First Swinger party went wrong?

[Tainton 15]

Hey,

 

So we are married since 5 years and gotten to a point where we both agreed to spice up our sexlife. At the time we were watching some TV show with frequent orgies in it and got inspired by that. So in our minds, a swinger party is the guy going with another woman, and the woman going with another guy or two.

 

However, when we arrived at our first swinger party there were no other women there. We were told that more women will show up and just go with the flow for now (no more women showed up the entire night). So what basically happened is that my wife got a gangbanged by 6 dudes...

 

So apologies already for my potentially stupid question, but is this normally how it goes? It seems that I got very little out of the evening while she had the time of her life

[kikonkrome 845]

Yeah women get a lot of attention that is just the way it goes. There are fewer women in this life style than men.

 

We probably would have left or hung for a bit and then left if it was the sausage fest you describe.

 

Try a sex club they will keep the ratio as even as possible.

[funcoupledayton 2,710]

I think that's pretty uncommon. If you are going to a club or a party I would talk with the organizers ahead of time to find out who usually attends and what it's like. How did you get invited to that event?

 

I would recommend going to a swingers club that is couples focused.

 

Also, keep in mind, it is not rude to leave if what you encounter is not up to your expectations or your liking.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,027]

I am a natural-born sceptic. I speculate that the person who hosted this "party" was either exceptionally inept or perpetrated an intentional deception.

 

Enough of my speculation. The indisputable fact is that what you experienced is not normal for a swing party.

[seattle255 18]

I'm baffled as to why you would stay at that "party." If you walk into something like that, the appropriate response is to immediately turn around and leave.

[Lionheart72 2,192]

There are lots of types of swingers parties. What's important is that you participate in the kind of party you enjoy... and it sounds like you didn't.

 

I would suggest that you and your wife talk... calmly and without accusations or anger... about happened and clarify what does and doesn't work for you. If you are only interested in couple-swaps, that's ok. You do need to make sure your wife understands that... and it sounds like she didn't.

[WhyNot? 18]

Even at clubs she can get a lot of unplanned attention. Learn to say no, and if she can't youcan. Be glad she had fun don't judge but have a plan and stick to it. Make a code word in case either of you gets uncomfortable use it to stop the situation.

J&C

[EastInWest 1,527]

We were told that more women will show up and just go with the flow for now (no more women showed up the entire night).

 

I think the guy who hosted this party used to be our contractor.

[GoldCoCouple 4,072]

Is it natural for women to get more attention than men: yes. Is it usual for a party to be all guys and almost no women: HELL no. We would have left as well as soon as we saw it was mostly guys. We don't stay anywhere where there are more guys than girls...we are looking for COUPLES (or unicorns). A party like this sounds like deception was involved and one that we would never attend again.

[enhancer 1,588]

No this is not a usual swinger party! This was a sausage fest. Did you happen to learn about it on Craigslist? Sure the guy hosting it probably did invite other couples hoping at least one or more women would show up, but most people avoid situations like this. He also probably knew when you got there that there would not be other women coming and lied to you hoping you would stay.

 

I would suggest in the future to just attend parties that cater to just couples and unicorns, because anytime the doors are open to anyone the single males are going to far out number everyone else.

 

I also suggest that you and your wife talk about what is and isn't cool for both of you as far as the lifestyle goes! You both are allowed to have your own rules and should respect what each other is comfortable with. Just, because your wife was the only one there doesn't mean she has to be the one to do everyone if that is not something that works for you or gives you any enjoyment. We would have left the minute we saw there were no other women and wouldn't have felt like any explanation was needed.

[padoc 1,704]

I agree with Seattle. Why the hell would you stay in a situation like that? No matter what else or what flow someone told you to go with, your 1st priority is to take care of your wife. Mrs Doc and I would have been out the door faster than you can say gangbang!

[asncpl 731]

Most organizers I know are quite good at getting a decent male-female ratio, unless the party is being advertised as a gangbang in which only a few women may show up. I agree with the other posters that you should have a conversation with your wife as to what your expectations. I get it that you didn't have much fun, but I have also seen couples where the male half just wants to see his wife gets it from many guys and that's enough for him. So to each his own.

[ROANJO 39]

Once we went through a similar situation, went to a club and suddenly a very heavy rain poured, other couples did not appear and there we were, the only couple at the premises, and to make a long story short, we had 6 guys - me included - and my wife the only woman there. I would not dare to say she did not enjoy the attention, we were really exhausted after all that sexual action encircling her, but don´t know if this could be a repeat business.....