Sex - Do you have an age limit?

[mde 4764 15]

When you're looking for a couple to play with, do you have an age limit on the couples you'll play with or does it matter?

[hfire269 16]

We have an age limit. No older than 35:-) The reason behind that id because my parents are in their early 40's and the thought of swinging with some one thier age is just werid..LOL :-)

hfire269(female half)

[jcbicouple 24]

We don't have an "age limit" on the high end, although we tend to prefer people that are close to our age. On the low end, we definitely avoid anyone under 21, and find that we prefer that they are at least 25 or so. More of a maturity thing than an age thing. (Before we get killed here....we're not saying that all people in their early 20s are imature. LOL) Having an attraction, and being able to hold a conversation is more important to us than age.

[cpl4friends 15]

We would prefer someone closer to our ages, but find that almost impossible. We are 22 and 23 so we are the young immature ones. :-P at jcbicouple. Actually we have found that those that are our age get on our nerves. late 20's is fine, but we have found that most couples are 33 +

 

D

[BiloxiCouple 695]

We have to be comfortable with you. Age hasn't normally been an issue.

[leftcoastcouple 32]

Though we've yet to actually hook up with a couple, this has been a major part of our discussions about what we seek in another couple.

 

She's 38 and I am 40, and we basically feel that 45 or so is the high end for couples we'd consider. As I get older, I'm finding older women sexier and sexier--and until recently, I took major crap from my friends for checking out nothing but girls many years younger than me!. But my wife says anyone old enough to make her feel like she's screwing her dad (roughly 50) is out of the question (which forces me to remind her that several of her favorite actors fall into that category!).

 

We'd probably go as high as 50, but it would really depend on the couple. This is partly based on the fact that we appear much younger than we are. People tend to think we're in our early 30s when they meet us. And we're very young in attitude, too.

 

Ironically, more than half of the folks who've responded to our AFF ad fall into the "older and looking like it" category, even though we specify our preferences clearly in our profile.

[fun_pairTX 26]

Our limit is a low limit, generally we don't play with people under 30 unless there is an immediate chemical connection, it doesn't happen often but it does happen. We are 40 and 49 and like people between our ages in general, but there are always exceptions. We have nothing against the under 30 crowd, but our two oldest are 22 and 21 and that is getting awfully close for our weird zone. Also at 49 I generally like women that are built for comfort as opposed to speed. I would like to get to be 50 some day LOL.

[marknliz 15]

We're both 43 and sure enough, the couples we are attracted to are in the 30-50 yr old range, and the closer they are to being in their early 40's, the more we like 'em.

 

It is not so much a matter of physical attraction as it is finding common ground to relate to each other.

 

We've come out to a very few close friends and associates that had already accepted us for who we are, rather than who they expect or want us to be.

 

We've asked them, "What do you think the first thing swingers talk about when they're getting acquainted?". "Wild exotic unbridled sex, duh!", is the usual naive answer.

 

Then we surprise them with this revelation: "No, we talk about our children first, THEN we talk about sex, if it even gets around to that".

 

But that's just us .... Mark'n'Liz in KCMO

[CoupleOfC's 18]

We don't necessarily have a hard and fast number on either side that we won't cross, but we definitely have preferences. On the low side 22-23 , and on the high side 33-34 is the range we look for. For us I think it comes down to two things....people within that range tend to 1) Look more like us physically and 2) Have more in common with us socially. Keep in mind that I'm 28 and she's 27. We've met exceptions on both sides of that range, in general most of the people we "click" with fall there.

 

 

Chris

[Tanman aka Mike and Marie 16]

We are 42 and 43 and generally when we are "seeking" other couples for fun we look for others reasonably close to our age (within 7 years older or younger).

 

But we have had brief encounters with younger couples that were a LOT of FUN !

 

Keep an open mind ............

[Brit_Pair 62]

We're mid thirties, and while we don't have a hard floor or ceiling on ages, we generally confine our searches to people 10 years either side of us. That's the bracket we just happen to feel most comfortable operating within.

[biblonde 22]

we are both 37...on the low end i am not to interested in too young..maybe mid 20's. On the high end dont really want to go over 50. But all the couples we have seen have been 47 so i guess that is our lucky number!! lol

[the2stars 15]

Well it seems the age range for the couple is about 10 either way...

