Oral sex swapping advice please.

[kinksandpinks 46]

My wife and I had our first experience last night. I have a thread about it on the appropriate board. We had discussed beforehand that we are good with oral sex and we did not hesitate to exchange oral with our playmates last night. It's pretty clear how oral sex is done safely in fellatio but cunnilingus is a different story. How do others perform oral sex while swapping. Is it just a no go for you? Do you use your best judgement? Is there some way of eating pussy protected that I'm not aware of? I love eating pussy and we had no doubts about the cleanliness of our playmates last night. We really do not want to rule out oral sex but we could use some advice from more experienced swingers.

[JandKinBoise 858]

I don't want to discount the dangers in swinging, but through life we do things that are dangerous. I ski. When I ski, I drink heavily and smoke a lot of pot. I am easily the most effed up person on the hill but I am having a blast. I don't hurt anyone and I take responsibility for my own injuries. I have the option of skiing straight, slow, and only on groomed runs. But I wouldn't go skiing.

You can take all the danger and fun out of swinging. A dental dam is perfectly safe way to perform cunnilingus. And I can't imagine the feelings of the person you are doing this to.

If I remember correctly, about 90% of our immune system is located between our lips and stomach. If your mouth isn't bleeding, you are probably safe enough to eat without fear. If you are too skeeked out, maybe a different hobby?

[Alura 2,774]

I love the taste of a woman and would likely have never swapped if oral sex had been off the table. We chose couples who had been married for years and had little (or no) exposure outside their marriage. I'm sure they could have lied to us, but we had a pretty good feel for that, too. Dental Dams? No, thanks. If that had been my option, I'd have taken my delicious wife and gone home.

[kikonkrome 844]

It is typical to not use protection during oral sex. Risky? Yes...but so are a lot of other common things in life.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

If some protection is required for oral sex, either giving or receiving, then I'd rather just not have oral sex. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, so if that's the rule they want to have, that is fine, but those of us that don't have that rule also have the right to give a polite "no thanks". Is there some risk there? I'm sure there is, but like I posted in another thread on the same subject recently, there is risk in driving to the grocery store too but that doesn't keep me from doing it without giving it a second thought. There is risk in nearly everything, you just have to find your happy place and then go with it.

[PSULioness 857]

I can't answer about the swapping part only my experience in dating. I have never given a blowjob to anyone wearing a condom. I don't think it has ever been brought up. It is hard enough to make sure it is used during sex. As a matter of fact if we didn't have a condom, oral was all we were going to do before I was on birth control. About guys going down on me, not all guys have done that. Especially when I was younger. I read in another thread about dental dams and I laughed. I used to be afraid that I wasn't clean or smelled like flowers. I would make sure I would wash with sweet smelling soap. It is funny that I had no problem putting something in my mouth and worried about that. If I can take him in my mouth, I am not putting a rubber sheet on me. I enjoy getting oral sex. I have joked about breaking guys jaws and have been very satisfied with just oral. Recently for the first time in my life I went down on a girlfriend. no protection used. It was quite different than giving a blowjob and I think I want to again.

[padoc 1,703]

My sister in law is a gorgeous but very straight laced redhead. She started dating a guy shortly after her divorce was final and after several months decided to sleep with him at his place. Foreplay had just started when she heard him fumbling around. The next time he touched her, near her pussy, he was wearing surgical gloves!! Even she thought that was taking the germaphobe thing way too far. That was their last date. My point is similar to others, there ARE risks with any sexual partner unless you're having sex alone…then you run the risk of abrasion. Some risk is inherent in swinging but can be mitigated by refining your selection process. I can tell you that Mrs Doc would NEVER put a latex sheathed penis in her mouth and if I was told I had to use a dental dam to go down on a woman we'd be dressed and out the door in a heartbeat. We try to be smart AND safe without missing the best parts of sex which include skin, taste, texture, fluids and pheromones. It is a balancing act.

