Not quite swinging -- or is it?

[SJBluebirds 194]

Not sure if this 'counts' as a 'swing' experience, so we'd like some feedback.

 

Years ago, we would vacation with friends of ours. Two married couples: no kids, yet, hitting the resorts and relaxing on vacation

 

We'd always get adjoining rooms -- the hotel rooms where there's a doorway between them and can be locked or unlocked depending on whether you know the people next door. Obviously, we *did* know these people, so it worked out to be kind of a suite for the four of us. But we'd each retire for the night to separate rooms.

 

Mrs SJB and I would enjoy knowing they could hear us making love in the next room. Almost without exception, they'd have sex, too, and we'd feed off each other's sexual energy through the wall and through the door. We never spoke about it, but it was plain that they could hear us as well as we could hear them, and it seemed that the four of us were having sex with our own spouse, with the other couple participating.

 

Eventually kids came for all of us, and vacations became infrequent. Families slept together, and what with kids in the same room, sex just stopped on vacation.

We still vacationed in adjoining rooms; only we started having 'sleepovers', where all the kids (ages 5-8) camped-out in one of the rooms with a movie and popcorn before going to bed, while the four parents relaxed in the other room. Each couple in separate beds once the kids were tucked-in.

 

And we had sex. With our own spouse, never speaking to the other couple, and in the darkness: We couldn't really watch, but we could hear the other couple a mere five feet away and they could hear us. Even with the lights off, there was enough shadow and sound and overheard whispers to know who's on top, or what position or who was going down on whom.

 

One time, the beds were close enough that by reaching out, wives held hands while husbands were between their legs. We would build our climaxes not just with our spouse, but in time with and feeding off the other couple's energy. These vacations are what got us talking about playing with other couples in the first place.

 

Nothing was ever said between us and our friends about any of this. Ever. Mrs. SJB assures me the women still have never spoken of it, either.

 

So here's the question: Is this a form of swinging? It's definitely sexual, and two couples are involved -- but there's no cross-contact. Where does this fall on the spectrum of swing-play?

 

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

[SA_NewtoLS 163]

IMO, that falls just short of a soft-swap, very close but not quite there. Soft-swap is where you basically swap for foreplay, but don't actually have sex with the other spouse. Definitely a great first step towards swinging, but if there was not any contact with the other spouse, not quite swinging. Definitely a great experience and sounds very exciting though.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

It's (almost) the very definition of 'same room sex'. Two couples having sex in the same room (but usually with the lights on). If I had to make the call, I would say 'yes' it qualifies as swinging. How many other couples do you think have had this type of experience? It sounds like it was very hot...

[Scaredstiff 129]

Sounds like a really hot experience, amazing that you've all resisted talking about it for so long

[SJBluebirds 194]

Sounds like a really hot experience, amazing that you've all resisted talking about it for so long

 

Well, it has to do with the fact that this couple is NOT one of our play-couples, just our really close 'vanilla' friends. The experiences are what got us thinkng about exploring the local swing club for the first time.

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

More than likely they want to talk about it as well, but since nobody has brought it up yet, the sleeping dog is left lying (as in lays, not as in not telling the truth). If something is said, the magic might be broken. Is this still going on or has it faded away with them?

[SJBluebirds 194]

More than likely they want to talk about it as well, but since nobody has brought it up yet, the sleeping dog is left lying (as in lays, not as in not telling the truth). If something is said, the magic might be broken. Is this still going on or has it faded away with them?

 

It's faded away, sadly.

 

They're still our Very Dear Friends, and we share a room with them when we vacation together. But now that the kids are older (10 - 13), and in the other room, we refrain because they're in the next room and stay up later than we do, watching their movies and fun. Also, they're pretty smart -- we don't want awkward questions from them that we'd rather not answer!

[GoldCoCouple 4,065]

Sounds like it hasn't totally disappeared though. In another 7-10 years the kids will be doing their own things and not even want to be vacationing with the parents. It may just be on hold...

[GMOFLEISURE 221]

Sounds like it hasn't totally disappeared though. In another 7-10 years the kids will be doing their own things and not even want to be vacationing with the parents. It may just be on hold...

 

Was gonna say...

 

But, really, why wait? Life is short, the grownups deserve some special time. Schedule a parents time out, enough days to truly relax, somewhere with hint of sybari, & a private hot tub where you all can relax naked. It should be possible from there.

[intuition897 2,179]

Okay, first off, yes. That's definitely a form of swinging. Mr. intuition and I both agree. It's also fucking hot.

 

What is the definition of swinging? Basically anything that falls outside of traditional monogamy due to the couple's adventurous spirit. You have entered the swinging 'spectrum'. Even if you haven't formally discussed it, there's an unspoken understanding, and yeah, as long as everyone is cool with that, it totally qualifies. I have to say, that's awesome. Delicious.

