New to online swinging sites and we are hesitant to send out face pics

[Fantasyfetish99 18]

My wife and I have recently started exploring swinger sites for the first time and we are both surprised at how many people just openly put a face pic on their profile or have no problem emailing a face pic. With that being said, we aren't too keen on doing this. The reason I am bringing this up, is because we posted on Craigslist just to see what types of weird responses we would get, in which we were not disappointed. However... One gentleman sent us a face pic without us asking and of course... It was someone we recognized.

 

The problem is that we live in a city that is a decent size, but everyone seems to be connected in some damn way. We could probably go to a random party and know a few people there or people will know us through their friends.

 

We're slightly paranoid that we are going to send our face pics to a stranger and that it actually turns out to be someone that we know. It's not like we are politicians and are trying to avoid a scandal, but this is something that would be embarrassing to explain to our families or co-workers if word ever got out.

 

So I was thinking... When we do send a pic through messages/emails, would it be wise to just use a pic from Facebook that anyone could have access to? That way we could always just claim that it isn't us and someone stole our pic off our profile. This may sound ridiculous to some, but it is honestly a concern to us.

[Fundamental Law 2,885]

As Shakespeare's Sir John Falstaff remarked, "Discretion is the better part of valor." Disclosing your identity is something that cannot be undone. We would suggest not using a photograph from Facebook because there are so many photo matching tools available on the web (example: TinEye). Sometime prior to meeting another person/couple, you will have to exchange identities on some level. As for house parties, it cuts both ways: people therefore tend to be discreet. "What happens in Vegas", etc.

 

The fear of being "outed" is common. It happens rarely, and yet you have to reasonably consider the consequences. What adults do, and especially what a married couple does, is their own business. While you might run into someone you know in the LS (at a party perhaps), it is simple enough to acknowledge the recognition and move on.

[cplnuswing 4,713]

Your concern is a common one, and everyone has different strategies on maintaining their discretion. You're on the right track with the Facebook pic but FundamentalLaw brings up a good point about being able to match pics online, which lets someone start putting two and two together. So maybe the way to think of that would be to send Facebook-like pics, but not the same ones you have on Facebook (or any other social media site). Basically, no nudity or anything too over the top. That way, if the pic gets out, no harm done.

 

Our standard practice in the lifestyle on many different subjects is to start slow and then build from there. Applied to this example, the first pics you see of us, we are going to be selective about what we send along the lines of what I described above. Once we've corresponded some and we have a good feeling, then you might see a little more. Once we've met and have a good feeling, then you might see more yet. Simply put, give the trust time to build in steps instead of awarding it all at once based on very limited info.

[hkdilbert 182]

Another option would be to do some photo editing to blur out part of the face. We've done this with our photos here for example. It's not perfect and people that know us well can most likely identify us. It is a compromise "solution" to be sure but it works for some.

[Scaredstiff 129]

I feel your pain on this subject.

 

It's already been said but absolutely make sure that pictures linked to your profile are not present on any of your other social media accounts, they can be reversed searched and anywhere they appear on the Internet will come up , Facebook profile, twitter, whatever.

 

Same goes for phone numbers, since we traded numbers with a couple so we could use whatsapp for messages I get constantly reminded by Facebook that I might know this person, we trust them so it's not an issue this time.

 

If you want to have facepics keep them to the bare minimum (maybe just one) and make sure it's a normal everyday fully clothed pic, that way if it ever does get into the wrong hands you can claim that the pic is obviously stolen.

 

I'm not that bothered about being recognised but my wife is completely the other end of the scale and we have had couples become uninterested in us because we made them wait too long for a face pic, no sweat , we guess it wasn't meant to be.

 

If anonymity is important to you , it's impossible to be too careful

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

Our face pics are in a separate album that only people we have friended can see. We don't friend people unless we have messaged a few times and ae comfortable sharing our pictures. That helps a bit for us at least.

 

The other side of things to think about is if someone you know does see you, what were they doing on the site? Are they really going to want to out you if they are also in the lifestyle? They'd be outing themselves. Even if they don't admit it, what were they doing on that site then? For them to find you, they had to be actively looking on the site as well. I feel that alone would prevent anyone from outing you, they'd have to admit they were on that site as well.

[Tikiandclown 42]

We are kind of the opposite end of this. We told (most) of our family and friends we were in the lifestyle. We are of the mindset of, folks find out? its our life, if they don't approve? Fuck em' (pun not intended)

[afterwork 89]

Unless you know how to regenerate a file that has been blurred, beware...it can be "unblurred." The ability to remain private in the age of the internet is becoming more and more difficult.

 

We agree that any pictures that reveal your identity are a risk. Not trying to add to anxiety, but even the "sexy" pictures should consider the background content. It is amazing how much can be derived about the subject(s) simply by not noticing what items are in the background when the shot was taken.

 

GIMP is a freeware software that enables one to modify the image. Recommend that you make certain no image contains any "geotags" as well. In the "old days," we had to contend with magazines and PO Boxes sprinkled with Polaroid photography. Tough then, tough now....but, we have enjoyed the LS experience.

 

Just move with caution.

 

PS: Our public meetings (meet and greets) are always in daylight and in very public places. Amazing how many folks feel safer meeting on a Sunday afternoon. That is generally when folks seen our face.