Penis size - Not your average question

[Guest luvin eye full]

So I have been looking through the posts and see a lot of the "does size matter?", so I did some googling on it and found some rather disturbing posts about men wanting to commit suicide over it.

 

Some already sadly have done just that, from what I could find these guys were still over 3.5 long - yes it’s smaller the average but Gee wiz taking your own life.

 

Anyway they say that many more men have died because of the size thing then they know because no one has really done any studies on this.

 

So my question is how the hell did we get to this?

 

I see on this site some posters have said a big dick was life changing and others go on about more. Their husbands don’t seem to mind.

 

This makes me think that the thinking behind a true swingers mindset must have some type of safety switch or something, and why can we not find their thought pattern and use it to help so many of these guys out there?

 

For me I don’t want to see one more of these guys die because of some thing they can not do anything about. (well I don’t want any one to die for anything)

 

What are your thoughts?

[JandKinBoise 858]

Sex is a central part of our life. If a person is hypersexual and under endowed, it can cause a crippling mental health issue.

 

There was a time, Victorian age maybe, where a large dick was seen as a sign of stupidity. Maybe but I bet those dumb asses were still getting more of that nasty dark age trim.

When I was in middle school, I would shower after PE as privately as possible without gaining attention for it as some did. I made every mistake as an early teen, the growth years. I wore very tight pants and underwear, and I started smoking at 13.

 

The result was a less than average size dick on a guy that oozes sex.

 

I've been told that my confidence and cockiness gives the impression that I am well hung. So imagine the surprise of the unlucky recipients. (Of which there have been very few)

 

Lastly, I'm bi, I was cheating on my wife with men. None of which, by the way, ever commented on my size. One of these guys talked me into joining him and his wife in bed. I resisted for a long time but he caught me at a time of weakness one day and I caved. When I took off my pants, she just said 'wow, that's really small'. Nice.

 

If you think I didn't want to die, think again.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

I was married for over 20 years and really didn't get a chance to 'compare' sizes with other men. I always thought that I was 'average' (which, I actually am). After the divorce I started meeting other women and kept hearing about how big I was (I'm not, just average). I don't know if it was actual size or technique, but I'm betting on technique. It's not the size of the wand, but the skill of the magician.

 

It is sad that the perception of size has come to matter so much, but it's not just size that gets compared...it's what car you drive, where you live, how much you make, etc. There's always going to be someone with more than you have. Secret is to be happy with what you got.

[Guest luvin eye full]

Thanks for your replies.

 

I'm just on half a foot as well lol (if am asked I always say half a foot and no it does not happen that often lol)

 

So these guys that I'm talking about are so down hearted that it's leading to some really bad thoughts and for many isolation, which makes it worse.

 

So when your girls do a bigger guy what is it that makes you still confident? I think the guys with size problems (for lack of a better word) really need to change their thought pattern.

 

For some reason I think it really important they do - I just don't want one of my relos or anyone really taking their lives because of this.

 

I think that there is someone for everyone out there and these guys just need to find their match - but I think they get talked into a lot of these feelings -

 

So if you have any "coping" thoughts maybe that would be a good place to start.

 

Once again thanks to those that have posted so far.

[biAnon 15]

Hi luvin eye full

 

It really just a matter of perspective. If your penis is long enough to reach your body, it's long enough.

 

That being said, it seems all guys at some point compare themselves to others - initially to see if they "normal" or average. It's when we find ourselves coming up "short" that we begin to obsess. It doesn't help matters that guys don't usually see other guys naked when they are hard. There are "growers" and there are "show-ers." When erect, there isn't that much difference in penis size, but if you are small when flaccid (a grower) and you see a guy next to you in the locker room who is sporting 6 inches when soft - it's rather difficult to shrug that off. Also, no matter how long one's dick is, we all want at least one more inch.

 

Of course, the problem is often compounded by those who are well endowed - and know it. When they notice the "respect" of other guys, sometimes it goes to their heads (pardon the pun) and they begin to tease the less fortunate. That makes you really self-conscious and you learn to turn away and hide yourself. I, myself, was teased (a grower, but I later learned I was really average length when I sported wood) and as a result tried to avoid showers after gym class (fortunately I didn't have any sweat related body-odour issues). I have since gotten over it, and can shower at the gym - I don't even rush to cover myself up with a towel anymore. Even though guys turn me on too, I can manage to avoid an erection in the change room.

