Newbies first club

[Scaredstiff 129]

So , a little about us ,

We are both 41 , 2 kids , been talking about swinging for a few months now and last night we went to a club for the first time, we have not swapped at this point.

 

We were very nervous in the taxi on the way to the club, we had our drinks with us as it was bring your own beer, we selected this particular club because it had a lot of reviews stating that it was a very friendly place.

We knock on the door and are welcomed in by a very sexy looking lady who is maybe a couple of years older than us, she cracks jokes with us and compliments us on our appearance and already we are feeling much more at ease.

One of the regular customers, a lady , again slightly older takes us to the bar to hand our drinks over and then gives us a tour, it's a small place but the ambience is nice and there's plenty of places to play upstairs and a disco downstairs, she sits us down in a quiet room upstairs and goes through all the rules , etiquette etc and answers questions we have, she came across as a very kind lady , like she genuinely had our interests at heart.

 

We go downstairs and grab some drinks and it seems everyone wants to talk to us, not in an overbearing way just really friendly, a couple come in who we had messaged online and it's clear right away that she's very interested in me (mr) I can't even begin to put into words how good that made me feel! And my wife also took it in good spirits as she flirted with me, I think it turned her on to see this girl with her hands all over her husbands chest lol.

That couple had arranged to meet another couple at the club so after the 6 of us chatted for about 30 minutes they left and went upstairs.

Another couple came over straight away and started chatting , these guys were really hot but also very down to earth and great fun to talk to , she was nearly 6ft in her heels with very long legs and jet black hair and beautiful elfin features.

She didn't show much interest in me but she seemed very interested in my wife, I had a great time just watching the 2 of them sat together chatting on a sofa , every now and then she rubbed my wife's leg and I prayed for more but it didn't happen , I chatted with the husband and he was a super nice guy and the on site security I think lol he was a big guy and I think my wife liked the look of him too.

Unfortunately they had an early start Sunday morning so left rather early but we definitely hope to see them again.

 

We decided that was enough talk and made our way upstairs to see what was going on.

We sat on a sofa in a kind of communal areas in front of a big screen showing porn.

On a sofa to the left of us a couple were giving oral to each other , the sofa opposite that had a couple fucking , the sofa opposite us had a couple just groping each other and there was a room to our right that we could see into that had a couple fucking doggy style. It was a lot of stimulation so me and the wife made out with each other.

Eventually my wife starts to suck my cock and pretty much all the couples are looking at us, I'm still trying to comprehend how on earth it felt like the most natural thing in the world lol it was incredibly liberating.

I returned the favour to my wife but she was less sure and didn't want to have herself on show to everybody but she allowed it to go on a while before sitting astride me and lowering herself onto me with her back to the room.

Couples were still taking a lot of interest even though we still had most of our clothes on , most of the other couples still had a fair amount of clothing on though.

As my wife got faster while riding me the couple opposite matched our speed and kept looking over , she was sucking her husbands cock and was really going to town , so horny! Throughout all this all the fucking noises from all the other couples were filling the place and it was an incredibly horny moment for us , we had never allowed anyone to watch us before this.

I felt at any moment the couple opposite would come over or signal to us but it didn't happen. We had set boundaries to no swapping for our first time as we thought there would be a lot to take in on our first visit, which there was, but we had no idea we were going to be so comfortable in front of other people, with hindsight we could have possibly set our boundaries further but no harm done and we have all that to look forward to next time.

We had a few more drinks downstairs in the bar and played a little bit more upstairs before leaving. On the way out the first couple we chatted to appeared as if by magic and asked us to play upstairs but sadly we were tired and had a little too much drink by then so declined.

 

All in all we thoroughly enjoyed it, we found it to be just as the reviews had stated, clean, relaxed, sexy, no pressure etc. We left wanting more and can't wait to go back, unfortunately we can only get baby sitters once a month and that seems so far away lol, we are going to discuss changes to our boundaries for the next visit so we can maybe do more.

[njbm 2,901]

Sounds like a great start! You have limits, you are on the same page, no apparent jealousy. Hope you play with another couple next time!

[Alura 2,775]

It sounds as if y'all had a pleasant evening and the future holds great promise. Congratulations!

[kikonkrome 844]

Glad you had a good time!

[Scaredstiff 129]

Thanks guys , we hope to include some play with others next time, it felt really good to unveil the mystique and now that we've done that and know we are comfortable we will probably ramp things up a little bit at a time, my wife wishes to move slower than me but I'm all OK with that. Still buzzing.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

You've described a very nice beginning to your swinging adventure! I'm glad you two felt so comfortable, and also glad that you found the environment to be so friendly and sexy. I think it was a good thing that you didn't try to extend your boundaries on the spur of the moment. It might have been OK, but it is safer to stick with your previously-agreed limits unless you two can take a little time to talk it over. As you gain comfort and confidence, that kind of conversation may be easier, or unnecessary!

 

What's next in your swinging plan?

[Scaredstiff 129]

You've described a very nice beginning to your swinging adventure! I'm glad you two felt so comfortable, and also glad that you found the environment to be so friendly and sexy. I think it was a good thing that you didn't try to extend your boundaries on the spur of the moment. It might have been OK, but it is safer to stick with your previously-agreed limits unless you two can take a little time to talk it over. As you gain comfort and confidence, that kind of conversation may be easier, or unnecessary!

 

What's next in your swinging plan?

 

We were tempted , a couple looked like coming over to join us but I avoided eye contact at the crucial moment lol, in hindsight it was the right move , as having absolutely no previous experience we still have a lot to think about from that night.

 

Our next adventure is a social meet in 2 weeks with a couple we've been chatting online with for about a month , they aren't newbies but they aren't hardened swingers either so should be another relaxed night.

