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Swarly84

Need advice on getting started with MFMs

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We are a couple that is new to the lifestyle.

 

We want to setup a MFM and would like some advice on finding a good guy.

We aren't sure if Craigslist, the SLS website, or some other site would be the best route.

 

Any tips and suggestions on how to best go about finding a guy and not a couple?

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I'd recommend staying away from CraigsList, too many horror stories associated with looking for sex partners there. SLS would be a good way to go...if you want to find swingers then go where the swingers go. Put up a profile stating what you are seeking and watch your inbox blow up from guys who would like to be a part of that...that's where the work is going to come in though, sorting through all of those messages to find the right guy that 1) is real and really will show up, and 2) understands what his role is in this and why he is being invited to join in.

 

My general advice would be to not rush into anything, and don't settle. Finding a single guy for a threesome is the easiest thing to do in swinging since there is no shortage of single guys and so you will have a lot to choose from, which is where the don't settle for less thing comes in...just be patient and find the right guy and the odds of everyone having a great experience go up significantly.

 

Good luck on your search and please keep us posted on how it goes!

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I agree with the great advice you've gotten above. I might add that SLS allows you to indicate your level of interest in couples, single guys, and single women. If you accurately indicate that you have interest only in single guys, and have no interest in couples or single women, you'll be doing yourself a favor. Of course, an added reminder in the text of your profile helps, too!

 

As a married guy who sometimes plays solo, and who is happy to participate in MFMs, I encourage you to consider being open to my type as well! I suspect that guys in my situation may understand the role of the extra guy in an MFM well.

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Our first MFM was with the male half of a couple that had approached us about swinging together. We had not previously talked about swinging of any type so their “come-on” to us got us talking. I had concerns about having sex with another woman so through our discussions, we decided MFM to be a good starting point. Being with a man who had been involved with various aspects of swinging was comforting and got us off on the right foot. Since then, most of the guys we have had MFM with have been ones we meet at a bar and they start chatting with us. You might consider going to a swing club where you meet and talk first; often times, on SLS or Craig, people are not exactly as they portray themselves.

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As stated, there are a LOT of guys looking for an mfm. I didn't say single guys because a large number will be married. The problem is not finding a guy, but wading thru myriad replies looking for the right man. To us, it's all about our ad or profile.

 

When going thru the daily pile of replies, you need to be able to quickly discard the guys that have a low probability of working out. What has worked for us has been to ask specific questions in an ad or profile to be answered in replies. No answer means not read, not read means trolling, delete. Also it helps to ask for a specific word in the subject of replies. That eliminates a lot of replies that don't even need opened before deleting them. After that, choose the best of the ones left.

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Speaking as someone who has no luck with finding people online, my wife and I tend toward the "meet guys at the local swingers club" route. This generally consists of going on to a club which allows single guys and chatting with them (where "chatting" can mean anything from "Hi, my name is..." to "Do you want to fuck?").

 

For us, it's easier to meet people in person because 1) you know they're real and 2) you can get a sense from them right away, to see if the attraction, attitude, etc are right for you.

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Speaking as someone who has no luck with finding people online, my wife and I tend toward the "meet guys at the local swingers club" route. This generally consists of going on to a club which allows single guys and chatting with them (where "chatting" can mean anything from "Hi, my name is..." to "Do you want to fuck?").

 

My gf and I are trying a resort for the first time this weekend using this approach. We're both excited. I hope it works out. Will let you know.

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I think everyone who has said trying to find them at clubs or swing events that allow single men sounds like great advice! Meeting in person is always better in the lifestyle. Where we live that isn't an option. No clubs anywhere near us and no real swing scene. We do go to some big private parties a few hours away a few times a year, but only couple and single women are invited to them.

 

As for the online thing which is how we have to go about meeting people most of the time you are going to need to have thick skin! Even more so looking for men. Craigslist is full of creeps, cheaters, cock pic losers, desperate guys, old lonely men and all sorts of weirdo's so unless you are looking for those things I suggest avoid.

 

You would be better of trying one of the swing or adult dating sights where you are! Setup a very clear profile about what you are looking for and not looking for. It doesn't matter what you say on it there will be tones of guys hitting you up. Do not settle for just anyone. Settle for the one that meets the requirements you are looking for. There will be lots more hitting you up. Also suggest that you say on your profile that you would have to meet in person first to check chemistry before you will make a commitment to more. This will get rid of a lot of the trash.

