People approach when I leave her alone

[slappyslap 22]

Hello. We have visited a couple of clubs and had some interesting experiences. No intercourse yet but we are making steady progress. One thing that I recognized is that nobody approaches us unless I step away to the bathroom, or to make a drink. At the last party several people approached my girl, but never while I was there. I would constantly come back from whatever I was doing to find a new single guy/couple chatting it up with my g/f. I'm not sure how I feel about that...

[JandKinBoise 859]

Welcome! Sounds like you are having fun.

 

Next time this happens, wait until you are comfortable with the person and ask them privately if there is something about you that makes people uncomfortable to approach. It may be as simple as body language. Are you hanging on your girlfriend, maybe appearing possessive?

 

Keep in touch!

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

 

A single girl at a club is honey to a bear...a potential unicorn, and always going to attract attention. Look at this from a different prospective: how many couples do the two of you approach? Don't wait for them to come to you, you need to also go to them. Anyways, glad to have you both here.

[slappyslap 22]

Yes, I assume it is the body language or something like that. Ever since high school people make comments about how I don't look very friendly but then after they get to know me they are surprised at how friendly and easy to talk to I am. Knowing this I dressed differently than I normally do when I go out. This time I dressed business casual (My girl sure liked it!).

 

Anyways, I am not really stressing about it. It was just a thought that I'm not sure how I feel about it.

[slappyslap 22]

 

A single girl at a club is honey to a bear...a potential unicorn, and always going to attract attention. Look at this from a different prospective: how many couples do the two of you approach? Don't wait for them to come to you, you need to also go to them. Anyways, glad to have you both here.

It is funny that you mention that. It was mildly annoying that whenever I was about to approach another couple I would turn around and now there was someone talking to my girl. As a result of this I felt obligated to engage in the conversation instead of wander off alone (which we had already agreed that we were not going to do, other than for drinks or the bathroom). I feel like she was a pretty popular lady.

[Alura 2,775]

You might find greater success if you and your girlfriend approach people together. After the initial conversation people are usually more open to getting to know others.

[slappyslap 22]

Oh absolutely. That has always been the plan.

 

Thanks for the replies everyone.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

The answer is probably all of the above since it probably happens different times for different reasons. I can see how that would feel aggravating or make you wonder what you are doing wrong, but since there are so many possible reasons, then I'd try not to worry about it much. If you know these people have seen you together and it should be obvious you are a couple, then if they are intentionally waiting until you move away, then they are foolish swingers since anyone with much experience knows the path to playtime goes through making good connection with both sides of the couple.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

They should talk to her in front of you. They might be intimidated by you. They might want to be sure that she is as into it as you are and feel she'll be more honest about it without you around.

[padoc 1,704]

WE never had a problem with another couple approaching Mrs Doc while I was getting drinks or in the mens room. We chalked it up to either coincidence or to perhaps the wife being more comfortable talking to Mrs Doc to break the ice a bit. Single guys (aka towel sharks) or worse yet wolf packs (2 or more guys working in concert) who approached her while I was off somewhere got run off immediately upon my return if they didn't take her obvious hints. We've even experienced situations when Mrs Doc was talking to a group of women and a single male would try to "cut her or one of the other women from the herd". This happens a lot in a vanilla bar but is unacceptable in a swinging situation. Understand, we have been going to clubs since 2003 and these things don't happen every time, actually, they don't happen often at all, but they DO happen. The OP has a right to be concerned about it because in some instances this behavior is somewhat predatory and is often disrespectful of both the husband and the relationship. Couples we give the benefit of the doubt...once...single guys who behave in the fashion described never get a second chance or a second look from Mrs Doc.

[njbm 2,906]

If I go to the men's room at a lifestyle event, it is a lock that a man will be hitting on my wife within 30 seconds. Modestly, I think it because she is pretty. We generally go to couples events, but sometimes the women are more interested in other women and the men are left to hunt for themselves. It is a little bit of a problem. My wife and I have good communication. I don't mind if she has more fun, but I like to play also.

[Guest]

Not at clubs but we go to bars and if hubby gets up to go to can or to make a cell phone call, inevitably, some guy is chatting with me when he returns so he had the same feeling. Once he returned, he would joint the conversation and all went well. But, what we came to realize is that almost as frequently, if I get up and go to the ladies room or whatever, when he returns a guy or gal is chatting with him. Our experience suggests simply that people are less comfortable approaching two people, they are more comfortable with one and having the second join in after their return.

[kikonkrome 844]

Same thing happens with my wife at a vanilla bar or swingers bar, both men and women. I just kinda embrace it. If it's single guys we move on or I ask him to. If it's a couple we try to engage them. Honestly it can be a bit of an ego killer, especially if you can't wander off to chat some people up yourself.

 

It definitely depends on the vibe of the people doing the talking, but sometimes they are fun and I embrace it.

[njbm 2,906]

Yes, I do enjoy that my wife is the subject of so much interest. I get to go home with her.

[two4youinswva 3,068]

Does it happen to us? Thankfully, yes it does. It's part of my honey pot operation. Lure 'em right in while I'm "away".

 

Actually as often as not, when I return from the restroom/drinks, etc. Mrs two4you has approached someone else and is involved in early conversation. Yeah, it sucks, but I'm not one to make a scene, so I join her and make the best of it [/sarcasm].