After that we are planning to return to the club for a valentines ball on the 18th of Feb, by then we should have a clear idea about what we're willing to try as a couple.

Seems such a long way off at the moment though lol.

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

All in all we thoroughly enjoyed it, we found it to be just as the reviews had stated, clean, relaxed, sexy, no pressure etc. We left wanting more and can't wait to go back.... we are going to discuss changes to our boundaries for the next visit so we can maybe do more.

 

What a wonderful first experience! A few thoughts...

 

1. Enjoy reliving the experience. Compare notes. Talk about "what if..." this or that had happened differently. This will help shape fantasies, intentions and boundaries for the next time.

 

2. Be patient. You are going to have new experiences that will affect your relationship in many ways. The communication pipe between you has to be fully open. Make sure that your emotional sensors are well-tuned to what the other is experiencing.

 

3. As someone else on this board remarked to me--and a line that we have shamelessly borrowed--"The lifestyle isn't all orgasms and roses." There will be some low points to balance the delightful experience that you just had. What matters--and we would argue the ONLY thing that matters--is your (plural) happiness.

 

Have fun!

[kikonkrome 844]

You've described a very nice beginning to your swinging adventure! I'm glad you two felt so comfortable, and also glad that you found the environment to be so friendly and sexy. I think it was a good thing that you didn't try to extend your boundaries on the spur of the moment. It might have been OK, but it is safer to stick with your previously-agreed limits unless you two can take a little time to talk it over. As you gain comfort and confidence, that kind of conversation may be easier, or unnecessary!

 

I am not entirely sure I agree with this? Things that are unexpected kinda come at you, sometimes they are really, really great. I think our best advice is to check in with each other as often as possible, WHILE THINGS ARE HAPPENING.

 

@Scaredstiff eventually the situation will come where you want to tap out and not go forward.

 

I would say if a situation starts going farther than you want it, it's ok to just take the breather.

 

Honestly my wife has blown off our well discussed boundaries on more than one occasion...LMAO...most times it's been great, but there was the one time I was totally not into it and called it off.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

I am not entirely sure I agree with this? Things that are unexpected kinda come at you, sometimes they are really, really great. I think our best advice is to check in with each other as often as possible, WHILE THINGS ARE HAPPENING.

I don't disagree with the approach you mention, kikonkrome. Once a couple has reached a comfort level where they have shown each other that they're game for quick-decision boundary expanding, and they have a shorthand way of having that quick discussion, then I'm all for a quick check-in and giving an OK. My only point was that the very first time out, it might be better to take more time and be more cautious.

 

Goodness knows that the Mrs and I, after we had a couple of play dates under our belts (LOL, no pun intended!), felt comfortable with a quick check-in and some big boundary-busting! We went to a house party and had a great time with separate room play, and the Mrs having multiple partners at once!

[Scaredstiff 129]

What a wonderful first experience! A few thoughts...

 

1. Enjoy reliving the experience. Compare notes. Talk about "what if..." this or that had happened differently. This will help shape fantasies, intentions and boundaries for the next time.

 

2. Be patient. You are going to have new experiences that will affect your relationship in many ways. The communication pipe between you has to be fully open. Make sure that your emotional sensors are well-tuned to what the other is experiencing.

 

3. As someone else on this board remarked to me--and a line that we have shamelessly borrowed--"The lifestyle isn't all orgasms and roses." There will be some low points to balance the delightful experience that you just had. What matters--and we would argue the ONLY thing that matters--is your (plural) happiness.

 

Have fun!

 

Thanks for the advice!

I really like point 1 , we have discussed it a lot but not expanded on it by saying "what if" and you're right that would be a great way to gauge where we're both at, there were plenty of "what if" moments all through the night.

One thing that was really reassuring was that on the drive home we discussed all the different couples we met and we were in total agreement on all of them, some over confident, some nice, some we would swing with etc.

 

The point about patience is a valid one, I would very much like to drive forward but my wife is more cautious, of course I will go at her pace , but I think I will need all of my patience lol. Our communication has been good up to now , but the night did highlight some things I would like to improve, I touched on it in another thread, my wife seems reluctant to say if she finds a guy attractive , like she's still waiting for me to have a meltdown about it or something or maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable telling me, she has my understanding on this issue but it's a bit of a stumbling block as I'm not sure 100% which couples we should pursue.

For example we met a really nice couple but guy had full beard, she has said in the past beards are a big no no for her , so I kinda didn't totally open myself up to the conversation with that guy, later turned out she thought he was a lovely guy.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Interesting! What you describe with the bearded guy is the kind of wonderful insight and one of the unexpected benefits that I like about the lifestyle- you learn things about each other that you might not know otherwise.

 

Some gentle encouragement on your part might be welcome. I'm NOT talking about pushing or being overbearing, but letting her know that you're OK with her liking that particular guy she just noticed. "Hey, honey, what do you think of that guy in the striped shirt?"

 

By the way, it's great that you two seem to be in agreement about your interest levels for all of the couples you've met so far. It's quite likely that you will not be this lucky all the time, though! You're bound to run into a couple where one of you is way more attracted than the other is. Given the vagarities of attraction, it's practically certain that this will happen sometimes. You are almost never equally attracted to your opposite number in another couple. In such cases, I recommend that, if one of you is simply not interested in playing with one member of a couple, you both pass on them.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

 

Always move at a pace that the slowest member is comfortable with.

 

We have 'code words' that convey if the other person is interested or not in a couple. If they are not, we move on. I think that she just isn't used to the idea of being able to say that she is attracted to another guy...it kind of goes against the 'normal' grain. Just keep letting her know that it's okay and she will hopefully warm up to the idea. Good luck on your next adventure. We await the update!