Teeharleyrider 15 Posted January 8, 2017 We started swinging slowly about 3 1/2 yrs ago. Then a year ago things started going fast. Before I knew it or he knew it, we were hosting huge parties, had a few orgies, I had a several males one night, he had several too, and females too. Then we had tension after nine rally when I emotionally bonded with a fellow ex solider, a double amputee. We did not have sex. We talked for a couple of hours. I went to bed. Never seen him again. But my partner and I have had problems and tension since and we have not swung, played or really even talked about it much since. I love him and that's fine with me. I just miss it. I enjoy men and multiple men. I have played alone since. We are not married, but we are committed. I have my home, he had his. I want him in my life. I love him. Am I wrong though for fulfilling my sexual needs? I've always been sexual and he knew this from the jump. I do not and will not deliberately hurt him. But I have needs. Am I wrong? I even go out of town to play to try to avoid him ever even finding out. Quote Share this post Link to post
kikonkrome 844 Posted January 8, 2017 I don't think you should play behind his back. I do think you should fulfill your own sexual needs. I think an emotional 'affair' for want of a better term is more difficult than a physical affair. Especially in swinger circles?? People can correct me if I they disagree on this one, really feel free. I would be and do get tense, upset, need to talk to my wife if I 'feel' like that is happening and really go out of my way to avoid it. I think sometime with him directly expressing to him what is on your mind is in order. Hopefully he can articulate what is bothering him maybe it has nothing to do with the other soldier?). We take breaks from swinging, long term and short term. Maybe it's just time for a little break. I hope this helps. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
Guest luvin eye full Posted January 8, 2017 kikonkrome is right on the money here and i agree this will be hard but you must talk it out and both of you listen to the other one, when your feelings come in to it then is it still swinging? i would say no but others may say yes, Really what is more important to you - sex with strangers or sex with your man? ( because if your SO finds out he may see it as cheating ) Can you give up the ex solider - i think this is a presumed threat to your SO ( and i think you know it is ). From what you say he doesn't mind when there's no feelings involved right? Any way your not wrong for having feelings - it will just not work with most couples because it's not just sex anymore, i would think that nothing we say will help you need to talk to your SO. I do hope the two of you can find some way to make it work out. Regards. Quote Share this post Link to post
GoldCoCouple 4,066 Posted January 9, 2017 Talk to him...ask him what is wrong. It sounds like the emotional bonding was the trigger, he's okay with sharing your body but not your emotions. Let him know that you won't. Bottom line is you both need to improve your trust and communication and get back on the same page. Not swinging is a great idea until you are both good again. Good luck and let us know how things go... Quote Share this post Link to post
hlgcpl4fun 79 Posted September 24, 2023 On 1/9/2017 at 10:07 AM, GoldCoCouple said: Talk to him...ask him what is wrong. It sounds like the emotional bonding was the trigger, he's okay with sharing your body but not your emotions. Let him know that you won't. Bottom line is you both need to improve your trust and communication and get back on the same page. Not swinging is a great idea until you are both good again. Good luck and let us know how things go... I completely agree with it is "OK to share your body but not your emotions". To enjoy the LS, you have to be able to separate sex and love. That is one of the subjects we discussed at length before we attended our very first house party. There were other "rules" some of which have been modified in our 25 years in the lifestyle. Quote Share this post Link to post
Numex 2,419 Posted September 25, 2023 9 hours ago, hlgcpl4fun said: I completely agree with it is "OK to share your body but not your emotions". To enjoy the LS, you have to be able to separate sex and love. Not us. Daniela and I have no problem with us having an emotional attachment to another partner. She to another married couple, me with one of the other wives in our group. This is not a problem with anyone in our group. Why is it that in the lifestyle where your spouse can be fucking other people every which way, the final frontier of swinging is ..... caring? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
hlgcpl4fun 79 Posted September 25, 2023 25 minutes ago, Numex said: Not us. Daniela and I have no problem with us having an emotional attachment to another partner. She to another married couple, me with one of the other wives in our group. This is not a problem with anyone in our group. Why is it that in the lifestyle where your spouse can be fucking other people every which way, the final frontier of swinging is ..... caring? That is one of those personal choices. What works for you does not work for us. We do not want the emotional attachments. We love the sex. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
