Subjects in swinger profiles that instantly turn you off?

[cplnuswing 4,712]

What subjects do you see mentioned in profiles that instantly turn you off? Not necessarily sex acts, but could be that too of course, but anything else that people can be passionate about and others just as passionate about finding the whole subject boring or a turn-off.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

The first one that comes to mind is the occasional person that decides that it is important that we know what their politics are.

 

Don't care. Don't want to know. It can't make you more attractive to us, and it certainly can make you less attractive, depending on your zeal.

[Guest FunintheSnow]

This isn't really a topic, but more an approach: people who state baldly and rudely what they are not into. I imagine their vehemence comes from bad experiences, but really, do you have to say, "NO SQUIRTERS!!!!" or could you say, "We're not comfortable with squirting" or something? Even if the stuff the couple is into or not into lines up with us and our interests, the rudeness and negativity are a major turn-off.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Vanity is a turn off...great, so you are the hottest looking, greatest lover in the world. Most people think that they are not bad looking or a bad lover. Also, at least on SLS, if you are mailing in your profile (no or almost no info) or all of your 'interest levels' (Watch, Soft, Full and Female, Couple, Male) are maxed out then we rapidly loose interest (either you just maxed everything out because that was the easy thing to do or you are looking for ANYBODY to play with). We are also not into drugs, even 420...sorry, it's not legal yet and we work somewhere where it isn't allowed and don't want any chance that we might have a problem with it.

 

...oh, and dick pics

[cplnuswing 4,712]

Agree with everything above. Politics and religion...I was taught that both were things you didn't expound on in polite company. Along with and related to, is stridency about anything, including what you do or don't like. One mention in an normal tone, got it, that's all I need, anything beyond that on a swinger profile tells me you take that subject way too seriously.

 

Dick pics don't actually bother us much...within reason. A few pics of your pride and joy, ok, great, she doesn't mind checking out the potential goods. 50 closeup pics just to made sure you had at least one to get his good side to fully convey all his breathtaking glory, meh.

[njbm 2,861]

I don't like people who base their selection on measurements: cock must be over 7 inches, the man must be over 5'10" etc. Some of our favorite partners are people we never would have picked based on their pictures. In person, they have personalities that are sexy and desireable.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

I am generally turned off by moaning and groaning about little problems. I don't need people's hard life stories.

[enhancer 1,581]

Big turn off for us is profiles talking about how attractive, fit and professional they are! There is something to be said for being just a little bit humble in this lifestyle. Confidence is great. Arrogance not so much.

 

Also profiles that are clearly just looking for the elusive unicorn bi woman, but have one line about maybe considering the right couple. That doesn't make them sound like an overly promising couple to us as a man and a woman who both are looking for something out of the lifestyle.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

I don't like people who base their selection on measurements: cock must be over 7 inches, the man must be over 5'10" etc.

 

Overlooked this one. Really, if the people are great people and you all get along wonderfully, but one of them doesn't meet some stupid number, you're not interested. D'oh.

 

This also reminds us about the 'Ken and Barbie' statement. Neither Ken nor barbie have ANY genitals (we've checked) and are made out of hard plastic so they couldn't play if they wanted to...

[enhancer 1,581]

Another one we are sure to stay clear of is the I just don't know profiles! If they have on their profile they are just not sure what they are looking for we are not going to be the ones to tell them what they are looking for. You can always expect a whole lot of talking from these profiles and never actually meeting.

[intuition897 2,179]

• Empty description boxes on profiles.
  
• Long, specific lists of demands that read like they paid a lawyer to draft it.
  
• Shitty grammar. Sorry, it's a pet peeve and I WILL judge you for your improper use of words like than/then, lose/loose, pique/peek/peak (It piqued my interest when I caught a sneak-peek of my hubby reaching his peak as his playmate sucked his cock.), and of course, there/their/they're.
  
• Using "cum" instead of "come". As in, "Hope you can "CUM" to our party!" wink wink wink. It's not clever.
  
• Angry-sounding profiles written by people who have turned finding playmates into a job. You get back whatever energy you put out there.
  

 

There's more, but I'm typing this on my phone and it's really, really hard to get wordy without succumbing to the grammatical errors I so desperately dislike.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

People that go on and on about serving their master.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

People that go on and on about serving their master.

 

I see what you did there.

[Curiouscouple61 64]

I think the major ones we've seen that are an instant "nope" are profiles that are unnecessarily hostile. Ones that are going out of their way to be like, "If you aren't this or can't do that, DON'T BOTHER WASTING OUR TIME!" kind of stuff. Yeah I get it, you have a specific criteria, but there's no need to be so broadly confrontational. We kind of want to meet people that are laid back and feel relaxed, not people who we feel are going to blow up on us at the slightest annoyance or difference.

