Made a big mistake... pregnancy.

[Cavemanbabe 20]

So as you can see in the title a huge mistake happened, there is a tiny possibility that the baby isn't my husband's and is the other couple's husband, very tiny. Me and my husband wanted to go into this blind and not know anything because the possibility is so small but the other couple has another opinion on how it should go. I am not telling my parents/friends/anyone that I'm having a baby by another man, that's not happening, and the complications of it all, what is your opinion on how you would go about this situation?

[Lionheart72 2,189]

Ooof.

 

You might want to look into the laws concerning parental rights in your area. There is the possibility that as the genetic parent of the child, the other Mr might have certain legal rights and responsibilities. If he chooses to pursue those you may want to be "well armed" so the speak.

[padoc 1,701]

Other than ego, I'd wonder why the other guy would want to know anything. When we first started in this hobby, both of us could still reproduce and a "mistake" like that was a HUGE concern. Then Mrs Doc got the factory removed and I had some plumbing work done and it ceased to be a worry. Besides raising an infant in our 40's, paying child support well into my 60's scared the crap out of me. Im not sure what the other guy is thinking and I wonder why you even told him but the cat is out of the bag now and you need some legal advice sooner rather than later. Good luck with the pregnancy but do see a family law lawyer this week.

[CostaRica 130]

If this happened to me and husband and I were to raise the baby together as his, I would never tell the other couple involved.

 

As you have though, and as he wants to get tested, have you spoken to him about whether he would agree to terminate his parental rights and have your husband legally adopt the baby? My guess is that he wants to know now so that he doesn't get screwed if you and your husband ever split up and hubby says the kid isn't his so he's not liable for child support (causing you to chase your play partner for support, and potentially leaving him owing years of back support too).

[Lionheart72 2,189]

Other than ego, I'd wonder why the other guy would want to know anything.

 

Biological imperative. Living things are hard-wired with the desire to perpetuate their genetic code. How that translates into human though varies widely, but given that the one expression of that imperative is the desire to have sex with many partners I suspect that a significant subset of swinging males feel this imperative strongly. Another expression of that imperative is a strong desire to protect and nurture offspring. Logically, there is reasonable likelihood that both expressions of that imperative would appear together in a number of swinging males - probably to a higher degree than in the general population of males.

[Alura 2,773]

The man who contributed sperm that resulted in me was not provided by the man to whom my mother was married. She confessed this to me on what she thought was her death bed. She was not sure she wanted to recover after telling me that, but recover she did. She showed me a picture that had been around my whole life of "J.O." and my "Dad" working in the oil fields right after a gusher came in. They got a $50 bonus. Dad got drunk and hit by a freight train which put him in a hospital for months. During that time, somehow, J.O.'s sperm found Mom's egg.

 

Dad raised me as his own and I never questioned his love.

 

from Oklahoma, Cavemanbabe! This decision can bring you and your husband closer. I hope y'all take advantage of the opportunity.

[Cavemanbabe 20]

Hi all, thanks for the advice. The reason that we told them right away is because we have become great friends with them and we never expected this kind of reaction from them. After taking a few days to cool down and process the whole situation they seem to be coming around to the idea that nobody needs to know. The chance that it is the other mr's and not my hubby's is so small that its almost impossible, though there is always the chance I suppose. I go for a dating scan in a few weeks and if that doesn't clear everything up for us then we will definitely take the steps that we need to cover all of our bases.

[kikonkrome 843]

Other than ego, I'd wonder why the other guy would want to know anything. When we first started in this hobby, both of us could still reproduce and a "mistake" like that was a HUGE concern. Then Mrs Doc got the factory removed and I had some plumbing work done and it ceased to be a worry. Besides raising an infant in our 40's, paying child support well into my 60's scared the crap out of me. Im not sure what the other guy is thinking and I wonder why you even told him but the cat is out of the bag now and you need some legal advice sooner rather than later. Good luck with the pregnancy but do see a family law lawyer this week.

 

I think I would want to know, for simple medical history. There are also well documented psychological issues of people that felt they never quite fit with the rest of the family. If it was my biological child I would want involvement, which always seems so surprising, but I never really understand why?

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

If the chance is that small, I wouldn't have mentioned it to them unless things later pointed more definitively that it could have been his. Water under the bridge, move on, and congratulations.

[NWAtlSwing 522]

If it helps, we are praying for a happy outcome, no matter what it is. The most important thing is a child raised in a happy home.

[Bob250 74]

This question is very much a part of my life as well. One of my playmates became pregnant with my child (proven). The couple decided to raise her as their own, and I legally signed over my rights as the biological father. In return, I no longer play with them and they are no longer in the LS, and I am now "uncle Bob" to my daughter.

[Sexykitty6364 38]

As an adoptee, let me just say that the lies you all are formulating to tell these children and your family/friends will come back to haunt you.

[GoldCoCouple 4,064]

Also as an adoptee, your parents are the ones who raised you regardless as to if the DNA matches. They had a choice and they chose you to raise. Never slight someone who selected to raise a child, it cheapens the sacrifices that they willingly made.