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So, for starters, me and my girlfriend are new to this aren't really even looking to make anything happen until years down the road. But she brought up the fantasy of wanting to be gang banged by myself and another male. At first, I shot it down but now the idea of it completely turns me on, plus I feel as though I should help her achieve everything she wants in life. But really, we don't know where to even begin. She would obviously wanna get to know whoever it was that we decide to include, but we plan on moving so we'll be in a new area with nobody we know. So, how exactly should we go about finding a third man (when the time comes) to help us fulfill this fantasy? Any and all suggestions are very much appreciated!

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Actually, the fact you're moving could be a good thing. Look for guys in the area you plan to move to. This way it would prevent you from actually meeting before getting well acquainted. You could put an ad on SLS using the new location.

 

And, taking your time is a good thing. Enjoy the fantasy! Good luck to you both!

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Welcome to The Swingers Board! I think you came to the right place to get great advise on proceeding on this most awesome fantasy. But first, mine.

Since you are starting over in a new area, you will both be making new friends. As you meet people, keep this fantasy in mind. Even if you don't find anyone, think of the fun and funny conversations you can have with each other.

If you are looking for a friend first, it will probably be a co-worker. Be careful, obviously make sure he can be trusted.

Enjoy the search! Enjoy the site! Keep us informed on progress.

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Hello, Newbie822, and welcome to SwingersBoard!

 

An MFM three-way is all kinds of fun, and the woman gets to be the center of attention! It's great that you two have talked about this fantasy, and that you both are turned on by it. It is also good to talk over the whole scenario, including any potential for jealousy, and other issues, concerns, insecurities that either of you may have. It is also prudent for you to discuss any rules or limits you want to have in place.

 

You should not have much trouble finding applicants for the position you seek. I recommend that you sign up on one of the swinger sites that are dedicated to helping swingers to meet, such as SLS, SDC, SZC, Swingtowns, APG, Kasidie, or Quiver. Put up an interesting profile that describes you two and what you're looking for. Be sure to include a picture or two- profiles with pictures get a lot more attention!

 

There are lots of single and solo guys on these sites, so you can afford to be selective. You can bypass those who are not respectful, courteous, and well-rounded individuals, and focus on the guys who seem interesting, polite, and willing to talk about more than just sex!

 

Good luck, and let us know how it's going!

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:Welcome: from Oklahoma, Newbie! That's a great question and you'll get lots of answers. The chapter, "A Rich Adventure," is how my late wife and I did it. It's in the free sample of our novel below.

 

Make new friends. Decide how open they are. If they're not, move on and wait for the right combination happens, whether it be a couple or lone male.

 

Good luck to y'all in your adventure together!

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:Welcome:

 

Start with reading in the "Curious About Swinging" forum and make sure that you two are ready to start with this...then start. We wish you both luck with making your fantasies come true.

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      It wasn’t long before I was completely embedded inside the warmth of this woman. Using her body to stroke me, she would take me shallow, then deep strokes, occasionally stopping, deeply penetrating, and grinding on me, almost like dancing on me with her hips. I could hear her murmuring something from time to time, but I didn’t make out what she was saying. I was too engrossed with what she was doing to me.
       
      After a while, she stood, releasing my cock. She turned, facing me, and straddled my waist. Grasping my cock she guided me into her, and she settled completely on my cock. “Damn babe, do that again,” Darrell, now directing this video. I didn’t care at all; I was thoroughly enjoying myself.
       
      He directed her to rise up almost off me the slowly back down. I was lost in her breasts hanging down on me, her nipples brushing along my chest with her rocking motion. Judy’s breathing was quickening with the occasional moan. I loved stroking her breasts, using both hands to hold and squeeze while my mouth teased and pulled on her nipples. She started to ride me harder for a while, stopping every so often with full penetration, wiggling her hips. Once she started raising herself completely and then slamming herself back onto me, taking full, deep strokes, I started to feel that I was getting there.
       
      “I need you to take me,” mumbled Judy as she raised herself off of me. I stood, and she knelt on the ottoman. I accepted the offer of taking her from behind, but I took my time. Partial and shallow strokes, then slowly pushing in deep.
       
      Gauging that she was comfortable with this, I spread her cheeks apart with my hands, went as deep as possible, and paused. With each deep penetration and pause, she would gasp slightly and pump and grind against me.
       
