Where to go to meet people?

[Funluvin 18]

Where does one go to meet people? I see a lot on here about going to clubs but here in Nebraska we don't have any that I am aware of. By the way I'm totally new to this.

[Shore2Please 613]

I can only say we met someone on vacation. Not planned and for me not even a thought to do. Just from reading this forum I can recommend SLS.com. Create a profile. It will give you access to search for local people and local meet and greets. Good luck

[curious_2for2 92]

There are places in Nebraska - just need to look. Suggest trying SwingVillage.com, they allow trial members and they seem to cover some of your area. Good luck!

[two4youinswva 3,068]

I agree with the first two posts. When you live in an area that doesn't have a huge club presence, you have to go to the ad sites, build a profile, and start networking through new contacts.

 

Not every contact on an ad site will be someone you want to play with, and that's OK. Some of those will be "in the know" and tip you off to potential clubs and parties in the area. Swing clubs open and close all the time, so it's good to have a network of people that can keep each other in the loop.

 

Good luck!

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

As others have said, I recommend one of the swinger sites that specialize in helping people to meet. Pick a site like SLS, SDC, SZC, Swingtowns, APG, Kasidie, or Quiver, and set yourself up with an interesting profile that tells people a little bit about you two and what you're looking for. And on your chosen site, you may be able to search for groups in your area that hold meet-and-greets- another great way to find people!

[Guest]

Depends in part on what you are looking for. Want to swap with a couple, try a couples club or resort such as Desires. Want MFM, we have found that it can happen at a nice hotel bar or restaurant bar, a place where businessmen and conventioneers stay, or a resort.

[Napoleon 230]

I meet a lot of single women at the real estate seminars and charity events I attend. The fitness facilities I attend attracts a lot of young drop dead gorgeous women. I love going to the gym.

[Frank&Sera 28]

Used to be a bunch of off-premise couples clubs in NYC, was great for meeting. But there used to be a roving meetup once a month at vanilla bars, you found out where it was by word of mouth. It wasn't super-organized and I don't think the owners ever knew.

We went to one on Long Island, there were a lot of single guys which wasn't our interest at the time. But we had a fun time hanging out watching the World Series (it was the Yankees, 1996, so a while ago) with a few people. These days we'd be very interested but I don't think they're doing that anymore. We've been trying CL with little success, just emails for the moment.

[njbm 2,901]

Follow events on SLS. Events come and go.

[George1029 16]

We found one cojple that was into swing fun and they introduced us to 2 other couples they were swing funning with . We are into them also often. Love it. My wife loves the variety and I love seeing her get screwed The other wives are wonderful also. I love to chat about it if you will Private Message me we can chat

[Guest]

This question basically has LOADS of different options and variables.

 

In this case this isn't just a question of where you meet people, but also a question of what type of people you want to meet / what age range / male / female / couple / straight / bisexual / and it also heavily depends on YOU, on your life / your location / your age / your social skills, ECT.

 

Here is a really simple example if what I'm saying:

 

Sure a 25 year old man might not have a problem meeting a gorgeous women on the dance floor of some nightclub or all night rave, where a 50 year old man is going to struggle in that environment.

 

Perhaps another example would be a 50 year old couple looking for another couple to play with might do really well at the local swingers club, however the 25 year old couple just looking for that single women in their age range might not do so well.

 

Okay so where do you go to meet people in this lifestyle?

 

Men – Online, there are millions of men online, the swinging and sexual hook up sites are jammed packed with men, in fact on some sites for every 1 women there is a 1000 men looking for sex. Men do come with a huge amount of their own problems, however they are easy to meet, easy to find, not hard to convince into having sex, all fairly easy however some of the guys online will be cheating, lying, or just not great so you have to pick carefully, have some social meets, ECT.

 

Couple – Basically online or a sex / swinging club or holiday of some sort. Personally however I'd say the internet still holds enough couples on their without you having to go searching in person. I mean sure that couple who you recently got to know seem perfect, but are they swingers? Chances are you can look online and find a very similar couple who are swingers, that you won't have to nervously talk to about this situation.

 

Women – Now this is the only one which I view as different, you want to meet a women to have threesomes with then you DO NOT do that on the internet, or at a sex club, instead if you want to meet a women for MFF / FMF type threesomes then you do it in REAL LIFE, in person which really isn't that hard at all to be honest.

 

In my experience the trick to meeting a women for threesomes is to:

 

A) Find a single women that you like. This could be the girl behind the bar / the girl serving you coffee / the women standing at the train station platform, basically a women you find attractive or that you think would make a partner that matches well, a person that your own partner might like or feel more comfy with.