[PeterJ 950]

My sister in law is a gorgeous but very straight laced redhead. She started dating a guy shortly after her divorce was final and after several months decided to sleep with him at his place. Foreplay had just started when she heard him fumbling around. The next time he touched her, near her pussy, he was wearing surgical gloves!! Even she thought that was taking the germaphobe thing way too far. That was their last date. My point is similar to others, there ARE risks with any sexual partner unless you're having sex alone…then you run the risk of abrasion. Some risk is inherent in swinging but can be mitigated by refining your selection process. I can tell you that Mrs Doc would NEVER put a latex sheathed penis in her mouth and if I was told I had to use a dental dam to go down on a woman we'd be dressed and out the door in a heartbeat. We try to be smart AND safe without missing the best parts of sex which include skin, taste, texture, fluids and pheromones. It is a balancing act.

 

At one level your story is hilarious, PAdoc. But it's also appalling. I think the outcome of their ill-fated courtship is in some sense unsurprising. That two full-grown adults would date for "months" before becoming sexually engaged is I suggest a bit unusual in this day and age. Perhaps I'm not the best to judge this, as my dates are all in the LS (and mostly couples) and if we aren't in bed on the first date we are on the second, or we are both moving on. :-) In any case I certainly hope your sister-in-law's social life has improved since then. I cannot imagine what she must have thought when she felt latex-clad fingers brushing her lower abdomen. Good for her for beating a hasty retreat.

 

And I completely agree with your observation that it's the sensory aspects -- tactile delight of skin-on-skin and your partner's flavors and aromas that make a sexual engagement transcendent rather than merely pleasant.

[EastInWest 1,524]

I can tell you that Mrs Doc would NEVER put a latex sheathed penis in her mouth and if I was told I had to use a dental dam to go down on a woman we'd be dressed and out the door in a heartbeat. We try to be smart AND safe without missing the best parts of sex which include skin, taste, texture, fluids and pheromones. It is a balancing act.

 

Seconded. We both agreed early on that whatever happened, this would be undesirable. Mrs. EastInWest had a hard time, initially, with the idea of men she didn't know well cumming her mouth, but she had a harder time with the idea of men she didn't know well cumming into a condom in her mouth. It was a revealing moment: she was far more offended by the idea of giving a mediocre blowjob than the idea of giving it "unsafely". It was just the taboo that was holding her up.

 

She seems to be getting over it. I'm happy for her. We just don't consider it that risky.

[DjRayder 43]

You have the right to make up your own rules how you play and you have a right to be picky with who you let in your bedroom. But when you place to much rules your choices in getting who you want become very slim. You'll get plenty of men who'll line up to be invited but couples not so much. If you do want to swing but hate the risk involved then just venture in to voyeurism. Find couples that enjoy to be watched or enjoy same room sex. Another option is to become poly with a couple or female. To let someone in to your life that you completely trust that won't venture out. Good luck with everything.

[njbm 2,873]

What are the most likely risks from unprotected oral sex? HSV 2?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

What are the most likely risks from unprotected oral sex? HSV 2?

 

HSV2 of the mouth would be highly unlikely, HSV1 of the mouth is possible, but you are much, much more likely to contract that from kissing. HSV1 transmitted to the receiver's genitalia is possible if the receiver does not already have HSV1 in their nervous system.

 

Oral chlamydia and gonorrhea are possible if the person you are going down on has one of these infections. Someone could have these bacteria in their throat and pass it to the receiver.

 

HIV transmission via oral sex is very rare.

[njbm 2,873]

I have heard concerns voiced about swallowing pre-cum, but I remain unaware of what STD or STI it could cause. I think HPV would be unlikely as well, correct?

[Guest]

When we first started swinging, I had guys wear a condom even for oral sex. But, I didn’t like it nearly as much. And, after all, I didn’t expect them to slip on over their tongues.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

HPV infection of the throat is pretty common. Usually it is asymptomatic, but it can lead to throat cancer. https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/hpv/basic_info/hpv_oropharyngeal.htm

[Sexylyn 20]

Curious about dealing with STDs and swinging. I know that condoms are mandatory for intercourse. What about oral sex how do you protect yourself when the person wants to give or receive oral sex?

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Sexylyn said:

Curious about dealing with STDs and swinging. I know that condoms are mandatory for intercourse. What about oral sex how do you protect yourself when the person wants to give or receive oral sex?

 

You should talk to your Dr. about getting HepB and HPV vaccines and you should get tested at least yearly.

