How many couples do both same room and separate room?

[Guest Dvssgrbby]

Do you do both same room and separate room swinging? I have had couples ask me this of my hubby and I, and was just wondering if this is common or not?

[sexypairca 41]

We play together(same or seperate room) and seperate(single), both works for us. We don't play seperate often but it is fun once in awhile.

 

I think that you will find most couples not only play together but also same room.

 

Annette

[Handyman69 15]

When we first embarked on this lifestyle we agreed we would only play together as a couple...we prefer same room/same bed. We once used separate rooms as the couple we were with thought that is what they wanted. The last time we were with them they were comfortable with same room but still different beds...that was OK as we could still watch each other.

[biblonde 22]

We like it if we play together, we have been in separate rooms once but it is more fun if all four are together. We like watching each other and that way us girls can play whenever we wish. As for one of us playing alone...NO WAY. We only play as a couple, we both play or neither of us play. I have been asked if i would play alone without him and well....we dont talk to those people that ask that of us.

 

I do know a couple though that is cool with the man going off and playing without her. I dont get it but that is something they dont mind. Everyone has a comfort level and well...ours is as a couple.

[BiloxiCouple 695]

We normally party together. But once in a while we play separately. But we have an understanding about this and also talk about it afterwards.

[thump29 16]

We usually play together as well, on occasion we will play seperate but it is not often that we do that.

[fun_pairTX 26]

We play together only, same room preferably in one big ass bed.

 

This is the way we started and was our first premise for ourselves, we will finish swinging someday the same way.

[Michcouple 15]

We usually only play together. However, there has been a few times when we've played apart. Only after both of us felt very comfortable with the sititution.

[yawanna 17]

The only couples we know of that swung separately ended up separating.

 

It hasn't worked for the benefit of a couple, in our experience.

[angihay 15]

We do play both together and apart. Solo I would call it we have kids and not always easy to find a sitter but never without consent from the other person or people.

[good times 991]

My wife and I tried swinging separately once (each) and we decided we didn't care for it, we will only play together now. Separate rooms is ok but we prefer same room.

[Curious40 15]

We are still pretty new to this lifestyle, but I know that we decided to only play together NEVER seperately. In my opinion, (and I understand it's just my opinion) I believe that if you start playing alone with other people it's like you are cheating on your partner, Isn't the whole point to this lifestyle is being able, and willing, to share your experiences with the people you love the most.

[queenjames 15]

We have done it separate but I strongly believe my husband wants to be there at all times, so I think we may becoming to an agreement that we must do it together... as long as we're enjoying it I don't care

[leftcoastcouple 32]

While I really enjoy watching my wife engaged in pleasure with another person--I've only had the opportunity to do so once, with two other guys--I get nearly as turned on, and in some ways more, by the prospect of her being with someone without me there. She's done it on several occasions, and yes, the jealousy about killed me the first time, but once I came to terms with it--recognizing that it was a major part of the overwhelming excitement her activity created within me--it stopped bothering me.

 

In fact, though she hasn't done it in years, I get extremely excited just thinking about her sleeping with a guy and then coming home and sharing the intimate details (description, appearance, smells...and other things!). It's hard to explain, but I supposed there is a largely masochistic element (which is odd, because I have zero interest in anything remotely S&M-like)--not knowing where she is, wondering what's happening, not being able to stop it once she's left, etc. But it also goes back to more traditional "sharing" aspects of swinging--enjoying the fact that she's attractive to someone else, enjoying her being sexually independent, etc.

 

If you can honestly say that jealousy is not an issue for you when you swing, then I have a hard time understanding why allowing your partner to play--with your knowledge and consent--would bother you. I say that without judging. I'm just confused. And curious to understand.

 

Having said all that, have there been threads in the past specifically about "same room vs separate room?" As the wife and I consider swinging, I've found just about every answer and discussion I've looked for on this fabulous board, except this one. And it's something she and I have slightly different opinions on and need to discuss further. Any help?

[Amy and Mike 16]

leftcoast couple...

I can relate completely to what you're saying. As my wife Amy could tell you, I get extremely turned on by her telling me her fantasies involving other men. She was kind of surprised to find that I was so aroused by it and not jealous at all.

 

As we contemplate swinging, I dont think I could ever see us going off and playing individually. I think i'd always be uncomfortable with that and so would she. I have to admit though that its easy to fantasize about her doing that. Like you, the idea of my wife being sexually independant is very appealing.

[SilkyWmn 15]

Hello I am new here but wanted to say that my hubby and I have been swinging for 6 yrs now. We finally decided to swing seperate and so far so good. No problems so far have arised from this. We have talked about who we are comfortable with and have to have permission before things start. But its all in the communication or it won't work.

[BradAndJanet 70]

Quote

Originally posted by leftcoastcouple

...Having said all that, have there been threads in the past specifically about "same room vs separate room?" As the wife and I consider swinging, I've found just about every answer and discussion I've looked for on this fabulous board, except this one. And it's something she and I have slightly different opinions on and need to discuss further. Any help?

