kikonkrome 844 Posted January 11, 2017 So we have friends in the lifestyle that we have played with numerous times. We love them to death a lot of fun. The problem in the bedroom is he doesn't really get it up and she kinda attacks me, cause well I am hard as a rock. Yay, me, not so good for wifey. We have had a few threesomes, with just her and he is pretty good with that, and the wife enjoys that. I like him though, and feel kinda uncomfortable doing that? So what do I do now guys? Talk to them about it? How do I bring it up? Just make it like a threesome with him kinda touching? Any other idea's? Quote Share this post Link to post
njbm 2,901 Posted January 11, 2017 Does the other gentleman have ED? Would he benefit from medication? Maybe your wife should discuss it with his wife. It can be great for their marriage. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
Scaredstiff 129 Posted January 11, 2017 I think you should talk about it man to man, I think if you get your wife to tell his wife it could be more embarrassing than it needs to be because he might feel like everyone has been talking behind his back , that's gotta be the worst thing if his performance issues are related to feeling insecure. It's going to be awkward whichever way you approach it so may as well just go for it . I mean what's the alternative? You and your wife eventually get bored with the situation and stop seeing them? Surely better to try and help? You say you really enjoy your time with this couple , so imagine how good it could be if you were both stiff as a board. Might be a simple case of a little viagra, if you've ever had some maybe easing his fears is all that's required 2 Quote Share this post Link to post
SW_PA_Couple 4,026 Posted January 12, 2017 We enjoy a relationship with a couple and their situation is about what you describe. We figure that if they are happy with it, we are happy with it. Quote Share this post Link to post
Branigan 33 Posted January 12, 2017 Obviously he is comfortable letting her go off with you two. Have you thought about the reverse? What about giving him an opportunity with the ladies? What about giving him some private time with just your wife. Perhaps a one on one encounter would help boost his confidence. A point to consider when talking about Viagra is that it will not always counter act performance anxiety. Anxiety is a powerful internal struggle that can eliminate all the positive effects that Viagra can offer. That being said, most don't know that and it can help break down that psychological barrier. A bit of a placebo effect there. Quote Share this post Link to post
kikonkrome 844 Posted January 13, 2017 I actually have no idea what the precise area of the problem is...anxiety/medical/combination of both. We are not a separate play couple and I can feel like it's up to them to sort that out...if he is better alone with another woman or not. Kinda feels like it wouldn't matter. Honestly, think he would like one on one with me , but maybe that's my ego talking. I think a one on one with him might be in order. We'll see how it goes next time we get together. Quote Share this post Link to post
Scaredstiff 129 Posted January 13, 2017 Talking about might actually alleviate some of the pressure he must be feeling, I mean it must be the elephant in the room at times, Quote Share this post Link to post
DjRayder 43 Posted January 13, 2017 Yeah I've been there once and it was due to anxiety trying to perform under pressure. What helped me was a week before I knew I was going to play I change my diet; drank more cranberry juice and water, ate more fruits and veggies especially those the helped blood circulation, and eliminated anything that restricted blood flow from my diet which was usually meat and fatty foods. And when the night came with a little help with cialis and other vitamins the problem was eliminated. I know this wasn't the answer but if it comes up in conversation maybe that would help to steer him in the right direction. But if it happens again have him use a toy on the female partner. At moments like this Im glad to have a little bit of BDSM in my background for sensory/Bondage play where its all about her. Good luck guys hope it all works out. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
kikonkrome 844 Posted January 13, 2017 brb getting some cranberry juice!! Actually been drinking a lot of cranberry juice lately, wasn't aware of the circulation side effect. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post
DjRayder 43 Posted January 13, 2017 I don't think it has to do with the circulation side affect I use it to clear out toxins in the bladder (well it's supposed to anyway). Sort of like cleaning the pipes. Quote Share this post Link to post