 

And speaking of the "respect" guys have for other guys with large dicks, when I was in grade 6, I went in the washroom one day and there were a bunch of guys gathered around the sink. One guy (an "early bloomer") had his cock laid out on the counter, being measured. He was thick and measured 10 inches long! I would have liked to get closer for a good look but was afraid of appearing "queer." All the other guys were saying, "Wow" and their admiration was obvious. Somehow it was "not gay" for them all to be staring at his cock. I later heard that he made some porn videos when he was in high school.

 

Another factor involved in comparisons is foreskin and pubic hair. I was a "late bloomer" and couldn't help but notice other teens (who had reached puberty) and grown men had noticeable bush while I did not. Also, many had foreskin covering their knobs, whereas I did not. This was before I understood anything about puberty or circumcision and made me feel different. Was not sure what to think about the vein along the top of my dick either. Along with the size issue, I found myself staring at as many naked men as I could to understand what "normal" was. Now I am really turned on by muscular guys with dense pubic bush, generous foreskin, and a nice thick cock (7" would be plenty). I guess we are attracted to what we don't have ourselves. I find women attractive too - I fell in love and married one - but decades in a sexless marriage has taken its toll and I find myself fantasizing more about men. I would love to take part in a MMF three-way but my wife would never go for it. She isn't even interested sexually in one man, let alone two.

 

One other thought, I was first introduced to porn by an older brother. I was all excited about the chance of seeing a woman naked and didn't know what to expect. I knew men had a dick (didn't yet know it was properly called a penis), and was familiar with my own, but girls were a mystery. Not sure what I was going to see, but all they seemed to have down there was some bush. I was disappointed. I didn't realize their "parts" were inside, and my brother didn't think to tell me. Neither did I know that the dick was designed to go inside to play (or that sex led to pregnancy). I was woefully ignorant. All I had heard up to that point was that sex was "dirty" and "disgusting." No one clarified that sex within marriage was (supposed to be) the most fantastic, intimate pleasures one could share.

 

I wonder how my life would have turned out if I knew way back then what I know now.

[biAnon 15]

Hi JandKinBoise,

 

Not sure if the clothing had much to do with your penis size, and while smoking can be a factor, I don't think it affects length that much (it would take decades), so don't beat yourself up about it. It's most probably genetic, and there's no up-side to worrying about something completely beyond your control. There are worse things than having a smaller dick - one could be a really big asshole.

 

I can identify with being Bi, and I can certainly understand the urge to cheat on your wife with men (assuming you're not getting any at home). Not encouraging infidelity, but I get that you have sexual needs (as I do) and I share your desire for men.

 

That woman in the 3-way who insulted you is an ignorant, insensitive cow. You're not alone in your response, though. I'd feel like wanting to crawl under a rock too. A good friend of mine had the opposite experience. He was invited to join a buddy and the guy's girlfriend and his friend said, "Wow, you have a big dick!" (He's just over 7 thick inches. He told me but won't let me see for myself )

 

Such a shame men all can't be the same size - proportional to height for example: 5' gets a 5 incher, 7' gets a 7 incher. In the locker room, there would still be a size difference, but there would be no stigma attached to it. As it is, we are all uniquely different. Some have bigger noses, ears, and a fortunate percentage have bigger Peters. Life is not always equal, or fair, but we all have to learn to accept what life has dealt us and make the best of it. We can all choose to focus on the good things in our lives and make the best of the opportunities and abilities that we have been blessed with.

[Guest luvin eye full]

Thanks for the post BiAnon

 

I know many SO's work with their bf to make everything work out and that's great

 

But the guys i found in the googleing on this were way past talking too - they are ready to end it all over this.

 

So really the mind set of under average and how they cope with to days bigger is better mentality is what we need to look at I think,

 

For me being right on half a foot long (with a upward curve) is not a problem in yes, there are bigger, but I have found that while they are a chick magnet that all seems to die off quickly as well. (I think some girls just want to say yes I did the monster lol)

 

I have been in many 3somes and gangbangs where the bigger guys were told no and the average guys were told ok. I think on a whole I got more anal sex - hell I have been asked to do that DP where the guy was bigger and his GF told him no way lol. So for my way of thinking it evens out the right tool for the right job so to say.

 

But these guys (the ones that started this post) are saying "mate, you're nearly twice my size, what the hell do you know about it?" and the truth is I don't know how or if anyone can help get them out of this thought that their lives as men are over.

 

Any thought on how to help would be great.

 

Regards.

[GoNatural 104]

Luvin eye full, it almost sounds like you know someone that ended their life over size disappointment. I've learned just a little about this issue by reading the forum r/smalldickproblems on Reddit. I was curious about that forum after getting a Peyronies injury and losing a half inch of length and girth. I was someone that hated my average penis size, then lost size to an injury. How ironic......

