Setting her free

[M1F2KTJ 473]

I started to let them play alone without me watching. I left the bedroom and watched tv or played video games. Then I let her go to his place without me.

 

He began inviting his friends over to have sex with her.

 

I was angry at both of them at first when she confessed to me that he was inviting his friends over to have sex with her but I was turned on at the same time and they knew I would be turned on by it.

 

We had a sex party where in the end she had sex with all of the men in front of me submitting to doing everything they wanted to do while I watched.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

You seem somewhat torn by this situation. Where do you see it going from here?

[M1F2KTJ 473]

You seem somewhat torn by this situation. Where do you see it going from here?

 

It was supposed to be something special and intimate. I let her go to his place alone so they could relax and enjoy themselves without me around.

 

I let her go to his place alone because we had gotten to know each other. It was a kind of bond. I trusted him with her. I didn't know any of his friends.

 

Having a party at our house so I could meet his friends was a good idea but I didn't think it was going to be a gangbang.

 

I wasn't prepared for that but it was very erotic and I didn't object. We all had a great time and will probably do it again.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

How does the fact that they broke that bond that you mentioned affect you? Seems that going back to his place and inviting men over without your knowledge was a violation of that trust.

 

You've mentioned several times before that she fell in love with one man you two were with in the past. I am curious about how you continue to move forward with these fairly significant road bumps.

 

This feels more like a cuckhold situation and less like an open marriage/swinging separately thing, or am I misreading it?

[Lionheart72 2,191]

I hear you, M1F2KTJ. I don't know exactly how I'd feel in your shoes, but I expect I'd be similarly conflicted.

 

On the one hand, if my wife went out with a guy and came back with a story about a gangbang, I'd probably love it... because I'm generally pretty comfortable with the idea of her doing that - as long as she was honest with me about it. On the other hand, if it wasn't what we'd agreed on going in, I'd be pissed and that would be the end of playing with that guy... because if we don't stick to the rules, then the game is over.

 

Cuckolding is a kink and, if I may disagree with two4youinswva, I think it is a form a swinging separately though probably one with edges into the dominant/submissive dynamic. However as with any swinging or bdsm relationship, the key elements are honesty, trust, communication and respect. It's all well and good, within the confines of a scene, to let go of control and have your boundaries pushed but hard limits need to be respected.

[asncpl 730]

Cuckolding is a kink and, if I may disagree with two4youinswva, I think it is a form a swinging separately though probably one with edges into the dominant/submissive dynamic. However as with any swinging or bdsm relationship, the key elements are honesty, trust, communication and respect. It's all well and good, within the confines of a scene, to let go of control and have your boundaries pushed but hard limits need to be respected.

 

I'm not big on naming conventions but I see cuckolding as a subcategory of swinging separately. We have been doing a lot of cuckolding lately and we've had situations like the one M1F2KTJ described where the guy I'm with wanted to bring in his friends. The big difference is that I would let my husband know and make sure he's ok beforehand. I think in the OP's situation, there is still a certain level of trust there, albeit implicitly. Mr. A gives me a lot of leeway but we are not quite there when it comes to strangers that he has not met.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

How does the fact that they broke that bond that you mentioned affect you? Seems that going back to his place and inviting men over without your knowledge was a violation of that trust.

 

Yes it was a violation of trust. He assumed that if I was o.k. with sharing her with him that it would be o.k. with me and her if she had sex with his friends. I respected her for telling me. It wasn't that I would have objected more than it was done without consulting both of us. He surprised her the first time and seduced her into doing it and it was always consensual but she felt guilty about doing it without me knowing about it.

 

You've mentioned several times before that she fell in love with one man you two were with in the past. I am curious about how you continue to move forward with these fairly significant road bumps.

 

Having sexual experiences with other people as a married couple has been an exciting adventure. We both have experienced feelings, emotionally and, for her, physically, that we hadn't considered. It's our love and commitment to each other that keeps us together.

 

This feels more like a cuckhold situation and less like an open marriage/swinging separately thing, or am I misreading it?

 

There were men who thought I was and tried to treat me like one and when they did I felt like one but my wife never treated me like one. I don't mind them thinking I'm one. My wife gets a good fuck when they try to prove how superior they are to me. We're both happy when she gets a good fuck.

[kikonkrome 844]

I think it's pretty brave of you to talk about your attitude towards this. I mean how many men are on a bulletin board talking about it? Your it!!!

 

I also think it is a more common situation than people admit to or talk about. I have certainly seen it be more common than I would have expected.

 

It sounds like you are good with what is going on, but I must admit, I think you need to have a talk with your wife and her sex partners friends. What I have experienced has always involved the husband/SO.

