Dipped our toes into the water (1st post)

[MixxedCpl360 29]

Hello, we are brand new here and this is our very first post. We are MixxedCpl, both in our early 40's, married for going on 20 years with one young child (10). We have never looked into swinging although I have always been very interested in the LS for a long time- wife has always been resistant.

 

This past fall while making love, I randomly reminded wifey of my fantasy of seeing her eaten by another woman to orgasm. Not a whole lot was said about that, but about a week or two later we threw a birthday (hers)/anniversary house party and invited a few friends including a younger neighbor couple. The wife of the couple is cute. Well, my wife got pretty sauced (highly unusual for her) and to make a long story short she ended up giving oral to the neighbor wife after the rest of the guest had left. She did this in front of me and the neighbor husband and this was my wife's first time going down on another woman. She virtually had zero experience with bi sex and ate her like a champ! You would have thought she was a pro. She said she just did all of the things I do to her. Flattery will get you everywhere. The experience was awesome and surreal and for about 10 days after the party we were on a high sexually.

 

The girls got together a day or so later and agreed to do it for me in reverse (she eating my wife) in the near future. Well, after a couple of days my wife started feeling guilty and a little embarrassed (cuz she was drunk and doesn't remember much of that incident) and the other couple started having serious martial issues but fixed it (my wife was convinced it was because of what she and her did but it wasn't) the part 2 that was promised to me more than likely will not happen even though nothing further has been discussed.

 

So after that me and wifey began seriously discussing looking into swinging. After much discussion about rules, expectations etc., we decided to attend our first club just to see what it was like.

 

We decided to go on Dec. 30th for my birthday at a club in a suburb in a large city nearby. But lo and behold, I got that damn flu that weekend- sick as a dog. Had the fever, chills aches, etc. and was miserable. But wife, who rarely wears dresses (thinks she looks funny in the them because she was not blessed with curvy hips- a lie), bought a sexy form fitting short dress and she looked so milfy in it I could not stay home.

 

We made it to the club with me still feeling like death, signed in and got the orientation. We went to the VIP area where we could sit and watch. After a while, a single male who was hovering nearby got the courage and introduced himself and held my wife's hand a little to long for what I was used to in the vanilla world. I had to fight the urge to tell him to get lost, but he paid her a corny compliment- but she was looking so hawt I can't blame the guy. He wasn't her type at all anyways.

 

As time went on we started to loosen up and mingle. I tried to dance a couple of times, but after each song, felt like I needed a defib. Some sexy and not so sexy couples were there and then the sex in the play rooms began! People were naked and not ashamed, which was a new experience for both of us. Women were hollering as they were being pounded- it was sensory overload in a good way. The wife and I couldn't play, because I was extremely sick and she had issues to that would have prevented any action. She asked me straight up if I found any of the women attractive, and I saw a few- but to be honest, my wife was the hottest IMO. I saw tons of eyes on her when we walked in, and even a few women hit on her right in front of me.

 

At the end of the night, we met a guy who was there with his wife (but she was not with him when he struck up a conversation with us). He was very cool, but I was not in a good mood to chat and we were on our way out. My wife volunteered that she thought he was attractive (she has never told me she was attracted to another man before), but the weird thing was I did not feel an ounce of jealousy, which surprised me. His wife seemed attractive and had a little sexy flair about her. I wish we could have gotten to know them, since they happened to live about 40 minutes from us, but I was literally about ready to pass out.

 

The next morning we talked about the experience during the 2 hour ride home and breakfast, and both came away with a very positive feeling about the experience. We both wished we could have played with each other, and that was our only regret. We still have to work out how we would feel seeing each other with someone else, but we are taking baby steps right now. We are definitely looking forward to our next experience in the lifestyle, whatever that will be.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Sounds like you made the absolute best of it despite feeling ill, we also plan to take baby steps after our first club visit on Saturday.

I (mr) had some interest from a very sexy lady and when I looked over at my wife she had a very naughty glint in her eye as she watched this other woman rub my chest, I could tell immediately she was not in the slightest jealous, though obviously it was only mild touching.

I was keen to test how I would feel seeing her get attention from another man but in all honesty they were all so well behaved that nobody laid a finger on her lol, she had plenty of guys making no secret of the fact they enjoyed checking her out but none took it that step further.

I asked her later if she liked any of the guys and she said she felt proud that she was there with the most handsome man lol good answer I thought. I pressed her a bit more and it seems that she's not ready to openly say if she fancies someone, I talked to her about one of the couples we hit it off with and I said I would have been happy to take things further with them , her eyes lit up and she said " yeah but I'm sure you wouldn't let me have him because he's a really big guy" (over 6ft and well built) I said I would let her and at that we had some awesome sex.