Any younger than the 10 yr difference for younger is the we do not have much in common with them. About a 12 yr difference is as far as we have done ,but other 1/2 was older then the other by 8 yrs.

As far as older than us? Well, we do go 15 yrs older than us.We tend to have always had friends older than us. Our everyday

life is made up of friends who are generally older than us.

 

You do have to click with the other couple no matter what the age difference is.

The "KEY" is personality!!!!!

[Houmacpl 15]

We have no hard set limit either... mostly just who we're comfortable with. But seeing as our ages are so different (19 and 33) it would be kind of odd to set a 10 or even 15 year difference rule, when we're 14 yrs apart. Usually, our couples are between 25 and 35, but that's just how it works out, few fems my age are able to... "get it" and few women older than that i'm attracted to (is anyone else slightly more picky about women than men?) The only really *hard* limit is 18, because even though the age of consent is 16 in louisiana, 17 in texas, its just too much risk with him that much older, plus, it would be strange to have someone who still lived with her parents.

 

Chloe

[DeesireCpl 15]

We do have an age group we prefer but depending on the couple or the single it all depends on maturity , looks and personality. We usually play with couples 25-45 and we are comfortable within those ages. Any younger or older for us is really not appealing but we have had the odd exception usually the younger side of it not the older.

Mr Deesire & Deesire

[OhioCouple 41]

We generally tend to gravitate to those that are socially compatible with us. As we choose to make friends with our play mates, we have found that those in the 40 plus group better fit our requirements. I'm not saying that someone younger may not, however most younger couples don't have the same life experiences that we have had and we need to share more than just sex. It's pretty awesome when you can get together with your swing friends and there doesn't have to be an expectation of swinging. We just enjoy each other's company. That's what works for us anyway.

[darling 17]

We prefer 10 years either side if our age of 41. I think a lot of it has to be with same interests also.

[Alura 2,775]

There is a fifteen year difference between our ages. Maybe that's why we don't set age restrictions. Who knows who we may meet?

 

Come to think of it, though, over the past 23 years we've had five partner-couples, all of whose ages fell between ours at the time. As we have aged, so have our playmates.

 

Mr. Alura

[Elusive BiFem 70]

It strikes me that almost everyone has an age limit for those they feel most comfortable with. For most social interactions, including but not limited to swinging, I really prefer people close to my own age. That isn't to say that younger people...even really young people ...aren't super and terrific and valuable. They are! However, I simply have more in common with those in my age group. Music, life experiences, goals...all those sorts of things...energy levels.

 

I have some much, much younger "friends." Probably more along the lines of casual acquaintances...and I can enjoy socializing with them for short periods of time, but then I want to go find my "own people." And I'm certain my younger friends are about ready to get rid of me at the same time!

 

Would I respond to an e-mail from a younger couple? Yes...I would politely decline any invitation. Would I e-mail a younger couple? No.

 

- EBF

[BettyAnnMBSC 24]

I'm 26 and he's 41. We've got a pretty wide age range already. His oldest is almost 22 and often calls me "mommy" - now that's "wierdness feeling".

 

We've never set an age limit other than the 18 year old minimum. Most often, couples we play with are closer to his age than mine but there have been more than a few in the low 20s range.

 

Generally, if I bring home a playmate it's someone pretty close to my age and if he brings home a playmate it's someone close to his. That has more to do with who we each know.

 

We've only met one other couple with a similar age range to both of us (15 years apart). It seems we're meeting more 30 something couples now than we were when I was 18-21.

 

Attraction wise, for us it's more about personality and lifestyle choices than about looks or age. We're not stoners or heavy drinkers so that crowd holds little interest for us. We enjoy the symphony and ballet - and that crowd tends to be a bit older in general.

[gsu22 187]

I've just recently become involved with a couple.....we're in the very early stages of everything....anyways they're both 31 and I'm 22. And I love it!!!! When I first set out looking for a couple, my first thought was a couple that was a little older than me......... around 30 or so and I happened to hit exactly what I was looking for!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Not physically but mentally yes....lol. Mental age determines a lot more... so many people neither look nor act their age (I like those people...lol). Others look and act much older than they really are.

