Fat guys in swinging

[bigman1126 15]

My wife and I are very interested in the swinging lifestyle. I am for a lack of a better word a fat guy. My wife is not fat, she is quite small. I am wondering what it is like for fat guys? We don't want to get in a situation where she has a ton of attention and I get none.

[funcoupledayton 2,708]

Being a woman, she will get a lot of attention. You will get less. That is something that happens in the lifestyle.

 

There are couples of all shapes and sizes. You are likely to find people you match up with. Especially if your wife is happy to play with bigger guys, you should have a good time.

 

I will say that the lifestyle is a great motivation to get in better shape. The sex part of it can take a lot of stamina compared to married in bed fooling around. So hopefully you'll find great couples to play with now, and you will be able to lose weight and feel better. I say this as someone who has lost and gained many times over the last ten years. I am heavy again now, but I am much happier and feel sexier when I am exercising. So I have gotten back to the gym again.

[padoc 1,704]

You will see many profiles where the couple lists among their likes HWP meaning height-weight proportionate. Attraction, at least at first in this hobby, is generally visual which is why couples post pictures. So, if you are obese, you're not going to get much attention at all.

[kikonkrome 844]

My wife and I are very interested in the swinging lifestyle. I am for a lack of a better word a fat guy. My wife is not fat, she is quite small. I am wondering what it is like for fat guys, we don't want to get in a situation where she has a ton of attention and I get none.

 

Don't get into the lifestyle, basically that's exactly what happens.

 

I am married to a beautiful woman. If I leave her alone at a bar in Vegas for ten minutes, some guy will be talking to her. At a swing club, if I go piss some guy will be talking to her. That's the way it goes. It sure beats the alternative, which is basically not being married to a beautiful woman. Amiright?

 

In regards to 'being a fat guy', kinda need to take charge of that? Get to the gym, watch what you eat, I think you get the idea. It'll help with your self confidence.

 

However you can be Huge Jacked Man, you still will not get the attention the girls get in the lifestyle. If you want to get it in...get a thicker skin.

 

Oh man I am just dropping dope lines!! Two in one paragraph!!

 

Good luck have fun.

[Lionheart72 2,191]

My wife and I are very interested in the swinging lifestyle. I am for a lack of a better word a fat guy. My wife is not fat, she is quite small. I am wondering what it is like for fat guys, we don't want to get in a situation where she has a ton of attention and I get none.

 

It really depends on the setting and on attitudes (theirs and yours). I've been to a swingers club where if you aren't in your 20-30's and at least an 8 out of 10, you wasted a trip. I've been to other clubs where plus sized people were welcomed and have a good time.

 

As a general rule, women do get more attention then men but again, it depends. In my experience, folks at clubs which are couples only (or couples who only play together with other couples) tend to be more focused on matching both parts of the couple.

 

Attitude, I believe, plays a big role. If you're confident, funny, polite, charming, friendly and outgoing you will do better than if you aren't. In my experience, women will pick a fat guy with a good attitude over a magazine model who acts like a jerk.

[DjRayder 43]

Yeah, just be prepared for the attention your wife is going to get. As kikonkrome stated if you want to have a long life in this lifestyle you need to also live a healthy lifestyle. Best bet is to contact other couples who are bbw if you really fear rejection. meet at a club and take it from there. But if your wife is thin as you say just be mindful that she might want to play with other men who are tens. So just keep that in the back of your mind.

 

Someone just posted something about a similar subject not to long ago where she just played with tens and he would only get to play with girls that are bbw. Good luck man hope everything works out for you.

[GuyInMD79 1,500]

Hello, bigman1126, and welcome to SwingersBoard!

 

It's true that women get more attention than men do. That is just a reality of the lifestyle. That said, I have seen guys who are plus-sized, who are great, fun, interesting, outgoing, comfortable, friendly people, who can have fun in the lifestyle. This really is a continuum- a range, rather than a binary "always get attention" vs "always get ignored" kind of thing. Will you get less attention than the trim, six-pack-abs guys? In general, probably. But I still think that you can have fun in the lifestyle, if you are all those things I mentioned earlier, along with developing a thick skin!

 

You might want to ensure that you work out some sex positions that will be comfortable and enjoyable for your potential play partners. A while back, my wife and I had a play date with a fun couple, that included a large guy. He and my wife played in one position that worked out well, that was comfortable and pleasurable. But they switched at some point to a variation of missionary, and my wife was feeling a bit smothered during that part.

[SW_PA_Couple 4,026]

. . . . Attitude, I believe, plays a big role. If you're confident, funny, polite, charming, friendly and outgoing you will do better than if you aren't. In my experience, women will pick a fat guy with a good attitude over a magazine model who acts like a jerk.

This matches my experience, for sure.

 

I'll lay another interpretation on what other members have already said. Even if you are Fabio, your wife will get more attention. That's just the way it is.

 

WELCOME to Swingersboard.

