How do you feel about single men at a house party?

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

I will admit that this question derives from a conversation that I saw at a different social media Web site. But I believe that it is a worthwhile question, so here it is.

 

For any of you who attend private house parties as a couple, does the presence of a single man or single men at a house party make you uncomfortable? I have my own feeling about this but will keep them to myself for the present so this conversation can be open.

[njbm 2,871]

If the preannounced theme is gangbang or multiple men party, ok. Otherwise, it's ok if there are an equal number of single women. I just don't want a line of guys doing my wife while I have nothing (no one) to do.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Well, our house party experience is limited, so speaking mostly hypothetically here. I think it would all depend on the number involved, and then the behavior of those making up that number. Since we're mainly looking for couples, but wouldn't totally rule out a MFM threesome just because, then if there are some single guys there, then ok, as long as the relative proportion is right to keep it sort of an icing on the cake type of thing. The next thing then is those single guys need to be respectful and not just going around perving and making a nuisance of themselves. So, I guess the answer is it depends.

 

Like njbm said, if the theme of the party lends itself to single men, well then sure, that's to be expected.

[shy_couple 459]

We gave up on attending parties, clubs, and events that allow single males. Too many negative experiences. All with the same few themes.

[Guest]

It depends entirely oh how honestly it is announced. If announced as a couples party, it should be couples. If it is announced as couples plus a few, that is fine. We actually think the addition of a few extra males, perhaps half or so the number of couples, can be a good idea.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Our favorite house party is one that allows a fair number of single guys. Since the ladies can generally play more than us guys can, it doesn't seem all that "unbalanced", though the women are definitely busy! It helps that this is a crowd who mostly know each other well, so we're kinda mostly past the annoying stalker guy problems. The host, himself a single guy, tends to select attendees who are cool, friendly, and respectful people. I admit that things can sometimes be a little bit "competitive" for guys, but I am usually able to have plenty of fun.

[Formybubu 55]

I think it really depends on the house party. Is this a an established house party and your first time going?? Is it a new house party you are attending and don't know but one couple who invited you??? Was this a house party on a web site you are trying for the first time. Are you hosting the party with a group of usual friends from a club??? So many types of house parties so many ways to answer.

As for Us we don't mind 1 or 2 singles for every 4 or 5 couples. We don't want to be at a house party where the wife is the only one who is part of a couple with all men. Well maybe she does. But as long as the numbers are not more singles to couples and they understand they are to be real gentleman than not a issue.

[padoc 1,703]

To us, a house party is not the same as an on premises club. We no longer go to house parties where we don't know (or have a recommendation) the host couple. If we know the host couple, then generally we know some of their friends as well and don't have a problem at all with the stray extra male. The unihorns in large house parties tend to behave like a glutton at an all you can eat night at Golden Coral, which is the primary reason we no longer go to those types of parties or golden coral for that matter!

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . we no longer go to those types of parties or golden coral for that matter!

Too much sex will not make you fat.

 

Now, as promised, you will read my current feeling on this matter. For the house parties that my wife and I were hosting, we gladly left the sign-up list open. Then at about mid summer, the whole scheme backfired. One married guy who had signed up using his couples profile arrived not in the company of his wife -- "I didn't think you'd mind." Another not-quite-married guy checked his smart phone every five minutes (during those periods when he was not chasing my wife around the table) with the words "she said she'd meet me here" on his lips. A single guy, whom we'd diplomatically warned that there were not many gals signed up, came anyway. Until about 10 pm, my wife was the only female in the house. The next day, we said to each other, "we ain't doin' this again."

 

I like to defend my gender. But this was, I fear, a demonstration of the lesser angels of men's natures. It seems (I will include myself in this) that a woman is needed to keep an honest man honest. I might ask if it is also true that a man is needed to keep an honest woman honest.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

We've hosted several parties. Usually we just invite couples. If someone is not able to bring their spouse we are ok with them coming, usually it's the woman, actually.

 

It was really funny, once I invited a single guy who I liked and who had attended several of our meet and greet events. I also knew that a couple who was coming played with him. He was a nervous wreck at the party because he was the only single guy. I tried to get him to get him to swim with us and he wouldn't. He left early and we (and our friends who knew him better) never heard from him again!

