Hotwifing experience

[Lionheart72 2,190]

So I mentioned my wife going solo to our local club this weekend in my Swingers social media, and asncpl asked about it. I thought I'd spin this off into a new thread since it's a different topic..

 

I don't have anything new to add, but having been doing much more hotwifing and separate dates lately, I for one would love to hear what happens. So Lionheart72, please do keep us posted here. I'm very interested to hear how you and your wife are handling the emotional side of things and how you deal with any issues that may have come up.

 

This was the third time my wife has gone solo to our club. I've posted about it before in other threads, but the quick summary is that after years of swinging together, and after me playing separately with a friend-with-benefits (now sadly ex-fwb), we reached the point where I was not only comfortable with the idea of her playing alone - I was serious turned on by the idea.

 

It's been fun. She goes to the club. I stay home and do my own things. The first time, as I think I've said elsewhere, I expected to be nervous or excited while she was out but I actually didn't even think about what she was up to until she got home. It's been pretty much the same each time. The idea of her going out and playing with other guys majorly turns me on, but while she's out I tend to forget about it and just watch Netflix until she gets home.

 

My wife enjoys it too. She doesn't bring it up herself, but when I suggest she could go out to the club she just lights up. This most recent time she'd said "maybe" she'd go if she "had the energy." Come the evening, the only question in her mind was how to dress sexy and dress for the cold weather at the same time. She is also amused as all hell by how hot this makes me. She loves that she can drive me completely wild by just mentioning it.

 

So far, the only issue that I'm having is the worry that I might be a little too into this. I fear it may be moving toward fetishistic proportions. I'm resolved to try having some "just us" sex in the near future to try and curb that a bit. Otherwise, it's being a fun ride so far.

 

Feel free too ask questions (even about the salacious details, I'd love to share) or share your own experiences...

[EastInWest 1,524]

Glad you're having fun with this! What's the process like when she's out and comes back? Are the two of you eager for your own playtime when she returns? How did she feel about her first solo trip?

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Glad you're having fun with this! What's the process like when she's out and comes back? Are the two of you eager for your own playtime when she returns? How did she feel about her first solo trip?

 

Process... hmm... she get's dressed up and goes out. I watch Netflix in an effort to stay awake until she get's back. I tend to get wrapped up in whatever I'm watching and really don't think about what she might be up to until she get's back. We've got two firm rules... the first is she has to tell me everything that happens and the second is that if her panties come off, they stay off. The first two times, she came home without panties on. Drove me wild. We've both been very eager to play when she get's home.

 

How did she feel? I believe she enjoyed herself. She's generally more social than I am, so I think she has fun just being able to hang and chat with people at the club without worrying about me feeling bored or left out. Also, she's had great experiences with the couple of guys she's hooked up with. She really has fun, and then gets to drive me wild when she get's home which is the icing on the cake.

[asncpl 729]

So far, the only issue that I'm having is the worry that I might be a little too into this. I fear it may be moving toward fetishistic proportions. I'm resolved to try having some "just us" sex in the near future to try and curb that a bit. Otherwise, it's being a fun ride so far.

 

Thanks for sharing! You are not alone in being way into it. My husband is the same way. Instead of your panties rule, I usually play bareback, put my panties back on after getting a creampie, and Mr. A goes wild feeling the cream inside me when I get home. But what you are trying to curb by having "just us" sex may have already happened to us. Mr. A and I have amazing sex whenever I come back from a date or in a MMF threesome with him, but we haven't had much stand-alone sex lately. When we do, I could tell he's not as excited. I've asked him about it and he admitted as much, telling me that the idea of thinking what I was doing all night while he's at home, hearing about it when I get back, and feeling someone's cream inside me all made him super horny. I'm not sure if this is temporary (until it's no longer new and exciting), but you are wise to curb the "fetish."

 

Since you don't know who your wife is going to hook up with, do you worry about her safety? I usually text/call Mr. A a couple of times a night, and sometimes send him naughty photos and short videos. I do that to let him know things are going well and also to tease him a bit.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Since you don't know who your wife is going to hook up with, do you worry about her safety? I usually text/call Mr. A a couple of times a night, and sometimes send him naughty photos and short videos. I do that to let him know things are going well and also to tease him a bit.