[JandKinBoise 859]

From an outside view, there are red flags. But every relationship is different. I knew a couple that was very much like you guys. She had absolute freedom to do whatever, whom ever she wanted. She had emotional connections with several lovers but for this guy, that was the turn on. She always came home to him. If it works, great. Rules are nice but be aware that in the heat of the moment, they don't mean much.

[Mbgdallas 203]

I think it's pretty brave of you to talk about your attitude towards this. I mean how many men are on a bulletin board talking about it? Your it!!!

 

I also think it is a more common situation than people admit to or talk about. I have certainly seen it be more common than I would have expected.

 

It sounds like you are good with what is going on, but I must admit, I think you need to have a talk with your wife and her sex partners friends. What I have experienced has always involved the husband/SO.

 

Kikonkrome,

 

There are lots of people on discussion groups talking about this situation and some are even sharing pics and vids. You just have to go to the right sites to see it and read it. Some of it is real, some of it is obviously fantasy, some of it is healthy, and some of it is destroying the relationship.

 

It is interesting and very educational. Some of it is very hot. Some of it is very disturbing and sad. Some people can't see the train wreck coming. Others see and and looking to avoid it. Others are just so depraved they don't care about anyone but themselves and their kink and encourage people to go full speed into a relationship disaster.

 

M1F2KTJ. Just remember that this is about the two of you and your wants and desires. As long as you are both happy and love, respect, and communicate with each other you will come out on the positive side. It is still a team sport. Best of luck and just remember talk, talk and talk some more.

[Bob250 74]

Kikonkrome,

 

There are lots of people on discussion groups talking about this situation and some are even sharing pics and vids. You just have to go to the right sites to see it and read it. Some of it is real, some of it is obviously fantasy, some of it is healthy, and some of it is destroying the relationship.

 

It is interesting and very educational. Some of it is very hot. Some of it is very disturbing and sad. Some people can't see the train wreck coming. Others see and and looking to avoid it. Others are just so depraved they don't care about anyone but themselves and their kink and encourage people to go full speed into a relationship disaster.

 

M1F2KTJ. Just remember that this is about the two of you and your wants and desires. As long as you are both happy and love, respect, and communicate with each other you will come out on the positive side. It is still a team sport. Best of luck and just remember talk, talk and talk some more.

Right as rain. In any relationship car, trust is the key that starts and stops it. There is no surer way to cause problems than to breach the trust of your partner, or have your partner breach your trust.

Regardless of whther or not you found the act "hot", you still need to be able to trust your partner, and by extension, your partner's partners. If you can't, then unforeseen things will happen, almost all of them, bad. JMHO.

[Eddiem 139]

Setting her free is exactly why I wanted it and we did it.After so many years of the same old same sex it was time to explore. I prefer to watch her enjoy herself while coming out of her day to day personality. Nothing better for me to see her pleased especially when another male´s cock enters her and he cums.

[Aaron911 45]

I started to let them play alone without me watching. I left the bedroom and watched tv or played video games. Then I let her go to his place without me.

 

He began inviting his friends over to have sex with her.

 

I was angry at both of them at first when she confessed to me that he was inviting his friends over to have sex with her but I was turned on at the same time and they knew I would be turned on by it.

 

We had a sex party where in the end she had sex with all of the men in front of me submitting to doing everything they wanted to do while I watched.

 

I had a similar scenario where I let my wife hook up with a mutual friend of ours and he ended up being extremely hung which my wife fell in love with which ended up with them fucking on the side without me for about 8 months lol.

[Numex 2,459]

We started the other way around. When my wife told me about which of her sex partners were the best (I had asked), I said she could relive good times. She saw two of them alone (separately) for a while, then we did MFMs, now we mostly swap with trusted couples. There's still threesomes and alone play, however.

[EastInWest 1,524]

Not sure I have anything useful to contribute, but thanks for posting it, M1F2KTJ. As we're heading into a phase where we'll be experimenting with separate play out of necessity, it's good to hear from others about their challenges.

[adamgunn 1,461]

My wife and I started by swinging and moved into MFM, which was something we both really enjoyed. It worked very well for us.

 

At one point, I was unable to join her when a out of towner who she really enjoyed was in town. I said, "Sure, go have fun," and we found out we had no problems with that, either. So if the situation was right, there was never a problem with her stepping out.

 

BUT . . . I think if it was ever her preference to do that, rather than enjoy it as a one-off from swinging or threesomes, it would not have been pleasant for me. Thankfully, that never happened. Swinging should be enjoyed in the configurations that you are comfortable with.