 

I think if you know and trust someone it is fine to invite them if they are single or not. I wouldn't have more than 2 or 3 single guys at our parties (15 to 20 couples) and I wouldn't attend a party with more than 3 single guys. The problem I have is that I have met very few single guys who are interested in spending a little time to be deemed trustworthy.

[Bob250 74]

Hmmmmm, this is a curious question. I did not enter the LS until after my divorce, so ALL of my experiences have been as a single man. My experiences with house parties is, however, fairly extensive. At any house parties I have attended, I was an invited guest. Sometimes a SPECIFICALLY invited guest. Most persons there were glad I came. But then again, I'm good at fucking, and I'm polite, so that may have been the reasons I got repeat invitations. This is a very interesting question.

[angelkin 1,326]

When I was in the habit of hosting house parties, we invited couples and singles...but never allowed for a "sign up" - all invitations were personally extended. We would invite about 10-15 couples, 3-4 single men, and 3-4 single ladies. Most of these people we had already met or had been in contact with and wanted to meet.

 

As an attendee, I like single men in limited quantities and of the highest quality. I mean super respectful, engaging, and lifestyle experienced.

[BiCaliGirl777 48]

It really depends on the individual. I know that for single guys it's difficult to even get into parties/clubs without paying a huge fee and/or being screened, whereas single women can just walk right in. Single guys have a stigma against them, so they have to work much more harder to build trust when entering these scenarios.

 

With that being said, I'm only into M/F couples, as a single women I feel there's an extra level of protection and keeping it "in check". If the right single guy came along then I don't mind...

[pilote 20]

...I've been a single guy at house parties many times, always at invitation...so one can conclude that I've been "vetted" as a single for parties, at least in my locale...I have no interest in going to clubs and being another "sausage" on the sidelines...house parties are intimate and casual; most of the couples know each other and everyone is extremely casual and likeminded...and that is what I love most about the house party environment...conversations are always fun/interesting...and people are REAL...

[afterwork 89]

In our youthful days where we went to house parties (large), we only saw one single fellow. He was the bartender. The night was essentially over with only a few of us diehards still managing to get it back up and go for some more. Mrs Afterwork was somewhere in the house, but a trek from party room to party room had her not found. I went to the main party room where she was finally seen straddling our host's face while the host's wife was straddling his cock. Mrs Afterwork was deeply exchanging lip and nipple kisses from Mrs Host. Everyone was naked. I sat down a few feet away from this sight using a wall for a back brace with my cock becoming quite hard watching these two ladies pleasure and be pleasured.

 

Then walked in our only single fellow, the Bartender, a black young man sporting an extremely thick and large hard on. As he started to walk past Mrs Afterwork, she grabbed his cock and began stroking it towards her face. At that moment, a young lady that I had no notion as to who she was sat down beside me saying, "Looks like you are enjoying the show." She began stroking my cock (I was really young then) for its third effort of the night. I saw Mrs Afterwork dismount the face of the Host and pull the bartener down onto her saying, "Go gentle with that big black beast and fuck me."

 

I guess my reaction was gratifying to the young lady as she said "Oh my, you just harded up really well." She started pumping me with her mouth and I stroked and fingered her cum soaked pussy. She pulled her mouth off and took hold of my cock pulling me out to the action saying, "Lets get a better look as Sid and your wife." I had no idea his name and I still didn't know her.

 

She knelt down at an oblique angle toward the missionary pair of Mrs Afterwork and the black bartender. Mrs. Afterwork was reaching up with here tiny legs trying to give him greater access. My new friend said yelled stick it in me, to which I obliged. It really wasn't his skin color, or his being single, it was the huge size I saw Mrs Afterwork taking. The two of us watching this moment were nearly on top of them, when my new friend reached underneath the mass of a cock and stuck a finger in Mrs Afterwork's ass. She began yelling at Mrs Afterwork to fuck him and fuck him hard just like her husband was doing to her. Perhaps I misunderstood, by I took that to mean I was to pound as hard as I could and at the same time I stuck two fingers into her ass. She screamed so loud that it caused Mrs Afterwork to do the same with all four of us coming at the same time.