 

Also ones that are super judgmental\superficial. Things with lines like, "No fatties." or "No old geezers" or something like that. Yeah, we get it, you have a type and a preference. That's fine, but why do you need to humiliate or belittle others in doing so? Strike!

 

On that note, the other instant turn off is any profile that has pics of the guy flexing his muscles in a mirror or in front of a camera. No, no, no, no. Not a turn on. You are vein, cocky, over-confident and narcissistic and not interesting. A respectable level of confidence is sexy, narcissism is a huge turn off.

 

Also, that thug bullcrap. The backwards baseball cap and the baggy tee shirt and throwing up the signs with your hands? Has that EVER attracted anyone to your profile? Not me. Moving on.

 

Also at least try to put up a nice pic. I'm not saying a professional photo shoot but c'mon, don't put something up too blurry, put on something nice unless you are going for a nude, or something presentable. You don't have to do your Sunday best, but the sweatpants and the shirt with holes in them isn't even trying. And for goodness sake, please, please, PLEASE clean up the room a little bit. It's just absolutely disgusting to see a selfie or whatever and the room is just TRASHED with junk covering the floor, messed up bed, old dishes sitting around everywhere. I can deal with a crumpled shirt on the floor, but there are people who sometimes have pics where the room looks like the Tazmanian Devil just tore through it. Messiness is not sexy.

[MarniJohn 172]

[*]Using "cum" instead of "come". As in, "Hope you can "CUM" to our party!" wink wink wink. It's not clever.

 

Yes!!! That makes me crazy!!! I hate when people write that as well; it's awful!

I have seen profiles where people carry on endlessly about others contacting them when they don't meet their very specific criteria. They rant about not wanting to meet people who do not look like their pictures. (I agree, people should only have current photos but that's besides the point.)

I also laugh every time someone indicates that intelligence is "very important" to them yet I see countless spelling errors on their profile.

[AngelandTiger 364]

"We're very picky because we can be."

 

Nope.

 

T

[Guest FunintheSnow]

AngelandTiger, amen! As if the rest of us are just taking whatever dregs we can get because we're all Quasimodos. :-)

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

"We're very picky because we can be."

 

...and so are we and we don't pick you!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,023]

"We love Nickelback music."

[njbm 2,861]

It is funny. Some people think they are vetting us, but we are vetting them.

[econobiker 165]

AngelandTiger, amen! As if the rest of us are just taking whatever dregs we can get because we're all Quasimodos. :-)

 

I wonder what the outcome would be to apply some reverse physcology was applied to a profile:

 

"If you're model good looking and have modeled professionally, if everyone tells you that you are extremely beautiful/handsome, if you are extremely height and weight proportional, if you are God's gift to swinging because you are so beautiful/handsome then...

We don't want you."

 

I wonder how those type of folks would react if confronted with a similarly written profile that rejected them for being ugly, fat, below standards, etc. Or do all of these beautiful people just stay together...

[Scaredstiff 129]

I just found one I hadn't seen before..

"Female is bi-selfish" I hadn't even heard of the term before ( it's OK, I'm new ) So I had to ask.

You guys probably know but she replied saying that "I'm quite happy to have a woman kiss me and go down on me but I won't be returning the favour"

Well thanks for that info lady! Good luck with that! Lol

[cplnuswing 4,712]

Don't recall seeing that one before either. Sort of the opposite of bi-furious then it sounds like.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Bi-furious? I'm gonna use that (with your permission of course) in my reply lol its genius

" I'm sorry but you being bi-selfish has made us bi-furious"

 

I'm never going to hear from them again am I?

Shame.... nice tits

[intuition897 2,179]

I think bi-furious refers to a woman who is all about the pussy, and is SERIOUSLY into girl-girl play. Like, it's mandatory. The main course. We have run into that, and while I'm not opposed to playing with women, I've discovered that...you know, I just really like men? It was a deal-breaker with that couple.

 

Oh, something else that turns me off: when their profile reads like a resume of all the sexual feats they're capable of, all the things they plan to do to their playmates, what kind of responses they like t elicit from their playmates, etc. Generally bragging about their sexual prowess. What the fuck is this, a circus? I mean, good for you, but shit, I can't live up to that. I just want to have some fun. Now I have to worry about doing a somersault through a flaming hoop and landing pussy-first on your erect, elephant-sized cock? No thanks.