[YoungCoupleInMinneapolis 15]

Its real simple. If they appear closer to our parents age than ours, we shy away. There isn't much worry about finding younger couples, (in fact, I wish that WAS a worry- we're both 24,) so looking up, if they could've gone to high school with mom n' dad, it just doesn't feel right. I guess that puts the age limit at approximately 15 years older, give or take. Of course, finding a couple with like interests and instant chemistry overrules any age limits......

[js2sm 15]

My husband and I have never swung, but would like too soon, but I think that when we get into it our age group will also depend on personality. I wouldn't want to be with an 18 year old that still acts like a high schooler or a 35 year old that acts like she has one foot in the grave already, so it would really depend. We would like to find someone that is attractive to both of us and right now given that we are both 25, generally it seems to be females in there 20s or early 30s.

[nc_couple_28304 18]

Most of the cples we meet our older than us, we are 27 & 28, and we prefer it that way, as we seem to find that we have more in common with cples older than us then we do with people younger than us. Our maximum is about 40 and Our mini is 25.

 

We set our minimum to 25 after having several bad encounters with cples that were in the 21-24 age range.

[thump29 16]

I am 26 and my husband is 30. We usually go no younger than 25 and no older than 46, although we prefer older couples because we seem to have more in common with them rather than younger couples or people our own age.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie

Not physically but mentally yes....lol. Mental age determines a lot more... so many people neither look nor act their age (I like those people...lol). Others look and act much older than they really are.

I love this answer and that's what we would say. We don't have any absolute age limits. If we hit it off with someone and are attracted to them, we're not going to get hung up on age (as long as they're adults, of course, )

 

-B

[js2sm 15]

Since I have yet to have my first experience with another woman or a threesome, could you guys give me the heads up as to why it is easier with older people, or what kinds of problems you have had in the past with people in their early 20s? Thanks!

[Elusive BiFem 70]

Originally posted by js2sm

Since I have yet to have my first experience with another woman or a threesome, could you guys give me the heads up as to why it is easier with older people, or what kinds of problems you have had in the past with people in their early 20s? Thanks!

 

I don't think it is necessarily "easier with older people" or that people have had problems with people in their 20's, but more along the lines of common interest factors. For many of us, there is more to the lifestyle than just the purely sexual aspects.

 

Additionally, for many younger people, the idea of sex with people old enough to be their parents is an immediate turn-off, and the same holds true for older people. As you read through this thread, you will see that most people prefer others about 10 years on either side of their own ages...and of course, there are always exceptions. Nothing is written in stone. As you read through the various forums, you will find several threads on age differences and the reasons people prefer one age group to another.

- EBF

[nc_couple_28304 18]

Originally posted by js2sm

Since I have yet to have my first experience with another woman or a threesome, could you guys give me the heads up as to why it is easier with older people, or what kinds of problems you have had in the past with people in their early 20s? Thanks!

 

I can only speak for our experiences and choices...but we prefer cples our age or older due to the following..Hubby and i have been married for 10yrs, we have a 9 yr old and a 6 yr old...I am 27 & he is 28... We have found that a lot of the cples we have met that are 25 or younger.. Have not been together as long and have children that are a lot younger than ours or just none at all, however cples out age or older we just seem to have more things in common with.

 

As far as experiences, to name a few, one younger cple we were with ended up very badly...The wife half ended up getting very possesive as if myself (female half) and I were dating.

 

The second couple we met, proceeded to want to walk hand in hand with hubby, and ended up very possessive with hubby.

 

All of the couple were 21 & 22, had not been together very long and were really new to the experience themselves...Now i am not trying to accuse all cples of being that way...We have just not have any of these problems with cples our age or older.

[gsu22 187]

I've always wanted older women just because of their maturity level as opposed to women my age or alittle younger. I consider myself very mature for being 22 and a guy. Most of the guys my age are the typical "frat boy" types with egos the size of Texas and maturity levels that equal a 4 year-old. Well, atleast around here they're like that.

 

And I know women mature faster than guys and I have met numerous women my age that are very down to earth and mature but I'll still stick with the older ones. I just find women about 8-10 years older than me a major turn-on. But like EBF said, nothing is written in stone......so the possibilites can be endless in some cases.

[StacyCat 30]

Guys my age tend to annoy the hell out of me.

