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Guest <littledick35>

Wife wants to watch two men together at swingers club

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Guest <littledick35>

My wife wants to watch me suck another guy and then join in. Is that allowed at a swingers place? l'd like to see her with another female. :cool:

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Most swinger clubs are not open to bi activity between guys. Your best bet will probably be to find a guy and enjoy the fun on your own (just the 3 of you).

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Most guys when asked will deny from the highest treetop ANY interest whatsoever in oral bi with other males. When Tam and I get them into a private room (whether it be at a club or not) they suddenly develop an interest lol. Tam loves to watch this also btw.

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My wife and I have been swinging for a little over a year and we both agree that the last thing we want to see/be part of is two guys. This isn't homophobia or whatever, but when I see 2 guys going at it I feel there is something fundementaly WRONG with it. :( Now this doesn't mean I'm 'homophobic' or whatever 'anti-gay' name you can give me, but its about the most unsexy thing I can think of short of copraphillia. With couples we've met we've found this to always be the same. I've noticed that a lot of bi-couples get upset that the majority of the swingers community frowns on bi-men (not totaly unlike the same way straight females sometimes feel), but swinging is about what you want to do/see/experiance and a LOT of us males in it do NOT want to be part of that as it is totally unappealing.

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We were with a Bi-Couple this weekend. Actually they were Bi-Curious by our definition. Neither had ever tried it, but where interested.

 

While we're up for girl on girl. We're not up for guy on guy. And, had to make that point VERY clear, as they were very insistant.

 

Not many males advertise this inside of a "social". And many socials, as Julie said, are not open to it inside the club.

 

But I feel the same way about single bi males, as I do about single bi females. There are lots of them out there. So it shouldn't be hard to find someone to bring home and have fun with.

 

Yahoo chat rooms seem to be filled with BI males looking for couples and singles.

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I find most men object very much to trying a bi activity or even having it go on around them. But many of the WOMEN I know do find it sexy and want to see it, in the same way a lot of men find 2 women together sexy.

 

I think maybe we women are just a tad more progressive in our thinking 😛

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I think maybe we women are just a tad more progressive in our thinking

 

This is the sort of language I find a bit annoying :rolleyes: as it implies that its somehow 'better' to be open to homosexual activities. The couples we have met the women were all mildly to totally bi, but they too seemed 'grossed out' at the thought of 2 men involved in sex. It is not like I am offended some people like it, more power to them, there are just some sexual activities I find unappealing, and no amount of 'progressive' thought can change that.

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There another word for it and it isn't a nice word: Double-Standard

 

Society, how men & women are raised (visit Nancy Friday's website), the entertainment industry... there is no getting around the idea if your a man... a single male at a swing club, viewing a man's penis on television, two men fucking each other...face it, we all have hangups about it.

 

And it's wrong! Period!

 

That said, I'm as biased as all of you! Guilty as charged!

 

I would love a dick up my ass. If my wife's finger and tongue feels that good, how about the real thing.

 

And at the same time, to look at my own dick, just turns me off, let alone another man's dick.

 

It speaks to the very way men and women are raised, not by just our parents, but society in and of itself.

 

The playing field should be level, but what one of us has the courage to rise above of our own prejudices and do what's right?

 

Not me!

 

:D

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Okay, I was not going to post as this subject has already been discussed quite extensively in another thread, but I just can't seem to help myself.

 

It's true that a LOT of people are turned OFF by male bisexuality, but it is also true that a LOT of people are turned ON by it.

 

The truth is that there is NOTHING WRONG with feeling either way.

 

I like it. I hate the "double standard" of it being okay for a woman, but not a man, but that is the way society is.

 

To the original poster.. Yes you will have a hard time with this in a social/club setting, as you can see from all the post here on the board that it is not highly accepted, but as Julie said, your best bet is to find a male on your own and have the fun you want privately.

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Originally posted by TNT:

this subject has already been discussed quite extensively in another thread

 

We've all missed the boat on this one. Littledick was referring to oral sex. No mention was made of anal.

 

There is quite a difference. Someone would have a lot better chance of talking me into a BJ, than checking out my backdoor. 😛

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I'm not sure we can 'blame' society for this. All of my friends know I'm married but none of my friends (swingers excluded) know that our marriage is anything but normal. Society tells me swinging is somehow wrong, if I were trying to run for office and this sort of thing got out I would never get elected in most parts of the country (regardless of party) yet we do it anyways because we think 'society' can cram it :p . If I had the SLIGHTEST desire for a homosexual experience I would most likely try it, but to me its about as appealing as fucking my dog (and lets not see THAT thread again ). :confused:

 

At any rate I don't see it as a double standard. Most swing clubs (and swingers if you look at adds) have no problem with girl-girl but big problems with guy-guy. This isn't a sexual liberation issue, but a 'what do the people want to see/be part of' issue. I want to be 'turned on' and seeing to guys having sex has just the opposite reaction to me. If I wasn't in the majority on this one clubs wouldn't have such rules in the first place.