[cplnuswing 4,712]

Yeah, the bi-furious we have encountered is the "I WILL lick your pussy, I won't be denied!" versus in this case the "I want my pussy licked but NO WAY NO HOW will I return the pleasure". Both are turn-offs to us...really anything aggressive and selfish sounding is a turn-off to us actually.

 

Oh, something else that turns me off: when their profile reads like a resume of all the sexual feats they're capable of, all the things they plan to do to their playmates, what kind of responses they like to elicit from their playmates, etc. Generally bragging about their sexual prowess. What the fuck is this, a circus? I mean, good for you, but shit, I can't live up to that. I just want to have some fun. Now I have to worry about doing a somersault through a flaming hoop and landing pussy-first on your erect, elephant-sized cock? No thanks.

 

Exactly! We've said no to couples we otherwise would have wanted to meet because of this. It's Mrs cplnuswing's number one thing; like you say, her philosophy is she just wants to have some fun and if she feels like there's a checklist or scorecard involved, then she'll pass, because that's just not fun.

[Bob250 74]

"We love Nickelback music."

This is just wrong on so many levels.

[Bob250 74]

I have relatively few pet peeves. I don't like to touch other men or their cum. I prefer not to discus politics or religion. I don't appreciate people who complain about my appearance. I have a big dick and I'm fairly hairy....get used to it or go someplace else. But I'm usually fairly polite in my refusal. Other than that, I'm good to go

[Bob250 74]

This isn't really a topic, but more an approach: people who state baldly and rudely what they are not into. I imagine their vehemence comes from bad experiences, but really, do you have to say, "NO SQUIRTERS!!!!" or could you say, "We're not comfortable with squirting" or something? Even if the stuff the couple is into or not into lines up with us and our interests, the rudeness and negativity are a major turn-off.

I disagree. I think it is important to get everybody's likes and dislikes out of the way , beforehand. I do agree , however, that it can be done in a polite and courteous manner.

[njbm 2,861]

I do not like ultra close up pictures of a woman's nipple. I know they have a nipple, why do I need to see a microscopic picture of it? I guess that goes for all erotic body parts. Not so sexy under a macro lens.

 

I don't like the cutesy use of cum in a profile. Let's see what "cums" of it. Too overt. Maybe I'm a curmudgeon.

[econobiker 165]

I just found one I hadn't seen before..

"Female is bi-selfish" I hadn't even heard of the term before ( it's OK, I'm new ) So I had to ask.

You guys probably know but she replied saying that "I'm quite happy to have a woman kiss me and go down on me but I won't be returning the favour"

Well thanks for that info lady! Good luck with that! Lol

 

That type of woman is also called a "pillow princess" within the lesbian arena, content to passively lay back on her pillow while the other woman does all the activities to her.

[njbm 2,861]

I don't get someone calling themselves a pillow princess. We expect partners to give as much as they receive and we have rarely been disappointed in that regard. If we run into a pillow princess, I doubt that there will be a round 2.

[Guest]

Dick size and photos. Also, age limitations especially when their age is at or near that of their limitations, in the words they want to play with younger people but not people their own age. I think that is an very unbelievable attitude problem.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Dick size and photos. Also, age limitations especially when their age is at or near that of their limitations, in the words they want to play with younger people but not people their own age. I think that is an very unbelievable attitude problem.

The very limited age range thing gets on my nerves a little bit, too. I have also seen profiles list an age range that is younger than the ages of the couple! But actually it is helpful to see that up front- it makes it easy to see that they're not for us anyway.

[njbm 2,861]

We tell the truth about our "advanced" age on SLS and we've received some rude comments back that we are too old. We will not let others' youth and inexperience keep us from playing a little younger. But we want people in our age range. Does anyone on SLS tell their true age? We've met people who say they are younger than us and they have to be ten years older.

[PeterJ 927]

We tell the truth about our "advanced" age on SLS and we've received some rude comments back that we are too old. We will not let others' youth and inexperience keep us from playing a little younger. But we want people in our age range. Does anyone on SLS tell their true age? We've met people who say they are younger than us and they have to be ten years older.

 

I have a vanilla male friend who tells me every woman he's ever met through Match, Fish in the Sea, or other vanilla dating sites has subtracted five years from her age. (I suspect men do the same.) My friend now just automatically adds five years to the stated age on any profile.

 

I suspect there's a similar phenomenon with lifestyle sites as well. Or perhaps not, given that swingers are generally looking for sex partners, with no expectations about potentially building a life together.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I have a vanilla male friend who tells me every woman he's ever met through Match, Fish in the Sea, or other vanilla dating sites has subtracted five years from her age. (I suspect men do the same.) My friend now just automatically adds five years to the stated age on any profile.

