Do you find new couples online?

[njbm 2,871]

We have several couples with whom we play recurrently. We go to a few house parties that recur. We go on lifestyle cruises. We go to Desire and Caliente. We play enough, but we are usually up to meet new people.

 

I am sure that we are not unique in that when we reach out to people on SLS, the most common response is "unread and unreplied," closely followed by they are not a match.

 

What do others do? I am close to giving up on meeting on SLS by emailing.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

We still are able to meet new people from time to time on SLS, or on APG. It's not a frequent thing to get together with new people based on correspondence on SLS or APG these days, in our case because we are making it clear that the Mrs is not up for meeting new people, and I am interested in meeting the new people as a solo guy. But it does happen once in a while.

 

Another online method we have found useful for meeting people is our membership in several lifestyle-oriented Facebook groups. It's a more lively venue for interacting with people, and it's easy and natural to react to people's posts and comments, and then to move to individual chats with people you find interesting. We use a different Facebook account from the ones that the Mrs and I use for our vanilla lives; instead, we have a separate Facebook account, that we use just for lifestyle group memberships, and that we both share.

[njbm 2,871]

Interesting tip on Facebook. We are the last two people on Earth that are not on Facebook due to privacy concerns. But we'll rethink it. Best regards to you and your wingwoman!

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Your privacy concerns are ones that we thought carefully about as well. We use a name for the lifestyle Facebook account that is different from either of our full names, yet sounds like a real name (i.e., it's not an SLS-type name like "Longdong Silver"!). It's important that you select a normal, reasonable-sounding name, because 1) you want people to friend you, and they might hesitate to have someone named "Longdong Silver" on their publicly-viewable friend list, and 2) Facebook has been known to harass people with implausible-sounding names, forcing them to prove that their Facebook name is their real name by producing a utility bill or other documented proof of name, or threatening to delete their account. Also, we don't post pictures of ourselves on our timeline- we only post pictures of ourselves in the secret Facebook groups that are invisible to everyone outside the group.

 

Also, thanks for the well wishes to my wingwoman- I've passed that along, and she sends hers as well. And I'll pass my greeting to your sexy partner as well!

[lnw 145]

njbm - we have had similar results on SLS. We get maybe a 50% reply back to any notes we send out to couples we find interesting and want to reach out to. We don't send a note if there is not a chance of getting together (wrong part of the country and no plans to travel there, etc...). But still, the few couples that have followed through have been great. And yes, we do get a few "thanks but no thanks" and we are cool with that. At least they replied.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

SLS has its frustrations but we have found nothing better (in regard to on-line stuff) over the last ten years. Be patient; persist.

[Guest]

Most of our couples activity has come from couples clubs and Desires. We have met a few on SLS and similar sites. The problem there is that it tends to be at least a 2 meeting thing, meet and get to know each other, and then meet again with a hotel with all are interested. We’re much more spontaneous than that.

[CostaRica 130]

We've found all of our play mates through SLS, or through friends we met on SLS. Our nearest club is 5 hours away and the only parties here that are open to the public have as many single men as there are couples and I'm simply not comfortable with that.

 

We found that we got a lot of contacts when we were new to the site and not many since then, and we have about a 40% response rate to the emails that we send out.

[DigginIt 1,132]

Some of the best friends we have made were connections made through SLS. I will say that over the past two years, we have been disinterested in SLS more and more. I think that there is a point you reach where you know too many people and just the thought of having to filter through the noise/disingenuous people to hopefully find another compatible play couple just becomes too tedious.

 

Some simple rules of thumb that we use, many will disagree but still:

 

No pictures or certifications = no email

Free members = no email

Profile has neglectful clues "we are new" and profile is seven years old = no email

Very little thought into profile = no email

 

Don't offer to go on a date offer to meet them at a local club - if it's not 5 hours away