What is the point in swinging if….

[Guest luvin eye full]

Does your significant other go wild with strangers more than with you?

 

There are more than a few posts around here that it seems (from the posts) that some SO’s find telling the world and their SO’s that this stranger's cock is amazing and/or the best sex they have had based on the size and skill of it, or they actively go looking for a dick that is way bigger then their SO's - what message do you send to them (your SO) and do they just say it's ok because now you have made a statement that they can never be as good as this stranger - can you tell?

 

I find this rather distasteful to say the least. I can not even think when I would ever say that a chick I had sex with was better than my own wife - different yes, better no way.

 

Also if you cannot give your SO your best performance at home then what is the problem?

 

I know many will disagree with my viewpoint and that's fine with me, but I think your sex life should be better at home by miles than with someone you may of just met.

 

Regards.

[M1F2KTJ 473]

My wife doesn't always enjoy having sex with someone new. Sometimes the experience is disappointing. Sometimes the experience is incredible. Those guys get a second or third or more invitation.

 

The sex between just the two of us alone at home has become more exciting now that she has the freedom to have sex with other men and knows how much I enjoy watching it.

 

Her having sex with other men is just something we do for fun. There is no conflict at home for us.

[machiavel55 81]

My wife doesn't always enjoy having sex with someone new. Sometimes the experience is disappointing. Sometimes the experience is incredible. Those guys get a second or third or more invitation.

 

The sex between just the two of us alone at home has become more exciting now that she has the freedom to have sex with other men and knows how much I enjoy watching it.

 

Her having sex with other men is just something we do for fun. There is no conflict at home for us.

 

It's always great to hear from a couple that has found what works best for them in the LS.

 

But respectfully M1F2KTJ, I believe that because the way you experience the LS is different from the way Luvineyefull does, what would bother him not only does not bother you, but is exactly what your couple is looking for.

[Alura 2,774]

My late wife and I divided sexual acts into two basic categories, "Fun sex" and "Making love." (We decided there was a third category,"Sex to gain power," but rejected that as immoral.)

 

"Fun Sex" we could do with other people. We laughed, joked and had explosive orgasms. Laura did wild things with play partners that never seemed appropriate when she and I made love. The ability to do that was, to us, one of the inducements of swinging.

 

When "Making Love" our spirits were delving into each others minds, our bodies were one. The expression of our love was the paramount need. It's telling, I think, that Laura and I felt the need to make love at the end of play with another couple. Making love may adequately replace fun-sex, but never the other way around.

[machiavel55 81]

My late wife and I divided sexual acts into two basic categories, "Fun sex" and "Making love." (We decided there was a third category,"Sex to gain power," but rejected that as immoral.)

 

"Fun Sex" we could do with other people. We laughed, joked and had explosive orgasms. Laura did wild things with play partners that never seemed appropriate when she and I made love. The ability to do that was, to us, one of the inducements of swinging.

 

When "Making Love" our spirits were delving into each others minds, our bodies were one. The expression of our love was the paramount need. It's telling, I think, that Laura and I felt the need to make love at the end of play with another couple. Making love may adequately replace fun-sex, but never the other way around.

 

I really like that approach.

 

If I may I have a couple of questions.

1) Did you do things with play partners that you did not do with your wife?

 

2) Can you put into words the difference between a very intense sexual encounter with a partner (where I believe there must be something very similar to passion) and the love making session with your SO?

[EastInWest 1,524]

Sex with a novel partner is always a "different" experience from sex with a familiar partner. To rip off the old line from James Bond, "not better, just different".

 

It's even hard-wired into many animals, particularly males, the Coolidge Effect: a lab animal that's just mated may lose interest in sex *with that partner*, but if presented with a new receptive partner, suddenly is ready to go again.

[Guest luvin eye full]

Hi everyone

 

Yes I think it's great when we are happy with what were are doing and I too think of sex as making love or fun sex, but there in lays my point, why would anyone in a LR want to say to their SO that someone else they only just meet is better then them - if fun sex is that just fun then what's the point - sure every playmate is different and I have had super hot chicks and chicks that can do stuff that make your eyes water but I have never had a chick that was better then my wife - different for sure fun yes but they don't even come close to my wife.

 

I think I just don't see the value in playmates some others do (I'm talking body parts - the people themselves I do see value in).