 

I have confidence in the people at our local club. The staff there is good and there is a core group who I know would be there for her... even if they were drunk off their asses... so in an emergency, I know there are semi-reliable people she can turn to. Also, the club is literally walking distance from our house. So, no, I don't have any more concern for her safety than I do on any other occasion.

[whtasncpl 19]

Personally I feel everything should be done together as a couple, even if your only watching your partner enjoying themselves with others.If your playing separately and one is not even there,its just consensual cheating don't you think?? does this evolve from hotwifing after the newness wears off? I guess I would ask how long you and asncpl have you been doing this??

[Lionheart72 2,190]

Personally I feel everything should be done together as a couple, even if your only watching your partner enjoying themselves with others.If your playing separately and one is not even there,its just consensual cheating don't you think?? does this evolve from hotwifing after the newness wears off? I guess I would ask how long you and asncpl have you been doing this??

 

The thing is, we are doing it as a couple. Even though we're not in the same room, or even the same building, during the sex act itself part of the enjoyment for both of us comes from the fact that it is a shared experience. My wife goes out, she hooks up with a guy and then she comes home and shares that experience with me. It is still about us.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

Personally I feel everything should be done together as a couple, even if your only watching your partner enjoying themselves with others.If your playing separately and one is not even there,its just consensual cheating don't you think?? does this evolve from hotwifing after the newness wears off? I guess I would ask how long you and asncpl have you been doing this??

The relationship that my wife and I enjoy is continually changing with the general direction being forward. We started with monogamy. Then we discovered swing. We then developed an open marriage. We now agree that either of us is free to visit with other mutual acquaintances for sex and other kinds of fun. There is no requirement that stories must be told after an encounter. And we still engage in swing the good oid fashioned way, couple with couple meetings including same-room sex.

 

Until we learned from an esteemed member, FundamentalLaw, that it has a name, consensual non-monogomy, we did not understand it completely as a concept. The concept includes that there is no one way of doing it all correctly. Although it is not one of our practices, hotwifing is included under a concept like this.

 

My wife and I stay true to each other and to our principles. That is sufficient for us.

[victoria'dreams 141]

I could definitely relate to that. Prior to meet my wife I had a long relationship with a woman and because she was traveling so much for work and had so much time by ourselves alone we brought the idea of an open relationship. The only difference with hotwifing and an open relationship is that hotwifing supposed to be only the woman having sex with others. So I was meeting women and her some men but the feeling I had when she met some guys was exactly the one hotwifing is. Like you Lionheart I wanted to know each details of her meetings and it was driving me insanely horny.

 

With my wife we never did something like that. She has too different character than my ex and because she is so submissive leaving her alone would be totally out of control. It's my wife that is actually less turned on by the idea of being alone. She made me swear I will never let her alone with a guy. Not because she is afraid of what she might do but it is my presence in the room that makes her excited and safe. She likes the feeling that "I make her fuck other men". So, not really hotwifing with her but really enjoying that other men desire her and have sex with her. I believe hooked on that. She could meet other people much less often than I would like, but she loves it so much and would be very sad to stop that also.

[victoria'dreams 141]

The question I want to ask you is would you be able to describe what in particular makes you so excited about this hotwifing experience and your wife on her own?

[OpenMindedPair 35]

"She likes the feeling that "I make her fuck other men".

 

Women want to be "told" to be naughty, uninhibited, flirty, slutty, a sex object, get attention, be dominated and "made" to have uninhibited casual sex with a hot sexy stranger or couple.

 

It takes away the responsibility and guilt, shame, conditioning they cant enjoy sex ever except with a husband, all that nonsense.

 

Women are highly imaginative, sexual, lustful, erotic minded creatures completely evolved for multiple partner sessions. Insecure controlling patriarchy shames and fears that.

 

You don't have to. Remaining dominant and telling her to do what she probably really desires too, safely, opens up worlds of thrills for you both. Just my opinion.

