Vasectomy common for swingers?

[kinksandpinks 46]

My wife and I are very new to the lifestyle and are discussing safety. I have had a vasectomy. She does not want to go on birth control and I didn't not want her to take it either. We are wondering how common it is for swinger men to get snipped. We want to avoid the risk of pregnancy should condoms fail. Are there couples who only chose men who have been snipped or is this a very limiting thing?

[Guest nakedal]

Good question I'd be interested in the answer to this one too ...

[SexyRedmondCpl 128]

I'm surgically safe, but we still always use condoms with other partners. We don't specifically seek others who have had the procedure. Not that we avoid them, it just isn't a factor we consider. That said, she uses the mirena (period free!) so pregnancy really isn't a concern for us.

[kinksandpinks 46]

She has adverse reactions to birth control so any format is out of the question. Condoms are also a must but as we all know they can break. I'm just curious if men who have had the procedure are open about it as I plan to be. Naturally, we prefer without but we feel like getting close enough to a couple to know they are safe may mean that we are too close to them. Then there is the question of oral sex. Cunnilingus isn't exactly the easiest act to be safe in. Long story short, us knowing her playmate is sterile would bring an added level of comfort.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

She should consider getting her tubes tied. We were in a similar situation. After swinging for a year I wanted to take full responsibility for myself and not have to worry if the condom broke or slipped. We still always use condoms for intercourse. Our surgical history rarely comes up with play partners.

 

If you are playing with people in their late thirties and older, probably many will have had a vasectomy. I would not necessarily believe/trust them.If someone were to tell me they had a vasectomy when we are first meeting I would take this to mean that they didn't want to use condoms. If like you they said they still wanted condoms I would be puzzled as to why they were sharing the vasectomy.

 

You can ask people whatever you want,but some people will tell you what you want to hear. Once you decide whether swinging is right for you she will probably want to get her tubes tied. In the meantime really educate yourselves on proper condom use. (putting it on right, using lube, checking that it is staying on during sex, holding it when he pulls out, etc.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

In my two+ years in the lifestyle so far, I have never seen or heard of a woman asking specifically for guys who have had a vasectomy. Whether they secretly have that requirement, but don't express it, is something I guess I can't know! I have seen profiles where the guy mentions that he is "vas safe". And while that's nice to hear, it's also not possible to know whether the guy is telling the truth about that (see funcoupledayton's comment above!).

[Guest FunintheSnow]

My husband has had a vasectomy but we carry PlanB in our bag, for me or for his partner (if she wants it) if a condom fails. It sounds like that is not an option for your wife, though.

 

There are risky aspects of the lifestyle. I find many if them exciting. Not this one, though. I like knowing that a partner is snipped but would never depend on their word.

[FreeinR50s 19]

This is interesting, the couple that we are currently getting to know specifically asked if I was surgically safe. It was not a deal breaker either way for them but it does add some more options to the play list.

 

We have never played without protection before but if everyone's tests come back clean the idea may be on the table.

[kinksandpinks 46]

A condom refresher probably wouldn't hurt. Also, her getting her tubes tied is her choice. We made the decision we made and we elected for me to get a simple day surgery rather than subject her to a fairly involved operation. For now though we will rely on condoms. Though given the choice between two guys we like one snipped and one not, we would chose the one snipped and still play safely.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

I had a vasectomy many years ago but I have never mentioned it to a playmate. No woman should put any faith in a man's declaration that he has been "fixed". This is simply a fact about which it is so very easy to lie.

[Guest]

Hubby and I are both surgically safe. We both did it before we met, before we ever thought about swinging, we are a second go around couple. It does allow you to relax a bit on the condom rules, which has been especially nice as we turn more towards sharing with friends that we know well. As a woman, I do notice the difference between a guy who has or hasn’t had a vasectomy if they cum during oral sex, both in terms of taste and quantity.

[kinksandpinks 46]

Interesting. Since I had mine it seems I start to actually ejaculate sooner into the orgasm as opposed to before when I only ejaculated during the peak of the orgasm.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think the age when couples start thinking about getting a vasectomy also coincides with about the age when most people start thinking about swinging, so there's the main reason one would do it and then maybe secondary benefits in your swinging hobby too.

 

I've seen lots of profiles where they say he has had a vasectomy, can't recall any that ask that same question.

 

Risk of pregnancy went to zero shortly after we started swinging. Even before that, we didn't take into account whether someone said they were vas safe or not as a deciding factor. We used condoms and that along with some other factors were enough to put us in our comfort zone.

 

Probably a little bit out of the ordinary for someone my age, I haven't had a vasectomy because there is no reason to other than swinging, and I'm not willing to do it just for that. We use condoms and during "the talk" before playing I still mention it. If that changes someone's mind, I don't have a problem with it at all, totally their prerogative.

[SAMnTINA 362]

Snipped long before we started swinging. Kid number three was enough for my wife, so I said yes but it still took her to schedule the procedure and I thought we were going to lunch. LOL

 

But it does have benifits now that we are swingers that were never considered back then.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Man that sucks! Did you get to have lunch in the end? This story needs a happy ending lol!

[SAMnTINA 362]

The happy ending is as swingers we have no worries about leaving any children behind, and their are many women that enjoy sex with men that are baby safe and my wife lets them know I am and that I am available to play. Not sure there is any happy ending better than that.

[older couple 132]

My wife and I started swinging early in our marriage. We weren't finished with enlarging our family, she was on the pill but it made her gain weight, and other problems. The pill isn't 100% safe. Our fourth and last baby turned out to be black. It seems antibiotics will cause the pill not to work. Wife had a sinus infection a week before meeting this man, took antibiotics and was over it just before the encounter. We thought it was mine till the little girl was born. Never regretted it though. She has been a great blessing. We had been wanting to join this one fantastic swinger club but one requirement to join was the male had to be snipped. So, not being through with having kids, I didn't want to be snipped. But after the last child was born, I got snipped mainly to get her off the birth control. Second so we could join that Swinger Club. We have made life long friends from the club, so we haven't worried about her getting pregnant and the people are disease free. We have to have a physical and blood tests ever so often to stay members and the club pays for it. She has gone through menopause so her getting preg isn't an issue now, diseases are not an issue unless it is someone outside the club then its condoms. Wife hates condoms, but sometimes a necessity evil of swinging.