my decision as he continued with his adventure.

[Sophy 569]

It has never an issue for us. If I am done I can catch a break an clean myself a little bit with some baby wipes or if is the case I can go to the toilet and sit for a minute to allow the semen to exit me.

 

Sometimes I can loan a hand and participate a little bit with the other couple, it depends.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

chiccouplexx said:

To me, this can be awkward, especially if the guy you were with heads to the bathroom afterwards leaving you completely alone.

 

Well, that is kinda rude. Did he excuse himself at least, or just get up and leave?

 

 

chiccouplexx said:

The last time it happened, at a couples club, another gentleman offered to join me and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Hubby was quite pleased with my decision as he continued with his adventure.

 

Serves guy #1 right for abandoning you! I hope you enjoyed guy #2!

[kikonkrome 844]

I have a couple of examples of what not to do if you finish first. Do NOT watch the other couple and give loud play-by-play with color commentary! We have also had cases where one of us ( the Mrs. ) has finished first, and they and their play partner began chatting and laughing, which is kinda distracting. That one made me say, while trying to keep a rhythm going, "Hey, do ya mind? We're trying to fuck over here!"

 

We tend to play this kind of thing by ear, rather than discussing a detail like this beforehand. Generally, our M.O. is to keep voices low, and maybe chat quietly, if we're not watching while cuddling with our play partner. Sometimes we will excuse ourselves and retire to another room.

 

So I like chatting while fucking either play by play or listening to other people. It's really a turn on something I totally discovered from swinging. I understand I am in the minority though.

 

It has never an issue for us,

Sometimes I can loan a hand and participate a little bit with the other couple, it depends.

 

This is our go to and most fun solution to the problem. Kinda depends on what position they are in. But I really enjoy getting my wife off so it's pretty hard not to want to jump in!!

 

To me, this can be awkward, especially if the guy you were with heads to the bathroom afterwards leaving you completely alone. The last time it happened, at a couples club, another gentleman offered to join me and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Hubby was quite pleased with my decision as he continued with his adventure.

 

I have had the same thing from a woman. It was awkward I will admit. Luckily it was not really a long time with the other couple in the room, so no big deal.

 

I guess our go to and the most fun is jumping in on their fun to help the situation along. Kissing, touching, etc. I have had quiet whispered conversations with my partner about the action. I have had my partner masturbate while the other couple finishes, which I have always thought was fun.

 

I have no idea what the other couple is doing while waiting for me as I am just really in the heat of the moment. Like I said I kinda like talking while fucking. I guess there is more of that now that I think about it?

[Shore2Please 610]

A good reason to be in separate rooms. No wondering what to do.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

kikonkrome said:

So I like chatting while fucking either play by play or listening to other people. It's really a turn on something I totally discovered from swinging. I understand I am in the minority though.

 

I want to clarify that I was not referring to dirty talking during sex! I LOVE doing that, describing how my play partner is feeling good or making me feel good. I was only referring to the too-loud, distracting, off-topic talking.

[Sjmar 141]

Why not join in a bit? Even if it's just a little bit of touching- lend a hand (or tongue) to help move things along while making their experience even more fun!

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Why not join in a bit? Even if it's just a little bit of touching- lend a hand (or tongue) to help move things along while making their experience even more fun!

 

I think it depends on the situation and the play partners. Sometimes the distraction could interrupt the flow and slow things down!

[M1F2KTJ 473]

The pair who finishes first gets to relax and enjoy the show. Don't stop! Keep going!

[kikonkrome 844]

I want to clarify that I was not referring to dirty talking during sex! I LOVE doing that, describing how my play partner is feeling good or making me feel good. I was only referring to the too-loud, distracting, off-topic talking.

 

mmm...sounds dreamy...I know I think I have some kind of kink with it, true story:blush: I get off on people chatting around me. Either to me or not to me. Especially while fucking.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Not asking for more advice, just sharing a couple of experiences we've had since I first posted.

 

Mr. Fun and I played with a couple in a suite. Ater I finished with my playmate, I watched him and his partner a bit with my playmate. He made eye contact once and said later that he was trying to invite us in, but I didn't get the message. :-) I didn't want to interrupt. So we made the following agreement: whichever one of us finishes first is welcome to come and join or to request the spouse back (while being respectful of the playmate's wishes).

 

So the next time we played, I finished and approached the other bed with my play partner. The wife loudly warned us off! It was kind of funny at the time and I wasn't upset, but I did give Mr. Fun a bit of a hard time later because of our agreement. He said he didn't know what was going on because his back was to us, so we refined our plan to include touching him to get his attention (if I really did want him). I later laughed with the wife over it.

 

Our next playtime involved continual group touching, including one interlude when all three people were paying attention to me (heaven) and the "finishing first" thing didn't arise.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

LOL, I guess every situation is different. The part about paying attention to the play partners' wishes sounds especially important!

 

I will admit that, more often than not, I might want to have the chance to finish with my play partner if the Mrs. and the other guy finish first. After all, I've got this beautiful, sexy person to play with, and I don't necessarily want to share her or have her get distracted from our encounter. Now, if we were talking about Round 2 with another couple, then I think I'd be more up for all joining in!

[Guest]

CoupleInMD79 said:

Well, that is kinda rude. Did he excuse himself at least, or just get up and leave?

 

Serves guy #1 right for abandoning you! I hope you enjoyed guy #2!

 

Yes, guy 1 politely excused himself, but it was a case where he got off and I didn’t. And, yes, I did enjoy guy number 2, he got the job done.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

Still can't navigate the board smoothly. In response to CoupleinMD's last comment...

 

Well, I would still want my husband to make eye contact, since I could be wanting to convey anything from "care for a third?" to "grab your clothes; something happened and I want to leave this second."

[njbm 2,868]

When we host, the couple finishing first often goes from our master bedroom to the bedroom next door. It's fun because we can hear the other couple, but it allows them some space and privacy to finish their session.

[couplers 4,614]

Among our closed poly family of two men, three women we pretty much have it figured out. The most important thing is to be polite - if you're interested you can "help" the others, but do not distract. Usually the guy or guys wander off after orgasm while the women adapt and continue wither stimulating and/or being stimulated...

[Sheandme 16]

First one who finishes should be put in charge of ballplay and whatnot. I bet that would cure premature ejaculation right up if you knew you were on ball duty as soon as ya cum.

[WesternSwing 504]

I've always sat with my partner, talked a little and watched our respective significant others bang each other silly. Live sex is always the hottest sex to watch.

[laitauchoco 15]

When one of the couple have finished I think the intensity falls down and you straight feel it, this is a fact. On the other hand it depends on the affinity you have with the other couple, the more you know them the less the situation will be awkward.

 

I like when it is over that my wife comes back to me.

[let's do it again 414]

I don't feel pressured to hurry up unless my partner wants me to, and if we are being watched I try to drag it out as long as possible. If we finish first, we will either watch or take a shower together to get round 2 started. 

[couplers 4,614]

On 7/19/2017 at 5:27 AM, laitauchoco said:

I like when it is over that my wife comes back to me.

I like playing in the sloppy aftermath of another couple's love making.  As a bi woman, I enjoy either one but the guy is usually taking some down time. 

[reveur 60]

Following possibility we had already:

- to go out of the room to get a drink, to make us clean or just chatted. 

- we watch both. 

- I watch or I get out for a drink or clean, when the wife help the other couple FMF. 

- the wife watch or get out for drink or clean, when my wife ask for DP.