 

And "go get laid" hotwifing is a power imbalance, it seems. Also seems vastly less erotic to not be there and enjoy, participate, etc.

[OpenMindedPair 35]

Me, the husband, had an ex gf who had good friends into house parties and hotwifing. I was open to exploring, but only on equal terms. That gf said she was too jealous to share me, and while sharing her was arousing, the power imbalance wasnt palatable.

That basically ended an otherwise very good, if brief, relationship.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Women want to be "told" to be naughty, uninhibited, flirty, slutty, a sex object, get attention, be dominated and "made" to have uninhibited casual sex with a hot sexy stranger or couple.

 

I think 'told' is not the word to use here. I think women want to know it is okay...encouraged, allowed to be 'naughty'.

[asncpl 729]

The thing is, we are doing it as a couple. Even though we're not in the same room, or even the same building, during the sex act itself part of the enjoyment for both of us comes from the fact that it is a shared experience. My wife goes out, she hooks up with a guy and then she comes home and shares that experience with me. It is still about us.

 

I can't say it any better. I'd add that the word "cheating" infers one of the spouses is not aware of what's going on, and that's the farthest from the truth. Even though my husband and I are not physically together when I play with someone else, it's still a shared experience between us in terms of emotional connection, trust, and of course sexual arousal. We started with same-room sex like most swingers and it's just how the lifestyle has evolved for us as we explore our own sexuality.

[Lionheart72 2,190]

The question I want to ask you is would you be able to describe what in particular makes you so excited about this hotwifing experience and your wife on her own?

 

I'm honestly not really sure, but I believe it's related to the same impulse that enjoys watching her fuck other guys... only without the actual watching. I'll have to ponder this...

[Lionheart72 2,190]

"She likes the feeling that "I make her fuck other men".

 

Women want to be "told" to be naughty, uninhibited, flirty, slutty, a sex object, get attention, be dominated and "made" to have uninhibited casual sex with a hot sexy stranger or couple.

 

Some women might want that. My wife, I know, does not. She doesn't need anyone's permission to be sexual and doesn't have ant interest in being dominated or made to do anything. She just enjoys casual, uninhibited sex.

[Guest]

"She likes the feeling that "I make her fuck other men".

 

Women want to be "told" to be naughty, uninhibited, flirty, slutty, a sex object, get attention, be dominated and "made" to have uninhibited casual sex with a hot sexy stranger or couple.

 

It takes away the responsibility and guilt, shame, conditioning they cant enjoy sex ever except with a husband, all that nonsense.

 

.

 

I’m sure other women will jump on you for this statement but it is totally me. Telling me what I am suppose to do, especially if its while we are making love, adding some spanking, and threat of more if I don’t do it. That’s a total turn on for me.

[victoria'dreams 141]

I’m sure other women will jump on you for this statement but it is totally me. Telling me what I am suppose to do, especially if its while we are making love, adding some spanking, and threat of more if I don’t do it. That’s a total turn on for me.

 

I treat my wife like a princess and we deeply love each other. That attitude on her being dominated and somehow used, only concerns her sexuality. We also have passionate sex, it depends of the mood. For the experiences we do with others, she doesn't like if it is passionate, kissing other men, someone massaging her or even participating in a conversation makes her less excited. She is really turned on feeling like a slut, a body or an object.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I think 'told' is not the word to use here. I think women want to know it is okay...encouraged, allowed to be 'naughty'.

 

There's another thread exploring this same topic, but this is definitely a description of the early taboos Mrs. EastInWest has gotten across. At this point, I've watched a fountain of one of her best friend's ex-husband's cum gush out of her mouth, but she's still shy about uncovering her breasts. That sensation that it's unacceptable to loosen up is a tough one to shake.

 

There might be a confidence gap there, too. She's never been the sexual aggressor and was taught from an early age that it was her job to "play defense". Putting her to the task of finding a hookup just isn't something she's acquainted with, as hot as it could potentially be to acquaint her with it. She's still learning to sext.