 

Im 22. My last lover was 37. But, he acted like a 25 year old and looked 32ish, so it wasnt too bad. both men in my close poly family are 38 and 39, and one looks too much like my dad to be intimate with, the other I havent decided on.

 

I tend to date 25-32ish. Couples have to have been together and stable for a while, otherwise it brings up problems.

 

No hard and fast rules other than no one over 40, and no one under 18.

[Tanman aka Mike and Marie 16]

Just had some "fun" Saturday night outside of the "age norm" for both of us (older) and had more fun than I can ever remember having :) . We are going to see them again, probably spend a Saturday night with them in a couple of weeks:kiss:

 

Keep an open mind, glad we did!

 

Originally posted by Tanman aka Mike and Marie

We are 42 and 43 and generally when we are "seeking" other couples for fun we look for others reasonably close to our age (within 7 years older or younger).

 

But we have had brief encounters with younger couples that were a LOT of FUN !

 

Keep an open mind ............

[yawanna 17]

. both men in my close poly family are 38 and 39, and one looks too much like my dad to be intimate with, the other I havent decided on.

 

 

This confused me.. isn't a poly family one in which there is more than one primary emotionally and sexually intimate relationship?

 

Or are you the product of a poly family?

 

[cntrycpl505 15]

we have not met a lot of couples but tend to look for our age and above we are 47 & 48 we just have more in common I think

[BiCoupleNJ 15]

Originally posted by yawanna

This confused me.. isn't a poly family one in which there is more than one primary emotionally and sexually intimate relationship?

 

Yawanna,

 

What if she is emotionally & sexually intimate with the wives of the two men she mentioned in the post?

 

As for the original post, we tend to put an upper limit on the age of the people we meet. Don't ask why, but there seems to be some sort of a mental block we have when it comes to the number '50'! It isn't that they remind me of my parents (66 & 64), but something clicks deep inside when we hear '50'.

 

We HAVE broken that rule on occasion and we have typically been very happy when we did. But we have also had some less than stellar experiences with couples over 50. Maybe it is because so many people think we are so much younger looking. I dunno!

[yawanna 17]

What if she is emotionally & sexually intimate with the wives of the two men she mentioned in the post?

 

That's lesbians in open relationships

[Dani&Drew 15]

Age never bother me, but Dani prefers to keep things under 40 or so. My own opinion is, if you like each other, who cares the age?

[BiCoupleNJ 15]

We can see both sides of that coin... there are times when a person that is older, say in their 50s or perhaps even older, just doesn't seem that old, both in looks and attitude. In that case, we tend to ignore our thoughts about age and simply enjoy ourselves.

However, there are times when, quite frankly, people in their 30s and 40s... and at times in their 20s... look as if they have been through several wars in that short time. At those times, it is the presentation rather than the age that causes us to back away.

I guess that there is no real right or wrong when it comes to age. Although that may be used as an initial indicator for a go/no go decision, one might find that they lost out on the best relationship they could have had by allowing age to be a determining factor. It is just like looks & weight - a person may not be beautiful and may not be slim & petite, but that doesn't mean they don't have a fabulous personality and an incredible sense for great sex.

Jerry

[Greg & Sheryl 369]

We are in an unusual situation in that there is a 12-year difference in our ages. Greg turned 37 in November, while Sheryl will be 49 in February. Although it’s rare for Greg to be dismissed as too young for other swingers, Sheryl is often regarded as too old. Sometimes, we’re both considered too old! Ideally, we like to play with couples who are in between our ages. We don’t have any objection to swinging with 20-something couples, but we never approach them first because we know it’s likely we will be rejected because of our age. While Greg has no problem swinging with older ladies (after all, he married one), Sheryl is somewhat wary of playing with older men. In her experience, these men seem to have a greater degree of performance problems.

 

We’ve noticed that a lot of young couples avoid playing with older couples because they would feel like they were fucking their parents. While Greg respects this preference (even Sheryl looks at older men as “Dad”), he must admit that he doesn’t “get” this rationale. When Greg was a single college student, one of his first swinging experiences was with a 40-something couple who answered his ad in a regional swingers’ magazine. Even though the wife was close to his mother’s age, he didn’t have a problem playing with the wife because she was NOT his mother. Since that time, he has discovered that older ladies tend to make better lovers by virtue of their greater experience and confidence.