 

My contribution was minimal having spent myself twice before, I pulled out and started to remove my fingers when she glared back at me yelling keep them in and keep pumping. She was doing the same to Mrs. Afterwork. The bartender had enormous load and it was still spewing from his cock. He moved up to Mrs. Afterwork who did her best to swallow what was still coming out but she could not concentrate as my new found friend was lapping up the cum left in Mrs Afterwork's pussy from the bartender. I so wanted to be hard again.

 

So, in general, we don't like single men or women at house parties. But on that one and only instance, wow.

[BobGann 40]

I've always enjoyed house parties as well, and like some of the others have mentioned, having only attended those where a few guys were on the "invite" list. It's a great way to meet people. I have no desire to go to a club setting where anyone who can pay the admission fee is allowed in, at least in certain places.

 

The one drawback is that unlike somebody's online profile, you can't tell what couples are interested in. So just being friendly and non-pushy has always worked pretty well..the people who are interested will find you, the people who aren't interested will just politely ignore you.

[pilote 20]

I've always enjoyed house parties as well, and like some of the others have mentioned, having only attended those where a few guys were on the "invite" list. It's a great way to meet people. I have no desire to go to a club setting where anyone who can pay the admission fee is allowed in, at least in certain places.

 

The one drawback is that unlike somebody's online profile, you can't tell what couples are interested in. So just being friendly and non-pushy has always worked pretty well..the people who are interested will find you, the people who aren't interested will just politely ignore you.

 

 

...exactly.

[lnw 145]

Just returned from a private house party last weekend with 15 couples, 2 single F and 1 single M. All guests were invited so no open invite or signup. Funny thing was, there were 4 other single M that were invited, said they were coming, and never showed. But the one guy that did show was very nice. Very respectful, good looking, clean cut and very much a gentleman.

 

The other house party we have been to was small but not selected couples. Was not near as pleasurable for us as the last one we just attended.

 

Bottom line, too many guys can certainly spoil the party but a few selected and verified can add to the mix.

[njbm 2,871]

I am quiet, not pushy and respectful as a male. Other males at house parties , coupled and single, are sometimes more aggressive. We call them predators or bumblebees (they want to pollinate every flower).

 

I enjoy playing couple to couple more. The whole house party wants to do my wife and I often find myself eating coffee cake.

[pilote 20]

I am quiet, not pushy and respectful as a male. Other males at house parties , coupled and single, are sometimes more aggressive. We call them predators or bumblebees (they want to pollinate every flower).

 

I enjoy playing couple to couple more. The whole house party wants to do my wife and I often find myself eating coffee cake.

 

 

...i've been to parties with "predatory" males; when i see that as a prevelent situation i leave because i know it will be "guilt by association"...i am not and do not think like that...predatory males are unfortunatly the norm; that's how it is because that is the male nature...which unfortuately taints the minority of males who still "think with the head on top"...so i understand that most couples shun single males, at least initially; i see it as part of my landscape of the lifestyle i have to deal with...

[adamgunn 1,460]

"predatory males are unfortunatly the norm; that's how it is because that is the male nature"

 

I disagree. I and my ex attended many a house party and went to swinger's clubs. In general, I would characterize single males at those places respectful and reasonable. Not all of them, there's always a jerk or two. But most of them were quite nice to talk to.

[pilote 20]

"predatory males are unfortunatly the norm; that's how it is because that is the male nature"

 

I disagree. I and my ex attended many a house party and went to swinger's clubs. In general, I would characterize single males at those places respectful and reasonable. Not all of them, there's always a jerk or two. But most of them were quite nice to talk to.

 

 

...i dare to say that in your experiences(s), the single men were already screened/cherry picked for those parties...there is a reason why most parties serverly limit the Single Male invitations...a lot of profiles on SLS lock out single males looking at their profiles...a TRUE male in the lifestyle, single or not is indeed respectful and reasonable; outside of that, the ones that think they are "players" are pretty much preditors looking to just blow a load; that is NOT what the lifestyle is all about...

 

...my gender; my fellow Men; in general they are mostly prudish, insincerly holier than thou, or just plain a-holes LOL...