 

I would refer to my wife as 'barely-bi' and would rather leave it then take it, but she has never been turned off by seeing two women together. Society didn't prepare her for this, there wasn't any female kissing on tv when she grew up, and lesbians were thought of as only gym-teachers, unattractive women, and athletes. At the same time, she is turned off by seeing two guys together.

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Ok David, you are right, there is a difference in oral and anal, but I consider male bisexuality to include oral and/or anal.

 

And Chicup, I didn't know there was a "rule" at clubs that if you were a bi-male you could not attend.

 

This is one subject that most men, if they are bi or bi-curious, will keep to themselves simply because of the fact that it is so strongly frowned on by people in the lifestyle. They don't want to be outed so they never admit it to anybody, ever.

 

You are in the majority when it comes to vocalizing their dislike for it, but I sometimes wonder how may of those that say..Not me, never! are really thinking in the back of their minds...hmmm, I wonder?

 

You and your wife are not turned on by it at all, and that is fine, but there are some of us out there who will stand up and admit that yes it turns me on big time.

 

I just wish that it was not frowned on so much so that those that do like it, would not have to hide the fact that they do,just so they can be accepted.

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I just wish that it was not frowned on so much so that those that do like it, would not have to hide the fact that they do,just so they can be accepted.

 

What do you mean by accepted? I accept bi-males for who they are, I just don't wish to have sex with them.

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By accepted I mean...when people find out that the male half of a couple is bi, they tend to not want to have anything to do with the couple anymore.

 

Example..If you met a couple that you were both attracted to and thinking about playing with and in the course of the conversation, you found out that they were both bi, would you still play with them, or shy away, even though it had been expressed that just because they were bi, they did not have to or even expect to act upon it? Most people would not play out of fear that the other person would not respect their boundaries, even though they said that they would...this is why I feel most men will hide the fact that they are bi.

 

I know straight women that will not play with a couple when they find out that the female side is bi...being bi means that you enjoy it both ways...not that you have to have it both ways or even expect it in every situation.

 

It's just easier on a woman when she is bi, than it is for a man and I find this very sad.

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Although traditionally bi activity has only been accepted among women in swinging, I do think that is changing. At least in our area and among the age group we normally meet (under 40) it does not seem to be nearly as big an issue if the man is bi too, compared to how it seemed to be 3 or 4 years ago.

 

I think if clubs are going to be open to female-bi activity, they should be open to male as well. Not that too many men would participate, not that anyone should be expected to, but to say it is "not allowed" is a pretty old-fashioned idea

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David, there is no difference between oral and anal. And there should be no difference between men & woman, bi-man & bi-women. It's only different because you have issues with it. Personally, I like the idea of having my hindparts fucked, if it'a woman doing it!

 

This message board, the people who posts their messages, are the very people the 1st Amendment protects. And yet, you choose to deny those ideas because this time it offends your morality?

 

Reminds me of prayer in public school. We fight and scratch like hell for Christians to have prayer in the school, and once won, the Christians turn around and deny other denominations their right to the same!

 

The perfect little circle! We have met the enemy and they are us!

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Originally posted by SnittyKitty:

David, there is no difference between oral and anal

 

Wrong on count one. We both have issues with anal here. But, most certainly not oral. :)

 

Quote
It's only different because you have issues with it

 

It's not "different", it's damn painful! And, since we have issues with inflicting pain on anyone, ourselves included. I guess we do have issues with it.

 

That said, we'll welcome a couple we are attracted to, into our bed anytime. Even if the male is BI. But, it will be by OUR rules, not theirs. Our rules say, there isn't going to be any anal with either of us, period. 😛

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Originally posted by SnittyKitty:

are the very people the 1st Amendment protects. And yet, you choose to deny those ideas because this time it offends your morality

 

I've been reading all day. But, I still haven't found it. What paragraph is it, that says me taking one up the arse is protected under the first amendment??

 

If us refusing to do so violates someone civil rights (as in DENY them access to our arse). Then they need to take us to court. And shut the hell up about it.

 

As I recall, it's a preference. We prefer not too. So we don't. That's all that need be said about it.

 

There's another thing that seems to be missing in this thread. If by saying that we CHOOSE not to have male on male sex with a Bi Male makes us bad people. Why would it not also make that SAME bi-male a bad person, if he can't respect our preferences.

 

It's all about preferences.

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If you find MM sex distasteful then don't engage or watch it.

 

I find anal sex distasteful but certainly would not suggest banning it at clubs or in the lifestyle.