 

B) You walk over to this women and make friendly small talk, you engage her in normal everyday friendly conversation, talk about the bad train times / weather / comment on the nice shirt she is wearing / say what a nice morning we are having or whatever you want, it really doesn't matter.

 

Now at this point ALL you are going to do is ask this women OPINION about threesomes. Sounds inane right? Not if you word it correctly, lets say for an example that I have just met a women in a coffee shop and have started a very basic conversation with her and tried to identify if she is single, either by asking directly if she is single or asking a leading or trick question to see if she lets her relationship status slip out.

“So your wait for a train, could your boyfriend or husband not give you a lift today then or are they at work or something?”

 

“Think I might have seen you before, do you date a guy called Adam? No, who is you date then because I'm sure I have seen you with one my friends somewhere before?”

 

In some cases a women will simply tell you her relationship status and simply say “I'm not seeing anyone at the moment” or something to that effect.

 

Okay so I have started a basic conversation with this women, have tried to identify if she is a single women, and now at this stage I'm going to say something like.....

 

“Hey I guess this is going to be a super a strange question but I could really use a women's opinion about something and wondered if you wouldn't mind helping and giving me your opinion? Oh you wouldn't mind that's really nice of you however I must warn you this is a bit of a strange or even adult question, are you sure you don't mind giving me your opinion and helping me?”

 

“Oh great you don't mind, well you see over this last few days I have been a little upset and shocked and think I may have really offended one of my best friends. You see the other day my friend got drunk and came over to me and hugged me. I helped him back into the house and when we sat down he confided in me, he let out this huge story about how him and his wife are considering having a threesome with a women they know, I was so shocked, I hardly know anything about those kind of subject and just felt really shy I didn't know what to say and left my friend hanging”

 

“He looked really upset that I hadn't answered or gave my opinion but I was a little shocked by it all and didn't know what to say. The next day I just felt really bad, like I was some kind of nerd or buzz kill, that I am somehow behind with the times. I mean are threesomes even popular now? Do you think I was wrong by blanking my friend? What do you think of the threesome subject, is it cool and possibly fun, or horrible and disgusting?”

 

“Hopefully your not upset by me asking this because I just can't talk to my family or other friends about this and really wanted to hear a women's opinion, what would you have said to my friend? What is your OPINION about that subject?”

 

Honestly I don't care what bullshit story you use.

 

Your simple objective here is to drop the word “Threesome” into the conversation and then ask her opinion about that subject.

 

Another GREAT tactic to use is LOCATIONAL statements.

 

You meet a girl in a coffee shop then you can say:

 

“You never guess what, last time I was in a coffee shop a couple got kicked out the toilet for having a threesome with some women. I mean honestly I couldn't believe it, what is the world coming to, having a threesome in a coffee shop, hope this coffee shop is not the same. I mean what do you think about that, has opinions changed on that now? What's your OPINION on that subject?”

 

If you meet a women at a train station then obviously the last time you caught a train a couple got kicked off the train for having a threesome with some women. If you meet her in a super market then obviously the last time you was in the crazy supermarket you stud watching a couple arguing about threesomes for about 15 minutes.

 

Locational situation can even been down to specific items.

 

Last time I got in that lift there were 3 people all kissing each other. Last time I used that car park I got in my car and there was a couple in the next car to me having a threesome with someone. Last time. Last time I used that public toilet there was a couple in the next cubicle speaking about threesome. Last time I read that news paper there was an article in it about threesomes.

 

You are simply asking her OPINION about threesomes. You are NOT asking her for a threesome. You are NOT telling her that you like threesomes. You are not asking her to have sex at all, in fact all your doing is asking her opinion on a subject which isn't illegal.

 

C) You watch this women's reaction, if the reaction is offended / uptight / negative then simply talk about something else and then say your goodbye. “Hey its been great talking to you but I have to run now, bye bye” that you exist the conversation in the fastest friendliest manor. The moment you hear that negative or offended response just be friendly, apologise for asking a silly question, agree with them that threesomes are bad, that your happy they share your view.

 

This is great because if a women does get really offended by you asking her opinion on threesomes, if she becomes angry and calls you a pervert / freak / sex pest / sexual deviant or whatever else, then you can simply say.......