[Napoleon 230]

Me and my buddies we combine our money and resources and throw parties at one of our buddies mansion. The ratio is for every one man we have 5 to 10 women, most of the women are in their 20s. The vast majority of swinger clubs view single males as a negative factor. At least 60% of the couples are going to dislike you off the back. One tactic I use is I attend a swinger club alone the fist time to see who's cool and who isn't. The second time I attend I bring one of my gorgeous young lady friends with me. Its funny how couples who roll their eyes at me miraculously go out their way to greet us.

[njbm 2,871]

That is because as a couple you have something to offer to the male of the other couple. If you are going to a picnic, bring your own ham sandwich. Don't just eat the other guy's ham sandwich, so to speak.

[PSULioness 847]

Last year we were invited to a party. This is before we were married meaning we were single but went as a couple. I didn't know all the people there but the ones I knew were also single couples. I know some were there alone both male and female singles. I know I was with people I was attracted to. I didn't stop to ask if they were alone or part of a couple.

[Twilighttap 168]

We were planning on going to an indoor nudist party that accepts swingers. Mostly couples, some singles. No photos or cameras allowed. Yet some single guy is making an issue because he wants photos of people entering and leaving to be posted on his website. Smiling faces he calls it. Probably the same guy who was jerking off by the jacuzzi last year until he was told to shut it down and leave after many complaints. What’s with these guys? No class or awareness.

[pilote 20]

We were planning on going to an indoor nudist party that accepts swingers. Mostly couples, some singles. No photos or cameras allowed. Yet some single guy is making an issue because he wants photos of people entering and leaving to be posted on his website. Smiling faces he calls it. Probably the same guy who was jerking off by the jacuzzi last year until he was told to shut it down and leave after many complaints. What’s with these guys? No class or awareness.

 

...pretty much called it...definitely no class...borderling pervvy; surely a porn freak and someone who is truly not into what the lifestyle is about...

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

You want pictures? We want privacy...what we want wins. Either no pictures or no attendance.

 

Just knowing that there will be single guys there, we would think twice about going...

[EastInWest 1,524]

Wanting to take pictures at a swingers party to post on your website and show off the smiling faces is unbelievably tone-deaf.

[The Expat 17]

I can imagine you gave up on parties where single men are allowed.

However, would you also give up on parties where single women are allowed?

If not, please be so kind to question your motives for swinging.

If you are in couples swinging, no problem, stay with that.

If you are into sharing your wife or your wife sharing you, then couples swinging is not for you, I presume.

If you dont mind to share your wife with other guys, then the presence of more men as women is a kind of "must".

[adamgunn 1,460]

Expat, my wife and I constantly debated going to house parties where single men were allowed. Yes, we knew what our 'motives' were.

 

Unfortunately, it's a fact of life that when you have 'too many' single men together, things have a habit of getting out of hand. When we went to house parties, we mainly went for foursome sex. Occasionally, we might get into a small orgy; in those cases, there tended to be (for us) an even number of men and women, with not more than one single man.

 

However we noticed when there was an abundance of single men at a house party and even at a club, they tended to egg each other on, the respect that they normally had was reduced. That was the reason we tended not to go to house parties where there were more than a couple of single men.

 

Now, before you stomp on me too, we often enjoyed single men in threesome situations. I talked to them often about how they were expected to behave, and they understood the prejudice that accompanies the single male. I personally have no problems with single men.

 

I can say that I never saw single women acting disrespectfully. Of course, I don't think I ever saw more than one or two single women at a party, so . . .

[Jane1902 476]

As a single female I never attend parties alone based on my experiences with both single and married men at parties, and I will only attend with a well trusted partner.

[The Expat 17]

Most certainly, I will not stomp on you.

Well, I have been running a club for a few years, and I had very strict rules.

Most important, the woman always had the first and the last word, period.

Every evening there were always one or more single women, besides couples, knowing there were more men.

But never had any problems with pushy males, because make a problem, out you go.

I had a special day for women wanting it all, in the weekend couples only, and the rest of the week the mix of couples, single men and single women.

I presume you would have liked it with me.

In later years I went to clubs with my girlfriend, sometimes she wanted a one on one, sometimes couple on couple, and sometimes she wanted more songs with men.

Never had a problem, but, in the clubs we visited there were strict rules.

And that worked.

Years after I sold the club, I met customers in clubs I recommended to them.