[njbm 2,873]

Few people use condoms or dental dams for oral, but it would help. I am sorry to report that HPV and HSV can be transmitted even if condoms are used. You have to know that this is true before you start this hobby. I hope that you are in an age group that could receive the HPV inoculation.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,024]

. . . I am sorry to report that HPV and HSV can be transmitted even if condoms are used. . . .

This is true. I had not been all that very sexually active before I started into swing. Consequently, I had not yet picked up HPV. As a consequence of swing activity, I did. Had me out of commission, swingwise, for a year. More recently my wife and I picked up infestations of body lice.

 

If you get into swing, you need to come to grips with the fact that things might happen.

[Mrs.Rockin 18]

I've heard of people using saran wrap as a barrier for oral sex with a woman. I've never used any kind of "protection" for oral, and if someone tried to put saran wrap over me before going down I think I would just call the whole thing off. lol

[adamgunn 1,460]

Never used protection for oral, always for vaginal penetration. Never had any problem, and I've been doing this for 15 years.

[PeterJ 950]

I've heard of people using saran wrap as a barrier for oral sex with a woman. I've never used any kind of "protection" for oral, and if someone tried to put saran wrap over me before going down I think I would just call the whole thing off. lol

 

With the experience of many years and even more partners I've found that for a surprisingly large proportion of women, as pleasurable as they might find intercourse, they like receiving oral even more. They pleasure they collectively expressed in a way trained me to love all the aspects of giving women oral - the taste, the smell and the sight of a woman's pussy, and all the variations that exist - are as strongly gratifying for me as any other aspect of erotic activity. And I like a really wide range. :-)

 

Unfortunately, my beloved (and pleasingly horny) wife as a result of a series of bladder infections early in our relationship, developed a dread of receiving oral. I'm grateful that when she masturbates manually as part of foreplay, she offers me her fingers to lick and suck. But it's not satisfying in the way that burying my face between a woman's thighs is. (Fortunately all of my play partners are more than happy to receive my oral ministrations.)

 

My wife and I did once try oral with a dental dam. It was about as satisfying for me as licking a balloon, and even less so for her.

[Sailacat 16]

We were with a couple and I went down on his wife. Things seemed very slippery and it took me a while as a newbie to realize that most likely she had had unprotected sex with either her husband or someone. I was pretty sure that the slippery and taste and sex smell was from sperm. It worried me that I could be exposed to STI but nothing happened. Surely if you are at a club you should also condomize with your wife respecting others who might be with her later or might lick her later.

[AndyPlays 31]

I have never used protection to give or get oral sex, as I expect with the super majority of those that swing.

[Sophy 569]

We do not use condoms for oral sex, never have

[BabeAndApe 70]

My sister in law is a gorgeous but very straight laced redhead. She started dating a guy shortly after her divorce was final and after several months decided to sleep with him at his place. Foreplay had just started when she heard him fumbling around. The next time he touched her, near her pussy, he was wearing surgical gloves!! Even she thought that was taking the germaphobe thing way too far. That was their last date. My point is similar to others, there ARE risks with any sexual partner unless you're having sex alone…then you run the risk of abrasion. Some risk is inherent in swinging but can be mitigated by refining your selection process. I can tell you that Mrs Doc would NEVER put a latex sheathed penis in her mouth and if I was told I had to use a dental dam to go down on a woman we'd be dressed and out the door in a heartbeat. We try to be smart AND safe without missing the best parts of sex which include skin, taste, texture, fluids and pheromones. It is a balancing act.

 

Babe and I often use latex gloves during sex. This is for two reasons:

 

1. lube is sticky and annoying to wash off - and since we use a lot of toys we use a lot of it. The gloves snap off and the hands are lube-free.

2. It makes fisting so much easier!

 

I wouldn't insist on dental dams and condoms of oral sex, but I wouldn't object if it was a request.

[forsure79 26]

My wife and I met this couple at a local club and immediately hit it off. One of our cardinal rules is that the couple's we play with have to have a recent STD test (within 6 months). The couple stated that this was no problem and the husband would get it out of the car. The wife and us started playing while the husband went to get the test results. My wife was well into playing with the other wife when the husband came back with the test results. I put the breaks on everything when I realized that the test was over 3 years old! They were totally confused when we left. Go figure.