      I’m not sure who was breathing more excitedly, Judy, me, or Darrell, who was totally lost in videoing and watching through the lens. He had swapped out his phone for a handheld video camera at some point, but I am not sure when. I hadn’t noticed.
       
      Judy set the pace. She started bucking back onto me hard and solid. I took the hint and picked up the pace, slamming back into her with full deep strokes. Her verbal jerky breathless “aaahhhs” and “oohhhs” excited me and Darrell. He was moving around us videoing from various angles commenting as he goes.
       
      Judy announced we had to stop. I was concerned if she was ok. She was; she just wanted to be on her back.
       
      She grasped my hand and, giggling, pulled me quickly down the hall, with Darrell a step behind me, to a bedroom. She sat on the bed and quickly took me into her mouth, running her tongue along my length. She laid back her butt on the edge of the bed, pulling me to her. “Fuck me hard,” she said, “but I want you to cum in my mouth.” I nodded that I understood.
      I position myself between her raised legs. She pulled her legs back and wide open, bent at the knees. I leaned in, pressing myself against her opening, grasping each breast in my hands. Bending to nuzzle and suck on her nipples made me enter her partially, making Judy wriggle a light and let out an audible sigh. I squeezed both breasts together and alternated between each nipple as I started to push deeper inside her. She wiggled her hips, trying to press onto me. Once fully penetrated, she ground herself on me.
       
      After a few minutes, I raised myself above her and started slowly pumping into her. I alternated shallow pumping with a few deep full strokes and, from time to time, pressing deep into her and just grinding against her. It seemed to excite her, judging by her body response and breathy moans. “Fuck me hard,” she said, “take me hard!” Our director shouted the same, “Pound her hard!”
       
      Placing a hand on each thigh to hold her legs open and back, I started a steady thrusting, alternating occasionally slamming against her hard. Judy responded with pleasing moans. She fondled and squeezed her breasts and then gathered them both on her chest, cradled by both her upper arms. Her breasts rocked and waved with each thrust. It was marvelous. I was desperately trying to keep the same pace.
       
      Judy traced her fingers over her lower tummy, bringing both over the top of her pubic mound. Her fingers, finding her sweet spot, started vigorously rubbing above her clitoris. I continued to piston in and out of Judy. Her mouth opened, and her breathing sounded labored.
       
      After a few minutes, she started to make a soft-pitched whimpering noise. I continued to thrust hard into her. Only slightly withdrawing, then slamming back into her, making her whole body jerk, her breasts jolting about with each impact. Her whining noise was getting a bit higher and louder, and then it hit. She suddenly sucked in a big breath of air, her head picked up off the bed, a long guttural moan that ended on a high note. “Aarrggeeeee!” Then, her back arched as she slammed her head back, followed by rapid breathing and intermittent uncontrolled giggling. I felt her contraction, an intense gripping of my cock as she climaxed.
       
      I slowed to a slow, deliberate, full-stroke penetration. I knew I was very close. I declared, “I’m going to cum!” and pulled out of Judy and stepped back. Judy slinked off the bed to her knees on the floor. I was pumping my cock by hand. Judy pushed it aside and started to rapidly jerk my cock by hand. “Cum for me, come on, cum” Judy repeated this a few times as the build-up reached its peak. I moaned low and loud. The first volley went across her open mouth and right cheek. The next, she aimed me directly into her mouth. Third and forth, under her chin and neck, the remaining small spurts and drops landed scattered over her breasts. “Wow, oh my god!” Judy squealed excitedly.
       
      Darrell was beside himself with excitement. Other than the pictures and videos they made themselves, this was the first video allowed with someone other than Darrell. He said, “This is crazy sexy, hot as hell”! The clock in the bedroom indicated we had been at this for about 90 minutes. A first for all of us. But to be fair, a hell of a lot of manual and oral play, stop and start, prolonged it all. Judy agreed, reached over, and pulled Darrell to her. She quickly pulled down his sweatpants and promptly took his cock in her mouth. I picked up their video camera and started videoing the two of them.
       
      Judy had Darrell hard in just a few seconds. She made an extra effort to lavish his cock with her mouth, bobbing her head up and down and then swallowing him whole.
       
      She then pulled him down on top of her. He quickly slipped inside her and started hammering away with Judy, encouraging him along, “Take me baby, fill me up!”
       
