Curious if she is interested?

[curious cuple 50]

Hi everyone, mr here. So recently my wife and I have been talking about adding some spice to our sex life. I told her some things that the thought of really turns me on. Some of them involve another male and some of them just us 2, and one of them a female. Some of them more tame then others, probably the most tame one being that she's wearing a sexy low cut nighty just kinda dancing around the room while me and another male are enjoying the show. Another one is me sucking and licking one of her nipples while another male is licking and sucking on the other one at the same time, obviously we have a lot more talking to do.

 

She was wearing a sexy short nighty in bed when I got home, not sure if that means anything though. But she did share a concern about being selfish with each others body and sharing. I also expressed to her that my pleasure is seeing her pleasure if you understand what I'm saying. I know we have a lot more to talk about. But it seems to be going in the right direction. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Just keep exploring your fantasies in the bedroom, and then maybe try a club?

 

Being at a club surrounded by sexy people can be a wonderful thing and it kinda takes some of the mystique away and may make you both feel more comfortable about swinging in general, it also helps open up the lines of communication between you both.

 

I'm drawing on my own limited experience but swinging for us before we visited a club was very much a fantasy, we both liked the idea but weren't sure if we could ever really act on it after being monogamous for 20 years. After the club we now know that yes we could act out our fantasies in real life, we didn't swap that night, we just played with each other but being in that environment and seeing people act out their fantasies made us realise we are as ready as we'll ever be.

[GoldCoCouple 4,068]

Just keep talking. Any step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction. How knows what may come of this...

[curious cuple 50]

Thanks for the quick replies, very much appreciated. Yes more talking we will do. I wasn't sure how she'd react to the whole mmf thing, but to my surprise it went rather well. I may bring up going to a club of some sort also.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

I think you two are on the right track. Where it ends up nobody knows at this point, and trying to force it to a certain destination is a sure way to ensure it never gets there at all, but you seem to have one of the key ingredients of a swinging couple and that is great and open communication. After that comes open minds, and it is seems like that is there too.

 

I would just continue to take things slow and see where it leads. A good swingers club is a great way to introduce yourselves to swinging, but the key is to just go with no expectations other than having a fun night out together while you gather more information to help make your decision. I think some people make the mistake of thinking "I can't believe we're actually here, so I have to make the most of this one opportunity before she changes her mind". That is about the worst thing you can do. Swinging is built on trust, and when "we'll just go to look around" turns into "hey, I want to do more", then that trust is undermined right out of the gate.

 

Just take things slow and enjoy the journey and wherever it ends up will likely be the right place for you to be.

[curious cuple 50]

Just a little update for anyone curious. I didn't want to constantly bring it up so i left it alone for a few days. But we did talk some more and she was a little concerned that i was getting board with her, but after reassuring her that was not the case she felt better. I explained to her that i loved her and the sex we have rocks my world. Which made her smile, so we will see what happens as time goes by. But she has been extra horny lately which is always good for me.

[Sophia&David 29]

We have very loosely visited this topic over the years, and honestly, my first reaction was "he is bored, he needs new women", which killed my confidence for a long time. Keep talking it out, reassure her with words AND actions that she is your greatest love and desire. Be gentle and patient, and if it'S meant to be, then it will progress. Best wishes to you both!

[JustAskJulie 2,595]

Sounds like you are on the right track. Keep up the talking and see where it leads. Continue to share your fantasies and see where they go and where she takes them. Eventually, you will need to talk outside the bedroom about the realities of potentially pursuing said fantasies. Often, conversations go differently in the light of day than they do in the heat of passion.

[curious cuple 50]

Just to clarify, the last couple of conversations were out of the bedroom, just in case i wasn't clear about that. At the very least shes giving it some thought and thats all i can really ask for, but obviously there will be plenty more discussions about it. As always the replies are greatly appreciated, and this forum has been very helpful.

[Scaredstiff 129]

Maybe instead of saying do you want to swing ? A better question might be "would you like to find out more about swinging?" Less threatening maybe? Do some research together, watch the playboy tv show swing, get the swinger manual and read it together , both of those have been a big help to us starting out.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

And don't forget to invite her to read over your shoulder here!

[sassysassy 16]

I had a talk today with my spouse for the first time about bringing in someone else. Basically an entire couple so we can swap out...um I have never done that before....and he opened up the dialog and I'm interested. I say that because u will never know what ur partner is into unless u open up about what u like and share....she may be into some of all the things u are into

[Fundamental Law 2,903]

Starting "the conversation" about any alternative life style is a universal challenge. There are always three components, and labelling them can help structure the conversation.

 

1. The fantasy. Every alternative life style (biker, pilot, nudist, swinger) begins with a fantasy. The first two are a bit more socially acceptable than the last two on the list. Our point is that each is a fantasy until it is realized. It's worth thinking about how you share your daydreams and fantasies with your partner, and how s/he responds. There are only two ways to get to a positive response--your partner wants to indulge your fantasy, or your partner wants to joint you in your fantasy. Both are valid.

 

2. The intention, or how you propose to realize the fantasy. Look at a vacation home? Buy the motorcycle? First trip to a nude resort? First time at a house party? Now we're talking about actually doing something. There is inevitably a mixture of excitement and trepidation. As a consequence, there is almost always some form of negotiation. Foundational to every one of those negotiations are two attributes: honesty and honor. Coming to terms with the "why" question--why is this fantasy important to me (my partner)?--is essential. Swinging is unlikely to make both parties happy if one thinks it is arising out of sexual boredom with the other.

 

3. The boundaries, or how far are we both willing to go with realizing this fantasy? Boundaries do matter, even if they are eventually revised or even abandoned. The boundaries are really about the dimensions of the real world and the dimensions of the fantasy: what is our risk-tolerance? Boundaries give a sense of security. It may be real security. It may be illusory. But they are comforting and reassuring.