[padoc 1,703]

Sounds like the sex nazis…."papers, scnell!!!!!!" We are REALLY happy we were not the other couple at the club! You've managed to reduce recreational sex to a lab report. Actung Actung!! You vill NOT have fun without PAPERS!!!!!! Seig Heil!

[Shore2Please 612]

As others have said there are dangers in swinging. In my entire life I have never had a condom in my mouth. I think my husband would have told me if he put something on a play partner for protection when he went down. We haven’t been with a lot of couples, none have asked for papers.

The cruise ship where we met our first couple did want to see passports lol

[Sisterbecky2019 16]

Good for you forsur79! OMG I'm new and some couples I was interested in dont ever bother to get tested! Hope u see this reply, though late, you were playing it safe.

[Bluespruce1 706]

We take the risk. He loves to have one or more ladies suck his cock and I absolutely love having a couple of cocks in my face to pleasure. I rarely swallow but if i’m really in the moment, I’ll let a guy release in my mouth.

[Numex 2,420]

. I used to be afraid that I wasn't clean or smelled like flowers. I would make sure I would wash with sweet smelling soap. .

Quite frankly young lady, when a woman generously offers me the honor of giving her an orgasm with my mouth, I don't want to taste flowers or soap, I want to taste pussy. Clean is good, but not sanitized to bland sterility.

[PSULioness 857]

Quite frankly young lady, when a woman generously offers me the honor of giving her an orgasm with my mouth, I don't want to taste flowers or soap, I want to taste pussy. Clean is good, but not sanitized to bland sterility.

 

Quite frankly “older man” lol, not only do I not want to go down on a stanky dick, I don’t relish a fishy clam.

I too don’t want a soapy taste. I do want a freshness.

[Numex 2,420]

Quite frankly “older man” lol, not only do I not want to go down on a stanky dick, I don’t relish a fishy clam.

I too don’t want a soapy taste. I do want a freshness.

I agree. It's just that some women take it way too far the other way.

 

Respect your elders. I'm old enough to be your.... brother.

[Geoduck 26]

I know i'm replying to an old post.

 

Many years ago a friend of ours asked me for advice after having a one-night, post-divorce fling. She knew we were more experienced about sex than she was (we're bit older). I'm the husband, and she asked me questions because she was scared.

 

The two of them had used condoms for intercourse, but they had had unprotected oral sex. I asked if she had brought him to orgasm that way and if she had swallowed (as I said were very good friends, though nothing sexual has happened between us). She said she had swallowed his semen.

 

Pre-come has everything a male has to offer, but with much fewer sperm (some sperm may be present, but in most cases not enough to cause a pregnancy--never say never, though!)About one third of semen comes from the prostate gland. Much more comes from the seminal vesicles. There are glands that provide some seminal fluid, including some of the pre-come. Only a tiny fraction of semen comes from the testes (and, as said, a tiny amount of sperm can be released with pre-come).

 

I recommended that she go to a clinic and be tested for every STD. She had had the same thought. I'm glad to report that all her tests were negative. Years later she entered her 2nd marriage, still STD-free, and is a happy lady.

 

When she had her full battery of tests after that one-night stand, the counselor said she should be checked for gonorrhea of the throat because she had give her man unprotected oral sex and had swallowed his semen.

 

I don't know if the counselor mentioned the possibility of oral-infected chlamydia, but given her clinic's thoroughness, I bet that was a concern that was tested for. All I know is that a good, vanilla friend was happy to tell me a month or so later that she was STD-free.

 

All that said, I have never used a dental dam when giving oral sex to a woman. If a new woman (I'm in a long-term relationship) wanted me to wear a condom when giving me oral sex, I would oblige.

 

And condoms for intercourse outside of marriage? Yes, certainly. They're great, although they don't guarantee remaining STD-free.

 

Bottom line for the main question: Yes, if a man has an STD, unprotected oral sex could transmit it. The throat might catch the disease. If not, farther down the stomach's acid should kill most of it. (This is a theory; please check with a doctor if you are concerned.)

 

People have mentioned gonorrhea and HPV, both good candidates for women (or men) swallowing semen or ingesting pre-come (some men can have copious pre-come.) No one yet has mentioned syphilis.

 

I am not a doctor or any other medical practitioner. But I have done research into all this. When applicable, I ask my urologist about concerns like this.

 

Geo