 

I'm also heteroflexible and have received penetration with a penis. I'm definitely a size queen as well, but have been surprised by a couple of 5 inch penises that felt very good.

 

I don't have some life changing advice for men with less than 5 inches, but I have a few pointers. First, my last long-term girlfriend left me for a trans male person that doesn't have a penis. She was a size queen that I used bigger dildos on to give her that full feeling. Her trans male partner swapped his average 5 inch strapon for a very girthy 7.5 incher, and they work things out. A guy with a very small penis can include toys too. I know this saddens or even angers some un-hung guys, but it is true.

 

There's a movie titled Headwig and the Angry Inch about someone that cuts off most of their penis, then has to make their sex life work out after that while having just a stub.

 

When it comes down to it, there's multiple ways to still provide penetration. Penetration isn't everything, but it is why most small guys feel doomed. So solving the penetration obstacle makes sense to me.

[luvin eye full 140]

Luvin eye full, it almost sounds like you know someone that ended their life over size disappointment. I've learned just a little about this issue by reading the forum r/smalldickproblems on Reddit. I was curious about that forum after getting a Peyronies injury and losing a half inch of length and girth. I was someone that hated my average penis size, then lost size to an injury. How ironic......

 

I'm also heteroflexible and have received penetration with a penis. I'm definitely a size queen as well, but have been surprised by a couple of 5 inch penises that felt very good.

 

I don't have some life changing advice for men with less than 5 inches, but I have a few pointers. First, my last long-term girlfriend left me for a trans male person that doesn't have a penis. She was a size queen that I used bigger dildos on to give her that full feeling. Her trans male partner swapped his average 5 inch strapon for a very girthy 7.5 incher, and they work things out. A guy with a very small penis can include toys too. I know this saddens or even angers some un-hung guys, but it is true.

 

There's a movie titled Headwig and the Angry Inch about someone that cuts off most of their penis, then has to make their sex life work out after that while having just a stub.

 

When it comes down to it, there's multiple ways to still provide penetration. Penetration isn't everything, but it is why most small guys feel doomed. So solving the penetration obstacle makes sense to me.

 

Hey

 

So this is old now but i did not see your post until now.

 

No don't no any one that has wanted to take there life over this, just what i found on a site that made me google it and oh man the stories where bad-

having said that i do know of two guys that will not let talking to a girl get any where near having sex with them. ( dating and so on )

 

It's a real lonely life for them and i do think there are a lot more guys like this out there ( sadly )

I agree with what you and others are saying - i just do not know how to convey that to these guys in any meaningful way as to help them - and that's why i asked here because as swingers we have over come many body issues.

 

I think when i boil it right down, i think every one should at lest be able to look for and find love ( if they want it ) and i see this body issue as something " ( for lack of a better word ) evil" because it stops them dead in there tracks.

[Guest]

I once read a news paper that said suicide in young men aged between 18-35 is one of the biggest killers.

 

Things like heart problems / car crashes was ranked higher, but by all account the third biggest killer of young men is suicide which I found really surprising.

 

My honest guess is that a lot of those young men who commit suicide have below average penis sizes.

 

However.....

 

I know in the UK if your approach your doctor and tell them you are having suicidal feelings related to your penis size then in a lot of cases (if your persistent) then the NHS will preform penis extension / penis enlargement surgery for free.

 

You can also find private health clinics who charge anywhere from about £1'500 to £5'000 for enlargement surgeries.

 

In fairness if someone did have a very small penis, for example 1,2,3 inch then they could simply work hard / save up, and within maybe 6 months saving could afford the surgery.

 

I mean okay you would probably need 3 or 4 weeks off work after, and it might take 6 months to fully recover but in the long run their penis would be bigger.

 

Women get their breasts done / face lifts / lip surgery and so on, men could simply do the same.

[Napoleon 230]

That's crazy, I'm not bent out of shape about my penis size.

 

And yes penis size does matter. The look, tightness, lack of tightness, and smell of a vagina does matter also.

 

I've had sex with a lot of women and all vaginas are not attractive looking and can be way too loose to please myself and the woman. A few times after myself and the woman took off our clothes I immediately put my clothes back on. Bad smelling or ugly looking vaginas, or something else about her body completely turned me off. Many women look good in clothes but once their clothes come off it can be the totally opposite.

[couplers 4,614]

... There was a time, Victorian age maybe, where a large dick was seen as a sign of stupidity...

That rumor was started by guys with small penises. Or maybe by a dumb guy about the nerds.

[HotEllie 87]

couplers said:

That rumor was started by guys with small penises. Or maybe by a dumb guy about the nerds.