      From my view, I had a clear shot of him pumping his cock in and out of her. With her telling him to take her hard, cum for her, and watching the two of us for the past hour and a half, he had no hope of lasting very long. He started groaning, Judy telling him to fill her. He let out a bellow and started cumming inside her. I caught the whole thing on video. His pumping and cumming. His cum leaking around his cock out of her. And when he pulled out, the cum leaked out of her. When things calmed down, he viewed the video and couldn’t believe how hard he came and how much he gave her. Judy chimed in, “And you said you didn’t have anymore, holding out on me.”
       
      We didn’t get dressed. We went into the kitchen and talked about what had just happened and past swinging adventures. About an hour later, Judy walked over to me and asked if I could go again. I looked at Darrell, and he quickly shook his head yes. “If you can, that would be awesome”. I agreed.
       
      We walked back to the bedroom and climbed up on the bed. We kissed and fondled each other a little bit. I then positioned myself on my left side and maneuvered Judy on her back with her legs up and over my hip. I easily slipped my semi-soft cock inside her. She was very warm and wet from Darrell. My hands were free to caress and squeeze her breasts. Darrell switched between videoing and kissing Judy. He occasionally played and sucked on her breasts. I slowly pumped a little into Judy. After a few moments, she exclaimed, “I can feel you growing inside me,” and giggled in amazement.
       
      Once I was fully hard I changed position to a supporting missionary. Using my knees to keep Judy’s legs open and my arms keeping me up to watch and nibble on her breasts. I started slow, long thrusts and built up to harder, faster, full-length thrusts. In about fifteen minutes, I was pulling out and dribbling cum on her tummy. Judy sat up and slid down, taking me into her mouth, making an effort to suck and lick me clean.
       
      It was almost noon, and I had to run to get home on time. We promised each other we would get together soon, all four of us. And that we did. They joined our group and played once or twice a month at our parties. We also traveled and shared very often for 4 - 5 years. Then, they moved to New Mexico for Darrell’s work.
    • By Interestme82
      Hi out there. I’m married and in an evolving relationship. Last year I did a burlesque photo shoot for him as a gift. He loved the way it turned out but asked if I’d be willing to do something more risqué in the future. I got a reference from the original photographer (female) and told my husband the new photographer would be a male. Being the protective husband he is we both requested a meeting over a cup of coffee. We met which was great and made things all the more comfortable. I loved what I saw from his book and my husband did as well. 
       
      We had the shoot and the pictures came out great. He got really turned on by knowing another guy was doing the pictures. I was shocked. I asked him if he’d consider doing a couples shoot with me and he said he’d try but was reluctant. Pretty soon after he agreed and we were off again.
       
      Prior to the shoot my husband and the photographer talked about his career. My husband, who’s faithful, shocked me a bit with his envy and open talk about what the photographer experienced. I’m extremely open and joined in the conversation. Both of us felt like we were conversing with someone we really liked and knew a lot longer than we actually did. Unfortunately my husband had difficulties getting hard which is completely out of the ordinary. The photographer said it happened a lot and just to relax. 
       
      Surprisingly at my husband's request he asked for me to do a POV shoot the photographer showed us in his book. Basically it’s the photographer including himself in various ways while taking the pictures. As we started taking the pictures I liked being touched by the photographer even though it wasn’t active foreplay or sex. It really was strictly for the pictures themselves. During the pictures my husband quickly got hard and watched. Eventually the photographer asked him if he was going to get involved. The rest of the shoot went as we planned. Afterwards we all sat around and talked and went through the pictures.
       
      Some time passed again and we talked a lot about the fun we had with it. My husband admitted he liked watching the photographer touch me and if not for that he may have been to nervous to get hard. 

      I really want this to develop further but I’m apprehensive because it’s a major change in life obviously. I’m also not sure about how I feel about seeing him with someone else. When I say I’m not sure I mean most likely not. I don’t even really think he wants to. I almost feel like if I bring that up it will be too much too fast. Multiple times when having sex we’ve dirty talked about me doing another shoot and giving myself up. I’d feel more comfortable to actually do it than talk about it. 
       
      I feel like my husband has opened a door that I want to walk into. Am I reading it wrong? Is it best for me to just set something else up and let it work itself the way it will? Based on our interactions I have no doubt the photographer would be into it also. Would I be going to far given our relationship if I reached out to the him and told him how I feel, how my husband feels, and confirm he’d say yes? 
       
       
    • By SwingersBoard
      My story is about my ex-wife and myself and one of the adventures including my best friend. She was a quiet woman, but the quiet ones can be very wild. We had our first threesome shortly after our first child was born.
       
