Want to swing but concerned about jealousy

[katcha 28]

Hi....new to the board.

 

My g/f and I are new to the scene. We started speaking about it 2 years ago, and have attended a few clubs starting about 6 months ago. We are moving at her pace.

 

Since going, we pretty much stick with ourselves, but she gave a short blowjob while I was fucking her from behind. It was exhilarating, and I know she wants to eventually fuck another male or more as she was really turned on by it. I liked it too.

 

I would also like to swing with other ladies, but she seems hesitant to let me due to jealousy. She thinks in the longer term when she gets accustomed to this, she will be more willing. I am concerned that this jealousy won't pass, and I will never get her permission.

 

My fear is it will cause problems in our relationship, which is the last thing we want to have happen. We have agreed that we need to protect our relationship at all costs.

 

Does anyone have any experience or thoughts they can share? Any suggestions on how to address this?

 

Many thanks.

 

Katcha

[njbm 2,881]

If you have a strong relationship, you may not have jealousy issues. But you never know till you swap. If it's a problem, don't swap.

[JandKinBoise 858]

My wife is pretty jealous. We have almost always limited ourselves to mmf. That keeps her and I happy. I guess if I was really wanting to have another woman, it could be a problem. But, we just go with what we are comfortable with.

[Miss_Piggy 98]

Maybe the jealousy will never pass and you'll never get that permission. I think you protect your relationship by accepting that possibility completely. If you're operating as though you are on a path with this goal that must eventually be reached then (in my humble opinion) you're putting a devestatingly large stress on your relationship. Protect your relationship by exploring this lifestyle as much as is fun for you and respecting each other's boundaries with gentle compassion and without heavy expectations.

[afterwork 89]

Sounds like you two are not on the same page. If she wants to be intimate with another male, especially one that has a female already into the game, then there are more than just you two with a conflict. The other couple have feelings as well.

 

Worse, if the other fellow is content with your relationship as a third party then you have more problems than you can balance.

 

Guess we are old fashioned. If Momma wants, Momma get, but unless the intent was to not truly enjoy the lifestyle, then someone is confusing the concept. Poppa needs to enjoy while health permits.

 

We discussed your posting and both come away with the same concern. Both of you better participate fully, or just ignore the lifestyle. Currently, you are heading smack into an abyss that will leave haunting...."what if...."

[katcha 28]

Sounds like you two are not on the same page. If she wants to be intimate with another male, especially one that has a female already into the game, then there are more than just you two with a conflict. The other couple have feelings as well.

 

Worse, if the other fellow is content with your relationship as a third party then you have more problems than you can balance.

 

Guess we are old fashioned. If Momma wants, Momma get, but unless the intent was to not truly enjoy the lifestyle, then someone is confusing the concept. Poppa needs to enjoy while health permits.

 

We discussed your posting and both come away with the same concern. Both of you better participate fully, or just ignore the lifestyle. Currently, you are heading smack into an abyss that will leave haunting...."what if...."

 

Thanks....that's an interesting observation.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Love/trust/communication: Sounds like you are not as strong in the trust and communication department as you could be. Work more on both of these and find out how she is feeling about what you have done so far and how far she is (at this time) willing to go. Jealousy usually has to do with a relationship not being strong enough, and the initial impression I get ("...have attended a few clubs starting about 6 months ago" and "...she gave a short blowjob while I was fucking her from behind") she isn't into the swinging thing and is doing it to humor you.

 

"I am concerned that this jealousy won't pass, and I will never get her permission."...if she IS only doing it for you, then this is probably true and you won't ever get her permission. What is more important to you: swinging or her? I would pick one at this time and put the other on hold for awhile. Either way, you need to talk to her about this and see where she is in regards to it. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

Sadly, the only way to know if jealousy is going to rear it's ugly head is to go ahead and swap then talk about it after. I know my wife was a little worried about jealousy at first as well. Well, not really worried, but when we talked about it she basically said, "I can't tell you how I am going to feel until I feel it. I can tell you all day long that I won't be jealous, but when I see you fucking another woman, I might be, I don't know. What I can tell you is, I agreed we are going to do this, so I will not hold it against you if I do feel jealous. We'll talk about it after it happens and go from there." Really, that's all there is to it. I'm not sure if truer words of wisdom were ever spoken. You can not predict how you are going to feel until you feel it.

[GoldCoCouple 4,066]

Trust is the enemy of jealousy...

[PSULioness 859]

We are extremely new to this. I cheated on my boyfriend with a couple. It was my first time with a woman. Out of guilt I admitted it. It caused a terrible jealous rage. I have since convinced him to a ffm. At first I felt jealous. He sensed it and our first time he held back. I have since assured him that I wanted him to enjoy. I still am not sure if we can go to the next step of me with a guy. Right now I am fine with acting out my bisexual side I didn't know I had. And I enjoyed him being there. My own jealousy was overshadowed by my pride in my guy. He said he thinks I am jealous.