Religion and Swinging?

[Walterwhite2323 16]

Curious as to what or if you are a religous person? How do you fit that into your lifestyle?

[Lionheart72 2,190]

I think it really depends on your particular religious beliefs. Not all religions, not even all denominations of Christianity, are "anti-sex."

 

For my particular faith, sex is pleasurable physical activity and a celebration of life. So, there is nothing wrong with sharing it. I could even argue there are times when such sharing in encouraged.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I think it really depends on your particular religious beliefs. Not all religions, not even all denominations of Christianity, are "anti-sex."

 

For my particular faith, sex is pleasurable physical activity and a celebration of life. So, there is nothing wrong with sharing it. I could even argue there are times when such sharing in encouraged.

 

May I ask what faith you are?

 

I am Unitarian Universalist which is a very open minded community. Some people within our fellowship are Christian, Jewish, Pagan or Buddhist, but most are humanists or atheists.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

We've had a few threads about religion and swinging over the years, and they are a good place to see how many people manage their religion and swinging lives. Search Tag: Religion

 

Nothing wrong with starting a new thread though. It's usually interesting to see what even more members do with religion and how it does or doesn't impact their swinging activities.

[njbm 2,880]

We practice swinging religiously. We are both Jewish by birth, atheists by choice.

[njbm 2,880]

We find the Universalist Unitarians appealing.

[ViSexual 1,008]

I'm an atheist but I don't think that swinging has anything to do with religion. The religions that denounce infidelity wouldn't, shouldn't, denounce a couple engaging in activities together. And, if you're doing this together, it's not infidelity at all.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

May I ask what faith you are?

 

I am Unitarian Universalist which is a very open minded community. Some people within our fellowship are Christian, Jewish, Pagan or Buddhist, but most are humanists or atheists.

 

Neo-pagan is probably the simplest answer. My wife is UU.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

We are mixed, Judaism and Presbyterian, neither observant. We accept that there are some things that are intrinsically unknowable. We strive to leave the earth somehow better than we arrived.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Christian here...we are in some of those religion threads too. Old Testament and Roman empire had LOTS of swinging and open relationships. New Testament didn't have them since people had started moving into cities and large families were not needed for the family 'business'.

[intuition897 2,179]

I grew up Anglican. Spent a lot of Sundays admiring the beautiful stained glass windows of my 150 year old country church, wishing I could just make myself believe what they were telling me to believe. Ultimately, I couldn't swallow it - not all of it at least. I have labeled myself "ecclectic Christian" because I've taken the best of what Christianity has to offer, and the rest I've had to either take with a grain of salt, or discard entirely. And no, I don't mean that I've just thrown out the inconvenient bits.

 

My worldview has changed quite a lot since my youth. As I've matured, I'm less and less afraid of letting the Truth be whatever it is, and simply more interested in seeking it out wherever it may be. This is experimental philosophy here, so bear with me. I believe there are three parts to it: 1) Building the strength of character necessary to weather the storms of The Truth That Is, 2) Developing wisdom and vision to see The Truth That Should Be, and 3) Having the intestinal fortitude to make The Truth That Should Be into The Truth That Is. As for my philosophy on how to treat people, it's pretty simple: everybody just mind your business, help people whenever you can, don't hurt them, and basically just don't be an asshole.

 

But the question was how we reconcile swinging and religion. My take on it is we do this from a place of generosity of spirit, respect for ourselves, our relationship and the relationships of others, and what we do, we do with honesty and integrity. We do this out of love and respect for one another, giving one another our sexual independence back. Any god that could not see the beauty of this is not a god I could persuade myself to follow, because he is not aligned with the truth. And God is synonymous with Truth.

[kikonkrome 844]

I am a UU as well, but must admit I have never heard of any version of swinging or polyamory discussed at the coffee after service. Still my experience is limited. I have heard some other out of the norm...at the far end of the general distribution curve...topics discussed.

 

One of the more interesting parts of the 'Thy Neighbors Wife' was the religious organization that practiced non-monogamy.

[njbm 2,880]

A friend of mine used to say he had a mixed marriage. He was an atheist and his wife was agnostic.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

I am a UU as well, but must admit I have never heard of any version of swinging or polyamory discussed at the coffee after service. Still my experience is limited. I have heard some other out of the norm...at the far end of the general distribution curve...topics discussed.

 

One of the more interesting parts of the 'Thy Neighbors Wife' was the religious organization that practiced non-monogamy.

 

There is a UU America Poly organization and we have pamphlets about it in our church. There are some openly poly people in our fellowship. I have discussed non-monogamy and my relationship with people in a small group. I don't use the term swinger initially when talking to people, I say open marriage or ethical non-monogamy because that seems to generate less gasping and fanning.

 

I actually found the UU church because of a member here on swingers board!

