College project - Learning about the swinging lifestyle/culture

[Valerie123 15]

Hello to all. I am a college student and I am doing a sociology project that involves the swinging culture. I have several questions for anyone who wishes to answer, this is 100% voluntary. Your identity will not be exposed by any means. I am not here to judge but rather to learn.

 

1. What forms of social action (behavior) do swingers engage in and how are these actions different from the larger population?

 

2. Are there any symbols particular to the culture? If so, describe their significance.

 

3. Are there any codes/forms of communication particular to the culture that are different from standard forms of communication?

 

4. How do members join or gain entry into the culture?

 

Thank you so much for your time!

[Lionheart72 2,191]

Greetings and welcome. I'm sure you'll find folks willing to answer your questions, myself among them.

 

1.What forms of social action (behavior) do swingers engage in and how are these actions different from the larger population?

 

Apart from the obvious? (The obvious being consensual, non-monogamous sexual activity between individuals and/or committed couples.) I'd say the other key behavior involves open, honest communication.

 

2.Are there any symbols particular to the culture? If so, describe their significance.

 

I'm not aware of any.

 

3.Are there any codes/forms of communication particular to the culture that are different from standard forms of communication?

 

Generally, no... though, I think like any subculture, swingers do share a certain amount of jargon, terms like play (sexual activity), swap (exchange of sexual partners between couples), soft swap (swapping partners but without sex... though may include oral sex).

 

4. How do members join or gain entry into the culture?

 

Pretty much by deciding to do so.

[Valerie123 15]

Thank you so much for your feedback!

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

1.What forms of social action (behavior) do swingers engage in and how are these actions different from the larger population?

 

Social behavior? We do pretty much the same things that 'vanilla' couples do...go out, get together with others, enjoy an evening with friends. Only difference is that there is always a chance that we are getting lucky (only with someone who we didn't come or leave the gathering with)

 

The keys to being successful are swingers have much more than the average couple has when it comes to love, trust and communication. All three are vitally and equally important. Most swingers talk about everything without fear of judgement and that just makes the relationship...well, swinging is just the sprinkles on the ice cream of life.

 

2.Are there any symbols particular to the culture? If so, describe their significance.

 

This question comes up often. The problem with having a particular 'symbol' is that once anyone else knows what it is, then it isn't a secret anymore (and most swingers value their privacy). There have been attempts in the past (black ring on right hand, a pineapple on a porch, white landscaping rocks, a red porch light, a “Tide” laundry box in your window), but nothing has taken hold. As for images, Google will show images, but these are also nothing more than a picture and aren't really used for any reason.

 

3.Are there any codes/forms of communication particular to the culture that are different from standard forms of communication?

 

Vanilla = people who are 'plain' or not in the lifestyle

Lifestyle or L/S = swingers

Same room = two couples having sex in the same room, with limited (or no) interaction between the two couples

Soft swap = anything up to (and the limits are usually determined in advance by the people involved) intercourse (and soft sway counts as swinging)

Full swap = intercourse

Playing = Getting together with another individual or couple to have (whatever your agreed limits may be) sex

Unicorn = A single woman interested in playing with a couple

Golden Unicorn = A bisexual single woman interested in playing with a couple

FFM = Two women (usually a unicorn) and one (very lucky) man - can also be FMF...sometimes this indicates that the female half of the couple isn't interested in FF play

MMF = Two men, one woman

Open marriage = Both partners are allowed to 'date' other people without the other being involved

 

That's all I can think of off the top of my head

 

4. How do members join or gain entry into the culture?

 

This is the hardest AND the easiest part of all. Just have a relationship that is strong enough where you can talk to your partner about your deepest fantasies without judgement, and having both partners agree that it is something that they would be interested in pursuing. Have enough love, trust and respect to minimize any potential jealousy and know that it is JUST sex. You are not leaving without the other. Neither of you are looking for a 'replacement' and you are doing this together. That this is just a 'bonus' to your relationship and not anything more than that. That if either of you wants to stop, you both will stop without hesitation, no repercussions, and no looking back. That this is a 'team activity' and the two of you form that team.