Here's just one of many.

 

Same Room Couples

 

We've done it both ways. Each is different, but fun it it's own way.

 

I found separate rooms to be quite exciting, because there's something almost illicit and 'naughty' about being alone with another woman. There's also the element of not knowing what J is up to and my imagination runs wild.

 

Same room, however, has been great too, especially in threesome and foursome combinations. Wow! Someday, I'd love to try more-somes

 

Variety is what I really like, so we'll probably continue to do both, depending on circumstances and our moods.

[leftcoastcouple 32]

Thanks, BradandJanet. Appreciate the help. Plus, stupid me had not yet tried a Boolean search, and now that I have, I've found even more useful threads.

 

You've also given me food for thought by suggesting it doesn't have to be an "either/or" proposition. As you say, each has its own elements of excitement to offer, and employing them at different times could offer variety and different sorts of fun.

 

Until now, as my wife and I have discussed this, I've been biased toward same room. But you reminded me, as I related in the "Green Eyed Monster" on the HELP board, how "not knowing" nearly drove me insane with lustful thoughts when my wife years ago spent the night on several occasions with a male friend of ours. The first night she did so may well have been the horniest 18 hours of my life, as the mix of jealousy, lust, and overwhelming curiosity had my mind running absolutely wild. Having that experience again simultaneously mixed with my own swapping encounter sounds like a whole lot of fun.

 

Ah, so much to think about. And all fun to think about, too!

[BettyAnnMBSC 24]

We always play together. That doesn't mean we both have to be in the same room or even be active participants, but we are always within range of each other.

 

We (like many others) have found that this very much diminishes the chance of serious emotional attachments and jealousy.

 

We've found too though that sometimes we find ourselves with a partner that we can react to differently (or the partner reacts differently) if the other is not in the room at the time.

 

An example: About a month ago, I loaned my hubby to a very inexperienced young friend of mine for her "first lesson". She was concerned that I would laugh at her lack of knowledge were I in the room that first time so I watched TV in the living room. [hubby taped the experience and then gave her the tape afterwards and said "we can destroy this right now or you can give it Betty..." she gave me the tape and we watched it together ] She is now a regular FMF playmate.

 

My point is that we were both present (just not in the same room)at the time and there were no secrets at all. Had she wanted to go to a motel room alone with him or to visit while I wasn't home then that would have been a no-no.

 

Another example of how "together" can mean different things to different people.

[Alura 2,775]

We've each tried playing separately once but decided it was not as much fun. We feel the same way about separate rooms, although we've done that a lot. One couple we played with for a long time preferred separate rooms, at least the wife did. We'd really rather be together in the same room, but we can be flexible.

[2newbies 15]

Our first experience was separate. I was with someone first. A few days later he was with someone. We of course shared the experience by talking about it, which was very hot.

 

We have decided that we would rather be together from now on. It is more fun to watch what is going on. We haven't ruled out the single thing, but it will probably be while the other watches...and maybe joins in...lol

 

the more the merrier

[tamster6584 15]

Hmm, what a variety of topics rolled into one!

 

My hubby and I have been swingers and partners for almost two decades. I don't think there is a variation of meetings that we haven't tried. Do we have a preference? Yes, we prefer to meet with other couples, as a couple. What we do from there, depends on everyone's comfort levels. Same room or separate room, both are fine, both have their advantages and disadvantages. Same room, you can watch your partner (which those voyeurs out there, like me, will understand the appeal of!). But, its not as intimate, and focusing on whats going on just with yourself can be difficult. Separate room, you lose the lovely sight of your partner enjoying giving and receiving and trading all the fun they are having, but you gain the benefit of privacy and less thereby less distractions.

 

Now, as for the other question, playing as a couple or playing separately. For years and years, we only played together. As we have grown older and more mature, and more secure with each other, we do sometimes play without each other. There are many rules and restrictions we abide by, though. We only play individually with couples (or part of a couple) that we have been with together, or have known well enough to feel safe with ( or that we our partner is safe with). We don't play with someone alone without the knowledge and approval of the other. We always let each other know when and where we will be. We always leave contact information. And, we ALWAYS have safe sex, just as we would if we were playing together. And another big rule, we don't EVER play with someone who's playing without the approval of THEIR partner. That's not swinging, in our opinion its cheating. We're here for everyone's fun, not to ruin people's lives or help them ruin someone elses.

 

*PHEW* that was long winded! Pardon me, while i get down off my soap box; it was starting to work its way under my feet there for a few minutes.

 

*wink* Tami (and Charlie!)

[2newbies 15]

We feel the same way playing without partner's knowledge. that is cheating. We have decided that we would rather play together. If we do play separate, it is people that we know and trust. We also try to make friends with the couples we want to play with before we actually play, that way we know if we are compatible.