 

Regards

[Shore2Please 611]

My husband and I first swapped with a couple we met on vacation. I'm not even sure how it happened. On vacation we figured nobody would know but us. We decided, maybe I decided, to split up and go to different rooms. We had already been nude with them on a beach. That was also a first for us. I can't say he was better than my husband. I have said before that it was more than sex. He made love to me. I felt like it was great to be wanted. I won't say I did anything different. He may have done things my husband hadn't done. He felt different, he tasted different, he moved differently. There was certainly an excitement. I just felt so good and comfortable with him. The sex alone with him was really good when we were alone. When we had sex in the same room it just wasn't the same.

[Alura 2,774]

I really like that approach.

 

If I may I have a couple of questions.

1) Did you do things with play partners that you did not do with your wife?

 

2) Can you put into words the difference between a very intense sexual encounter with a partner(where I believe there must be something very similar to passion) and the love making session with your SO?

 

Thanks. Mac!

 

1. I don't think I did. I'll have to give the nod to my late wife on that one, Mac. Laura strove for perfection in whatever she did. In swinging, she was no different. She was very creative in adding "that little touch" to make the experience memorable. Laura had a really sexy thing she did when a playmate came in her mouth. She would purse her lips around the erupting head while blocking the "cream," as she called it, from going down her throat by pressing her tongue against the back of her teeth. Instead,it would ooze out around her lips. (Yes, she once explained to me in detail how she did that after I watched her do it.) She might mop an erupting head across her cheek. Then she would gulp as much of him as she could, look into her subject's eyes and suck and swallow with lust in her heart. I seldom got such theatrics. I got Laura.

 

2. One can say with a kiss, "I love you," or one can say, "I'm gonna fuck your gorgeous brains out, Doll! Hang on!" The only things similar are the energy expended and the way the mouths fit together.

[Guest]

Somewhere along the way, unbeknownst to me, hubby set up a video camera and recorded us having sex. As we watched it later, we were both surprised that we looked much better than either of us expected. In essence, there was a lot more energy and enthusiasm going into our love making than either of us thought. We were just as animated as the porn stars and viewing it, watching your partner and yourself in such an excited stage was a turn on. I view swinging similarly. To some degree, I am performing for my hubby (and others). You pick the partner, whether its an MFM, or a swap, or at a house party, you don’t know if he or she is great in the sack, better than or not as good as your spouse. It is not about that, it’s just about enjoying yourselves.

 

Certainly there are going to be those times when your partner for the night hits the right switches and your response is more intense or more wild than with your spouse. I find that he is turned on by my increased level of excitement. During a swap, he had a lady that “milked his prostrate” while she was performing oral. I don’t even know what it is or how to do it but was glad that he had experienced it. Similarly, we did an MFM with a guy with a rather large dick and I went crazy over it, both orally and then vaginally. For years I had told him size didn’t matter and afterwards was worried that size is important to men so this might have an affect. But, no, he was happy to have seen me, in his words, become a true cock slut and enjoy myself so immensely. (his humor, not mine.)

[Guest luvin eye full]

chiccouplexx

 

It's not really about the act or size - it's about the respect shown to your SO. My view is it will never matter how good some play partner is or what great body part they have, I will never tell the world on a swinging site much less to my SO that because of some genetic lottery win that they are anything but my best, most favorite and anything else I can think of. Not one play partner has even come close to my wife.

 

I find it almost repulsive that any one would even consider even thinking that their play partner somehow stacks up to my SO.

 

There is to much history for anyone to come close to her and I do not think meeting someone one night can be better...sure different, fun, exiting...but telling your SO well actually you don't stack up, no).

 

Don't get me wrong Play partners are just that and I do not and never will compare them to my SO. The play partners would lose hands down every time.

 

I understand that all partners are different and you can have wild or loving sex and have some great sex.

 

I think it is just who is more important to you - your husband and all that he has done with you for a long time or some stranger that you find the need to tell the whole world is better. I see it a a lack of respect for even comparing your SO to others.

 

When the wife has a great time that's what she says I had a great time - same as me - I have never said the chick was just the right size bla bla bla. we are there for fun time together.