 

I suspect there's a similar phenomenon with lifestyle sites as well. Or perhaps not, given that swingers are generally looking for sex partners, with no expectations about potentially building a life together.

 

Probably so. SLS adds a layer of difficulty also because the last time I checked they don't automotically update your age upon your birthday. We once checked and I think we were two years behind.

[shy_couple 458]

I just found one I hadn't seen before..

"Female is bi-selfish" I hadn't even heard of the term before ( it's OK, I'm new ) So I had to ask.

You guys probably know but she replied saying that "I'm quite happy to have a woman kiss me and go down on me but I won't be returning the favour"

Well thanks for that info lady! Good luck with that! Lol

 

I always heard them called "pillow princess"

[intuition897 2,179]

That was something else that confused us, too: weird age range requirements. Like, must be between 34 and 47. Really? You couldn't say looking between mid 30's to mid 40's?

 

Mr. intuition and I played with another couple a while ago, and they were a little older than us. We had a great time! Mr. intuition was quite taken with his playmate, and they really hit it off, which was great. Afterward, he was saying that, while he was playing with her, he imagined some young schmuck had had his nose in the air, deciding that this beautiful, vibrant, sexy woman was "too old", and that while he was getting to enjoy her lavish attentions, young Mr. Studmuffin's only company for the night was a bottle of lotion and a box of kleenex. Too bad for him.

[njbm 2,861]

We've played with people who we would not have played with if we just saw their profile pictures. In person, great partners. Too many Swingers dismiss people for superficial reasons without giving them a chance in person.

[Scaredstiff 129]

We are guilty of that, we try and gather as much information from the pictures and profile as we can and then we subconsciously have a very detailed idea of what this couple is like, hasn't worked out for us so far lol, definitely changing our thinking on this one and another reason we are leaning towards a club environment where we can talk to people we may have waved away online because their house wasn't tidy or some similar misdemeanor

[Guest]

Probably so. SLS adds a layer of difficulty also because the last time I checked they don't automotically update your age upon your birthday. We once checked and I think we were two years behind.

 

We took care of that; we posted an age that gives us a couple of years for catch-up time. You’re looking at photos, we’re sharing out thoughts, if some number is more important, as the song says, just walk on by......

[intuition897 2,179]

One of the sites we use has a "canned email" option. I hate it when people use that! So, at the very top of our profile, in bold, we state that we won't be responding to canned reply emails, because zero effort on your part = zero interest from us. I also stated that it's probably the fastest way for us to determine who has or has not read our profile. That's important to us; our time is valuable, and we prefer to hang out with people with whom we have things in common. It's more enjoyable. This isn't just about putting dicks in holes for us; it's a social thing.

 

Anyway, you wouldn't believe how many people send us canned emails anyway! I lied: I have responded to them, to tell them to please go back and read the first line of our profile [end of transmission]. One of them did write back again after that, saying, "Oh sorry! It's just a good way to break the ice. (not) We'd love to get naked with you both." What part of "no interest" did he not understand?

[Jare1998 62]

• Empty description boxes on profiles.
  
• Long, specific lists of demands that read like they paid a lawyer to draft it.
  
• Shitty grammar. Sorry, it's a pet peeve and I WILL judge you for your improper use of words like than/then, lose/loose, pique/peek/peak (It piqued my interest when I caught a sneak-peek of my hubby reaching his peak as his playmate sucked his cock.), and of course, there/their/they're.
  
• Using "cum" instead of "come". As in, "Hope you can "CUM" to our party!" wink wink wink. It's not clever.
  
• Angry-sounding profiles written by people who have turned finding playmates into a job. You get back whatever energy you put out there.
  

 

There's more, but I'm typing this on my phone and it's really, really hard to get wordy without succumbing to the grammatical errors I so desperately dislike.

 

Yes, grammatical errors are a big turn off for us! If your profile looks like a 1st grader could have written it, then we are not interested. Another pet peeve, the infamous HWP requirement. Get over yourself. Everyone is so happy for your efforts in the gym. Most of us have not so perfect bodies- baby bellies, cellulite, thighs that jiggle a bit. I take pride in my appearance, but I am not HWP. My personality, I believe, can overcome any body issue I have. I would rather play with someone whose personality outshines any imperfections over someone who is stuck on their appearance any day.

[GoldCoCouple 4,063]

Any sentence that has the word 'Trump' in it in any way. For or against, politics don't have any room in the conversation for us (at least right now).

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

Any sentence that has the word 'Trump' in it in any way. For or against, politics don't have any room in the conversation for us (at least right now).

 

I was gonna say when people start talking about work. I hate that, even if you have an interesting job. Not here to talk about work, want to get away from that. Your answer trumps mine though.