Not true:

 

In his play The Clouds (c. 419–423 BC), ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes summed up the ideal traits of his male peers as “a gleaming chest, bright skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks, and a little prick.”

 

http://https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-ancient-greek-sculptures-small-penises

[HotEllie 87]

That's crazy, I'm not bent out of shape about my penis size.

 

And yes penis size does matter. The look, tightness, lack of tightness, and smell of a vagina does matter also.

 

I've had sex with a lot of women and all vaginas are not attractive looking and can be way too loose to please myself and the woman. A few times after myself and the woman took off our clothes I immediately put my clothes back on. Bad smelling or ugly looking vaginas, or something else about her body completely turned me off. Many women look good in clothes but once their clothes come off it can be the totally opposite.

 

That is what tequila is for. LOL

 

Lord knows that the sober me has wondered what in the hell I was thinking the night before...

[Napoleon 230]

That is what tequila is for. LOL

 

Lord knows that the sober me has wondered what in the hell I was thinking the night before...

 

Yep.

[Bluespruce1 706]

Wow I hate this topic, but here goes...

My husband and I have talked about this a lot along with many of our lifestyle friends. I made the mistake of telling my husband a few years back that he was the smallest of all of my partners. Truth - his penis is statistically average or maybe a bit below - honestly I have no idea. It just happened that most my partners had bigger cocks. No big deal to me and honestly I never really thought about it, but it was a major deal to him so I felt the need to really talk it out since I opened Pandora's box. I tried to relate to him and put it like this - we go to nude beaches, nude resorts and play with a lot of couples and singles. I have seen and played with many naked men. Do I like the way a fit guy looks with a thick, long well-shaped shaped penis - hell yes. Do I like the way a fit guy looks with a smaller well-shaped penis with a tight set of balls - hell yes - actually the second one a little better TBH. As far as sex goes, I think it's like explaining the difference between a well oiled perfect handjob, a long slow blow job with lots of attention to every part, and a nice long penetration session. Each feels amazing and ends with an incredible climax - but each is unique and special in its own way. Do I love the way a long hard thick cock feels as my pussy relaxes, accepts it and it slides all the way in - hell yes. Do I love the way an average sized cock feels as it enters and hits my spot with a nice swollen head - hell yes. Do I love the way a smaller cock feels as it rubs my opening, my clitoris and slides inside me with balls pressed against me - hell yes. Can I climax, and quiver and even squirt a little from each - hell yes. Does each feel different - absolutely. Is one orgasm better than the other- absolutely not. Am I more concerned about the mans passion, attentiveness to me and his stamina - absolutely. Do I love seeing or feeling the cum flow from any shape or sized cock knowing that I helped make that happen - absolutely. Every cock is unique - every one is special. The only thing that matters is having a partner that is willing to give every inch of themselves to me to pleasure and enjoy. I hope this helps guys - your cocks are amazing. Whip.them.out, get them hard and make somebody happy! Keep it clean, keep it groomed and keep it hard!

[jeff111 44]

Thanks Bluespruce. That’s probably the best post on this topic ever and possibly the best post on this or any other board!!!

 

What you’ve said probably covers the thoughts of 98% of women.

 

Even if we’ve got a decent or large cock, we’re aware of someone with a monster Cock and we think, how can mine satisfy after that? I think you’ve definitively answered that question now.

 

Thank you.

[couplers 4,614]

Not true:

 

In his play The Clouds (c. 419–423 BC), ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes summed up the ideal traits of his male peers as “a gleaming chest, bright skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks, and a little prick.”

 

Thanks for the post. Very interesting.

[discreetplay 235]

This is more info than anyone needs on the size topic.

 

Table of Contents (penissizedebate.com)

 

 

 

 

[couplers 4,614]

On 9/5/2019 at 10:34 PM, Bluespruce1 said:

Each feels amazing and ends with an incredible climax - but each is unique and special in its own way. Do I love the way a long hard thick cock feels as my pussy relaxes, accepts it and it slides all the way in - hell yes. Do I love the way an average sized cock feels as it enters and hits my spot with a nice swollen head - hell yes. Do I love the way a smaller cock feels as it rubs my opening, my clitoris and slides inside me with balls pressed against me - hell yes. Can I climax, and quiver and even squirt a little from each - hell yes.

Great observations.  Although a dick that is too long can hurt in my pussy, it's ok in my bum; and while I won't take a dick that is too thick in my bum it feels great in my pussy.  A small dick can be great as well, a lot of the sensation and pleasure for me during regular intercourse is right at the entrance of my vagina and it's fun working it to orgasm. 

Edited November 14, 2021 by couplers