[Fi86 78]

Single female view here: I can understand why some people would be confused or annoyed if it's a couples only night. If it's not then I think a few extra guys is a good thing for threesomes and looking after girls like me (although I love playing with couples). If there are a lot of single men it should be advertised as a gangbang night, which is also great, but then couples would know what they're going to.

[Eddiem 139]

I will admit that this question derives from a conversation that I saw at a different social media Web site. But I believe that it is a worthwhile question, so here it is.

 

For any of you who attend private house parties as a couple, does the presence of a single man or single men at a house party make you uncomfortable? I have my own feeling about this but will keep them to myself for the present so this conversation can be open.

 

For me and "us" it really depends. Once at a club there were mostly single men... just a bad vibe. Best is with couples and throw in the odd single lady (not as pushy and do not try to play voyeur-creepy). However we did at a party notice there were a couple of extra men at the event. Luckily they were younger snd in great shape. They basically were brought in to help service and bring some spice to the mix.

[mammothBBC 16]

One of the issues is a lack of vetting/preselection for single males. Many clubs/hosts just don't want to do that and invite anyone who will pay the club fee. Most of the single males I know are nice guys and very well experienced in the lifestyle. If some place doesn't want us there, that's fine. I don't want to be there, and I'll be sure to avoid the spot when I have a female date.

 

It is just a bit different than inviting a bunch of couples or bunch of women. You have to know the guys a bit or see them in action to know that they will show up and how they will act.

[kellimc 227]

As a single female I never attend parties alone based on my experiences with both single and married men at parties, and I will only attend with a well trusted partner.

 

I've had very few problems with married men at parties, but when they did occur they were resolved quickly, usually with the hosts intervening and asking the couple to leave.

 

I absolutely will not attend parties where single males are present. Some are just too pushy and won't take "no" for an answer, but most often they just make things awkward. When I was younger and first started going to house parties that allowed single males, I found that they couldn't leave our sexual encounters at the party. So many times they would ask me to go on dates with them. They were obviously looking for a relationship with a lifestyle female and couldn't understand that I wasn't looking for dates or a relationship, or that I was in the lifestyle just for no-strings-attached recreational sex.

[myShaddy3mail 16]

I will admit that this question derives from a conversation that I saw at a different social media Web site. But I believe that it is a worthwhile question, so here it is.

 

For any of you who attend private house parties as a couple, does the presence of a single man or single men at a house party make you uncomfortable? I have my own feeling about this but will keep them to myself for the present so this conversation can be open.

 

I am a single male and I have never been to a house party so I can provide zero insight here but I want to participate if its cool. Hypothetically if I went to a house party as a married man I would have not agreed to go if there was something to make me uncomfortable. Anything... I'm wondering what "uncomfortable" will mean when I read some responses. I am still amazed single men get invited.

[padoc 1,703]

Friends throw a periodic intimate party at their house, generally 6-8 couples and one single male. They assured us upon our initial invite that the guy was very respectful and fun to have around. We had our doubts but since we knew the host couple and one other couple in the group, we gave it a shot. Turns out that "Bob" was all that and more. He's a tall, thin guy in his 40's, very nice looking, with a bigger than average penis and is a guy who believes in the concept of ladies first. He didn't cull out one of the women and pound her silly in a separate room and then angle for the next, the guy paid attention to the group dynamic and initially was the 2nd dick in a 3-some with Mrs Doc and me. He moved off after a bit but came back when invited but was never pushy and clearly respected the husband/wife relationship with everyone there. We joked later that Bob had broken the code. He came twice, bonked 4 middle aged women, and was a part of somewhere around a dozen orgasms, some of Mrs Doc's included. We have since been to several additional parties and found that the guy was an absolute gentleman. He's a far cry from some of the trolls we've encountered at other house parties and some swingers clubs. We would invite him to our home and that's saying a lot.

[adamgunn 1,460]

PaDoc, yes, that's the kind of single gentlemen that should be invited to house parties.

 

At the house parties we went to there were often these respectful unattached men. My wife enjoyed the dynamic, often played with them, reserving them for after we'd swapped with a couple. I can't remember a time when a single male was a jerk in the cliques we hung out with.

