Curious about unicorns

[MarniJohn 172]

We were at a party this past weekend and the subject of unicorns was brought up. Even though all the couples have been in the lifestyle for years, they can not figure out why unicorns choose the lifestyle. Anyone have any answers?

 

One of the men said because she loves sex. Others seemed to feel a woman can get sex anytime she wants. Choosing to get invovled with couples is something different.

 

Someone else suggested she is bi and wants to play with both, but again, that didn't seem like the logical reason.

 

Anyone?

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Why should be the question, where should be (as in where do I find one).

[kikonkrome 844]

They want to try something different. That's the feedback I have gotten. They don't really want to date, for a number of reasons. The idea of all guys turns them off and they want to get their kink on.

 

My experience has never been more than one encounter, for a number of reasons. So I would also say that it is skewed. However I have asked and that has always been the response...Ok fine I have only asked two, still that's all I got...

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

My experience leads me to a belief similar to KinkiKrome's. One particular woman who lives in the D.C. area had told me, in fact, then when she has sex with a guy while out on a date, the guy is very likely to start feeling "entitled" to certain exclusive privileges. Swinger men she is better able to hold at an arm's length.

[MarniJohn 172]

My friend mentioned that the club she frequents has a few unicorns. One is always alone and flirts alot. She has been known to show up with the male part of a couple from time to time (although usually different men) but there is one that she seems to have very strong feelings for). Seems a little dangerous, no?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We've had a unicorn girlfriend for several years. She is bi and likes threesomes. She is very independent and not interested in having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. She seems to really like the naughtiness of dating us in public.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I'm a guy, so what I'm going to say here is based on second-hand information, rather than my own experience.

 

I think it's a combination of factors. Some women like exploring their bi side, and the lifestyle seems like a great place to do that. Mainly, though, I think it's the ability to enjoy sex and friendship with a variety of people, without the emotional attachment, that is the attraction for many. Now, I do know one or two unicorns who are actively searching for a romantic relationship along with the fun, and I think they're casting their line in the wrong pond!

[GeminiGirl68 23]

Well said CoupleInMD79; while I agree on most of what you said, here's a bit of disagreement....or rather my tiny opinion:kissface:

A bit of romance, not necessarily romantic feelings is (at least) this unicorns' wish. While flat out I-want-f*^#ed-but-good is fantastic.....like a totally innocently planned date suddenly finding yourselves so hot you go behind the nearest outbuilding to screw like randy teenagers *grin*.....so is someone who wants to make the date special (hotel with in room jacuzzi as well as dinner at an awesome new pub). As opposed to finding yourself at a meet & greet with the sole intention of getting the cheapest room you can find so that you have a semi soft surface to do the deed.

 

That said, I started out as part of a new V (fmf with no bi play among the females) & now am operating as a single woman.

The "why" for me involves safety. Most of the dating world isn't concerned enough to go for routine peace of mind testing. I am extremely sensitive to latex or pretty much any effective condom, so absolute safe play is a must for me! Not to mention, no one in the swing world cares "how many men HAVE you slept with"*insert horrified look from judgers*. I/we can say a resounding HELL NO to anything we're uncomfortable with, with absolutely no impunity.

 

I'm sure I could come up with more reasons "why" in due time, but I will finalize this with "well why NOT"?!?!!

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Of course, GeminiGirl68, I agree with what you say about wanting to feel special and desired, and also about the fact that many people want and need to have a friendship to go along with the "benefits". And in some cases, people can become very good friends, and share a closeness that goes beyond just sexual attraction. After all, who wouldn't want to make a night special for a good friend, especially if you find them smokin hot and sexy?

 

I think the distinguishing factor (for swinging women versus serially-monogamous dating women) is the nature of the feelings- close friendship and sexual heat is great, but I think unicorns (and swingers generally) have the ability to stop short of developing feelings of romantic love for their partners.

[BiCaliGirl777 48]

As a single bi woman, why not? I like men. I like women. A couple that finds me attractive? Win Win.

[GeminiGirl68 23]

Of course, GeminiGirl68, I agree with what you say about wanting to feel special and desired, and also about the fact that many people want and need to have a friendship to go along with the "benefits". And in some cases, people can become very good friends, and share a closeness that goes beyond just sexual attraction. After all, who wouldn't want to make a night special for a good friend, especially if you find them smokin hot and sexy?

 

I think the distinguishing factor (for swinging women versus serially-monogamous dating women) is the nature of the feelings- close friendship and sexual heat is great, but I think unicorns (and swingers generally) have the ability to stop short of developing feelings of romantic love for their partners.

 

So true!

[Erik13 157]

Unicorn? I’ve found it to be inaccurate since every swingers party I’ve gone to has had at least 4-5 single women. I choose to be a single woman swinger because yes, I love sex, but I’m into threesomes, orgies, bi-sex, bi-orgies, and multiple men (hate the gangbang word) and in the vanilla sex world it’s hard and tedious to arrange all of the above. I belong to a safe, discrete network of sane upscale swingers whom I feel very comfortsble with. In swinging I can cut out the long mind-games-body-language type nonsense and have great sex with great people when I walk through the door. I’m a pre-med college student with a very high sex drive and I don’t have time now for the pickup or courtship nonsense. Swinging gives me all the sex I need.

 

would you play with a couple where the female half is straight? we have had a few chats going and when they find out my wife is straight they lose interest.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

It's called a cuckquean (opposed to cuckold) where the woman has to watch her guy have sex with another woman. Saudi Girl...wow!

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Cuckquean (with the a not and e and not a spelling error). FYI, Saudi Girl, you are known as a golden unicorn being that you are bisexual.

[Erik13 157]

Cuckqueen? Interesting. Since I’m Bi I’d rather go with a couple with a bi-female. It’s really a tease to be in a threesome with a straight beautiful woman and I can’t kiss her lips, suck her nipples, or lick her vagina. I’ll probably have to discontinue this soon and stay clear of straight women in threesomes or foursomes.

 

you're not giving me much hope here...

[Guest]

I guess it totally depends....

 

Some women will want to explore their bisexual side without having to have a full on relationship with a women.

 

Some women will simply like sex and want more experience.

 

Some women will have been hurt in proper relationships so wants to avoid the clingy controlling aspect of a proper relationship.

 

Some women will have simply been talked into the idea by a friend, partner, or ex partner.

 

I think sometimes there could also be some underlying problems, that some of them perhaps have self esteem issues / was abused in the past / lack faith in their ability in a real relationship / have had abusive ex boyfriends who put them off dating / doubt their own ability to find a long last relationship.

 

In general however I do think women are better at processing both sex and friendship at the same time, with a lot of guys its either "We are friends" or "We are sex buddies" men seem to struggle when mixing both friendship and sex where I think women are better at that.