I'm taking it that she liked that guy even though she still won't admit it lol

So yeah take it a step at a time

[padoc 1,703]

Its nice that you made a start, good luck as you move along. Something that you might want to consider. Swingers generally tend to be protective of their health, hence the emphasis on condoms that you see in clubs and in many profiles. In a club or other swinging situation the flu IS an STD, one that can ONLY be prevented by the carrier not subjecting potential playmates and even people in the same room to his infection. In your own words, you were "extremely sicK", you were also extremely selfish and inconsiderate.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Wow that's something I hadn't considered either , good point

[MixxedCpl360 29]

Its nice that you made a start, good luck as you move along. Something that you might want to consider. Swingers generally tend to be protective of their health, hence the emphasis on condoms that you see in clubs and in many profiles. In a club or other swinging situation the flu IS an STD, one that can ONLY be prevented by the carrier not subjecting potential playmates and even people in the same room to his infection. In your own words, you were "extremely sicK", you were also extremely selfish and inconsiderate.

 

I agree in retrospect going out with the flu was bit selfish on my part even though I made no contact with others not even kissing my wife I understand that portion of your point. However dontcha think its a little over the top to proclaim that someone with the flu basically had an STI that they were recklessly spreading which in my book is a serious accusation? It's not like I was making out with some woman knowing I was contagious. Point taken but I'll have to disagree with you on me potentially spreading an "STI" by showing up with the flu.

[padoc 1,703]

Id suggest you take a look at the CDC website and read about how a flu virus can be spread. If you are in a swingers club with the intent to meet and talk to couples so that you might engage in some sort of sexual activity, you are quite capable of passing on the flu virus through contact, sexual or otherwise. And no, I don't think it's "over the top" to suggest that your behavior put others at risk for infection. The flu is a virus, so is herpes and so is HIV. The fact is that the flu is even more easily transmitted than the other two which means that you were grossly inconsiderate of every other person you came in contact with that night and you put each one of them at risk of infection. Certainly herpes and HIV have more serious consequences but you knew that you were quite ill yet you chose to risk infecting others. Im sure everyone there that night would be happy to know that you were shedding virus with each breath, cough or sneeze.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Hello, MixxedCpl360, and welcome to SwingersBoard!

 

You have certainly had some adventures! I'm glad you have come here and told us about your first forays into the swinging lifestyle. There is a wealth of wisdom here, and lots of collective experience. I hope that, in addition to posting with your own questions and comments, you will poke around the forums and read up a bit about how others have navigated the lifestyle, and perhaps benefit from the experience of others.

 

About your first toe-dipping... There are a few people who have had happy and hot experiences with things happening on the spur of the moment. But those kinds of situations can be dangerous, especially if there's a significant "alcohol assist" to the proceedings. Had you two talked with the other couple about your wife going down on the other woman, making sure that both the other hubby and the other wife were cool with the idea before moving ahead? Even in a more obvious lifestyle context, like a club or swinger party, the courteous thing to do is to to make sure that all parties and spouses of parties are good with the play activities before beginning.

 

It's too bad that the other couple had issues immediately after this encounter, and good that, as you say, they seem to have resolved things. And even though the issues they were having are, as you say, unrelated to what happened between the two women, it's probably best that you let them be for a while, as you say you are doing.

 

On your second toe-dipping... I would also respectfully suggest that a day when you were sick with the flu was not the best day to come to the club. I know you were excited about the idea, but waiting until you were feeling better (and were not contagious) would have given both of you the opportunity for a more fun evening.

 

It is good that you had the chance to experience a guy flirting with your wife, and test how you would feel about it. And I'm glad that you feel more confident now that you might be OK. From what you describe, your wife has not had the chance to see you flirting with another woman, so that will be interesting. It's great that you two are talking about the question of how you will feel seeing each other playing with someone else. It's one of those things that you should talk about, but also recognize that you can not really know how you'll feel, until you are in the situation for real. It's kind of a leap of faith! If you feel both good with the idea, and have a solid relationship with lots of love, trust, and open, honest communication, then you will be confident to hold hands and take that leap of faith together!

[MixxedCpl360 29]

CoupleinMD79 thanks for the reply. To answer your questions yes there was some discussion prior. The girls had disappeared for a while to their house then into my bedroom where I walked in to see them sitting on the floor with our sex toys/outfits on the floor and them in a hushed discussion. Then after all the other guests had left my wife started a conversation with the other husband and me and I had no idea the girls had planned it. The issues they had was not from the party night but they had other issues that just happen to come to a head a few days afterwards. The timing made my wife feel responsible.

 

Yeah I didn't get to flirt (neither of us did) but for my wife to ask my opinion on which women I thought were hot without jealousy was a step forward. She has been very jealous in the past but she has taken control of her health the past 7 years and dropped a bunch of weight and got fit which has really helped her confidence. She still says she believes she would have a very hard time seeing me sexually with another woman and she said kissing and me performing oral on another woman would be a no-no at this moment in time. Now that could change one day. As far as me I don't know how I would feel about seeing her with another man. Part of me thinks it would be very hot seeing her in pleasure from a vantage point I cannot appreciate normally (she looks so damn good when she is coming) but I'm worried how I would feel about myself if I allowed another man to sex up my wife of 20 years. But like I said baby steps.