[Alura 2,774]

Religion? Sigh. I think those who "know" there is no God are as off-base as those who "know" there is a God. Both stands are founded on faith, not knowledge.

 

Religion and Swinging? The man from Galilee didn't seem to consider sex to be a "sin." He was almost assuredly married (probably to Mary Magdalene). That he was allowed to speak in the Synagogues tells us this. Single men were not so privileged. The two probably produced a son and a daughter, but this will likely never be confirmed.

 

When Constantine decided The Roman Empire needed a new religion because people were troubled with Jupiter and all his fornicating Gods and Goddesses, he sought a philosophy that would not depart from the mores of the established Roman practices. Particularly, he didn't want women to be elevated above their slave-like status. They might want to (Gasp!) VOTE! if they were afforded the status advocated by Jesus. When Constantine convened the Nicaean Council (325AD) to write the Bible, the scribes were told to use Saul of Tarsus' epistles, to keep the women and slaves sitting in the upper levels of the Coliseum (mainly). Saul (Saint Paul) is thought by some historians to have been an ugly man, probably hunch-backed and a dwarf, not the sort of man women lusted for. Relegating women to dirt under his feet was easy for him.

 

Saul considered sex to be a distraction, something that took a believer's mind away from seeking his salvation. Saul thought God was supremely pissed-off (that his Son had been killed) and would surely destroy the world, if not this afternoon or tomorrow, surely by next week.

 

When "The Divine Feminine" emerged in southern France in the Middle Ages, it was dealt with brutally by the Papacy. It has been an uphill struggle for women ever since. To have sex has been considered to be less-than-an-honorable act.

[Sjmar 141]

I am a Yogini, and my Yoga is my spiritual foundation. In Yoga (we are talking about the 5000 year old practice, not a yoga flavored exercise class at the gym), it is said that we are all just threads in a greater fabric. It's about connection with others, recognizing that none of us are really separate.

And so the LS can be a beautiful extension of that, making connections with others on all kinds of wonderful levels. I am very mindful to only play with others who seem to have the values of honesty, respect for their partner and open communication as I do, and will not play with someone who is cheating on a partner (or otherwise engaging in deceitful or cruel behavior). This is also the reason I choose to only play with those who kiss- often a no-kissing rule speaks to a greater attitude of wanting emotionless, disconnected sex. Love the intimacy of a beautiful kiss (especially between two sensual ladies, mmmmmm)

Namaste

[Niknmik 161]

We're Christian Universalists so we see life as a forest and religion and spirituality as just differing paths through that forest to the end destination. I respect atheists and their point of view-- I'm personally convinced that God is real and my own feeling is that we are all connected via God's spark in all of us.

 

I don't feel like sex and bodily pleasure is sinful.. just like enjoying a good meal isn't gluttony, asking for a raise at work isn't avarice, etc. To me the big difference is in the intention and execution. If everyone is on board and excited, there's zero moral or ethical dilemma with having sex. Using your body to connect to another person is not inherently bad. We live in a hard world, the pleasure we can get from our bodies is a softness that's a beautiful gift.

[Mbgdallas 203]

I am a born again conservative Christian. I don't see anything in the bible that creates swinging in a negative light as long as both people are in the lifestyle together. It is cheating that is bad. The bible allows couples to decided what they think is right and act together. As long as they are doing it together they are doing it as one and they have become one in marriage.

 

As far as beliefs go my belief is the only right belief. That is just the nature of a belief. You cannot have a belief and have doubts that your belief is wrong or that another belief that contradicts it is correct. What is so wonderful about religion and beliefs is that we all get to have our own beliefs. It is condemning others for beliefs that disagree with yours that is wrong. I fully respect that others can and should have beliefs different than mine. It is the open mindedness of discussing those beliefs and maybe changing your beliefs as you learn more and adapt that is good. Being closed minded and not listening is bad.

 

I fully respect others who have different beliefs. This is not a science where we have absolute facts. Religion is very interpretive and we need to be open to different interpretations and understand that not all interpretations are right for us but because we disagree does not make them wrong. An interpretation is unlike a belief. I can have an interpretation and doubt if it is correct. There can be more than one correct interpretation and I can accept both.

 

I hope this makes sense. In a nutshell it is all about us as individuals and how we interpret and come to a belief. None of us are wrong for ourselves but each or us is only right within ourselves.

 

Just my 2 cents and it is the debate and learning that is critical.

[intuition897 2,179]

I am a Yogini, and my Yoga is my spiritual foundation. In Yoga (we are talking about the 5000 year old practice, not a yoga flavored exercise class at the gym), it is said that we are all just threads in a greater fabric. It's about connection with others, recognizing that none of us are really separate.