[1XcellentXtra4U 29]

I wish there were more single men at swingers parties. That’s more men for me to fuck.

Love ya!!! ... priceless!

[samandtammi 99]

We host parties and try to keep an even number of men and women. That means if we invite a single guy, we invite a single girl. We realize that a cancellation at the last minute is always a possibility so the single guy is always someone that we know is respectful. We only invite about 8 couples and it has never been a problem.

Single guys are not a problem, per se, it's the way they handle themselves. If they are respectful, they are respected!

[Freaky.Fiona 74]

Not a fan for swinging parties. Now a single woman I’d be more open to, but usually keep it to couples.

[Lombardswingers 18]

I’d like to propose that we try looking at this a different way.

 

If the question was “how do you feel about single ladies at a house party” (or any other setting really), I guarantee you that everyone would be all for single women...the more the merrier!!! So why is there little to no love for the single male?

 

Well, I guess it all depends on the males that are there. We all know that there are some creepy/pervy/predatory single males out there, and then there are some cool, laid back, friendly guys that know how to interact socially. I get that, in fact we all do. The thing is, just like single men, not all single ladies are a “pleasure” to have around. I’ve seen more than one single girl that had more than just a little too much to drink (maybe just to shed her inhibitions, who knows), and if she were a guy, everyone would have steered clear of her, but more often than not, single women get a “pass” because they’re in low supply, and high demand.

 

The point I’m trying to make is that people of both sexes can be awesome, or they can be awful, it just depends on the person in question. Some of the responsibility falls on the host’s shoulders too though, if a single male guest is acting obnoxious, creepy, weird, aggressive, whatever, then it’s up to the hosts to do something about it. With proper screening beforehand, most of that can be avoided. I know that there will always be a couple guys here and there that “seemed nice”, and then showed their true colors later, that’s just unavoidable, but I think they’re the exception, not the rule.

 

As far as single guys at a house party (or any other setting really), my opinion is that as long as they’re “screened”/vouched for/vetted, and it isn’t a “sausage fest”, then why not?!?!? We may not always meet a couple that we click with, but if we meet a cool guy at least the Mrs can have a little MFM fun, right?

[adamgunn 1,460]

You make a good point, Lombard, but I think the reality in many situations is different.

 

Everyone wants single women, as you point out. And so, assuming they are ready to play, they are in a private room someplace, not in the public areas wondering what the hell to do.

 

SOME single men don't get lucky, and so they hang out, leer and sometimes made crude comments. Not all, we also appreciate a cultured single male, and a few of them got lucky with us. But the uncultured ones just get creepy. That rarely happens with single women.

[divenaked 325]

I have been in the lifestyle a long time now. Started with my ex wife, then as a single male, and now with Ms Dive. Since I had been in the lifestyle as half of a couple who played with single males a good bit, I knew how to act, and not act when I became single. Once I proved myself to be charming and respectful, I found myself getting invited to parties all the time. Then from there, as a third for MFMs and to parties from others in the local party scene. I never went to clubs as a single because the entry fees were usually outrageous, besides, I was going to house parties twice a month anyways.

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Have been on both sides of this so to speak. In my younger days I was always partnered with a woman, & most of the swinging was with other couples. Single males were rare at the house parties. The parties were fairly small. Four couples being near average & a dozen participants a large party for me. When i returned to the LS a few years ago it was as a single male. In this case most of the groups I've played with were simple threesomes, or one or two women and up to five males. Most tho not all these involved bi males. Straight males were not invited. Even with just one woman in the room the dynamic was different when the men were not all focused on sticking their dic in the single woman present.

[twohots4u2 188]

We always invite extra single men to our small swing parties. The couples know it in advance and that is part of the attraction of our swing parties. We have found from experience that most women can outlast three men, and so we try to have a ratio of three to one, men to women. It works out well, and everyone goes home well sated.

[ncalfuncpl 20]

We have become very tired of single males. All of our local clubs allow them.

 

Over the weekend we attended a private invite only house party that was hosts by a couple we had meet several months back on SLS.

 

This was Couples only, we had the best time we have had in ages. No singles is our preference

[Bluespruce1 706]

Whats a good MMMF without at least one single guy with a nice hard cock who wants to make an impression on me!?