 

Any way this is getting long now so I'll stop lol

 

Regards

[JandKinBoise 858]

Everyone in this LS is different. My wife, no matter how much better a lover was than me, would never say so. On the other hand, I was in a 3way for the first time with this couple several years ago. A friend and I were on his wife. As soon as I entered her, she went on a long verbal rant to her husband about how well I was fucking her, how she wished he was as good, how he would never compare to my skills. Honestly, I had never been more freaked out in my life and I had a long talk with them afterward about my feeling of this cuckold situation.

 

They assured me that it was a mutual thing and he was turned on hearing how I was better. I don't get it, but hey live and learn. Didn't matter to me, I just can't enjoy humiliation, no matter who is receiving it.

 

I think if you tell your wife your feelings, she will spare them. If she doesn't know, she may say something you don't want to hear.

[PeterJ 948]

Everyone in this LS is different. My wife, no matter how much better a lover was than me, would never say so. On the other hand, I was in a 3way for the first time with this couple several years ago. A friend and I were on his wife. As soon as I entered her, she went on a long verbal rant to her husband about how well I was fucking her, how she wished he was as good, how he would never compare to my skills. Honestly, I had never been more freaked out in my life and I had a long talk with them afterward about my feeling of this cuckold situation.

 

They assured me that it was a mutual thing and he was turned on hearing how I was better. I don't get it, but hey live and learn. Didn't matter to me, I just can't enjoy humiliation, no matter who is receiving it.

 

I think if you tell your wife your feelings, she will spare them. If she doesn't know, she may say something you don't want to hear.

 

I don't know the circumstances that led to your being in bed with this couple, but I think it would have been appropriate for them to have given you a heads up that this is how they like to play. He might have said to you "My wife and I enjoy a bit of cuck play. When she says you are great, she means it. When she starts berating my abilities to please her, that's just us playing. Are you okay with that?"

 

I play mostly with couples and it's not unusual for the man to ask his partner if she's enjoying what I'm doing with her and for the woman to express her pleasure of the moment. I look at it that I'm their guest and need to be ever so respectful of their needs in the session. I've played with couples who were into the wife's "slutiness" and I've been okay with the husband urging me to "fuck her hard now. Really pound into her!" or telling her how much he enjoys watching her "be such a slut" as long as it seems clear to me the woman is into it as well. But I've not been in a situation where either of my partners seemed to be acting in a truly nasty way to the other, making genuinely disparaging remarks or the like. If that happened I'd need to call a halt. Or at least take a long hot shower afterwards to wash away the ickiness.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Yeah I've always figured that the people who do that kind of thing (saying how much better their new lover is) are doing it with agreement of each other, like that's their kink, some like to be spanked, some like to be whipped until they bleed, it's just the hard end of the scale, it's not my thing at all and not my wife's either (hopefully haha) but hey I like things now that I never liked before so I'll never say never but for now it's a turn off, we want to meet people that love each other and openly express it in a more normal way lol

[Tadahiko 156]

But I've not been in a situation where either of my partners seemed to be acting in a truly nasty way to the other, making genuinely disparaging remarks or the like. If that happened I'd need to call a halt. Or at least take a long hot shower afterwards to wash away the ickiness.

 

I haven't had a couple criticize each other either, but I have been in a situation at a house party where a very drunk woman continually berated the other women there, telling anyone who would listen that they were all flabbier and less attractive than she was. She and her husband were asked to leave, but it still ruined everyone's evening. Her husband was definitely an old school male chauvinist, and we all wondered afterwards if her put-downs were a result of insecurity due to his attitude toward women.

[Alura 2,774]

While swinging was not involved, I have a horrific memory of a married couple whom a girlfriend and I visited, for dinner and an overnight stay. The husband never uttered a complimentary word about his wife, constantly berating her. He complained of the "lumpy" (they were not) mashed potatoes and the biscuits. (He threw one across the room.) His wife never defended herself. I was appalled!

 

When we started to go to bed, I told Sandra of my disgust. She thought it was funny; said they were like a situation comedy couple, maybe Archie Bunker, not sure.

 

We had driven there in Sandy's car. When I picked up my backpack and left in the middle of the night, promising Sandra I would not have breakfast there, I found I had no place to go. I walked to the highway and napped under a tree. In the morning, I hitchhiked home.

 

I wonder whatever happened to Sandra...