 

“OH THANK GOD!!!!! I am SO HAPPY to hear you say that. I could not agree more. I agree with you 100% in every respect. That subject is disgusting, things like threesomes are gross / vile / not nice and I'm really glad that you think that as well. I know this sounds strange but when my friend asked me for advice I was really offended and felt like I was a prude / felt like I was out of date or behind with the time. I am so glad that people share my opinion. The next time my friend asks me for advice I now know what to say. I will tell him I don't like the subject, don't agree with it, and that other people like you also share my opinion as well, thank you for your help, anyway I won't bother you again, BYE BYE”

 

Honestly if you get a negative or offended response, just agree and back out of the conversion in a friendly and quick manor. In some cases if needed simply WALK AWAY.

 

However if a women gives a positive reply then sure you want this women's number / email / Face Book / you want some way of contacting her again.

 

If a women gives a positive answer then she will say something like....

 

“Yeah I guess threesomes sound kind of cool”

 

“Yeah I think a threesome could be fun”

 

“Yeah why not you only live once right”

 

“With the right people I guess it could be fun”

 

Once you hear a positive / open minded answer then move the conversation on and in the end try and walk away with that girls number or email, or give her your number and email and ask her to contact you. Tell her you have enjoyed talking to her, that she sounds like a fun friendly person, that you would just like to chat more and get to know her by email or phone, of that is okay.

 

That you thought email or phone would be a nice safe way of chatting more, that your not a stalker, your not some computer hacker, like most people your a bit of an idiot with computers, really you just want to speak with her more and thought that would a nice safe pleasant way of doing it.

 

In many cases I have asked women to give me an old email address that they don't use much any more, or a spam email address. They don't have to give me their main email address / work email or anything like that.

 

D) You then message this women, get to know her more, explain your situation, ask to meet for a social, ask her to consider a threesome with you as a couple, as friends, and explain as much as you can about your offer without been overly rude or sexual.

 

If done correctly then within 1 to 4 weeks then maybe 80% of the women who gives positive answers can end up in your bed naked having your first threesomes with her. So in my opinion the best place to meet a women is out there in real life, find a women you like, find a women who gives a positive answer when asked her opinions about threesomes, then ask her for a threesome later once you have made contact with her or met again, ECT.

 

OTHER THINGS

 

Sexuality is another big question.

 

For example if you are specifically looking for a bisexual man then meeting this person on the internet might be easier than a sex club or swing event. However if your looking for a straight man then basically virtually all the men at such clubs or events are happy to play as straight men, even the ones who are bisexual are happy to play as straight men. You know walking up to some guy in a club and asking if he is bisexual could cause offense to the wrong type of man, so if your looking for something very specific online can be good.

 

This “Something Specific” could be various things, swingers who are into bondage / swingers who smoke weed / swingers who have children like you / swingers who have a specific set of desires.

 

That if your looking for something that you would class as strange or really specific then online is a good place to start and find the people who match you that way.

 

However if your more open minded about what could happen, if your view of threesomes or group sex is fairly normal / general then its going to open up a lot more avenues for you.

 

I think in this lifestyle the more specific you are the harder things becomes. I mean sure we would all like to meet a swing partner who has things in common, who shares similar humour, who has the level of trust you want, ECT. However when you go looking for something really specific then you cut down your chances massively.

 

For example you might only want to play with people who are white, might only want to play with someone who likes the same music as you, only play with someone who likes similar hobbies, only play with someone who likes football, only play with someone who smokes weed, only play with someone who is below 6ft tall, and sure your chances of actually finding this person are small.

 

Perhaps one rule a lot of couples follow is DO NOT meet people swing with at your work / friends / hobby hangouts / people who know your other friends or family. You know that alone is a touchy subject, some couples will basically jump in and say no play with your friends, playing with our close friends has been awesome, then another 2 or 3 couples will jump on board and say hell no don't play with people you know or work mates because it can all backfire really badly and often does.

 

This means if your asking WHERE to meet people, the basically NOT your friends, NOT your work mates, NOT anyone who knows to much about your lives, are good things to avoid.

 

I also have a rule of NOT MY AREA!!!!!

 

Honestly I can walk 5 minutes down the road and be in a bust shopping area. That 5 or 10 minutes away are coffee shops packed with young women, there are clothes shops, cafes, restaurants all that serve this local area, and half the people who work there are women. If I walked out of my front door now then within the space of maybe 5 hours I could see maybe 100 or 200 women I like.

 

However the vast majority of these people (men or women) either live or work in my area, that if anything goes wrong / if they become offended / turn out to be crazy then sure I'd rather not have that person living 4 or 5 streets away from my house or whatever.