      We had been partying and all of us were feeling pretty good. Christen and I had a few encounters with my friend Jeff. On this particular night, she came up to me and kissed me while I was looking in the fridge. Some of our guests were laughing and joking in the other room. I gave her that glance that she knew I was asking if she wanted to have a smaller, more private party. She shook her head yes, sucked my tongue into her mouth, and went back into the other room. The party started winding down another hour or so later, and as the last of the guest were leaving my wife went upstairs. Just Jeff and I remained downstairs. I asked if he was ready for another party and he was. He always was with her. She isn't overly pretty or have that model body, but she could certainly fuck good. We went upstairs and found her in the bedroom.
       
      We both went over, me stripping off my clothes while Jeff just climbed onto the bed. My wife then rolled towards him and they started kissing. I just sat on the edge of the bed watching them, stroking my dick. I was so hard. I watched her unzip his pants and pull them down with his help. Once free of his pants the shirt came off. He laid on his side and she went down and took his cock into her mouth. She sucked the head nice and slow, running her tongue all over it. I heard him moan and then watched as he reached into her panties he started rubbing her clit. My cock was hard than granite at this point. I was stroking myself pretty good by this point, but was waiting for more action before I joined in. I saw her wrap her hand around his cock and pump it while she sucked him in over and over again. I reached over and pulled her panties down her legs and off. She wasn't wearing a bra so when I helped her out of her shirt, her breasts were free for the taking.
       
      They moved into the center of the bed, with him on his back. She again sucked his cock a few more times and then started to position herself above him. Straddling his body she reached down and grabbed his hard cock and aimed it at her pussy. I moved around the bed and watched as she lowered herself onto his pole. Slowly the head disappeared and inch by inch she took him until he was in balls deep. She ground on him for a few minutes, slowly gaining speed. My cock was ready to burst. I almost lose my mind when I see her fucking him on top. She really loves to be in control too. He was sucking her breasts and she was moaning really loud. She knows that I love to do her doggy style, but I thought that she had too much on her mind to stop in the middle of this and let me take her.
       
      To my surprise, she pulled herself off and started sucking him again between his spread legs. She rarely will suck any dick after she has ridden it for a while since she doesn't like the taste of her pussy, but she was sucking again with a passion. Her ass was sticking high in the air, with her back arched. I saw this as my invitation, and crawled on my knees up behind her, he with one stroke I was in the wettest, loosest pussy I have been in. I love the feel of her pussy after someone else has been in it for a while. I usually cum within a few minutes, but I guess my cock was extra hard from watching for so long. Also, I hadn't expected her to ride him so quickly which added to me being turned on so much. I was fucking her with long, hard, deep strokes. Fucking with a power that only sharing her with another man can give me. After a mind blowing 15 minutes, she slammed back at me real hard and I started cumming inside of her. I have to keep pumping until my orgasm is finished.
       
      I rolled over and she rolled off of him and in between us on the bed. We all fell asleep, but I was awaken to the bed moving. She was again riding his cock, but she was lying down flat on him. I started to jerk off at the sight of what I was witnessing. I heard her start to moan and soon she was cumming. She rode him a few more minutes until he too had finished letting loose another load of sperm in my wife. I came shortly afterwards all over my stomach. When we awoke in the morning, everyone had those morning after thoughts of what we had done. I left to take a shower and when I came back I noticed she was again blowing him through the crack in the door. I just watched as she sucked him for 20 minutes or so. Eventually, he groaned and filled her mouth with cum. She got off the bed heading to the bathroom I guess to spit the load in the sink. But as she went by she said I darling, kissed me and continued on her way. I couldn't believe she actually swallowed his load. Something she never had done with me.
       
      The next night I had to work and the three of us got it on just an hour before I was leaving. When I left I had cum and showered quickly. Leaving Jeff and my wife to fuck the rest of the night away. The next morning when he came to work we passed each other smiling in the hallway. I went home that morning to a very tired wife. She told me she loved getting fucked by other men.
       
      We divorced about six years later, but I have many fond memories of her sucking and fucking other men. I used to let her go out to get fucked by someone she had met in a bar. But, that is another story. I wish my current fiance would let another man fuck her, but she so far, isn't into it and I'm not pushing. These stories fill my need to have MFM threesomes. There is nothing like watching your woman with another man.
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