And so the LS can be a beautiful extension of that, making connections with others on all kinds of wonderful levels. I am very mindful to only play with others who seem to have the values of honesty, respect for their partner and open communication as I do, and will not play with someone who is cheating on a partner (or otherwise engaging in deceitful or cruel behavior). This is also the reason I choose to only play with those who kiss- often a no-kissing rule speaks to a greater attitude of wanting emotionless, disconnected sex. Love the intimacy of a beautiful kiss (especially between two sensual ladies, mmmmmm)

Namaste

 

I just posted a reply to another thread about intimacy and put forth a similar sentiment. Totally agree.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

It doesn't matter what you believe in as long as that belief makes you a better person...and you don't try to force your belief down on me as being 'more right' than my belief. You can worship caterpillars or 'use the force' as long as you are a nicer, better person because of it. I'm not going to try and convince you otherwise.

 

As long as the two of you are doing this together, just like religion, my beliefs as to if what you are doing is 'right' or 'wrong' shouldn't make any difference (however in this case, I'm on your side of this argument). The Bible says not to judge others (that is if you believe in the Bible...up to you). With so many awful, evil, hateful people in the world, anything that makes someone a nicer, better person is a good thing...regardless of who your God is (or isn't).

[luv2was 117]

I was born (1958) & raised in a Unitarian Church (now Unitarian Universalist, or "UU") in the south. I was away from it most of my adult life, and in the past 5 years or so have tried to reconnect to that. "UU" is not to be confused with "Unity", which is something entirely different.

 

In the 80's I studied Yoga pretty intensely for several years. (Yes, not the casual gym style classes.) Had some serious teachers, read a lot of books, meditated, etc. I still carry that experience with me in many ways today. Swimming is my main "meditation" now, and is a lot like Yoga in many ways.

 

Being a "UU" makes it pretty easy to reconcile a lifestyle like swinging. UU's are a very open-minded and liberal bunch, for the most part. At least the parent organization (uua.org) fits that description, for sure. UU's very openly support and offer a religious home to the LGBTQ community, so "Polyamory" or "ethical non-monogamy" are not much of a leap for them (compared to most "religions"). As a UU, you are free to pretty much believe whatever you want, and do whatever you want, as long as you are not hurting anyone.

 

My view of "God" is more of an interconnection between all beings and things. A sort of Universal Life Force if you will. (So yeah, "May the Force be with you.") :"> That what we do, positive or negative, affects everything around you, and beyond. (Call it "Karma", whatever.) Being a lowly human though, I frequently "slip" (in attitude anyway). But I generally do a decent job of "basically not being an asshole".

 

"My Karma ran over my Dogma"

 

To bring up a movie reference... "I belong to the Church of Baseball." Bonus points if you can identify the source without looking it up.

[econobiker 165]

I know that the religion topic doesn't often arise among swingers but I've seen various groups in other adult oriented social networking websites related to "religion and swingers" or "religion and bdsm" or "Christian swingers" etc.

 

Maybe it's worse to emotionally covet your neighbor's wife versus just getting permission from your neighbor to physically fuck his wife...

 

...though it is exponentially worse to give the neighbor's wife a foot massage without his permission.

 

(Of course, some of the wording of that commandment is probably from the days when women were considered to be the property of the husband so the permission idea could be a moot point.)

 

Regards,

econobiker:

Guilty of attending the earliest Sunday morning church service while still hammered after being up all night at a drinking party on an Atlantic ocean beach. Summertime, drunk, sun rising, Sunday morning---> church. (It was a short 45 min Catholic service- totally couldn't have made it through a Protestant service plus Sunday school!)

 

Am I going to "hell" for doing that?

 

Don't know, however, the bed spins and room spins I felt later that same day made me feel like I was already there.

[GoNatural 104]

Neo-pagan is probably the simplest answer. My wife is UU.

 

It's encouraging to see a Pagan represented. I know that in TX a large segment of the swing crowd is Christian, even if non-practicing. Most of the Pagans I know that are open gravitate towards polyamory. Although, at the one Samhain that I went to a group that I was introduced to spoke about hall passes. I wasn't told they were in the lifestyle, but....I caught the vibe. I thought the 20 somethin' daughter of the head guy of that social group was waiting for me to ask her to go walk in the woods, but I was reluctant to ask. It was very titillating, for sure.

 

I have swung with couple that had a bible on the night stand as we enjoyed double vaginal putting two cocks in her.

Having been Christian in my past, and a cowboy, I knew exactly how to get along with them. I had to move for work and regret not hooking up with her a lot more. After that first threesome to vet me, their agreement was that she could play alone with me after a casual lunch.

 

Anyway, it'll depend on your state and region as to how common it will be for other swingers to value a spiritual belief, and what type. Christianity will be more common than people would first suspect because it is most common in suburbs and small towns, where there is more swingers. Very urban people sometimes swing, but are more likely to be poly or "just open".