 

I find people that are proud of their sexual orientation to be fakes and blowhards too. Sexual preference is a matter of very intimate personal feelings. Of course if it includes illegal or unconsenting stuff that's different.

 

The double standard at clubs concerning male bisexuality is nothing more than old fashioned puritanism disguised as masochism. Most of the guys that get all worked up about it are foot ball nuts and sports addicts that think that being macho means acting like their grandpa.

 

Well grandpa may have never swung but you are acting just like him when you give your unsolicited opinion on how distasteful some consenting sexual activity is.

 

Personally I don't care if you like it or not. I don't care if you find it distasteful or a turn off. Why bring it up if you aren't trying to be proud of our sexual orientation? Be proud that you are a honest hard working parent, spouse and worker. Leave the sexual pride for how well you get others off.

 

I may have sounded contradictory with my remarks bout being turned off by anal sex but I would never bring it up unless it was for an analogy.

 

I don't hear much about pain during sex in this forum either. And I do not equate pain with sex but I have watch videos where people really get into it.

 

Another subject is golden showers. Well I'm not going there but if it gets someone excited then let them piss all over each other. Who the hell cares.

It kind of bothers me when someone says...I'm straight and intend to stay that way and get offended by people that think its wrong.

 

Do you have any idea that 99 percent of the people think you are normal and right. The true discrimination is with the attitude against bi men, gay men, sadomaso stuff and other things that don't fit into the norm.

 

Why get defensive because someone finds you intolerant of their preferences?

 

Try putting an article in your local newspaper forum about the wonderful fun you and your wife have found with swinging. lmao

 

This is the only place where a supposedly open minded sexual couple can put themselves on a higher level than others that just do the same thing but in a different manner.

 

I am proud that I am a good father, husband and worker. I am not ashamed that I like to suck a dick once in a while and if you find that distasteful then that's fine. But please give me one reason why you would vocalize that feeling. Then consider if you are truly open minded or sanctimonious.

 

P.S. My wife loves to watch it and that's half the reason. I'd love to know if you would do that for your wife or if you just want to watch her do it to other women to satisfy your own selfish desires.

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Originally posted by TNT:

And Chicup, I didn't know there was a "rule" at clubs that if you were a bi-male you could not attend.

 

I think in most cases with clubs you will find it to be a "don't ask, don't tell" situation. Like someone else mentioned, once you get a guy into a private room what you do is up to you. But, in general, bisexuality amongst males is not openly accepted at MOST swing clubs (again it will depend on the club). So going up to guys at a club and asking them to join the two of you for a bisexual encounter would probably not be looked on too kindly... but that doesn't mean that there may not be guys there that wouldn't be open to it. However, I still say your best bet would be to find someone on your own (outside of a club) for this fun.

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I am all for male and female bi-activity. I find 2 men together to be very erotic........However I am turned off by anal sex too. You can be a bi man and NOT be into anal or you can be 100 straight and get totally turned on by a toy in your ass. It's just a matter of personal preferences, many straight guys like it in the ass but would never dream of having a man do it!

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The massive debate. My wife would love nothing more than to see me suck a dick or be the recipient of anal sex. I'd do it for her. Had I never been with her I doubt I would ever do it, but throw her in the mix and yes, I would. She's done me with a dildo; what's the diff? It's funny that SOME people in a situation that could be judged by others for their lifestyle will judge their own for something else. I think that goes beyond a double standard into hypocrisy. I know most on here haven't done that, but it needs be said.

 

I'd do it; though I haven't.

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I'm a bisexual man. I would not have claimed that 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago, having been very "straight" for almost all of my adult life. Recently, however, I have come to a place of greater acceptance in myself for what I enjoy, and especially what I seek in the world. And, in many ways, it was VERY liberating for me to explore this side of myself, of being a male in this mixed-up world, and to overcome my own judgements, biases, fears, and ignorance. In my view, this is no different than someone discovering they enjoy photography or wine tasting or basket weaving -- when it's all said and done, it's no big deal really...

 

As it turns out, I really enjoy being with certain friendly, caring men because it is strikingly similar to my most enjoyable experiences with women. This may be a big surprise to people who claim there are big differences between men and women sexually. I have found that there are indeed some differences, but not SIGNIFICANT differences. To me, being with a man can be equally as loving, tender, sweet, sensual, caring, compassionate, hot, and sexy. I really enjoy kissing women, and it was such a pleasant surprise to discover that I could enjoy kissing with my own gender just as much, that good kissing is good kissing, that someone who's a good kisser is a good kisser, that it really isn't a matter of the gender of that person (in most cases ;-) ).

 

In short, sex with someone doesn't replace something, it arguments it. Being a happy, playful, sexual person isn't an end in itself, it's a means by which we can do other things in our lives. And it's up to us if those things bring us further happiness or if they cause us (and others) further struggle and strife. It's not meant to be a strife.