 

Once you have the relationship strong enough for this, then all you have to do is find another person or couple (whatever the desire may be) and enjoy yourselves. In most cases, even same room sex constitutes as swinging (or at least it's the 'gateway' to swinging) since the vast majority of couples never even get this far.

 

Hope that answers most of your questions. LUK if you have any more or need any further info.

[Valerie123 15]

Hello to all. I am a college student doing a sociology project on swinging. I posted questions on here a couple of days ago and now I have some more. This is 100% voluntary and I will not expose your identity in any way. I also will not judge so answer as freely as you wish.

 

1. What is the origin of the particular culture (locally or globally)? If you know it.

 

2. How large is the culture? Is it bound to particular geographical sites as in location?

 

3. Do members of the culture dress in a particular way?

 

4. Do members of the culture engage in rituals of any sort? If so, what are the rituals and what do they mean?

 

5. What are the goals of the culture? If any.

 

6. Are there any rules particular to the culture? Do members often break the rules?

 

 

Thank you so much for your time!

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

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1. What is the origin of the particular culture (locally or globally)? If you know it.

 

From Wikipedia:

 

According to Terry Gould's The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers, swinging began among American Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II before pilots left for overseas duty. The mortality rate of pilots was so high, as Gould reports, that a close bond arose between pilot families that implied that pilot husbands would care for all the wives as their own – emotionally and sexually – if the husbands were lost. Though the origins of swinging are contested, it is assumed American swinging was practiced in some American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs.

 

Although swinging has been around (IMHO) for YEARS before this. The Bible even has stories about one husband and multiple wives so it's been around since biblical times. So far, however, there hasn't been a definitive 'origin' story as to when it started.

 

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2. How large is the culture? Is it bound to particular geographical sites as in location?

 

Once again, firm numbers are not known however it is suspected to be approx. 2-4 percent of the population...much higher if you include people who would LIKE to swing but don't have a strong enough relationship to consider even suggesting it to their partner.

 

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According to 2005 estimates by the Kinsey Institute and others, swingers account for 1 in 3 married couples with numbers in excess of 4 million people in North America. As of 2011, some experts believe that there are as many as 15 million Americans swinging on a regular basis.

 

Wikipedia

 

One in three married couples...don't think so. Maybe one in three would like to consider trying it...

 

This is a world wide phenomenon.

 

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3. Do members of the culture dress in a particular way?

 

At first most seem to dress upscale casual. After all, the goal is to eventually be not dressed at all

 

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4. Do members of the culture engage in rituals of any sort? If so, what are the rituals and what do they mean?

 

Not even going to touch this question. There's too many 'variations' to even try, but swinging includes everything from 'same room sex' to 'full swap' and everything in between...I would guess that those things are considered 'rituals'?

 

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5. What are the goals of the culture? If any.

 

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People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Many cite the increased quality, quantity, and frequency of sex. Some people may engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or due to their curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship. Others regard such activities as merely a social and recreational interaction with others.

 

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60% said that swinging improved their relationship...Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier. 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them...Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins.

 

Wikipedia

 

Goal: to have fun? To know that you have a relationship that is so strong that you can live out your fantasies with your partner. To become closer to your partner. To add that extra bit of excitement to an already great relationship. To take trust and sharing to the extreme. To be able to actually do and enjoy what most other people can't even talk about doing with their partner.

 

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6. Are there any rules particular to the culture? Do members often break the rules?

 

'Rules' are usually set by the couples or individuals. While there are numerous rules and variations of those rules set, the 'bigger' rules are:

 

Don't violate another couples or individuals personal rules

Treat everyone with respect

Move at a speed that the slowest person in the group is comfortable with

No pressure

This is not about finding a 'replacement' for your partner

Honesty is a requirement

No means absolutely not

 

Breaking rules is actually a violation of trust. People who break the rules are usually rather quickly 'out of the game'.

 

I'm sure that I missed more than a few things and others will fill in what I left out. Hope this helps you along and you eventually post the result of your project.