[kikonkrome 844]

Even if you are Fabio, your wife will get more attention. That's just the way it is.

 

You know I have actually met Fabio at a (vanilla) party, he get's a lot of attention!! We also thought he was really nice. However. he got more attention than my wife.

 

So if you do happen to actually be Fabio, you will probably get more attention than the women. If you just look like Fabio, probably not.

[Guest]

Yes, certainly woman get more attention than men. They get it from both men and women. I think one of the surprises my hubby has had in swinging is that I probably play with as many “fat guys” as one that are not so much. He is a big, well built guy, assumed I would go after the same but perhaps a bit younger. To his surprise, I tend to go on personality, not physique. Its kind of like, if I want a big, muscular guy to do me, I will do him. When we are swinging, I’m must out for an enjoyable evening.

[Napoleon 230]

The odds are heavily against you if you're a overweight man. Overweight women and physically fit women want physically fit men, and most men are sexually desperate and will have sex with overweight women so this make physically fit and overweight women in demand. The vast majority of women( even overweight women) won't want to have sex with an overweight man even if those women are fat and overweight themselves.

 

Just focus on getting in supreme physical shape and physically fit beautiful women will let you have sex with them.

[padoc 1,704]

I agree with almost everything Nappy wrote. One of the things we've discovered about ourselves is that swinging has encouraged us to stay reasonably fit. When we started I weighted 215, Mrs Doc was around 155. We recognized that maturing human adults tend to grow outward as they age and we saw early on that very overweight people got a lot less attention at clubs, resorts and swinger events. Consequently, we've made a concerted effort and actually lost weight since we started 15 years ago. Im currently at 205 and Mrs Doc hovers between 140-145. It would be much easier for us to be 20-30 lbs heavier but then our sex life would suffer. She says that much of the sexy clothing on Venus and other sites are designed for women who are h/w/p. Its way easier to dress sexy, there are way more selections for women who are relatively trim.

[Fla-swing99 136]

Just focus on getting in supreme physical shape and physically fit beautiful women will let you have sex with them.

 

Just my feelings on this as the female half of a couple but, I don't care how physically fit and good looking a guy is, if he opens his mouth and is a total asshole there is no chance of playing with me. I have met super hot men with shitty attitudes that I would not give them the time of day and I have met some men that I would consider average or maybe even not very good looking, not talking dog ugly here mind you, but their personality was fantastic and so attractive that I wanted to play with them.

 

Obviously we all start off based on looks, if we are attracted to what we see but, once you begin to talk with them its the personality that can really make or break them.

[Napoleon 230]

Just my feelings on this as the female half of a couple but, I don't care how physically fit and good looking a guy is, if he opens his mouth and is a total asshole there is no chance of playing with me. I have met super hot men with shitty attitudes that I would not give them the time of day and I have met some men that I would consider average or maybe even not very good looking, not talking dog ugly here mind you, but their personality was fantastic and so attractive that I wanted to play with them.

 

Obviously we all start off based on looks, if we are attracted to what we see but, once you begin to talk with them its the personality that can really make or break them.

 

 

Ok. But supremely physically fit men with or without a quote unquote "nice personality" will automatically get plenty of physically fit attractive women to have sex. They wont be short on women to have sex with. And I know a lot of asshole men who easily get women all the time.

[samandtammi 99]

Swinging can be a lot like dating. People are looking for someone who attracts them (first). I totally agree with Fl-Swinger that anyone with a hot body and a bad attitude is of no interest to me at all. I will play with a guy who is big (I used to be married to someone heavy) if he appeals to me. A warm and friendly personality is more important to me than a hot body.

 

As for women getting more attention, My current hubby and I are both in good shape. We work out and take care of ourselves. I think he's very hot yet I get way more attention in a club than he does, which surprises me!

[Sawman 84]

You might have better luck online than in a club for many reasons not the least of which is access to women who enjoy the idea of a fat man. It all depends on the four-way chemistry and that is hard to establish in a public situation. Be clear in your profile. It's about attitude and passion not body-mass index.

[Billygoat 445]

Our experiences have been and still are much different than I read from others here.

 

We attend house parties and clubs that tend to operate as house parties but at a commercial location.

 

Most are regulars. A variety of ages....skin tone...body build etc etc.

 

We have as many average and more than average attendees as far as looks and body style. The other 40% or so are larger....some very large women and men.

 

Everyone has their likes and dislikes. But for the most part I think most go to personality and attitude.

 

Sure there are gym rat clubs....the beautiful people club etc. but you want a great time....join the regular folks at a fun party that limits single/solo male attendees....this is so the ladies and couples all have an even playing field....not competing with a wolf pack. Lol.

 

Sure many are attracted by looks. But our experience that the real fun starts when people mingle....talk...laugh....and that is when the real fun happens.

 

If you got game....and some skills....you will not lack partners. And you always have each other. You can play with each other at a party. Sometimes makes the others wonder what they might be missing....