 

I sincerely hope this helps.

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    • By AdamGunn2
      It was a fairly typical night at D.J.s Island, an early autumn evening. Mary and I hadn’t set anything up in advance, we’d decided to go almost at the last moment. From the second we entered the door our radar was beaming across the club, searching for a couple that might be searching for what we were also interested in - an enjoyable tryst.
       
      Mary took a few minutes to change into what she called a ‘trolling outfit.’ As I remember, that night it was a black babydoll with a loose bodice, thong, low heels. Many men admired her legs as I checked the forty or so women, many as scantily clad as my wife. None of our regular playmates seemed to be in attendance that evening, but we had our customs, we weren’t concerned. Perhaps an hour and a half later, I sat at a table next to the dance floor, Mary was on her feet, on the parquet, moving her body, seeing if anyone would move in. A slow sequence of men approached her, danced with her. Some would take liberties such as moving their hands under her garment, feeling the small of her back, perhaps place their palm on the roundness of her ass.
       
      I’d seen this many times before, I waited for one of two reactions.
       
      The first was that she’d spin away from the man; it signified she wasn’t interested in what he had to offer.
       
      The second was that she’d get closer, I’d watch her whisper in his ear. I knew the question, “Where’s your wife?” Some of them would shake their heads, they were attending as one of the few single men the club allowed, and when they received Mary’s response, they’d move away - that’s not what we were looking for at the moment.
       
      But the man might indicate where his wife was dancing a few feet away. When this kind of thing happened, Mary would glance to me and give our special signal - she’d put one hand on the back of her head, one on her stomach. When I got the cue, I’d come out, we’d dance as a foursome.
       
      As I approached, a man grasped the elbow of a tall attractive lady who was more modestly dressed, at least for the club. There was no conversation on the dance floor, the heavy volume of music and the thumping of the bass wouldn’t allow for speech. But I could tell the woman was interested in me, the four of us paired off and I often found myself facing this vixen. It was obvious they were as interested in us as I was in them, I could tell by the way Mary was rubbing against the man that she felt the same.
       
      After a couple of songs, Mary led the way off the floor, holding his hand, leading us off into a corner away from the speakers. As we sat, the man said, “I’m Ed, this is my wife, Marilyn.”
       
      Marilyn and I softly shook hands, I believe she raised the hem of her skirt to give me a view of her upper thighs. Ed had no problem seeing Mary’s legs, or where they met - she was sitting so that the babydoll was gathered to her side, leaning forward so her globes were exposed to his view.
       
      “Do you come here often?” Ed asked.
       
      “Every few weeks,” I responded, “you?”
       
      “This is our first time here.” Mary gave him a look that asked for further info. “We’re just starting this,” he admitted.
       
      Marilyn picked it up. “We’ve only had one time with a couple of friends. We liked it, heard about this place, decided to see if we could get into more trouble.”
       
      “Trouble’s our middle name,” I joked.
       
      Our conversation continued, where do you live, what movies have you seen lately, etc. It was a screen, of course, we were all calculating if the four of us would be pleasurable bedmates. I paid my attention to Marilyn, my wife had told me numerous times not to worry about her, she can take care of herself. My hand found Marilyn’s knee, she smiled at me, encouraged me to reach a tad higher. We bent towards each other, our mouths met.
       
      Marilyn opened her lips to me, the kiss was ardent, her mouth moist. She licked at my upper lip, her hand fondled the back of my neck. Our tongues clashed, promising cupidity, mimicking what I presumed our bodies might be doing in a few scant moments.
       
      We broke for a moment, Marilyn invited, “Would you guys want to go to one of the rooms?”
       
      I, of course, was all for it, but then I heard Mary. “Uh, not right now. But thanks.”
       
      We’ve always had the guideline that if one person doesn’t want to do something, she speaks for both of us. Regretfully, I pecked at Marilyn’s lips a last time, we stood, went separate ways.
       
      “You’re not upset, are you?” Mary asked me.
       
      “Of course not, not at all. You’re not in the mood?”
       
      “Oh, I’m in the mood all right, just not with Ed.”
       
      “Something wrong with him?” I asked.
       
      “I tried to get him interested,” Mary revealed, “but his kiss was a little cold, indifferent. I put my hand on his leg, he was too busy watching you and Marilyn, he never responded. My guess is that if we went into a room, he’d be watching you two, I’m not even sure he’d get hard for me.” It was a reasonable thought, it had happened to us a couple times before. “Hope you don’t mind, bet she’d have been a firecracker.”
       
      “Maybe. But you’re a firecracker too.”
       
      We headed back to the dance floor, in search of another couple.
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