 

This is the same if I'm meeting people online, that if I meet a man online I'm often eager to make sure his post code / area isn't to close to mine. I mean sure if we wants a threesome he can drive for 20 minutes to reach us, what I do not want is some guy who lives over the road and pops round to my house everyday for a cup of coffee whilst I'm at work, don't want the guy 2 streets away just to pop round whenever he wants, so generally try and meet people from different sides of the city.

 

 

SCHOOLS & CHILDREN:

 

One other good thing to mention is that anywhere near a school / event with children is NOT a good place to go speaking about swinging, at all, to anyone.

 

This to many people will sound really obvious, however for parents like me, for parents who attend loads of play groups / nurseries then sure that other couple or single mother who also has a baby can start looking like a real good option. You know you meet a couple you really like and get on with at one of these play groups and begin to wonder what would happen if you asked? Maybe you get to know a single mother who you think would be open to some friends with benefits fun.

 

However please understand that if asking GOES WRONG and your anywhere near children, anywhere near a school, anywhere near any children's type even then you better be expecting to shit to go bad really fucking quickly. Police may be informed / child protection agencies might be informed / your child's school and teachers may be informed / the people running the event or even site security officers might be informed / in extreme cases copies of CCTV footage may be saved.

 

In many countries / states the police will come down on you SUPER HARD if your caught causing any shit near a school or children's event. For example here in the UK if you are caught growing or dealing drugs within about half a mile of a school the courts will rain shit down upon you. If you caught with a weapon and simply happen to be near a school, then your fucked.

 

I hope that makes sense it doesn't matter if you are caught drunk near a school / caught pissing in the bushes at a children's event / caught carrying drugs, porn, weapons, or whatever else, if its near kids then from a legal standpoint your fucked. Sure you ask the wrong couple, ask the wrong single parent and they suddenly jump up screaming for security and shit could go bad really quickly.

 

In this situation if I was sure this person liked me, for example if I met a really attractive single mother at one of these kids events, then sure I'd not even bother mentioning threesomes or anything sexual at that point but would simply ask to make contact, to add her to Face Book or to take a email or number to chat more. I would NOT EVER write anything down to this women about threesomes or strange sexual shit but would instead meet her in person and just talk face to face.

 

I'd take it very slow indeed, I'd give the faintest hits of the word threesome, would very carefully feel her opinions towards the subject and if she gave even one negative or harsh answer then I'd back away, however if she was truly responsive to the idea then I'd potentially ask her when I'm well away from any schools or children's events.

 

You really have to be careful with this because you can ask one person about swinging about they will be cool about it. They will not care. You ask the wrong person like some uptight anti sexual women and sure they can jump up and go nuts, jump up and start screaming or been nasty which you do not want happening at your friends wedding reception or the work party.

 

Like stated I always try to avoid my immediate area, and also places I use all the time. If you use your local gym every week then causing a scene there wouldn't be good. If you always use the same super markets then making a scene there wouldn't be good. However if your in the city centre in a coffee shop you don't really use much then who cares.

 

Basically pick places you don't visit much, pick places where you can ask the coffee shop girl her opinion on threesomes and if she gets upset it doesn't matter because your likely to never even see her again. Same goes for meeting for social dates, meet somewhere out of your area, away from where you would usually go.

 

One other thing you can do, and this will sound a bit strange, but actually if you sit down with a pen and paper and basically list your top 5 or 10 friends and your family members, and then start listing down information about them such as where they work / when they work / what area they live in / what is their favourite bar / ECT.

 

I think a LOT of younger couples make this mistake, they think WE WILL MEET SOMEONE, BUT WHERE? So they pick their favourite pub or bar / they pick the coffee shop they use everyday at work / and this is even worse depending on how specific the persons scene is. For example young rock and metal couples will often want to meet in some rock and metal bar, that they are kind of meeting you somewhere they already go anyway which isn't great at all.

 

I remember in my younger years we all had this one favourite bar, in my opinion it was easily one of the best bars in our city, it was big, clean, had an awesome selection of drinks, it was great and me and my friends would always meet there. So sure during my first threesomes the best place to meet instantly popped into my head was our favourite bar seeing me basically sitting there meeting strangers to fuck with bar staff that knew me / bar staff that new my friends / and with the chance of a friend walking in the door any second which actually did happen once.