[SJBluebirds 194]

Just a follow-up a couple of years after the initial post...

 

We're scheduling a weekend away with our friends at a resort in April of '24.  Just the four of us without the kids (because the kids are older -- some are even off at college!).

 

Should we have separate rooms like we used to?  Or should we share the room?

[njbm 2,868]

2 hours ago, SJBluebirds said:

Just a follow-up a couple of years after the initial post...

 

We're scheduling a weekend away with our friends at a resort in April of '24.  Just the four of us without the kids (because the kids are older -- some are even off at college!).

 

Should we have separate rooms like we used to?  Or should we share the room?

Separate rooms. It adds sexual tension. Also, if things don’t work out, you are separated. We have vacationed with lifestyle friends and always have separate rooms. 

[SJBluebirds 194]

47 minutes ago, njbm said:

Separate rooms. It adds sexual tension. Also, if things don’t work out, you are separated. We have vacationed with lifestyle friends and always have separate rooms. 

Some very good reasons to have two adjoining rooms -- just like the old days!

[TeamCalgary 168]

We call what has transpired here a "parallel"; two lines that cross but never touch. 

In our experience, it is what some couples use as an entryway into swinging; if it goes well and everyone is comfortable, 

they move on, frequently to a soft swap. 

[lcmim 1,081]

Side note for everyone's convenience.

We hope that this saves on both confusion and frustration when making a booking.

 

We learned this through experience. 

In Hotel terms  Adjoining = next to. Connecting = next to with a door between.

 

Many  Handicap Accessible rooms are also Connecting for a caregiver and have  large walk in showers. 

 

Connecting rooms rarely have equal sleeping accommodations. ( Hardly ever two Kings or two sets of Queens.)

 

Just to stay on topic, the vote here is yes it is.

On the tame side for sure but it is together , done with at least one person not in the marriage , and is enhancing to your sex life as a couple.

[NC_Seniors 518]

12 minutes ago, TeamCalgary said:

two lines that cross but never touch. 

Sorry, TC … but that’s incorrect. Parallel lines are lines that lie on the same plane and are always equidistant from each other.  Two lines that cross — even if they’re in different planes and never touch — aren’t parallel. BUT! I think that in the case of same bed play, it’s still a reasonably appropriate use of the term since the two couples are supposed to remain on their own sides and never touch … well, not on purpose anyway! 😂

[oldswinger64 111]

4 minutes ago, NC_Seniors said:

Sorry, TC … but that’s incorrect. Parallel lines are lines that lie on the same plane and are always equidistant from each other.  Two lines that cross — even if they’re in different planes and never touch — aren’t parallel. BUT! I think that in the case of same bed play, it’s still a reasonably appropriate use of the term since the two couples are supposed to remain on their own sides and never touch … well, not on purpose anyway! 😂

Except in art, where parallel lines meet on the horizon.

[NC_Seniors 518]

1 hour ago, oldswinger64 said:

Except in art, where parallel lines meet on the horizon.

Actually, it happens in real life too … just look down a long set of railroad tracks.
It’s a really good thing that the trains shrink as the tracks get closer together!

😂

[SJBluebirds 194]

21 hours ago, NC_Seniors said:

 Two lines that cross — even if they’re in different planes and never touch — aren’t parallel.

Two lines that lie in separate planes that are not mutually parallel (think "North-South Bridge over an East-West Road"), are called "Skew" lines -- I used to teach HS geometry, LOL!

 

To make matters more complicated, not only can you have Parallel lines, you can have "anti-parallel" lines, too!  They're lines that have direction: one goes left-right, the other goes right-left.  They never touch, but have opposite directions.

[TeamCalgary 168]

21 hours ago, oldswinger64 said:

Except in art, where parallel lines meet on the horizon.

Correct, our mistake, two lines that stay equidistant to one another and never meet. That's likely a better definition. Thank you. 

[William2001 53]

Two couple that never meet are monogamous, 

 

🤣

[TnA83 305]

Two girls that hold hands while their respective men orally pleasure them is very sexy.  A lifestyle variant for sure!

[bbarnsworth 2,637]

On 12/5/2023 at 3:34 PM, SJBluebirds said:

Should we have separate rooms like we used to?  Or should we share the room?

I'd go with the connecting rooms like you used to have. There's a chance things may happen again!

 

This story reminds me of my then girlfriend and I on vacation. A very good friend of mine joined us for part of the vacation, and we all stayed in the same room. One night, my girlfriend and I were having sex with her on top. At first, she was completely under the blanket, and we were both very quiet. We thought, but weren't sure, my friend was asleep. After a while, my girlfriend sat upright on me and shirked the blanket off. The room was dark, but not completely dark. Nothing was ever said, but I'm pretty sure my friend got to enjoy the view.