 

LOCKED IN:

 

When you do meet someone I'd also advice NOT to meet them for a meal, at least not on the first meeting. If you meet someone for a meal then you might actually dislike this person within the first 5 minutes but now you have booked a table / ordered food / your now locked in for the next hour or two which isn't pleasant for anyone especially if you already know your not going to play with them ever. Instead just meet for a drink or coffee, if you don't like them finish your coffee fast and make an excuse to leave, if you do like them then sit and drink 2 or 3 drinks and chat more.

 

Don't ever lock yourself into meals / big trips / holidays / sleeping at strangers houses unless you actually know these people already. In fact here is a true story from my young life.

 

I was maybe 21 years old, and even by that age I'd already had my fair share of MMF / MFF threesomes when suddenly we met a guy online, the only problem been he lived about 6 hours away by train which was just insane. However I have to say reading this guys profile he seemed to match us perfectly, he had written a detailed profile and basically without even knowing had hit ever box we wanted ticking, and even his pictures were great and matched us perfectly.

 

We spoke for some weeks and honestly it was great, we clicked on various levels, we spoke in depth about our hygiene requirements, we planned what would happen if we met / what we expected if we met and sure we got on so well this man offered to catch a train and come to spend a weekend at our home if we wanted.

 

Now at this stage we were young, eager, and we had got on so well that we decided to agree. Firstly we understood that 6 hours was a dam long and expensive train journey, and there was no point him travelling all that way just to spend a few hours here, so sure we agreed. I'd also point out that at the time this guy was basically a fairly slim and weak guy, where at 21 I was more like a hobby weight lifter, I have no doubt I could have picked him up above my head if needed, unless he had a weapon and couldn't see this guy been a big threat to me.

 

With that in mind we invited him over and I must admit it was super intense, we had spoke for maybe two months online before me and my girlfriend finally headed to the train station to meet this guy. We planned to have a few drinks in town so we caught the bus to train station and can even remember my girlfriend giggling in excitement and saying “God I'm wet already” in fact she wanted his dick a lot, we had spoken an awful lot and he ticked every box we wanted.

 

I still remember standing there in the train station waiting for this guy to arrive off the train, I can remember looking at my girlfriend, this young 20 year old goth girl with a size 6 figure and she was stunning, her hygiene was 100%, her choice of clothes, I mean honestly 90% of the guys who walked passed her was looking at her and almost drooling, in fact she was a young / sexy / hip young women who was well worth a man's time.

 

Can remember stud there been so nervous, in fact we had spoken so much we had basically built this guy up to be our ultimate swinging partner, the guy who ticked all the boxes. But honestly I shit you not, the person who got off that train was NOT THE MAN we had been speaking to.

 

In fact the guy who got off that train basically looked like a suicidal junkie, he was filthy, it didn't look like he had washed his hair in a month, his coat was torn and covered in stains, his shoes looked disgusting, if I remember correctly he had about a week of seaman stains down his jeans, and honestly this is not a lie but he got off that train and honestly some kind of Sea Gull or large bird had taken a shit which had hit him directly on top of the head, he didn't even seem to know or care, even when we told him, I mean you do know some huge fucking bird has shit in your hair right? Eeerrrr oh right, yeah.

 

Yet honestly we felt totally 100% LOCKED IN and whilst we didn't play with this guy he ended up staying at our house over night which was a really unpleasant experience. We actually asked him to have a bath and honestly the bath was filthy after, I even gave him one of my tops to wear and we just ended up stuck with this total idiot all weekend.

 

Looking back now I should have just told him to fuck off, however at the time, after speaking so long, after making so many plans, we felt locked in. Wherever you meet people do NOT lock yourself into anything. Do not agree to attend long meals / long BBQ's / long events or shows / don't agree to anything that locks you in. In some extreme cases a couple might say sure come and meet us on our boat, lets have sail for the day. Yeah no thanks, if we don't like you, if your a bunch of turds, then I want to know me can leave in 2 minutes, that we can make an excuse and simply spin around and walk away.

 

Once you know the person then agree to meals / BBQ's / trips away or whatever.

 

My advice is to meet a person for a social meeting in a well established coffee shop at a quiet period. The larger city centre coffee shops that have plenty of free tables to pick or even an outside smoking garden or whatever. You know the type of coffee shop or even bar that in in public / has CCTV / that basically even walking to this coffee shop you and the person your meeting will have probably been seen on 200 CCTV cameras as they walk through the city to meet you.

 

Either that or meet in a modern bar, the type of place that is quiet in the day but has CCTV and even security officers or plenty of bar staff kicking about.

 

Have to go but hope that helps.